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1 1 See Eliot Deutsch, “On Creative Friendship,” in The Changing Face of Friendship, ed. Leroy S. Rouner (Notre Dame: University of Notre Dame Press, 1994), 17.

2 2 Isidore, “Book X,” in The Etymologies of Isidore of Seville, ed. Stephen A. Barney, et al. (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2006), 213, A.4. Isidore, bishop of Seville (c. 560–636) compiled this work between c. 615 and the early 630s. Further, Isidore identifies amicus as being derived from hook (hamas), “that is, from the chain of charity, whence also hooks are things that hold” (A.4).

3 3 Brian Patrick McGuire, Friendship and Community: The Monastic Experience, 350–1250, 2nd ed. (Ithaca: Cornell University Press, 2010), xv.

4 4 Liz Spencer and Ray Pahl, Rethinking Friendship: Hidden Solidarities Today (Princeton: Princeton University Press, 2006), 60–71.

5 5 Joan Walsh Anglund, A Friend is Someone Who Likes You (New York: Harcourt, 1958).

6 6 Pope Francis, Encyclical Letter Fratelli Tutti of the Holy Father Francis on the Fraternity and Social Friendship (2020), 25.

7 7 Francis, Fratelli Tutti, 25, 27.

8 8 Agbonkhianmeghe E. Orobator, “‘Fratelli Tutti’ is Ubuntu by any other name,” https://www.ncronline.org/news/opinion/fratelli-tutti-ubuntu-any-other-name. Accessed 6 October 2020.

9 9 Sibyl A. Schwarzenbach, “Fraternity, Solidarity, and Civic Friendship,” AMITY 3, no. 1 (2015): 11.

10 10 Danielle S. Allen, Talking to Strangers: Anxieties of Citizenship since Brown v. Board of Education (Chicago: The University of Chicago Press, 2004), xxi.

11 11 In the provision of services for those with disabilities, the intellectually handicapped, the mentally ill, the emphasis is typically on independence rather than friendship. Yet there are exceptions, as can be seen in the work of John Swinton.

12 12 See B. Beer, “Friendship, Anthropology of,” in International Encyclopedia of the Social & Behavioral Sciences, ed. Neil J. Smelser and Paul B. Baltes (Amsterdam: Elsevier, 2001).

13 13 Agnes Brandt, Among Friends? On the Dynamics of Māori-Pākehā Relationships in Aotearoa New Zealand (Göttingen: V&R Unipress, 2013), 16.

14 14 Brandt, Among Friends?, 16.

15 15 Brandt, Among Friends?, 17.

16 16 Brandt, Among Friends?, 25.

17 17 John Terrell, A Talent for Friendship: Rediscovery of a Remarkable Trait (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2014), 3.

18 18 Terrell, A Talent for Friendship, 5.

19 19 Terrell, A Talent for Friendship, 17.

20 20 This fact flies in the face of centuries of the widespread prejudice which perceives New Guinea as a place where savage violence, treachery, cannibalism, and warfare predominate.

21 21 Terrell, A Talent for Friendship, 93.

22 22 Speaking of a view of human origins derived from Genesis 2, Terrell observes: “It is not surprising that Enlightenment thinkers would take it as read that human beings living in a state of nature would be able to survive as solitary forest creatures or as close-knit families on their own divorced from any need to associate with other people. After all, hadn’t this first couple done so quite handily?” Terrell, A Talent for Friendship, 14, 190.

23 23 Terrell, A Talent for Friendship, 14.

24 24 Georg Simmel and Everett C. Hughes, “The Sociology of Sociability,” American Journal of Sociology 55, no. 3 (1949): 257.

25 25 Georg Simmel, “The Sociology of Secrecy and of Secret Societies,” American Journal of Sociology 11, no. 4 (1906): 458.

26 26 Simmel, “The Sociology of Secrecy and of Secret Societies,” 458.

27 27 Graham Allan and Rebecca G. Adams, “The Sociology of Friendship,” in 21st Century Sociology: A Reference Handbook, ed. Clifton D. Bryant and Dennis L. Peck (Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage, 2007), 123.

28 28 Ray Pahl, On Friendship (Malden: Blackwell, 2000), 36. The analysis of friendship continues to be marginal in mainstream sociology. See Alice P. Julier, Eating Together: Food, Friendship, and Inequality (Urbana: University of Illinois Press, 2013), 2.

29 29 See Sara H. Konrath, Edward H. O’Brien, and Courtney Hsing, “Changes in Dispositional Empathy in American College Students Over Time: A Meta-Analysis,” Personality and Social Psychology Review 15, no. 2 (2011).

30 30 Miller McPherson, Lynn Smith-Lovin, and Matthew E. Brashears, “Social Isolation in America: Changes in Core Discussion Networks over Two Decades,” ASR 71, no. 3 (2006).

