Читать книгу Terms of Engagement - Ann Major - Страница 9

When they turned the corner and she saw the gaily lit restaurant, Kira wished with all her heart she’d never agreed to this dinner with Quinn.

Not that he hadn’t behaved like a perfect gentleman as they’d walked over together.

When she’d said she wanted to go somewhere within walking distance of his office, she’d foolishly thought she’d be safer with him on foot.

“You’re not afraid to get in my car, to be alone with me, are you?” he’d teased.

“It just seems simpler … to go somewhere close,” she’d hedged. “Besides, you’re a busy man.”

“Not too busy for what really matters.”

Then he’d suggested they walk along the river. The lovely reflections in the still, brown water where ducks swam and the companionable silences they’d shared as they’d made their way along the flagstones edged by lush vegetation, restaurants and bars had been altogether too enjoyable.

She’d never made a study of predators, but she had a cat, Rudy. When on the hunt, he was purposeful, diligent and very patient. He enjoyed playing with his prey before the kill, just to make the game last longer. She couldn’t help but think Quinn was doing something similar with her.

No sooner did Quinn push open the door so she could enter one of the most popular Mexican restaurants in all of San Antonio than warmth, vibrant laughter and the heavy beat of Latin music hit her.

A man, who was hurrying outside after a woman, said, “Oh, excuse us, please, miss.”

Quinn reached out and put his strong arm protectively around Kira’s waist, shielding her with his powerful body. Pulling her close, he tugged her to one side to let the other couple pass.

When Quinn’s body brushed against hers intimately, as if they were a couple, heat washed over her as it had the afternoon when she’d been muddy and he’d pulled her into his arms. She inhaled his clean, male scent. As before, he drew her like a sexual magnet.

When she let out an excited little gasp, he smiled and pulled her even closer. “You feel much too good,” he whispered.

She should run, but the March evening was cooler than she’d dressed for, causing her to instinctively cling to his hot, big-boned body and stay nestled against his welcoming warmth.

She felt the red scarf she wore around her neck tighten as if to warn her away. She yanked at it and gulped in a breath before she shoved herself free of him.

He laughed. “You’re not the only one who’s been stunned by our connection, you know. I like holding you as much as you like being in my arms. In fact, that’s all I want to do … hold you. Does that make me evil? Or all too human because I’ve found a woman I have no will to resist?”

“You are too much! Why did I let you talk me into this dinner?”

“Because it was the logical thing to do, and I insisted. Because I’m very good at getting what I want. Maybe because you wanted to. But now I’d be quite happy to skip dinner. We could order takeout and go to my loft apartment, which isn’t far, by the way. You’re a curator. I’m a collector. I have several pieces that might interest you.”

“I’ll bet! Not a good idea.”

Again he laughed.

She didn’t feel any safer once they were inside the crowded, brilliantly lit establishment. The restaurant with its friendly waitstaff, strolling mariachis, delicious aromas and ceiling festooned with tiny lights and colorful banners was too festive, too conducive to lowering one’s guard. It would be too easy to succumb to temptation, something she couldn’t afford to do.

I’ll have a taco, a glass of water. We’ll talk about Jaycee, and I’ll leave. What could possibly go wrong if I nip this attraction in the bud?

When told there was a thirty-minute wait, Quinn didn’t seem to mind. To the contrary, he seemed pleased. “We’ll wait in the bar,” he said, smiling.

Then he ushered them into a large room with a high-beamed ceiling dominated by a towering carved oak bar, inspired by the baroque elegance of the hotels in nineteenth-century San Antonio.

When a young redheaded waiter bragged on the various imported tequilas available, Quinn ordered them two margaritas made of a particularly costly tequila he said he had a weakness for.

“I’d rather have sparkling water,” she said, sitting up straighter, thinking she needed all her wits about her.

“As you wish,” Quinn said gallantly, ordering the water as well, but she noted that he didn’t cancel the second margarita.

When their drinks arrived, he lifted his margarita to his lips and licked at the salt that edged the rim. And just watching the movement of his tongue across the grit of those glimmering crystals flooded her with ridiculous heat as she imagined him licking her skin.

