Читать книгу A Message for Julia - Angel Smits - Страница 11

Thursday Afternoon, 4:30 p.m.

HANK DROPPED JULIA OFF at the family staging area at the high school. It was in the same gym where she’d just attended a pep rally.

She walked through the familiar doors and looked around. The bleachers were full, but the laughing, smiling high-school students had been replaced by the sad, worried faces of miners’ families. Some of those same kids were here again, their smiles erased by fear.

The only sounds in the room were those of restless bodies, tense whispers and her footsteps as she crossed to the bleachers. Her heels were entirely too loud on the polished wood floor.

She settled on the end of a bench, a bit away from the crowd, and wrapped her arms around her waist. She needed to hold herself together.

No one had said a thing yet. There was no word as to exactly who was in the trapped crew. This wasn’t one of those times where no news was good news.

Voices came from everywhere around her. Soft, hushed voices. Wobbly, worried voices. Broken, pained voices. As a teacher, Julia had learned to eavesdrop in order to stay a step ahead of her students. Turning that skill off now was impossible. The fear and apprehension were alive and dark here in the room with her.

Sitting on the edge of the hard seat, she tried to hang on to her sanity. It wasn’t easy. She looked around and the anguish she saw in the other faces cut through her. She couldn’t look at them. It hurt too much to see their pain.

What was she doing here? she asked herself. She’d left him, ended their life together. She didn’t owe Linc anything.

With a quick glance around the crowd, Julia felt a trace of guilt. No one knew the truth about their marriage because they hadn’t told anyone. If she hadn’t come, what would they think of her? Of Linc?

If he was dead—

She shuddered. Linc. She repeated his name in her head, praying that somehow that could make him appear before her. For the first time in days, she closed her eyes and pictured his face. Not the face that had been lined with anger and red with rage as he argued with her. Not the face of the man who silently drank his coffee each morning before work and barely spoke to her. Not the face of the man who strode from the house the other night.

She saw the boy she’d had a crush on all through high school. The boy she’d stayed up late with cramming for finals in college. The man whose face shone in completion as he made love to her.

The angry things she’d said that last evening at the house echoed around her. She closed her eyes. She didn’t mean them. She swore she didn’t. Pain clogged her throat and she fought the urge to curl in on herself.

“Ms. Holmes?” a young voice said beside her.

Julia’s eyes flew open and she looked down to see one of her former students, Miranda Olsen, standing beside her on the bleacher below. The girl had to be six now. Her dark auburn curls fell from Hello Kitty ponytail holders on each side of her head. She’d grown up since she’d left Julia’s kindergarten class last year.

“Hello, Miranda.” The teacher in her stepped forward and the scared-to-death wife slunk back into the dark corners of Julia’s mind. “It’s nice to see you. How are you?”

“I’m in first grade now.” She confirmed Julia’s earlier thoughts. “I’m here with Mama. Daddy’s in the mine.”

Julia felt the bile rise in her throat. The idea of this child suddenly being fatherless was too much. Just too much. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you here?” The little girl tilted her head sideways.

“My…my husband…” Children didn’t know a thing about legal separations and divorces. They shouldn’t anyway. “My husband is down in the mine.”

Miranda reached out a pudgy hand and patted Julia’s fists. “It’ll be okay, Ms. Holmes. My daddy will take care of him. He takes care of all of us.”

“Oh, honey,” Julia resisted the urge to pull the girl into her arms and hug her tight, to absorb some of that naive confidence. She was afraid that if she held her, she might not be able ever to let go.

“Miranda?” A woman’s voice came from behind Julia. “Come back up here.”

Julia didn’t have to turn around to picture the woman’s face. She remembered her from parent-teacher conferences.

“But, Mama, it’s Ms. Holmes. She’s really sad. I need to help her.”

Even a six-year-old recognized her pain. Mortified, Julia sat up straighter. “Thank you, Miranda.” She covered the tiny hand with her own. “You have helped me. I feel much better now,” she lied. She couldn’t let the girl take on that responsibility. She knew she’d succeeded when Miranda smiled.

