Читать книгу Regency Society Collection Part 2 - Хелен Диксон, Ann Lethbridge, Хелен Диксон - Страница 20

The case clock announced five in the morning and Eleanor pulled back the edge of the drawing-room drapes. No word from Garrick. She rubbed her arms, trying to maintain some warmth in her limbs. The fire in the hearth had died long ago.

If he was not a traitor to England, he would have revealed his presence instead of skulking in her stables for weeks on end. Or would he? She still found it hard to believe he would betray his country. Nevertheless, she had sent the scullery maid back to bed when she had come to light the fire just a few minutes ago. She didn’t want the servants seeing him and talking.

If he came.

She heard a noise in the entrance hall and ran to see. Garrick was already climbing the stairs. He turned when he heard the drawing-room door open.

He had changed his clothes. His hair was still impossibly short, but the scruffy beard was gone and she had no trouble recognising her husband.

‘Ellie, I didn’t expect to find you awake.’ He spoke softly and came back down to her, putting his hands on her shoulders.

‘You expected me to sleep?’ She pushed him away.

‘I thought we would talk tomorrow.’ A gentle smile curved his lips, his gaze dropping to her stomach. ‘You need your rest.’

‘Will you be here tomorrow? For months, you let me think you were dead.’ Her voice caught in her throat and she swallowed hard. ‘I have to know why.’

His expression filled with doubt, then he nodded. He took her hand and led her back into the drawing room.

‘It’s cold in here,’ he said, looking at the empty grate. ‘No wonder your hands are like ice.’ He sat opposite her and leaned back negligently. ‘What would you like to know?’

There it was again, the withdrawal. The feeling he didn’t want her involved in his life. ‘Everything. Start with tonight.’

He made a sound of disgust. ‘Tonight was almost a disaster. I had sworn to bring Le Clere to justice for his part in what he did to you. He admitted it all to the magistrate just now. How he made me believe I killed my mother. How he drained the estate year by year after her death.’

‘The man was evil.’

He looked up as if surprised at her vehemence, then returned his gaze to the empty fire.

‘I knew Le Clere would never give up, not once he heard you were with child and I was dead. I used you as bait.’ He paused, as if expecting a reaction. When she said nothing, he went on.

‘I persuaded Dan to get me and my men into this house so I could be close to you.’ He chuckled slightly. ‘I thought you had recognised me that first day, and I thanked my lucky stars for that evil cough left over from the Dutch prison. I have never seen such a look of disgust as on your face.’

He glowered. ‘I almost missed you when you slipped out tonight. We had no idea you’d had contact with him. It must have been during that damnable walk in the park. I couldn’t leave the horses.’ He looked at her for confirmation and she nodded. ‘If I hadn’t known that walk of yours, the determined tilt of your chin, I might not have guessed who you were tonight.’

He frowned. ‘You risked my child.’ He brushed his knuckles down the line of her jaw. ‘I would have been at pointe non plus right now if you had not stopped under the light.’

Guilt clenched her stomach. He was right. She had risked their child. She hadn’t given it a thought. All she could think of was Garrick. She should have known something was wrong. Impetuosity always had been her downfall. ‘Thank God you did know it was me.’

His eyebrow flew up.

‘But Garrick, Le Clere said you sold secrets to the French. And those men?’ The catch in her voice betrayed her efforts to appear calm. ‘Who were they?’

‘The two men Dan placed here are from my old regiment. Known as “sweeps”, they do all of the army’s dirty work. Reconnoitring, spying, cleaning up the messes left by the redcoats. The Frenchmen are friends of mine. They followed Le Clere from France and had the inn surrounded before we arrived. I thought I could handle Le Clere alone. They were waiting outside for a signal from me.’

His mouth quirked up in the cynical smile she had realised he used to hide his feelings. ‘It was very nearly a bullet in my brain that brought them in on us.’

She couldn’t prevent a shudder.

