Читать книгу Homeland: Carrie’s Run - Andrew Kaplan - Страница 12

It was the song that brought it back. Shania Twain’s “You’re Still the One.” 1998. Her junior year at Princeton. The year of Saving Private Ryan and Shakespeare in Love, and her first big sexual relationship—beyond fumbling when your parents and sister weren’t home and getting your thighs sticky wet in high school—an almost-crush on John, her tall, unbelievably bright poly sci professor, who introduced her to tequila shots, oral sex and jazz music.

“When I was a kid it was all Madonna, Mariah, Luther Vandross, Boyz II Men. The closest to jazz was my dad once in a while maybe listening to a little Dave Brubeck.”

“You’re joking, right? You don’t know jazz? Miles Davis, Charlie ‘Yardbird’ Parker, Dizzy Gillespie, Coltrane, Louis Armstrong? The greatest music ever invented or that ever will be. The one truly original thing we Americans gave the world, and you don’t know? In a way, I envy you.”

“Why?”

“You’ve got a whole new continent to explore, better than anything you can imagine.”

“Better than sex?”

“That’s the beauty of it, gorgeous. We can do both at the same time.”

Nineteen ninety-eight: the last time she ever ran the fifteen hundred. A long time ago, she thought.

She was sitting in a pub on M Street in Georgetown, downing her third Patrón Silver margarita, when the Shania video came on the TV perched behind the bar.

“Remember this? Nineteen ninety-eight. I was in college,” she said, indicating the song to Dave, the guy nursing a Heineken on the bar stool next to her. He was a curly-haired early-forties DOJ attorney in an off-the-rack suit and a Rolex watch that he made sure you caught a glimpse of, his finger brushing her forearm as though neither of them knew it was there or what he was thinking. There was a white band of skin on his ring finger where he’d taken off his wedding ring, so he was either divorced or out trolling, she thought.

“I was a law intern. For me it was Puff Daddy. Been around the world, uh-huh, uh-huh,” he half-sang, moving his shoulders in a manner that was midway between hopeless and semisexy. He wasn’t terrible looking. She hadn’t decided whether to let him get her into bed or not.

She had to force herself not to think about work. That was why she had gone out. Her inquiries were going nowhere. If anything, instead of finding answers, the questions were multiplying and getting more troubling.

For three days straight, she’d been working the computer. Going nonstop. Sleeping at her desk, living on crackers from the vending machine. She went over everything the Counterterrorism Center had on contacts between the Syrian GSD and Hezbollah in Lebanon. Reported contacts. Sightings. Cell phone and e-mail records. Most of it pure data, the everyday sludge of intelligence work. Saul had once compared it to mining for diamonds. “You have to go through tons of debris to every once in a while spot something that glitters. Something that might actually be useful.”

Interestingly, some of the best of it was intel that she herself had supplied, obtained from her source, Julia.

Other than the lead from Dima, there wasn’t much on Nightingale, a.k.a. Taha al-Douni. A graduate of Damascus University in mechanical engineering, he’d first attracted attention from Moscow Station, nine years ago, trying to do business with the big Russian arms company Rosoboronexport. She studied the surveillance photo. It had been taken on a wide snowy street in Moscow, lots of traffic, maybe Tverskaya Street, she thought. Although he was younger, thinner and in an overcoat and big floppy-eared fur hat, it was Nightingale all right, the man who had beckoned to her from the café across the street in Beirut.

No information on where he lived, wife, kids, his work in the GSD. Talk to me, Nightingale, she thought. Where do you work? How high up are you? Where do you fit between the GSD and Hezbollah? Who do you care about? Who do you put your dick in? But combing through everything at CTC, there was just the Moscow surveillance.

And nothing on a possible major terrorist attack on the U.S. What Julia had told her was a lone indicator, completely unsubstantiated. Otherwise nothing. No wonder no one had gotten back to her on it.

And then on the third day, late, she found something. A single photo the NSA had lifted from an Israeli spy satellite download stream, showing Nightingale sitting at a shisha café table. There was a partial tile wall sign in Arabic. She magnified it on the computer screen, then popped it into Photoshop to try to clarify the writing on the sign. It looked like the image could have been taken in either Amman or Cairo, she thought. In a souk, maybe.

Much more important than where the photo was taken was the man Nightingale was sitting with. She didn’t need the identification the Israelis had attached to tell her who it was. It was someone that everyone at Beirut Station, including her, had had in their sights for a long time but almost never actually sighted: Ahmed Haidar, a member of al-Majlis al-Markazis, the Hezbollah Central Council, their inner circle.