“I think our first dinner together calls for a toast, don’t you?” he said.

Her hand moved toward her glass of sparkling water.

“The tequila really is worth a taste.”

She looked into his eyes and hesitated. Almost without her knowing it, her hand moved slowly away from the icy glass of water to her chilled margarita glass.

“You won’t be sorry,” he promised in that silken baritone.

Toying with the slender green stem of her glass, she lifted it and then tentatively clinked it against his.

“To us,” he said. “To new beginnings.” He smiled benevolently, but his blue eyes were excessively brilliant.

Her first swallow of the margarita was salty, sweet and very strong. She knew she shouldn’t drink any more. Then, almost at once, a pleasant warmth buzzed through her, softening her attitude toward him and weakening her willpower. Somewhere the mariachis began to play “La Paloma,” a favorite love song of hers. Was it a sign?

“I’m glad you at least took a sip,” he said, his gaze lingering on her lips a second too long. “It would be a pity to miss tasting something so delicious.”

“You’re right. It’s really quite good.”

“The best—all the more reason not to miss it. One can’t retrace one’s journey in this life. We must make the most of every moment … because once lost, those moments are gone forever.”

“Indeed.” Eyeing him, she sipped again. “Funny, I hadn’t thought of you as a philosopher.”

“You might be surprised by who I really am, if you took the trouble to get to know me.”

“I doubt it.”

Every muscle in his handsome face tensed. When his eyes darkened, she wondered if she’d wounded him.

No. Impossible.

Her nerves jingled, urging her to consider just one more sip of the truly delicious margarita. What could it hurt? That second sip led to a third, then another and another, each sliding down her throat more easily than the last. She hardly noticed when Quinn moved from his side of the booth to hers, and yet how could she not notice? He didn’t touch her, yet it was thrilling to be so near him, to know that only their clothes separated her thigh from his, to wonder what he would do next.

His gaze never strayed from her. Focusing on her exclusively, he told her stories about his youth, about the time before his father had died. His father had played ball with him, he said, had taken him hunting and fishing, had helped him with his homework. He stayed off the grim subjects of his parents’ divorce and his father’s death.

“When school was out for any reason, he always took me to his office. He was determined to instill a work ethic in me.”

“He sounds like the perfect father,” she said wistfully. “I never seemed to be able to please mine. If he read to me, I fidgeted too much, and he would lose his place and his temper. If he took me fishing, I grew bored or hot and squirmed too much, kicking over the minnow bucket or snapping his line. Once I stood up too fast and turned the boat over.”

“Maybe I won’t take you fishing.”

“He always wanted a son, and I didn’t please Mother any better. She thought Jaycee, who loved to dress up and go to parties, was perfect. She still does. Neither of them like what I’m doing with my life.”

“Well, they’re not in control, are they? No one is, really. And just when we think we are, we usually get struck by a lightning bolt that shows us we’re not,” Quinn said in a silken tone that made her breath quicken. “Like tonight.”

“What do you mean?”

“Us.”

Her gaze fixed on his dimple. “Are you coming on to me?”

He laid his hand on top of hers. “Would that be so terrible?”

By the time they’d been seated at their dinner table and had ordered their meal, she’d lost all her fear of him. She was actually enjoying herself.

Usually, she dated guys who couldn’t afford to take her out to eat very often, so she cooked for them in her apartment. Even though this meal was not a date, it was nice to dine in a pleasant restaurant and be served for a change.

When Quinn said how sorry he was that they hadn’t met before that afternoon when he’d nearly run her down, she answered truthfully, “I thought you were marrying my sister solely to hurt all of us. I couldn’t condone that.”

He frowned. “And you love your sister so much, you came to my office today to try to find a way to stop me from marrying her.”

“I was a fool to admit that to you.”

“I think you’re sweet, and I admire your honesty. You were right to come. You did me one helluva favor. I’ve been on the wrong course. But I don’t want to talk about Jacinda. I want to talk about you.”

“But will you think about … not marrying her?”

When he nodded and said, “Definitely,” in a very convincing manner, she relaxed and took still another sip of her margarita with no more thoughts of how dangerous it might be for her to continue relaxing around him.