He looked at her as if surprised. ‘Would you have cared, mignonette?’

‘How can you ask? How did you come to be involved with these men? Frenchmen, Garrick.’

He hesitated, his eyes shuttered against her. Her heart sank. What web of lies would he spin?

‘Chérie,’ he answered, soft and low, ‘these are not my secrets to tell.’

‘I am your wife. If you can’t trust me, there is no more to be said.’ She started to rise.

‘What then, ma perle? Will you send me away again?’ He sounded bitter.

It was hopeless. She began to move away, but his low voice continued and she sank back down. He was staring at the hearth as if seeing events unfolding in the cold ashes.

‘I bought a commission in a regiment after I saw you at Castlefield, as you probably know. The Ninety-Fifth. It’s not one of the most glamorous regiments and the work is dangerous. It suited my mood.’

He leaned forwards, elbows on his knees. ‘You know what I feared I had done.’

‘You are innocent. William has the letter. I’m so sorry.’

‘I know. Sissy told Dan and he told me.’

She thought he’d be pleased, but it seemed to make him sadder, more remote as if he was already lost to her. Could she blame him? After all, she had trapped him in a marriage he didn’t want. She wanted to reached out, but didn’t dare, kept her hands clenched in her lap.

‘You saw Le Clere. That blood runs in my veins.’ He looked sickened. ‘I hoped I would be killed and end the damned curse. Indeed, when I first joined the regiment I cared so little for my own safety, men called me the mad Marquess.’ He smiled, but there was no joy in it, just bleak satisfaction.

She shivered.

‘I liked army life. The danger kept my mind off other things.’

‘What things?’ It was foolish to ask, and she couldn’t keep the hope out of her voice.

He glanced up. ‘You.’ It was said so simply, without anger or accusation, that she felt his pain. She forced herself to remain still, much as she wanted to kneel at his feet and beg forgiveness.

Once more he sat silent and gathered his thoughts, staring into the past. Finally, he continued in the same low tone.

‘Then the rumours started. I’d ruined a virtuous lady. Beaten a youth to within an inch of his life. They were muttered behind my back, and sometimes hinted at to my face. Slowly, my friends among my brother officers dwindled away. They believed it. No smoke without fire, eh, chérie?’

She winced. He would never forgive William for starting those rumours or her for believing them. How could he? If only she’d trusted her heart. ‘Go on.’

‘During that time my French background came to the attention of a certain man on the general’s staff. You will forgive me if I do not give you his name. The fact that I had little care for my own personal safety also suited his plans. Briefly, I was recruited as a spy, but not by the French.’ He smiled grimly. ‘For England. I was honoured to be chosen. It was, and is, a very important task. But it has some drawbacks.’ He laughed softly.

Wishing she could comfort him, Eleanor reached out. He saw her hand, but didn’t take it, keeping his gaze fixed on the fireplace as if he couldn’t bear to look at her face.

‘It was the hardest thing I ever had to do…almost.’ He gave her a look of such raw agony, she knew instinctively he was referring to the day he had walked away from Castlefield Hall. Her heart shrank painfully small. She felt his hurt with pain of her own. The pain of regret.

‘I sold out. Complained I’d been passed over for promotion.’ He shook his head. ‘My fellow officers suspected me of more cowardice. All but Dan, poor lad, cut me dead.’ This time his smile was warm.

‘I became a malcontent. Half-French, bitter at England and highly placed. The perfect material for use by England’s enemy. Unfortunately, I was seen in France by a captured English officer. More rumours made the rounds. Not a bad thing as a smokescreen, but if I became a pariah, I would lose my usefulness to the French. We arranged for the Prince of Wales to befriend me—after all, who would speak out against Prinny’s closest companion without proof? The French were delighted with the development. The Prince thought it a great joke. Able to move freely in France, I rallied the few remaining loyalists. Some of whom you saw tonight. I still hold the rank of Major in the British army. Not that it will ever be acknowledged.’