So Nightingale, a.k.a. al-Douni, was real. Dima had at least given them solid intel. A bona fide link between the GSD and Hezbollah. She wished she were back in Beirut so she could talk to Julia about Nightingale. Had her husband, Abbas, ever met him? Did he know anything about him? Was he involved in the Hariri assassination?

And then there was another unanswered question: Where was Dima? The link between Nightingale and Ahmed Haidar made that even more critical. This was insane. And there was piss-all from Beirut Station. Just a cryptic note from Fielding to Saul that he had followed up and no one had seen Dima since the break-in at Achilles. And nothing about a terrorist attack in the United States. If he was doing any further follow-up, he didn’t say. Asshole, she thought.

She began tearing through every record from Damascus Station on the GSD. Every reference. Like Saul said, most of it was garbage.

Then she came across something interesting. In the 1990s, a senior CIA case officer, Dar Adal, had run a mole, Nabeel Abdul-Amir, code-named Pineapple, who was supposedly midlevel GSD. Adal had supposedly confirmed the mole’s bona fides. Pineapple was Alawite, Ba’athist, and related to the Assad clan. For more than forty years, the Assads—the father, Hafez al-Assad, and son, Bashar—members of the small minority Alawite Shiite Muslim sect and the pan-Arab nationalistic Ba’athist party, had ruthlessly ruled Syria. Pineapple, a distant cousin, also Alawite and Ba’athist, seemed a perfect choice for a mole. Too perfect, maybe, she mused.

Adal had fed Pineapple tidbits about Israel’s negotiating position on the Golan Heights from a supposed Israeli mole with whom he would have clandestine meetings in Cyprus but who was actually a Hebrew-speaking New York Jew, all in order to get Pineapple promoted within the GSD. When Pineapple tried to expand his Israeli contacts on his own and was about to expose the CIA operation to the Israeli Shin Bet, Adal had apparently—here the record was redacted and got pretty murky—arranged to feed Pineapple to either the Mossad or an outside contractor, who assassinated him, along with his mistress and her child. The three bodies were found on a boat tied to a slip in the Limassol Marina in Cyprus.

Carrie sat up straight, staring at nothing. Who redacted all this? she wondered. How and why? This was old intel. What was going on?

If it came to that, why was there so little on the GSD? Damascus Station was apparently pretty useless, but Fielding had been running Beirut Station for a long time. At least since the early 1990s. Yet, everyone knew the GSD was linked to Hezbollah in Lebanon. The Rafik Hariri assassination last year and the Israeli photograph of Nightingale with Ahmed Haidar proved it. What the hell was going on at Beirut Station? It didn’t add up.

It was late, well after eight P.M. As she worked on the file, Estes, the big African-American who was the director of the Counterterrorism Center, came out of his office and headed toward the elevator, spotted her light still on and came over to her cubicle.

“What are you working on?” he said.

“Syrian GSD. After the nineties, we don’t seem to have a lot.”

“I thought you were working on AQAP.” Estes frowned. Al-Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula, which mostly meant Yemen, was supposed to be her official assignment for CTC since coming back to Langley. “Is there a link?”

“Not sure,” she said, heart beating. She wasn’t supposed to be doing this. “Just vague stuff.”

“Not likely. Syrian Alawites and AQAP? They’re on opposite sides of the Sunni-Shiite divide. You’re not still on Beirut, are you, Carrie?” he said.

Christ, he’s quick, she thought. There was a split that divided the Muslim world between Sunnis and Shiites that went back centuries over who was supposed to be the Prophet Muhammad’s successor. Shiites believed that only Ali, the fourth caliph, and his heirs were legitimate successors to the Prophet. Syrian Alawites were a branch of Shiites, hardly likely to ally themselves with al-Qaeda, extremist Salafist Sunni Muslims. Estes, a Stanford undergrad and Harvard MBA, had picked up on it instantly. She had to keep that in mind. She was slipping, she thought. Running out of meds since coming back from Beirut. It had been a day since she’d taken a clozapine pill and she could feel herself getting ragged around the edges. Keep it together, Carrie, she told herself.

“Sometimes the lines cross. When it’s in their interest,” she said.

He thought for a moment. “That’s true.”

“What about the possible attack on the U.S.? Hear anything?”

“We’ve found nothing to corroborate what your bird said, Carrie. You’ve got to give us more.”

It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him, Send me back to Beirut, but she didn’t say it.

“I’m still looking.”

“I know. Let me know if you find something,” he said, continuing on toward the elevator.

She watched him walk away. She liked the bigness of him, the color of his skin, the grace in his movement despite his size. For a second she fantasized about what sex with him would be like. Slow, strong, intense; she squeezed her thighs together. Her reaction caught her by surprise. This was getting crazy. Masturbation wasn’t going to do it. Maybe it was time she had a man. Real sex. But simple. No complications.