“Okay.” Miranda leaned closer, and as only a child could do, she put her hand against her mouth as if to whisper a secret. “It’s okay to be scared. Daddy said he’s scared sometimes, too.”

The girl’s image swam behind the tears that flooded Julia’s eyes. The silence grew and Julia reached out to give a gentle tug to one of her ponytails and urged her to mind her mother.

Please let him be okay. Let them all be okay.

Miranda climbed back up on the seat beside her mother, and Julia didn’t dare look around at her or at the rest of the crowd. Instead, she stared at the gym floor, thinking of another floor, another high school, another time.

She and Linc had known each other all their lives. At least they’d known of each other. In first grade, the same age Miranda was now, they’d both been in Mrs. Schwartz’s class at Preston Elementary school, just outside Philadelphia. Linc had been a wild hellion at that age. He’d gotten his kicks from hiding things, like frogs and bugs, in the girls’ desks or lunch boxes.

She almost let herself smile at the memory of how many times he’d been sent to the principal’s office. That hadn’t stopped him, of course. He just became more creative. She’d sworn she hated him.

Until high school.

Suddenly he’d seemed different. Taller. Less disruptive. Handsome. She hadn’t understood then what she’d felt for him. Desires, some good, some bad—and some she thought were supposed to be bad—kept up a constant battle within her.

He’d been withdrawn their junior year, and she knew it had to do with his father’s death. Linc had had to face the reality that sometimes people were lost deep in the mines. This was his worst fear.

She might be angry with him, and their marriage might be a mess, but she didn’t wish him harm or…

Please, God. Don’t let him die alone in the dark.

Thursday Afternoon, Two Hours Forty-Five Minutes Underground

“WE GOT WALLS TO BUILD, boys.” Gabe’s words shattered Linc’s thoughts. Everyone except Casey stood.

The crew chief was right, work would keep their hands and anxious minds busy. Besides, building walls was an old miners’ survival strategy. After a cave-in, walls helped stabilize the existing roof supports and, by barricading themselves into a small area, the miners could, they hoped, conserve their body heat and block out any toxic gasses.

“I’ll see if I can get the battices. That end of the work site’s still clear.” Robert left to retrieve the canvas cloth stored near the work site for just this reason.

Gabe nodded. “Ryan, head over to the machines and see if you can find any of those bottles of distilled water.” Ryan turned to leave. “But be careful. Don’t move anything to get them.”

“Yes, sir.” Ryan vanished into the darkness, nothing but a bobbing light to indicate his existence.

“Zach, Mike, when Robert gets back, help him get that canvas up.” He paced off space. “Here to here.”

“Got it,” Mike assured him. Zach nodded.

“I can help.” Linc hated having to remind anyone of his existence. Gabe looked hard at him; Linc knew he wasn’t really a part of this team.

“All I want you to do is keep an eagle eye on that meter. Check everyone’s tanks. Regularly.”

Gabe hadn’t forgotten him, after all. He’d assigned each man the job he could do best. A little of Linc’s anxiety eased as his faith in Gabe rose.

Robert returned, Ryan close on his heels. The three bottles of water were a welcome sight.

“Look what else I found.” Ryan held up a battered lunch pail.

“I told you not to move anything.” It was obvious the pail had been buried under something.

“It wasn’t under anything but a couple of rocks.”

“All right. Let’s get this done.” Already, Gabe’s voice was raspy. The thick air was affecting them all. They had to get the barrier up before they lost all their strength. As it was, the task took more effort than normal.

The space they sectioned off was small and close, but it was the best hope they had of surviving until the rescue teams came for them.

They struggled with the large canvas, stumbling a couple of times because of the difficulty breathing. Twice, Zach left and had to crouch down to catch his breath. Finally, the large sheet in place, they all settled down to regain their strength.

