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BLUEBERRY PIE

INSPIRED BY

STAND BY ME

In Rob Reiner’s coming-of-age classic, a gang of boys is on a mission to find a dead body in rural 1950s Oregon. When night falls, they tell stories around the campfire, and Gordie, the leader of the group, recounts the story of a pie-eating contest. Lardass Hogan, a bullied overweight fellow, entered the competition not to win but to exact vomiting revenge on his bullies. What follows is maybe the most revolting vomit sequence in cinema food history. Even that scene, however, won’t curb one’s desire for homemade blueberry pie with a lard crust, just like they made in rural Oregon. (Do not combine with castor oil.)

Makes 1 double-crusted pie

Ingredients

For the crust:

3 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for dusting

2 tablespoons granulated sugar

1 teaspoon kosher salt

10 ounces leaf lard, chilled

⅓ cup ice water, plus more as needed

For the filling:

6 cups fresh or frozen blueberries

½ cup granulated sugar

½ cup cornstarch

½ teaspoon cinnamon

1 whole vanilla bean, split, seeds scraped, or 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Zest and juice of 1 lemon

Salt

For assembly:

1 egg, beaten

1 tablespoon coarse sugar, such as turbinado

Make the crust: In a food processor, pulse together the flour, granulated sugar and salt. Cut the lard into ½-inch cubes and add them to the food processor, pulsing until it is cut into pea-size pieces. Transfer the mixture to a large mixing bowl and gradually sprinkle with the ice water while gently folding the dough with a rubber spatula. (Start with ⅓ cup of water and add more as needed until a shaggy dough forms; do not overmix the dough.) Pat the dough into two 1-inch-thick discs, wrap tightly in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 2 hours.

While the dough chills, make the filling: In a large bowl, combine the blueberries, granulated sugar, cornstarch, cinnamon, vanilla seeds (or extract), lemon zest, lemon juice and a pinch of salt. Using a rubber spatula, fold the ingredients together until well mixed.

Preheat the oven to 500° and place a rimmed baking sheet on the bottom rack. Remove one dough disc from the refrigerator, unwrap it and place it on a well-floured surface. Using a floured rolling pin, pound the disc down to half its thickness, dusting it with flour as needed. Roll the dough out into an 18-inch round. Transfer the dough by rolling it loosely over the rolling pin and unrolling it into a 9-inch pie pan. Trim the edges of the dough so that it hangs over the pie pan by at least ½ inch. Refrigerate until ready to use.

Pound and roll out the remaining dough into a 16-inch round. Retrieve the prepared pie pan from the refrigerator and fill it with the blueberry mixture, slightly mounding the filling in the center. Using a pastry brush, brush the edges of the bottom crust lightly with water. Top the pie with the second pastry round, pressing around the edges until the crusts are sealed together. Trim the top crust to the same length as the bottom crust and tuck the edges under. Using your fingers (or a fork), crimp a decorative edge around the crust. Cut an X (or other design if desired) into the top of the pie crust for ventilation, and brush liberally with the beaten egg. Sprinkle with the coarse sugar and place in the oven, immediately reducing the temperature to 350°. Bake for 45 to 55 minutes, or until the crust is deeply browned all over. If the edges of the pie begin to get too dark before the rest of the piecrust, wrap them in aluminum foil.

Transfer the pie to a wire rack and let rest for at least 4 hours. Cut and serve (or eat whole without the use of your hands).

“Lardass! Lardass! Lardass!”