When he reached across the table and wrapped her hand in his warm, blunt fingers, the shock of his touch sent a wave of heat through her whole body. For a second, she entwined her fingers with his and clung as if he were a vital lifeline. Then, when she realized what she was doing, she wrenched her hand free.

“Why are you so afraid of me, Kira?”

“You might still marry Jaycee and ruin her life,” she lied.

“Impossible, now that I’ve met you.”

Kira’s breath quickened. Dimple or not, he was still the enemy. She had to remember that.

“Do you really think I’m so callous I could marry your sister when I want you so much?”

“But what are you going to do about Jaycee?”

“I told you. She became irrelevant the minute I saw you standing inside my office this afternoon.”

“She’s beautiful … and blonde.”

“Yes, but your beauty affects me more. Don’t you know that?”

She shook her head. “The truth isn’t in you. You only date blondes.”

“Then it must be time for a change.”

“I’m going to confess a secret wish. All my life I wished I was blonde … so I’d look more like the rest of my family, especially my mother and my sister. I thought maybe then I’d feel like I belonged.”

“You are beautiful.”

“A man like you would say anything …”

“I’ve never lied to any woman. Don’t you know how incredibly lovely you are? With your shining dark eyes that show your sweet, pure soul every time you look at me and defend your sister? I feel your love for her rushing through you like liquid electricity. You’re graceful. You move like a ballerina. I love the way you feel so intensely and blush when you think I might touch you.”

“Like a child.”

“No. Like a responsive, passionate woman. I like that … too much. And your hair … it’s long and soft and shines like chestnut satin. Yet there’s fire in it. I want to run my hands through it.”

“But we hardly know one another. And I’ve hated you …

“None of the Murrays have been favorites of mine either … but I’m beginning to see the error of my ways. And I don’t think you hate me as much as you pretend.”

Kira stared at him, searching his hard face for some sign that he was lying to her, seducing her as he’d seduced all those other women, saying these things because he had some dark agenda. All she saw was warmth and honesty and intense emotion. Nobody had ever looked at her with such hunger or made her feel so beautiful.

All her life she’d wanted someone to make her feel this special. It was ironic that Quinn Sullivan should be the one.

“I thought you were so bad, no … pure evil,” she repeated.

His eyebrows arched. “Ouch.”

If he’d been twisted in his original motives, maybe it had been because of the grief he’d felt at losing someone he loved.

“How could I have been so wrong about you?” Even as she said it, some part of her wondered if she weren’t being naive. He had dated, and jilted, all those beautiful women. He had intended to take revenge on her father and use her sister in his plan. Maybe when she’d walked into his office she’d become part of his diabolical plan, too.

“I was misguided,” he said.

“I need more time to think about all this. Like I said … a mere hour or two ago I heartily disliked you. Or at least I thought I did.”

“Because you didn’t know me. Hell, maybe I didn’t know me either … because everything is different now, since I met you.”

She felt the same way. But she knew she should slow it down, reassess.

“I’m not good at picking boyfriends,” she whispered.

“Their loss.”

His hand closed over hers and he pressed her fingers, causing a melting sensation in her tummy. “My gain.”

Her tacos came, looking and smelling delicious, but she hardly touched them. Her every sense was attuned to Quinn’s carved features and his beautiful voice.

When a musician came to their table, Quinn hired him to sing several songs, including “La Paloma.” While the man serenaded her, Quinn idly stroked her wrist and the length of her fingers, causing fire to shoot down her spine.

She met his eyes and felt that she had known him always, that he was already her lover, her soul mate. She was crazy to feel such things and think such thoughts about a man she barely knew, but when dinner was over, they skipped dessert.

An hour later, she sat across from him in his downtown loft, sipping coffee while he drank brandy. In vain, she tried to act unimpressed by his art collection and sparkling views of the city. Not easy, since both were impressive.

His entrance was filled with an installation of crimson light by one of her favorite artists. The foyer was a dazzling ruby void that opened into a living room with high, white ceilings. All the rooms of his apartment held an eclectic mix of sculpture, porcelains and paintings.