Linc felt the exhaustion and lethargy creep over him. He stared at the white canvas wall—what he could see of it in the dim light, anyway. Somehow, it seemed they were admitting defeat by putting it up, but it was the only thing they had. Now all they could do was wait and try to stay alive.

Leaning back against the cold, rough wall, Linc closed his eyes. Were these men’s faces and that damned wall of fabric the last things he’d ever see? Had this been what his father had experienced?

Memories of that long-ago day surfaced. His father’s last day.

The news had come that there had been a cave-in. The families all gathered aboveground, just as they probably were doing right now. Absently, Linc looked up, as if he could somehow see through the mountain of rock. Had they gotten in touch with Julia? Would she even come?

Did she even know he was alive? Did anyone believe they’d survived? Were they going to dig for them, or had everyone given up and left the mine to be their tomb?

Questions and images flew at him from everywhere inside his head.

He remembered his mother’s collapse that day. She’d never been the same after that. The broken, wailing woman had looked and sounded nothing like the mother he’d known for sixteen years.

As she’d crumbled, he’d put his arms around her, tried to comfort her, tried to absorb her tears into his young embrace. He’d tried but never quite succeeded.

He thought about Julia and couldn’t imagine her crumbling like that, but he hadn’t expected it of his mother, either. Did Julia even still care enough to hurt for him? Panic shot through him. At least his mother had had him and his brother to comfort her.

Julia had no one.

And that was his fault. He’d moved her away from her parents. Away from her friends to a strange and—according to her—inhospitable town. He’d done worse than his own father. He’d left her totally alone.

Guilt clawed in his chest as if some creature that had possessed him for years now fought to dig its way out.

She wanted children. Desperately. He’d been the one who hadn’t really cared. He’d rarely considered having kids of his own, swearing he wouldn’t leave them as his father had left him. But he’d always tried to give Julia everything he could.

A sound, a sob, broke from his throat. He smothered it with a groan and rose to his feet. He smacked his shoulder on the rock wall but suffered the pain in silence, accepting the punishment for his own selfish stupidity.

“What are they doing up top?” Ryan’s voice shook. Linc realized all of their emotions were kicking in without any physical activity to distract them.

“They’ll drill an air shaft first,” Gabe whispered from the far corner as if fighting his own fears.

“Yeah,” Linc agreed, hoping. “Fresh air. Man, won’t that be nice?” Perhaps he’d get another chance. Perhaps, he prayed, not even sure what he was praying for, but knowing it couldn’t hurt.

Wouldn’t that surprise Julia? Him. Praying. He shook his head and smiled. The movement pulled the tight skin of his dry lips and the twinge of pain reminded him they all needed water.

“Where are those water jugs?” he asked. The water was kept down here for the machines but came in handy in times like this.

“Over by Casey,” Ryan answered.

Linc found them easily. He opened one and took a deep swallow, then passed it to Ryan. “Take some. We need to stay hydrated.” Ryan nodded and drank. Everyone followed suit and they even managed to get some down Casey’s throat.

Linc sank back down to his spot on the ground. He’d be damned if he was giving up.

Julia might be up there. She might not, but he was going to do everything in his power to get back to her so they could at least fight it out face-to-face.

He had to hold on to that anger. It might be all he had.

Thursday Afternoon, 5:00 p.m.

THE STEEL DOORS AT THE END of the gym burst open, sending Julia’s heart into her throat. Men covered in soot, their clothes grimy with it, flooded into the gym.

Everyone in the bleachers stood. Looking, seeking the man they’d spent the past few hours agonizing over.

Fervently, Julia searched. Too tall. Too short. Too heavy. While all the men looked alike in their dirty coveralls and blackened faces, none of them remotely resembled Linc.

Her stomach tensed and her chest burned as she held her breath. Tears flowed and men hugged women, children and each other. Slowly, the crowd thinned as families left. Surely she’d find him soon. Or he’d find her.