That hurt him. She could hear it in his voice. ‘Garrick, I—’

He winced and held up his hand, his face stark, his eyes clouded by inner storms. ‘As a spy, I had access to many resources, here and abroad. I discovered your brother was the source of the rumours about what I had done to you. It didn’t come as a surprise. I was just glad he never let fall your name. For that I would have been forced to take his life.’

The chill determination in his face sent a shiver down her back.

He took a deep breath, as if forcing himself to go on. ‘Over the years, I thought about the letter’s disappearance.’ He laughed, a bitter, self-disparaging sound. ‘I’m such a bloody romantic, I thought you’d tried to save my worthless skin by hiding it.’

She should have trusted him as her heart had demanded. Her vision blurred. ‘I wish I’d thought of it.’ Her voice caught.

He looked up. ‘Ellie, don’t, please. Let me finish. With Napoleon imprisoned on Elba, I thought the war was over. It was time to put my personal affairs in order.’

‘But why were you so set on recovering the letter, if you thought it proved your guilt?’

This was the moment Garrick had feared most. He could not draw back. He had committed to telling her everything.

He hung his head. He’d thought revenge would ease the pain. All it had done was make things worse between him and Ellie.

‘I sought you out with the express purpose of finding the letter and accusing your brother of protecting a murderer.’ He could not stay his short, hard laugh. ‘I would get my punishment, and he’d go to jail. The perfect Le Clere revenge. I knew your brother would accept the blame rather than see you punished.’ Bile rose in his throat as he heard himself utter the words. He forced himself to continue.

‘Everything William did, he did to protect his family. But that wasn’t good enough for me. I wanted him to suffer because he took you from me, even if it hurt you, too.’

She laid her hand on his. He stared at her small bandaged fingers resting on his large tanned hand. He had almost been the cause of her death tonight, her and the babe. Only her courage and wit had saved the day.

He put a hand on top of hers, encasing the cold, icy skin. Thank God she didn’t pull away in disgust. Somehow feeling her hand beneath his gave him the courage to go on. He smoothed it gently.

‘I even went so far as to involve your sister, pretending I would ruin her, to lure you in. I used you. When you agreed to marry me, I couldn’t believe it.’ He closed his eyes and shook his head. ‘It was hell on earth. I had my orders. I had to be back in France the next day. Yet I couldn’t resist. It was all I ever wanted. You. A family…’ His voice broke. ‘I never meant to give you a child. Before I met you, I intended never to marry. To never pass on the Le Clere curse. You trusted me and I let you down.’ A lump in his throat made further speech impossible.

The truth lay between them, ugly and raw. Now she knew he was just as bad as Le Clere. Worse. She knew he’d planned her beloved twin’s downfall.

She didn’t move or speak, just stared at him with her grey eyes huge in her pale oval face. The face he saw every night in his dreams.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said softly. ‘I’ll not force you to stay with me. I am not fit for human company. All I ask is a role with our child. That somehow we find a way not to destroy another life with bitterness and hate.’

He could not look at her. He heard her get up. She would leave now. He would not beg her to stay. He’d begged once before and she had sent him away. And rightly so. It was for the best.

The silence between them seemed endless.

The rustle of silks as she knelt beside him whispered of hope. ‘I don’t believe in curses.’

Ah, Ellie—even now she would try to take his part. He could not let her be fooled. ‘Chérie, the Le Clere tempers are legendary, it shows up in history books.’

Ellie couldn’t bear the sorrow-edged guilt in his voice, the defeated slump of his shoulders. ‘Name one person you have hurt in a rage. Yes, you have a temper. But so do I. And like everyone else you control it.’

He lifted his gaze to her face, his eyes wide. ‘Don’t be blind, Ellie. Look what Le Clere did to your older brother, to my mother. Looked what I planned for your brother.’