Although she hadn’t yet complimented his stylish home, she couldn’t help but compare her small, littered apartment to his spacious one. Who was she to label him an arrogant upstart? He was a success in the international oil business and a man of impeccable taste, while she was still floundering in her career and struggling to find herself.

“I wanted to be alone with you like this the minute I saw you today,” he said.

She shifted uneasily on his cream-leather sofa. Yet more evidence that he was a planner. “Well, I didn’t.”

“I think you did. You just couldn’t let yourself believe you did.”

“No,” she whispered, setting down her cup. With difficulty she tried to focus on her mission. “So, what about Jaycee? You’re sure that’s over?”

“Finished. From the first moment I saw you.”

“Without mud all over my face.”

He laughed. “Actually, you got to me that day, too. Every time I dined with Jacinda and your family, I kept hoping I’d meet you again.”

Even as she remembered all those dinner invitations her parents had extended and she’d declined, she couldn’t believe he was telling the truth.

“I had my team research you,” he said.

“Why?”

“I asked myself the same question. I think you intrigued me … like I said, even with mud on your face. First thing tomorrow, I will break it off with Jacinda formally. Which means you’ve won. Does that make you happy? You have what you came for.”

He was all charm, especially his warm, white smile. Like a child with a new playmate, she was happy just being with him, but she couldn’t admit that to him.

He must have sensed her feelings, though, because he got up and moved silently toward her. “I feel like I’ve lived my whole life since my father’s death alone—until you. And that’s how I wanted to live—until you.”

She knew it was sudden and reckless, but she felt the same way. If she wasn’t careful, she would forget all that should divide them.

As if in a dream, she took his hand when he offered it and kissed his fingers with feverish devotion.

“You’ve made me realize how lonely I’ve been,” he said.

“That’s a very good line.”

“It’s the truth.”

“But you are so successful, while I …”

“Look what you’re doing in the interim—helping a friend to realize her dream.”

“My father says I’m wasting my potential.”

“You will find yourself … if you are patient.” He cupped her chin and stared into her eyes. Again she felt that uncanny recognition. He was a kindred soul who knew what it was to feel lost.

“Dear God,” he muttered. “Don’t listen to me. I don’t know a damn thing about patience. Like now … I should let you go … but I can’t.”

He pulled her to him and crushed her close. It wasn’t long before holding her wasn’t enough. He had to have her lips, her throat, her breasts. She felt the same way. Shedding her shirt, scarf and bra, she burst into flame as he kissed her. Even though she barely knew him, she could not wait another moment to belong to him.

“I’m not feeling so patient right now myself,” she admitted huskily.

Do not give yourself to this man, said an inner voice. Remember all those blondes. Remember his urge for revenge.

Even as her emotions spiraled out of control, she knew she was no femme fatale, while he was a devastatingly attractive man. Had he said all these same wonderful things to all those other women he’d bedded? Had he done and felt all the same things, too, a thousand times before? Were nights like this routine for him, while he was the first to make her feel so thrillingly alive?

But then his mouth claimed hers again, and again, with a fierce, wild hunger that made her forget her doubts and shake and cling to him. His kisses completed her as she’d never been completed before. He was a wounded soul, and she understood his wounds. How could she feel so much when they hadn’t even made love?

Lifting her into his arms, he carried her into his vast bedroom, which was bathed in silver moonlight. Over her shoulder she saw his big, black bed in the middle of an ocean of white marble and Persian carpets.

He was a driven, successful billionaire, and she was a waitress. Feeling out of her depth, her nerves returned. Not knowing what else to do, she pressed a fingertip to his lips. Gently, shyly, she traced his dimple.

Feeling her tension, he set her down. She pushed against his chest and then took a step away from him. Watching her, he said, “You can finish undressing in the bathroom if you’d prefer privacy. Or we can stop. I’ll drive you to your car. Your choice.”

She should have said, “I don’t belong here with you,” and accepted his gallant offer. Instead, without a word, she scampered toward the door he’d indicated. Alone in his beige marble bathroom with golden fixtures and a lovely, compelling etching by another one of her favorite artists, she barely recognized her own flushed face, tousled hair and sparkling eyes.