31 31 Anthony Paik and Kenneth Sanchagrin, “Social Isolation in America: An Artifact,” ASR 78, no. 3 (2013): 339. Ivaylo Petev’s research corroborates these trends of civic disengagement and social isolation. Ivaylo D. Petev, “The Association of Social Class and Lifestyles: Persistence in American Sociability, 1974 to 2010,” ASR 78, no. 4 (2013). However, Anthony Paik and Kenneth Sanchagrin assert that interviewer effects, including interviewer training and interviewer fatigue, bias many estimates of social connectivity. See Paik and Sanchagrin, “Social Isolation in America: An Artifact,” 353–355.

32 32 Ray Pahl and Liz Spencer, “Family, Friends, and Personal Communities: Changing Models‐in‐the‐Mind,” Journal of Family Theory & Review 2, no. 3 (2010): 197.

33 33 Liz Spencer and Ray Pahl, Rethinking Friendship: Hidden Solidarities Today, 190–212.

34 34 Pahl, On Friendship, 43.

35 35 Pahl, On Friendship, 73.

36 36 Pahl, On Friendship, 64.

37 37 Frank Bruni, “How Facebook Warps Our Worlds,” The New York Times, 21 May 2016.

38 38 Diane Jeske, Friendship and Social Media: A Philosophical Exploration (New York: Routledge, 2019), 133.

39 39 The widespread usage of smart phones and social media has had a further benefit, in that these forms of technology have enabled the capture and sharing of life-threatening (or life-ending) acts of injustice, allowing citizens to see racial disparities and police brutality with their own eyes and provoking citizens to engage in acts of solidarity. See Walker-Barnes, Voices of My People, 21. On the other hand, widespread sharing can also have a retraumatizing impact.

40 40 Mark Zuckerberg, “Is Connectivity a Human Right,” https://www.facebook.com/isconnectivityahumanright. Accessed 4 October, 2021.

41 41 “Facebook Investor Relations,” https://investor.fb.com/resources/default.aspx. Accessed 4 October 2021.

42 42 Jill Lepore, “Facebook’s Broken Vows: How the Company’s Pledge to bring the World Together Wound Up Pulling Us Apart,” New Yorker, https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2021/08/02/facebooks-broken-vows. Accessed 4 October 2021.

43 43 Lepore, “Facebook’s Broken Vows,” 4 October 2021.

44 44 See Jeske, Friendship and Social Media.

45 45 John Fitzgerald, “Christian Friendship: John, Paul, and the Philippians,” Interpretation 61, no. 3 (2007): 284.

46 46 Fleming Rutledge, The Battle for Middle-Earth: Tolkien’s Divine Design in The Lord of the Rings (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 2004), 6, 30.

47 47 Rutledge, Battle, 78.

48 48 Rutledge, Battle, 115. “I think, Elrond, that in this matter it would be well to trust to their friendship rather than to great wisdom.” Merry tells Frodo: “You can trust us to stick to you through thick and thin – to the bitter end. And you can trust us to keep any secret of yours – closer than you keep it yourself. But you cannot trust us to let you face trouble alone and go off without a word. We are your friends, Frodo…” J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring: Being the First Part of The Lord of the Rings (Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 1954), 103. Friendships (characterized by loyalty, courage, honesty, and hospitality, along with shared insight, interests, and vision) also feature in C.S. Lewis’s Chronicles of Narnia, originally published in the 1950s.

49 49 Rutledge, Battle, 115.

50 50 Texts focused on love of neighbor include Leviticus 19:18, Matthew 5:43, Romans 13:9, Galatians 5:14, and James 2:8.

51 51 Karl Barth, Ethics, trans. Geoffrey W. Bromiley (New York: Seabury, 1981), 189.

52 52 Barth, Ethics, 189, 190.

53 53 Emil Brunner, The Divine Imperative: A Study in Christian Ethics, trans. Olive Wyon (London: Lutterworth, 1937), 517.

54 54 Anders Nygren, Agape and Eros, trans. A.G. Hebert (London: SPCK, 1932), ch. 8.

55 55 Nygren, Agape and Eros, 138.

56 56 Alan Vincelette, “Introduction,” in The Problem of Love in the Middle Ages: A Historical Contribution, ed. Pierre Rousselot (Milwaukee: Marquette University Press, 2001), 11.

57 57 Nygren, Agape and Eros, ch. 8.

58 58 See Martin Marty, “F is for Friendship: A Theological Dictionary,” The Christian Century, 24 February 2009.

59 59 John Burnaby, Amor Dei: A Study of the Religion of St. Augustine (London: Hodder & Stoughton, 1938), 311. Yet depicting God as a cozy and tolerant companion, thus trivializing what could otherwise be a transformative relationship, is identified as kitsch piety.

60 60 Simone Weil, “Friendship,” in Waiting for God (New York: HarperCollins, 1951).