Forget Pineapple, she told herself. Forget Nightingale and Dima for a second. Get away and let the subconscious brain work on the problem. There was a connection she was missing. Nightingale and Ahmed Haidar and the Hezbollah Central Council and suddenly, Nightingale wants to kill or capture a CIA girl?

Why? Who for? GSD? Hezbollah? Somebody else? And after the Achilles break-in, why didn’t Beirut Station go into fire-drill mode? And key files from Damascus Station were redacted? And what did this have to do with an attack? There were too many pieces missing, she thought, turning off her computer and her desk light.

She went back to her apartment in Reston and changed clothes. What am I going to do about my meds? she wondered. Walla, she missed the pharmacy in Beirut, the one on Rue Nakhle in Zarif across from the Doctors Hospital. She could go in there, wave a prescription at them that she’d gotten from an old Lebanese doctor who’d write one for anything so long as you paid him cash in dollars or euros. She could get any drug in the universe there, no questions asked. In the Middle East, her Joe, Julia, had told her, “There are rules and then there are necessities. Allah understands everything. There’s always a way.”

She’d have to go see her sister. Not looking forward to that little conversation, she thought. Maggie was a physician, with a practice in West End, and a house in Seminary Hill in Alexandria, Virginia. The problem was, she couldn’t see a psychiatrist who could write her a prescription. The minute it was on the record, if anyone checked, she, Carrie, could lose her security clearance. Her career at the CIA would be over. It had to be done without a prescription. Off the record. She could call Maggie and go over tomorrow, she decided. Tonight, she needed to get out.

She picked out a silky red top revealing a bit of cleavage and a short black skirt and matching jacket that always made her feel sexy. It was while she was changing clothes and putting on her makeup, Coltrane and Miles Davis on the CD doing “Round Midnight,” the greatest track ever, the one that spoke of night and New York and sex and loneliness and longing and everything there was, that she started to fly.

It began with her looking in the mirror and thinking she looked good, with the makeup and eyelashes, and realizing that she was at her peak. Nature was working to make her as attractive as she would ever be in her life, because nature wanted procreation, and studying herself, she realized she was beautiful, that if she wanted, she could have any man, a hundred men, a thousand. The thought of it, of getting any man anytime, that they were powerless, that she could decide, was like an aphrodisiac. All she had to do was let them get close to her and they would follow like sheep. Nature.

Oh God, the music. Davis and Coltrane. It couldn’t get any better. She felt warm and happy and invincible. She would solve what had happened in Beirut. She would find out about Dima and get Nightingale. She would stop the terror attack and Fielding would have to eat it. Saul would be proud. She was sure of it, her body tingling.

The music went inside you right down your spine. Running out of the house, getting into the car, she drove Reston Parkway to VA 267, then into town across the Key Bridge and into Georgetown; Lester Young’s “She’s Funny That Way” on the CD player, and she felt better, sexier, more irresistible than she’d ever felt in her life.

Now, sitting next to Lawyer Dave at the bar, she leaned forward so he could get a peek at her boobs. Tiny, but the perfect size for a man’s hand to cup, and God knew the guys didn’t seem to care. They would paw at you, the idiots not knowing that if they just touched them the right way, squeezing gently but firmly with just the right amount of pressure, taking their time, they could have any woman they wanted.

“So what do you do?” he was asking.

“Why do you give a shit about what I do?” she said. “Let’s be honest. All you really want to do is have sex with me, right? I mean, stop me if I’m wrong here, because ten-to-one you’re married. Taking the ring off doesn’t fool that many girls except the stupid ones—and even they figure it out eventually, right, Lawyer Dave? So let’s cut to the chase, shall we? Do you want to take me out of here and screw my brains out or don’t you?”

He stared at her, stunned, cautious.

“You’re wearing a ring too,” he said.

“Damn right, I’m taken. Don’t fall in love with me. Don’t even fall in like with me. Don’t get obsessed with me. There’s no future, no romance, no bullshit. There’s just tonight. Take it or leave it. You don’t want to, you want to think about your sweet little wife and kiddies back at the other end of your commute, get off that bar stool and free it up for someone a little more honest about what he really wants in this screwed-up world,” she said.

“You’re really something,” he said.

“You have no idea.”

He put down his beer and stood up.

“Let’s go,” he said.

“Where?”

“Your place.”

“Uh-uh. You don’t get to find out where I live.” She shook her head and downed the rest of her margarita. “Besides, hotshot. You trying to tell me you can afford a Rolex and you can’t afford condoms and a hotel room?”