The radiant girl in his tall mirror was as beautiful as an enchanted princess. She looked expectant, excited. Maybe she did belong here with him. Maybe he was the beginning of her new life, the first correct step toward the bright future that had so long eluded her.

When she tiptoed back into the bedroom, wearing nothing but his white robe, he was in bed. She couldn’t help admiring the width of his bronzed shoulders as he leaned back against several plumped pillows. She had never dated anyone half so handsome; she’d never felt anything as powerful as the glorious heady heat that suffused her entire being as his blue eyes studied her hungrily. Still, she was nervy, shaking.

“I’m no good at sex,” she said. “You’re probably very good … Of course you are. You’re good at everything.”

“Come here,” he whispered.

“But …”

“Just come to me. You could not possibly delight me more. Surely you know that.”

Did he really feel as much as she did?

Removing his bathrobe, she flew to him before she lost her nerve, fell into his bed and into his arms, consumed by forces beyond her control. Nothing mattered but sliding against his long body, being held close in his strong arms. Beneath the covers, his heat was delicious and welcoming as she nestled against him.

He gave her a moment to settle before he rolled on top of her. Bracing himself with his elbows against the mattress, so as not to crush her, he kissed her lips, her cheeks, her brows and then her eyelids with urgent yet featherlike strokes. Slowly, gently, each kiss was driving her mad.

“Take me,” she whispered, in the grip of a fever such as she’d never experienced before. “I want you inside me. Now.”

“I know,” he said, laughing. “I’m as ravenous as you are. But have patience, darlin’.”

“You have a funny way of showing your hunger.”

“If I do what you ask, it would be over in a heartbeat. This moment, our first time together, is too special to me.”

Was she special?

“We must savor it, draw it out, make it last,” he said.

“Maybe I want it to be over swiftly,” she begged. “Maybe this obsessive need is unbearable.”

“Exquisite expectation?”

“I can’t stand it.”

“And I want to heighten it. Which means we’re at cross-purposes.”

He didn’t take her. With infinite care and maddening patience he adored her with his clever mouth and skilled hands. His fevered lips skimmed across her soft skin, raising goose bumps in secret places. As she lay beneath him, he licked each nipple until it grew hard, licked her navel until he had all her nerve endings on fire for him. Then he kissed her belly and dived even lower to explore those hidden, honey-sweet lips between her legs. When she felt his tongue dart inside, she gasped and drew back.

“Relax,” he whispered.

With slow, hot kisses, he made her gush. All too soon her embarrassment was gone, and she was melting, shivering, whimpering—all but begging him to give her release.

Until tonight she had been an exile in the world of love. With all other men, not that there had been that many, she had been going through the motions, playing a part, searching always for something meaningful and never finding it.

Until now, tonight, with him.

He couldn’t matter this much! She couldn’t let this be more than fierce, wild sex. He, the man, couldn’t matter. But her building emotions told her that he did matter—in ways she’d never imagined possible before.

He took her breast in his mouth and suckled again. Then his hand entered her heated wetness, making her gasp helplessly and plead. When he stroked her, his fingers sliding against that secret flesh, she arched against his expert touch, while her breath came in hard, tortured pants.

Just when she didn’t think she could bear it any longer, he dragged her beneath him and slid inside her. He was huge, massive, wonderful. Crying out, she clung to him and pushed her pelvis against his, aching for him to fill her even more deeply. “Yes! Yes!”

When he sank deeper, ever deeper, she moaned. For a long moment he held her and caressed her. Then he began to plunge in and out, slowly at first. Her rising pleasure carried her and shook her in sharp, hot waves, causing her to climax and scream his name.

He went crazy when she dug her nails in his shoulder. Then she came again, and again, sobbing. She had no idea how many climaxes she had before she felt his hard loins bunch as he exploded.

Afterward, sweat dripped off his brow. His whole body was flushed, burning up, and so was hers.

“Darlin’ Kira,” he whispered in that husky baritone that could still make her shiver even when she was spent. “Darlin’ Kira.”

For a long time, she lay in his arms, not speaking, feeling too weak to move any part of her body. Then he leaned over and nibbled at her bottom lip.

The second time he made love to her, he did so with a reverent gentleness that made her weep and hold on to him for a long time afterward. He’d used a condom the second time, causing her to realize belatedly that he hadn’t the first time.

