Читать книгу A Mum For Amy - Ann Evans - Страница 11

AS SOON AS Maggie left the construction trailer, she called Zack. Her nerves still sang with tension from her confrontation with Will in front of Teddy LaCrosse, but at least she felt some small measure of relief that she hadn’t been completely shot down. Sapphire Seas had a chance—a slim one, especially if Will refused to be fair and found fault at every turn, but a chance all the same.

She asked Zack to start lining up the oven team who would be responsible for pouring acrylic molds for the tanks. He might be terrible with paperwork, but her business partner had a real knack for handling her part-time construction crew.

“I heard Dick Iverson moved back to Wisconsin after the last hurricane, so he’s out,” Zack told her as she sat at one of the constant stream of traffic lights on Collins Avenue. “Are you coming back tonight? We can have dinner and talk about who else might be available.”

“I think I’ll stay a couple of days. There’s a huge homebuilders’ convention in town. Maybe I can drum up some business. Since you’re coming up tomorrow to do the installation on the Blue Reef job, we could talk then.”

“Okay,” Zack said. “But if you show up at the Blue Reef, I’m putting you to work.”

The Blue Reef Bar and Grill was one of their latest clients, an upscale watering hole that had contracted for a large bi-view tank that would separate the restaurant from the bar area. Nothing too difficult or exotic, and on those kinds of jobs Maggie seldom got involved in setting the end product in place.

“Fine,” Maggie teased back. “I’ll show you boys how it’s supposed to be done.”

Zack laughed. “Just don’t run up a big hotel bill while you’re there. No room service.”

“I know what the budget will tolerate. I’m going to ask Alaina if I can stay at her place. In that big house of hers, she’s bound to have room.”

There was the slight hesitation that Maggie always got from Zack at the mention of her sister’s name. Then he said easily, “All right. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, then.”

Although Zack couldn’t see her, Maggie shook her head in disgust. Ten years had passed since he and Alaina had broken up—too long to let the heated, passionate turmoil of those young days still bother him. Alaina had been married for ages, presumably for keeps. Zack, on the other hand…He dated, but he never seemed interested in settling down.

What was he waiting for? Did he think Alaina would change her mind? It seemed silly for a great guy like Zack Davidson to let an old love continue to affect him.

But as Maggie hung up from Zack and dialed her sister’s number, she scolded herself. Who was she to tell people how they ought to deal with their emotions? Sometimes, didn’t those early relationships do enough damage to last a lifetime? After all these years, coming face-to-face with Will Stewart had certainly set her blood on fire, hadn’t it? Thank goodness, though, it had been for an entirely different reason than unrequited love.

Maggie was relieved when Alaina seemed delighted at the idea of having an unexpected visitor. It had been at least a year since they’d last seen one another, two since she’d visited her parents.

Years ago, when Maggie had left Miami for Key West, she’d been furious with all three of them, but she hadn’t been able to stay angry at her sister for long. Alaina could seldom stand up to their parents, but she didn’t have a mean bone in her body. She would have done anything for her younger sister, including raise Maggie’s illegitimate baby as her own—an idea Connie and James Tillman had unbelievably considered the best solution for everyone.

A solution that Maggie had hotly refused to consider.

The moment Alaina opened the front door of her huge home in North Miami, Maggie found herself swallowed in a tight, welcoming hug. It surprised her a little. Alaina was reserved and not much of a “hugger.”

Alaina had always been delicately beautiful, articulate and poised, everything that Maggie had never been and never would be. Just shy of thirty, she had an elegant sophistication now. She looked trim and spotless in white shorts, with long, bare legs that were sun-gilded to a rosy gold. There wasn’t a blond hair out of place, in spite of the fact that she looked like she’d just come off the tennis court.

Maggie had to hide a secret grimace. Any time she had played tennis, it had strictly been baggy pants and sweat marks at the armpits of her T-shirt.

Alaina drew back, still holding Maggie’s arms. “I’ve missed you so much!”

“You have?” Maggie replied in a stunned tone, without thinking. She wasn’t used to this kind of effusive greeting from Alaina. Her sister tended to welcome you like a queen inviting a television crew into the palace.