He held her jacket for her and put on his coat. They went outside. The night was clear and cool and windy; the two-story buildings along M Street stretched as far as could be seen. He put his arm around her as they walked to his car. A Lincoln. Bullshit lawyer’s car, she thought, getting in.

“Where do you want to go?” he asked.

“Ritz-Carlton’s not too far.” The radio was tuned to hip-hop. He’s trying to be cool, she thought. “Put on jazz. WPFW, 89.3.” He tweaked the radio button till she heard the sound of Brubeck and Paul Desmond. “The two Daves,” she said out loud. “You and Dave Brubeck.”

He grimaced. Thinking of money, she thought. How’s he going to explain it on the credit card at his firm or to his wife?

“How about the Latham, just down M Street?” he said.

“A room at the Latham sounds perfect. They should advertise. ‘Come to the Latham. We won’t tell if you don’t,’” she said, leaning over and kissing his crotch, nearly causing him to swerve into oncoming traffic. “Careful, cowboy. We don’t want an accident now.” She exhaled, her breath warm on his pants, her lips feeling him rock-hard under the fabric, then looked up.

The neon lights from the bars and shuttered stores and from the street and traffic lights made patterns on the windows. The patterns merged with the jazz. Nonrepresentational, but a repetitious pattern, like Islamic art. It means something. Something important—then, Oh no! she thought, massaging his crotch, realizing she was starting to lose it.

Bipolar disorder. She’d won the genetic lottery; she’d gotten it from her father. The same thing that had caused him to lose his job and eventually forced them to move from Michigan to Maryland. Not now, she thought. Please not now.

“Take it easy,” he said. She sat up and let him call on his cell to reserve the room. Soon, they were walking through the arched entryway into the hotel lobby. They stopped at the desk, went into the elevator and a minute later, they were in the room, tearing off each other’s clothes. Kissing, tongues fencing inside each other’s mouths and then on the bed.

He reached over to his pants on the floor beside the bed to put on a condom, and as he turned out the light, something about the wallpaper pattern struck her. It was like a grid, only in the darkness, this guy Dave’s outline was like a space. Oh no, she thought. Her bipolar. Get control, Carrie. A space in a grid like the space where Dima was missing. They were all connected, Dima and Nightingale and Ahmed Haidar of Hezbollah in that empty space. It was a grid. And it was the wrong color. The wallpaper was gray, but it should be blue. She needed it to be blue. That’s all she could think of. Spaces in a blue grid, only the color was wrong.

“So beautiful,” Dave said, nuzzling at her breasts, his fingers between her legs, stroking and probing inside her. She smelled his breath. It smelled of beer and, suddenly, something bad, something from the space in the grid. She jerked her head back, almost gagging. He rubbed against her, then took his penis in his hand and guided it inside her. She gasped at the first sensation of him sliding in and looked at the wall. The wallpaper was grid that was moving—and the wrong color.

“Stop! Stop!” she cried, pushing him away.

He pressed in harder. Pumping, moving in and out.

“Stop it! Get off me! Get off me now or so help me, you’ll be sorry, you son of a bitch!”

He stopped. Pulled out.

“What the hell is this? What kind of a tease are you?” he snapped.

“I’m sorry. I can’t. I want to, but I can’t. I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. It’s because, don’t you see, it isn’t the sex. I want the sex. I want you inside me, but I can’t and I don’t know why. It’s my meds. Something I took. It’s the grid. There’s a space. It’s the wrong color. I can’t look at it.”

“Turn over,” he said, pushing at her hips to turn her on her stomach. “We’ll do it that way. You don’t have to look.”

“I can’t, dammit! Don’t you understand? I don’t have to see it to see it! We can’t do this. You have to get out. I’m just a crazy lady, okay? A crazy blonde you met in a bar. A crazy blonde whore in a bar. That’s all I am. I’m so sorry, Dave or whatever your name is. I’m so sorry. Please, there’s something wrong with me. I wanted you. I did, but I can’t do it.” The wallpaper was a moving pattern, geometrically repeating into infinity like the inside of a mosque. “I can’t. Not this way.”

He stood up and started to pull on his clothes.

“You’re crazy, you know that? I’m sorry I met you, stupid crazy bitch.”

“Go to hell!” she shouted back. “Go back to your wife. Tell her you were working late at the office, you lying cheat!” she screamed. “Better yet, do her and pretend it’s me. That way you can have both of us!”

He smacked her hard across the cheek.

“Shut up. You want to get us arrested? I’m leaving. Here.” He threw down a twenty-dollar bill. “Call a cab,” he said, pulling on his coat. He checked his pockets to make sure he hadn’t left anything behind.

“Crazy bitch,” he muttered, opening the door and closing it behind him. As he did so, Carrie stumbled like a drunk to the bathroom sink and threw up.