Lord knew she longed for that instant when she’d see him, recognize him. Would he hug her tightly? She wouldn’t even care if the mine soot ruined her clothes. Or would he simply look at her with that painful silence and turn away as he had so many times lately?

She didn’t care right now. She just wanted him here, safe. She couldn’t be his wife anymore, but she didn’t want him hurt, either.

Still, he didn’t appear.

The fluorescent lights overhead dimmed. The noise of the crowd faded.

He wasn’t coming. She knew it. Knew deep down inside that he was with that ill-fated crew.

“Oh, God,” she whispered and felt the bench come up to meet her. She wanted to bury her face in her hands and weep but didn’t dare, just in case she missed him.

“Daddy!” Miranda’s high-pitched squeal shattered the din. Miranda’s father, grungy and filthy, swept her up in his arms. She giggled despite the smudge of black he left on her cheek where he kissed her.

“Daddy, did you help Ms. Holmes’s husband?”

He frowned in confusion.

“Oh, sweetie.” Julia stood again and reached out to stop the girl’s words before they could rush out, but Miranda wasn’t having any of that.

“Your husband?” Mr. Olsen—Julia couldn’t remember his first name at the moment—looked at her in confusion, then as recognition dawned, he frowned. “Is he down there?”

She couldn’t speak. All she could manage was a shrug. She longed for the days when a daddy could fix all the world’s problems.

“We’re going back down, ma’am.”

“Ben, no.” His wife held tight to his hand, snuggled up against his side and laid her head on his shoulder.

“You know that’s how we do it,” he whispered.

Tears in her eyes, the woman nodded. “I know.”

Julia looked at the small family, her longing so thick it nearly stopped her heart from beating. She wanted a family of her own, but right now she was far away from having anything close to that.

“Holmes, right? He’s the inspector?” Ben’s voice broke into her thoughts. “He’s a good guy. Not like some inspectors. He’s fair. We’ll get him out.”

She believed him. Linc would do the exact same thing. That look of determination in Ben’s eyes was identical to the one she saw so often on Linc’s face.

How had she missed that?

She swallowed hard and sat back down before she fell over. She watched the Olsen family leave. Miranda and her mother turned toward home, comfortable in the knowledge their husband and father was safe. Ben turned back to the mine to help find the others. Find Linc.

Just before the door closed, Julia saw Ben pull his wife close and kiss her long and deep.

She wanted to tear her gaze away, but she couldn’t. An ache grew in her throat and she tried to remember the last time she’d been kissed like that.

She couldn’t remember.

What was wrong with her that she couldn’t stay in love with her husband? The thought hit her hard. Did she even love Linc anymore? She missed being held and loved and the company. She hated being alone. But did she actually miss him?

She didn’t miss the anger and the frustration that came with waking up each morning.

“Mrs. Holmes?” A neatly dressed young woman touched Julia’s shoulder, interrupting her thoughts. “Hello,” the woman said softly, not waiting for Julia to respond, as if she feared Julia might break from the sound of her voice. “I’m Elizabeth Wilson.”

Julia stared at her.

Elizabeth must have realized Julia wasn’t going to, or couldn’t, speak. “I’m a counselor. I thought maybe you’d like some company.” Without waiting for an invitation, the woman sat down beside Julia.

That’s when Julia’s hope slipped. Linc was trapped underground. Perhaps even—she nearly retched at the thought—perhaps even dead.

She looked around at the suddenly surreal world. Few families remained. Those still seated had bleak, pained looks on their faces. She recognized Rita, Ryan’s mother, the woman who’d spoken to her only a few hours ago at the grocery store. She saw Rita’s husband and daughter-in-law, Rachel.

Julia’s heart ached. Rachel Sinclair’s presence meant that both brothers were down there with Linc.

She saw Shirley Wise and her heart rate increased a bit with hope. It felt a bit better knowing Gabe was with him. It was common knowledge around town that Gabe Wise was one of the most experienced miners. If anyone knew that mine, he did.