“Of course,” Alaina said. “Come on, I have your room all ready. It’s Delia’s day off, so the place is a mess, but a little clutter never used to bother you much. Close your eyes if you can’t bear it.”

Maggie kept her eyes open as she followed her sister through the house. She made a mental note to look up the word clutter in the dictionary when she got home. Alaina’s definition must be an iced tea glass sweating on the coffee table without a coaster and a tennis racket tossed onto a chair. Everything else looked model-home perfect and boring—from the impressive baby grand piano placed artfully by the floor-to-ceiling windows, to a massive piece of modern sculpture that soared skyward in the foyer.

Maggie thought suddenly of her lumpy but comfortable couch at home, snagged at a neighbor’s garage sale, and her mismatched dining chairs. Her apartment boasted the kind of decor that came from seldom having guests and never seeing your own home with fresh eyes. Compared to this place, it was a disaster.

Honestly, it was amazing that she and Alaina were actually sisters.

“Same old dump, I see,” Maggie remarked.

Alaina smiled back over one shoulder. “It’s awfully bland, isn’t it? But Gil insisted we use a professional designer for the common areas. He feels a certain impression has to be maintained. The house has to say something about who he is.”

“Oh, it does,” Maggie replied.

She clamped her tongue between her teeth to keep from divulging more. She didn’t like Alaina’s husband, Gil. He might be a brilliant, prominent pediatric surgeon, but Maggie thought him overbearing and a complete snob. And the few times she’d been around him, he’d been so bossy with Alaina. Of course, that hardly differed from the way her parents had always treated her sister, but it seemed a little unfair that Alaina should have gone from one domineering household to another.

But…maybe Alaina, never much for taking chances or bucking authority, liked it that way.

She led Maggie down a long hallway. Finally, she came to a door, opened it, and stepped aside. “I redecorated the back bedrooms a few months ago. I hope you like yours. I don’t care if it is all last year’s colors.”

Maggie had been about to make a playfully snarky remark about being stuck with “last year’s colors,” but when she stepped into the room, the beauty of it took her breath away. The furniture didn’t match, but actually worked together instead of looking like a hodgepodge. Cream and rose hues, with a touch of green for accent. All the soft colors of a Victorian garden party. The curtains at the tall windows were real lace, billowing an invitation in the soft breeze.

Noting Maggie’s silence, Alaina said, “Do you think it’s too girly? Gil refuses to put any of his relatives in here.”

Maggie turned to face her sister. “Al, it’s gorgeous. You really did miss your calling. You shouldn’t have let Mom and Dad talk you out of a degree in interior design.”

Alaina shook her head. “That was just a silly dream. I didn’t really have enough imagination to sustain that kind of career. So now I’m exactly who I should be.”

Maggie frowned a little. And who was that?

She didn’t know her sister all that well anymore. They had always been very different people, but as the years had gone by, the gap had widened. They certainly didn’t have mutual friends and interests, or kids or husbands. Just their parents.

And Alaina knew better than to encourage that particular point of connection.

Maggie turned back to the room, feeling a tightness in her chest, regretting that she and her sister had become so distant. She made the sudden, impassioned decision that from now on she would try to rectify that, try harder to be a real friend to Alaina.

She rolled her weekender to the bed and hefted it on top. Alaina went into hostess mode, pointing out the bathroom and a basket of high-end toiletries that put Maggie’s hotel freebies to shame. She promised to bring more hangers if Maggie needed them. Would she like scented ones?

Maggie had to laugh. “I don’t think I’ll need more. I usually drape my good clothes over a chair and ball up everything else in a corner.”

“Even after all these years?” Alaina asked. “Mom would be horrified.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve shocked her. Or Dad, either.”

“It doesn’t have to be that way.”

Maggie gave her sister a wry smile. “Don’t start. That’s just the way it is. We’re pleasant to one another. I still love them. Didn’t I come up for Dad’s retirement party? We’re just not destined to be close.”

Alaina went to the windows and fiddled with the curtains while Maggie unzipped her bag. Somewhere in the distance she could hear wind chimes tinkling sweet notes.

“Are you going to stop by to see them?” Alaina asked, still intent on the drapes.

“I doubt it. I only need to stay a couple of days.”

