Читать книгу Raven's Soul. Volume 2 - Анна Морион - Страница 5

Chapter 5

POV Derek

– We hadn't heard from them in a long time. Just one letter, and in it three words, "Everything is fine"… Don't they have any time at all to write more than those three words? For example, how is their health? What difficulties have they encountered? – I said tiredly to my mother when she came into my chambers to read the Bible to me.

Leaving my bed, in defiance of my mother's wailing, I paced from corner to corner of my huge royal bedchamber. I was terribly tired of hiding from everyone and not even going out into the corridor, the dining room or the garden. Yes, I'm poisoned, and my strength is failing me, but damn it, I'm still alive and I'm sure I'll last until my consort returns from her journey. Of course, if she comes back at all: her journey is dangerous, the herbs she needs are guarded by terrible monsters, and she's taken a court healer to help her fight them! Would he be able to save her from death?

"Where are they now? What are they doing? Why don't they report themselves and their journey? What if Sylvia simply ran away with that handsome young healer?" – That last question got me thinking, and I stopped in the middle of the room, shifting my gaze to the woman who had given me life, searching for an answer.

– Leave the worry, my son. Perhaps they don't have the ability to write long letters. Do not forget that their journey is long and thorny, and the poison still poisons your body and mind. – Mother rose from her wooden, velvet-covered chair and approached me. We stared into each other's eyes in silence for a while, but then she continued. – That's not what you're worried about, is it? I can see the pain and jealousy and doubt in your eyes. Ever since Sylvia left with the court physician, it's as if you've withdrawn into yourself.

– You are right as always, Mother," I said quietly. It was useless to resist: she always knows what's in my heart. – He is young, clever, handsome, well-bred… Why did she choose him for the journey? She could have said "No" and asked for any other warrior to be her companion… They don't even know each other. How can you trust your life to a man you don't know?

– He is a healer, my son. Who else can you trust with your life but him? Leave your doubts. – Mother gently touched her palm to my cheek and stroked it with her thumb. – Sylvia is your lawful wife, both on earth and in heaven and under the earth. You shouldn't think she betrayed you for someone else. That's not nice.

– You're right, but I can't help it. – Carefully removing and kissing her palm and, I stepped back to the opposite wall and covered my face with my hands. – All these days I have been trying to make sense of myself. Tell me: is it possible to love and hate at the same time? – I asked with a bitter laugh, taking my hands off my face and looking at my mother.

– What do you mean? I don't understand. – My mother's face was troubled.

– I don't understand anything either! – I laughed, but it was a nervous laugh. – Whenever Sylvia is near me, my heart skips a beat. I'm irresistibly attracted to her. But as soon as she escapes my gaze, I begin to wonder how sincere my feelings for her and her feelings for me are, how I hate demons… I miss her, I worry, but at the same time I realize that we are too different and alien to each other, that there should be anything but love between us.

– My dear, I have no answer to your question. – Mother shook her head negatively and headed toward the door. – I can only assume that you cannot forgive each other's mistakes, that you cannot forget your past and the war between your kingdoms. Hence the hatred. Love, on the other hand… It comes at the most unexpected moment. Perhaps you are attracted by Lucifer's mark, or maybe it is a real feeling… I am not given such knowledge, my son. I'm afraid not even God himself can give you the answer.

– In that case, what should I do?

– Just go on living. It doesn't matter what's going on between you, as long as you're happy together. Isn't it? – Mother opened the door, but suddenly slammed it shut again and looked at me. Her beautiful eyebrows were furrowed. – On your wedding day… You took her by force, didn't you? – The question sounded very quiet, but I heard it.

– Yes. It was intact. I didn't know and I shouldn't have acted like a beast. But the wine and anger took away my mind. It's my fault, and I'm not going to look for false reasons to clear my name of this disgrace," I admitted, bowing my head in shame.

– Don't ever do that to your wife again, under any circumstances. She forgave you once, though she shouldn't have… If you do it again, she'll turn into the one you hate so much, my son… A demoness. – Mother closed the door behind her, and I was alone with my thoughts.

Why would she bring that up? Why did she suddenly decide to bring it up? Had she been concerned about the incident for a long time and now that we were talking about Sylvia, she wanted to give me a motherly instruction? There was nothing wrong with that, but I would prefer to put that low act behind me.

At the moment, I was burdened with other thoughts: right now, my wife was sourcing the ingredients for an antidote to save my life at the risk of her own, and I dared to doubt her sincerity. How low I have fallen. After what I did to her and her people, another woman would have just let me die. What keeps Sylvia close to a man like me? Or does it? Could it be that she is already far from Kaldwind and melting in the arms of a handsome healer?

"Just don't think about it, Derek. Think of the good things. Worry makes your hair fall out and your bones break" – A familiar lazy voice suddenly sounded in my mind, making me smile. Well, the big cat was right: why suffer and kill myself with jealousy when I don't know anything yet?

My body felt incredibly tired, and I hurried to the bed. My legs were groggy as if I were drunk, the floor floated beneath my feet, and the surrounding objects lost their shape. It was the effect of the poison, and I was familiar with this strange condition, and more than once. Fortunately, I managed to get to the bed, and falling on the featherbed, I fell into darkness.

I woke up to what seemed to me to be someone standing over my bed, watching me intently. Rising up on my elbows, I looked around the room carefully, but saw no one. I didn't notice any suspicious objects or any changes either. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, I rubbed my temples with my fingers, glanced out the window, and was unpleasantly surprised to find that it was already dark. I'd never fallen asleep during the day before; the poison spreading through my body must be stealing a lot of my strength and vitality. Something must be done about it, because if this continues, everyone will notice that the king is sick. That's when all coups usually happen. I'd hate to be slaughtered in my sleep in my own bed.