‘Le Clere is a bad man. But he did nothing in a rage. He planned it. All of it. And he made you, a small boy, believe you were evil.’ She shook her head. ‘You had every right to be angry at William, but you never followed through with your plans. Think back, Garrick. Even when you had me at your mercy, when you discovered I was Lady Moonlight, you were furious. But you did nothing but help me. You were kind to me.’

‘That was different, chérie. I had other plans for you.’

The words struck a chord low in her belly and with it came flutters of desire, sparks of heat. She thought she might go up in flames. She fought to keep her voice full of reason, not passion. ‘People get angry and they do exactly what you do. They control it.’

The crease between his brows deepened. ‘Not always. I once came very close to murdering a man.’ His fists clenched. ‘I don’t know what would have happened if I hadn’t been stopped. It was what decided me to join the army.’

The starkness in his expression cut her to the quick. She had the feeling that if she showed the slightest doubt, he would leave, that she would never see him again. She had never feared him. Not for one moment. ‘Tell me what happened.’

His lips thinned. ‘I caught him beating a child. I lost all reason and attacked in a blind rage.’

‘This man, he was a scrawny fellow, begging for mercy while you attacked him, I suppose.’

‘God, no. He was a bruiser. Could have killed the boy with one blow. It took two fellows to hold him down after Harry pulled me off.’

‘Fisticuffs, then, between two equals. It sounds as if he deserved a taste of his own medicine. And yet you didn’t kill him.’

‘Don’t make light of it, Ellie. What if I hurt you? Or our child? How can I know for certain? You are better off without me.’

Her heart gave a little hop. Was this the reason for his withdrawal? Not his anger at being forced into marriage?

‘I know,’ she said firmly. She put a hand under his chin, drew his gaze up to meet hers. ‘I know you. I trust you.’

A smile dawned slowly. A smile full of hope as well as love. A smile that made her stomach tumble and her heart leap. ‘So, you are willing to take a chance on me?’

‘Of course.’ She put her heart and her soul into the words. ‘I love you.’

He leaned forwards and nibbled her neck. ‘Are you sure?’

The flutters tightened into yearning and arousal.

‘Absolutely certain.’ She punched his shoulder. ‘Take me to bed.’

‘Ouch!’ He leapt up. ‘No more of this abuse, beloved. And no more sitting in this freezing room. You have a child to consider. My child.’ The pride in his voice, and the joy in his face, sent a sweet pang to her heart.

He gazed into her eyes. ‘I know a place where you and I could be warm together. Will you come with me, my one and only love?’ He held out his hand and stood, hesitant, waiting for her reply.

Eleanor’s eyes misted. His love. At last he had called her his love.

‘Oh, Garrick. If only I had said yes, instead of sending you away, none of this would have happened.’ She blinked and swallowed the sob that threatened to choke her. ‘I was a coward. Afraid of making another mistake.’

He reached out and touched her cheek, catching, with his finger, one of the wayward tears. ‘You are the most courageous woman I know.’

So many things had got in the way of their love, her pride as well as his, but even as that regretful thought saddened her, a new enlightenment followed.

He would never be the wicked careless young man she had fallen for that summer so long ago, but it was this man, this battle-weary, hard man who now had the courage to bare his heart whom she loved. He was her own true love and the man she and her child needed, and in this man she was truly blessed.

She opened her arms. ‘Oh, Garrick, I love you so much, I always have. When I thought you were dead, if it hadn’t been for the child I would have died, too.’

‘Thank God for that, then,’ he said hoarsely. ‘Come with me, Ellie, wherever life takes us from this day forth.’ He enfolded her in his arms.

‘Yes, my love,’ she whispered against his lips.

He crushed her to him and kissed her mouth, the beat of his heart a rapid tattoo against her ribs. She melted against him and heard his deep sigh of relief as he picked her up and started for the staircase.

‘Welcome home, my wicked Marquess,’ she whispered.