“Mom would probably like to see you. Since Dad’s retired he doesn’t have enough to do, and she says he drives her crazy.”

“I can imagine,” Maggie replied. It wasn’t hard to picture her father trying to rearrange her mother’s household chores or deciding on the spur of the moment to remodel the family room. “Maybe I’ll swing by for an hour or two on my way out of town.”

Maggie visited Connie and James Tillman mostly out of obligation now. She still considered herself a dutiful daughter. But when she came up to see them, their time together was deliberately brief. Her parents were better taken in small doses, and there was a coolness to all of their interactions, as though they were guests she’d only just met at a party and not the people who’d raised her.

She pulled a blouse out of her suitcase, shaking out the wrinkles. From the corner of her eye, she was aware of her sister turning from the window.

“I wish things could have been different,” Alaina said suddenly.

“Different how?”

“You know. About the baby.”

Maggie looked up. Alaina, never comfortable talking about unpleasant family history, seldom mentioned those early days when Maggie had discovered she was pregnant.

Her sister grimaced. “I wish I’d tried harder to make them see how wrong they were back then. It’s true Gil and I were eager for kids, but letting Mom and Dad persuade me to take your baby wasn’t the answer. I should have told them no right away instead of allowing them to browbeat you for days.”

Maggie let the blouse drop from her hands. She could hear the sudden anguish in her sister’s voice. How long had Alaina been wanting to say this?

In dismay, Maggie said, “It wouldn’t have mattered if they had gone on at me for a month. There was just no way I could bear to end up being Aunt Maggie, living on the outskirts of my own child’s life. But I don’t blame you, Al. At the time, they thought it was a perfectly sensible solution, and you couldn’t have refused.”

Their eyes met, and immediately Alaina’s looked elsewhere, leaving a brief burn of barely concealed shame. “I know they hurt you,” she said. “I should have taken your side. But I’m not a fighter and never have been. I don’t like…confrontation. Arguing is so…”

“Fight phobia.”

Alaina’s gaze swung back to her. “What?”

Maggie gave her a small smile of understanding, hoping to lighten the mood. “Back in high school. That’s what Zack used to call it when I’d complain because you wouldn’t take a stand with me against Mom and Dad. Fight phobia.”

Maggie came around the bed to go to her sister’s side. Gently, she squeezed Alaina’s arm and drew her closer. “It’s all right. Everything worked out for the best.”

“Did it?” Alaina asked, looking uncertain. “I want a child so badly. I don’t know how you reached that point where you could—” She colored suddenly. “I’m sorry. That came out wrong. I’m not judging you.”

“You couldn’t possibly judge me more harshly than I do myself sometimes.” Maggie felt a sudden, tight thickness at the back of her throat. Talking about children—particularly the fact that she didn’t have any—always made things difficult. Maybe it was time to change the subject. She touched Alaina’s cheek. “Are you and Gil still trying for a baby?” she asked quickly, hoping that her sister wouldn’t notice anything wrong with her voice.

“Not so much anymore. We’ve done everything the doctors say. But after nine years, you start to think…”

“Maybe you need to spice things up a bit. I hear the Internet has all kinds of Web sites where you can buy—”

“Mag!”

“Oh, good grief. How can sex make you blush after nine years of marriage?”

“There are some things that are just too personal to discuss.”

Maggie waved that away. If she was really going to try to strengthen her relationship with Alaina, she might as well start now. “Between sisters? Nonsense. Ask me anything. I guarantee I’m long past the blushing stage, and very few things make me uncomfortable anymore.”

Alaina gave her a searching look. “Do you ever think about your baby?”

Maggie blinked rapidly. She could not hold Alaina’s gaze, not even for a second. Something inside her just couldn’t manage it.

She had the quick vision of her daughter’s face as the clinic’s midwife had placed the baby in her arms. All red and unhappy and helpless as she wailed. And then gone, so suddenly. It had only been a moment. How could she explain to Alaina that such a tiny fragment of time still made her brain and her heart burn like brimstone?

“Every day of my life,” Maggie said carefully. “I’ve second-guessed that decision from the moment I made it and wondered what my life would be like if I hadn’t. What she might look like now, as a little girl.”