There was a knock at the door, and I quickly grabbed a book on battle tactics from the bedside table to pretend I was engrossed in its contents. I couldn't let rumors of my illness spread throughout the palace.

– Come in! – I commanded.

Andrada appeared at the door a few seconds later, and I felt relieved. She was holding a tray with a small jar of some unknown liquid and a tiny silver casket. She must have found a way to slow the effects of the poison, as promised. Andrada came over to me and sat down on the edge of the bed, placing the tray on her lap.

– My king, I have prepared some herbal pills that will keep you on your feet for as long as possible during the day, and this decoction of snake skin will slow the effects of the poison. Perhaps we'll gain a week or more," she said in an even tone, but I noticed that her eyes were full of sadness and glistened brightly, as if she had recently shed a few tears.

– Thank you, I am indebted to you. – Before, I had always seen a "stone" lady, but now in front of me sat a completely different Andrada, and this circumstance extremely surprised me. – Has something happened? Did someone hurt you?

– It's fine, Your Majesty, don't worry. – Noticing my gaze, Andrada smiled indulgently as if trying to deceive my suspicions. – It was just a flake in my eye while I was preparing the potion.

– If you say so. You don't have to explain yourself to me," I mumbled, and looked away so as not to make her uncomfortable.

– Allow me. – Wrapping her fingers around my chin, Andrada lifted my face and took one of the pills with her other hand and pushed it gently into my mouth, barely touching my lips with her fingers.

– I can take my own medicine, Andrada," I said calmly, but I felt discontent in my heart: she was shoving the pill into me as if I were a cripple with no strength to lift my arms.

– I know. I am only looking out for you, my king," Andrada replied in the same calm tone.

We stared at each other, and I could have sworn she was embarrassed for a moment. A few months ago I would have possessed this girl without a second thought, but now other women were indifferent to me. I saw no one but my spouse. Her skin. Her hair. She was my opium that I had not desired but had been forced to take and now I could no longer refuse. I'm drawn to Sylvia, and only to her.

– Thank you for your help, Andrada," I said, and leaned my head back against the tall, soft pillows. I was embarrassed, and I wished the sorceress would leave me, but I valued her too highly to dismiss her as some kind of delinquent servant.

– You're welcome, my king. I am only doing my duty. – Andrada's face became "stone" again. The old Andrada was with me now, and I must admit that I liked her much better.

There are many people in the palace who try to please me. Every time I pass by, they smile at me and greet me according to their status. Most of them try to make conversation with me, to solve state affairs with me, to discuss important issues, but there are also those who just fawn over me, interfering with my work or trying to put one of their daughters under me, even if this girl will later have the unenviable status of a mistress. The funny thing about all this is that I was aware of the discontent among the palace nobles and the unrest among the townspeople. Every other citizen of Kaldwind, if not wanting to kill me, was at least waiting for someone to decide to do so. For reasons I understand, shortly after King Juris' death and my coronation, foul rumors spread throughout the kingdom that I had usurped the throne, but that was not the case. King Juris himself handed over the throne to me, and for good reason. I had never thought that fate had such a good sense of humor: putting a man born to clutch weapons, kill and command vultures on the throne of Kaldwind instead of a refined princess who had been prepared from childhood to be a future queen, who had been taught manners… I had to think of such a thing.

Andrada, on the other hand, has always been special to me. Real, sincere, loyal. She followed me everywhere like a shadow and never turned her back on me. If I was wrong, she always spoke her mind openly, and on the contrary, if I did the right thing, she always supported me. Always cold, reserved, fair, that's how I saw her every day. And even now, like a faithful dog, she sat by my bedside and tried to lick my wounds. If I'd been more careful, she wouldn't have had to do this kind of thing again.

– Don't you think sometimes you do too much for me and this kingdom? Your home is Emmerlend, but even for Emmerlend you do far less than you do for Kaldwind," I asked Andrada, looking at her beautiful, calm face again.

– I don't know what to tell you. – The sorceress lowered her head and must have been deep in thought. – Emmerlend is my homeland, but I have lived in Kaldwind for many years. I live here, work here, and experience things I've never known before. Sometimes I feel as if Emmerlend were a complete stranger to me.

– That's it," I grinned. – I, too, sometimes feel like I belong somewhere far away from the walls of Sturfjell.

– No, you belong here. You're just not used to the burden King Juris has placed on you," Andrada grinned, too.

– This throne should have gone to Hedda. She is the rightful heir, and I was just there when I shouldn't have been. – Barely opening my eyes, I got out of bed and offered my hand to Andrada to help her up. I had no energy left for conversation, so I decided to send her away after all.

– I believe the throne is yours by right. Would Her Highness' fragile shoulders bear the burden? Would she be able to lead the people in the war against the demons? At best, she would make them busy romantic armor, and then victory could only come if Rossi died laughing. – Taking the hint and placing her palm in mine, the magician rose and couldn't contain her smile.

A moment later, the room erupted in our laughter. It had been a long time since we'd laughed like that together, but sometimes it was good for us. The feeling that there was someone else in the chambers besides us faded away, and I even began to forget about the unpleasant awakening. It was a good thing that I had met such loyal friends and helpers as Bergil and Andrada, without whom I would have become an unfeeling fool long ago.