How could they have been so careless? She had simply been swept away. Maybe he had, too. Well, it was useless to worry about that now. Besides, she was too happy, too relaxed to care about anything except being in his arms. There was no going back.

For a long time they lay together, facing each other while they talked. He told her about his father’s financial crisis and how her father had turned on him and made things worse. He spoke of his mother’s extravagance and betrayal and his profound hurt that his world had fallen apart so quickly and brutally. She listened as he explained how grief, poverty and helplessness had twisted him and made him hard.

“Love made me too vulnerable, as it did my father. It was a destructive force. My father loved my mother, and it ruined him. She was greedy and extravagant,” he said. “Love destroys the men in our family.”

“If you don’t want to love, why did you date all those women I read about?”

“I wasn’t looking for love, and neither were they.”

“You were just using them, then?”

“They were using me, too.”

“That’s so cynical.”

“That’s how my life has been. I loved my father so much, and I hurt so much when he died, I gave up on love. He loved my mother, and she broke his heart with her unrelenting demands. When he lost the business, she lost interest in him and began searching for a richer man.”

“And did she find him?”

“Several.”

“Do you ever see her?”

“No. I was an accident she regretted, I believe. She couldn’t relate to children, and after I was grown, I had no interest in her. Love, no matter what kind, always costs too much. I do write her a monthly check, however.”

“So, my father was only part of your father’s problem.”

“But a big part. Losing ownership in Sullivan and Murray Oil made my father feel like he was less than nothing. My mother left him because of that loss. She stripped him of what little wealth and self-esteem he had left. Alone, without his company or his wife, he grew depressed. He wouldn’t eat. He couldn’t sleep. I’d hear the stairs creak as he paced at night.

“Then early one morning I heard a shot. When I called his name, he didn’t answer. I found him in the shop attached to our garage. In a pool of blood on the floor, dead. I still don’t know if it was an accident or … what I feared it was. He was gone. At first I was frightened. Then I became angry. I wanted to blame someone, to get even, to make his death right. I lived for revenge. But now that I’ve almost achieved my goal of taking back Murray Oil, it’s as if my fever’s burned out.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that,” she teased, touching his damp brow.

“I mean my fever for revenge, which was what kept me going.”

“So,” she asked, “what will you live for now?”

“I don’t know. I guess a lot of people just wake up in the morning and go to work, then come home at night and drink while they flip channels with their remote.”

“Not you.”

“Who’s to say? Maybe such people are lucky. At least they’re not driven by hate, as I was.”

“I can’t even begin to imagine what that must have felt like for you.” She’d always been driven by the need for love.

When he stared into her eyes with fierce longing, she pulled him close and ran her hands through his hair. “You are young yet. You’ll find something to give your life meaning,” she said.

“Well, it won’t be love, because I’ve experienced love’s dark side for too many years. I want you to know that. You are special, but I can’t ever love you, no matter how good we are together. I’m no longer capable of that emotion.”

“So you keep telling me,” she said, pretending his words didn’t hurt.

“I just want to be honest.”

“Do we always know our own truths?”

“Darlin’,” he whispered. “Forgive me if I sounded too harsh. It’s just that … I don’t want to hurt you by raising your expectations about something I’m incapable of. Other women have become unhappy because of the way I am.”

“You’re my family’s enemy. Why would I ever want to love you?”

Wrapping her legs around him, she held him for hours, trying to comfort the boy who’d lost so much as well as the angry man who’d gained a fortune because he’d been consumed by a fierce, if misplaced, hatred.

“My father had nothing to do with your father’s death,” she whispered. “He didn’t.”

“You have your view, and I have mine,” he said. “The important thing is that I don’t hold you responsible for your father’s sins any longer.”

“Don’t you?”

“No.”

After that, he was silent. Soon afterward he let her go and rolled onto his side.

She lay awake for hours. Where would they go from here? He had hated her family for years. Had he really let go of all those harsh feelings? Had she deluded herself into thinking he wasn’t her enemy?

What price would she pay for sleeping with a man who probably only saw her as an instrument for revenge?