The silence between them thickened, then Maggie straightened her spine, determined to be brisk. “But it’s easier to find solutions when your stomach is full and you aren’t sleeping in your car. When I showed up on Zack’s doorstep, I honestly didn’t know how I could manage with a baby. They need so much.” She grimaced. “So I just made the best choice for her that I could. At least what I thought would be best.”

“You should have gone to Will,” Alaina said softly. “I always liked him. I think he would have helped you.”

Maggie stepped away abruptly, returning to her suitcase. “Really, Al. You’re too romantic to be believed. Will told me flat out that he hoped he’d never see me again. That the danger I exposed Lisa to was unforgivable. Do you honestly think he would have been thrilled by the idea of having a baby with a woman he despised? First he would have accused me of getting pregnant on purpose—which I didn’t—”

“You were always so careless about keeping track—”

Maggie made a face at her, more comfortable to return to this testy camaraderie. “You don’t have to point that out. I know. But I’m much better about it now, I assure you.”

“Sorry.”

“And then he would have been furious. Forced to share custody for the rest of his life with someone he hates? Never able to file me away in some compartment of his tidy little mind labeled Finished Business? Trust me, that definitely wasn’t an option back then.”

“I suppose we’ll never know,” Alaina said. “Isn’t it funny how both of us, in our own way, always give in to fear?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m always afraid of doing something that will disappoint someone. Mom and Dad. Gil. And you’re frightened that people will think you can’t manage your own life. That somehow they’ll think you’re weak. Too much pride, Maggie.”

She didn’t want to talk about this. She let Alaina take the blouse from her hands and slip it onto a padded hanger. Then she kicked off the heels she’d worn for the meeting with Teddy and began massaging one instep.

“What do you want to do about dinner?” she asked. “I feel like steak. Should I make a reservation for three at Maldanado’s? Or is Gil still boycotting red meat?”

Alaina emerged from the closet, then headed for the door. “Gil’s in Boston this week. He’s giving a couple of speeches at a pediatricians’ conference.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t go with him,” Maggie said with a frown. “You love Boston.”

Alaina shrugged. “Not this time. Now I’m going to fix us some lunch.”

“Al…”

Alaina turned back.

“Why haven’t you asked me about Zack? I’ve mentioned him twice now. Don’t you want to know how he is?”

Her sister didn’t miss a beat. “Okay. How is he?”

“He’s great. Still the best friend a girl could ever have. And he’s really my right arm when it comes to the business. I’m afraid I’m going to lose him next year.”

“Lose him?” Alaina’s brows rose. “Why?”

“He keeps talking about opening up his own shop. Nothing to do with aquariums, so I don’t have to worry about competition. But his cabinetry work is so remarkable. I’m sure his talent has had a lot to do with the success of Sapphire Seas.” She gave Alaina a curious glance. “Don’t you want to know if he ever talks about you?”

Alaina bit her lower lip, and Maggie wondered if that was the only way she could keep it from trembling. Then she tilted her head back a little, all trace of discomfort gone. “No,” she claimed succinctly. “Why would I? What we were in high school…what might have been…what difference does all that make now?”

Maggie grimaced. “Mom and Dad really did a number on both of us, didn’t they? Trying to convince me that you could raise my child, until I just got fed up and ran away. Brainwashing you into thinking that Zack wasn’t good enough. That you weren’t head over heels in love with him.”

“Maybe I wasn’t.” She sighed a little. “Like I said, it doesn’t matter now. Eventually you have to leave behind all that foolishness.”

“So you can become exactly who you’re supposed to be,” Maggie said, reciting Alaina’s earlier words.

“That’s right,” Alaina replied. Then she frowned a little. “This is who I am now. I’m a married woman with a very successful husband who loves me. I have a beautiful home. Lots of friends. And parents who, unlike you, I get along with. What more do I need?”

“Sounds fantastic.”

“It is. Now let me go fix lunch.”

“Al?”

Again Alaina stopped, but this time there was a touch of exasperation in the look she gave Maggie. “What now?”

“You just said you were a married woman. How come you didn’t preface that with the word happily?”

Alaina looked surprised and, for just a moment, Maggie thought her sister might actually give her hell for that question. Instead, she paused then shook her head. “Honestly, Maggie,” she said softly. “Now who’s being a silly romantic?”