61 61 Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Ethics [“Ethik”], trans. Neville Horton Smith (London: SCM, 1955), 253 n.1.

62 62 Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Letters and Papers from Prison, 3rd ed. (London: SCM, 1971), 192.

63 63 Reformed understandings of the moral or ethical life focused on family, work, the state, and church. Liz Carmichael, Friendship: Interpreting Christian Love (London: T&T Clark, 2004), 160.

64 64 Bonhoeffer, Letters and Papers from Prison, 192–193.

65 65 Carmichael, Friendship, 161.

66 66 Bonhoeffer, Ethics, 253 n.1.

67 67 C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves (London: Geoffrey Bles, 1960), 69–70.

68 68 Lewis, The Four Loves, 84.

69 69 See Jason Lepojärvi, “Does Eros Seek Happiness? A Critical Analysis of C. S. Lewis’s Reply to Anders Nygren,” Neue Zeitschrift Für Systematische Theologie Und Religionsphilosophie 53, no. 2 (2011): 210.

70 70 See Risto Saarinen, “Eros and Protestantism: From Nygren to Milbank,” in Gudstankens aktualitet: Bidrag om teologiens opgave og indhold og protestantismens indre spændinger, ed. E. Wiberg Pedersen (Copenhagen: Anis, 2010), 344–346.

71 71 Jürgen Moltmann, The Source of Life: The Holy Spirit and the Theology of Life (London: SCM, 1997), 1–9.

72 72 Jürgen Moltmann, The Open Church: Invitation to a Messianic Lifestyle (London: SCM, 1978), 50–63. Jürgen Moltmann, The Church in the Power of the Spirit: A Contribution to Messianic Ecclesiology (New York: Harper & Row, 1977), 114–121.

73 73 Moltmann, Church in the Power of the Spirit, 115.

74 74 Moltmann, Church in the Power of the Spirit, 116.

75 75 Servais Pinckaers, The Sources of Christian Ethics (Washington, DC: Catholic University of America Press, 1995), 19.

76 76 Pinckaers, The Sources of Christian Ethics, 20.

77 77 Sallie McFague, Metaphorical Theology: Models of God in Religious Language (Philadelphia: Fortress, 1982); Sallie McFague, Models of God: Theology for an Ecological, Nuclear Age (Philadelphia: Fortress, 1987). In these earlier works Sallie McFague (1933-2019) focused on metaphorical theology. In her later works she focused on ecological theology. In her 2013 book she described herself as “a theologian who investigates the connections of religion with economics and ecology” and observed that “we live within our models and make decisions on the basis of them.” Sallie McFague, Blessed Are the Consumers: Climate Change and the Practice of Restraint (Augsburg Fortress Publishers, 2013), ix, xii. Her final book is A New Climate for Christology: Kenosis, Climate Change, and Befriending Nature (Fortress Press, 2021).

78 78 McFague, Models of God, 159.

79 79 McFague, Models of God, 159.

80 80 McFague, Models of God, 159.

81 81 Paul J. Wadell, Friendship and the Moral Life (Notre Dame: University of Notre Dame Press, 1989), 120, 142.

82 82 Paul J. Wadell, Becoming Friends: Worship, Justice and the Practice of Christian Friendship (Grand Rapids: Brazos, 2002).

83 83 Tobias Winright, “Thanks Be to God for Paul J. Wadell: Essays in Honor of a Friend and His Work,” Journal of Moral Theology 10, no. 1 (2021): 106–107.

84 84 Paul D. O’Callaghan, The Feast of Friendship (Wichita: Eighth Day, 2002).

85 85 Elisabeth Moltmann-Wendel, Rediscovering Friendship: Awakening to the Power and Promise of Women’s Friendships, trans. John Bowden (Minneapolis: Fortress, 2001); Elisabeth Moltmann-Wendel, “Friendship—The Forgotten Category for Faith and Christian Community: A Perspective for the Twenty-First Century,” in Passion for God: Theology in Two Voices (Louisville: Westminster John Knox, 2003); Steve Summers, Friendship: Exploring its Implications for the Church in Postmodernity (London: T&T Clark International, 2009); John of Taizé, Friends in Christ: Paths to a New Understanding of Church (Maryknoll, NY: Orbis Books, 2012); Wesley Hill, Spiritual Friendship: Finding Love in the Church as a Celibate Gay Christian (Grand Rapids: Brazos, 2015).

86 86 Chloe Lynch, Ecclesial Leadership as Friendship (London: Routledge, 2019).

87 87 Victor Lee Austin, Friendship: The Heart of Being Human (Grand Rapids: Baker Academic).

88 88 Guido de Graaff, Politics in Friendship: A Theological Account (London: T&T Clark, 2014).

89 89 Susan S. Phillips, The Cultivated Life: From Ceaseless Striving to Receiving Joy (Downers Grove: IVP, 2015), 180–182.

90 90 Phillips, The Cultivated Life, 168.

91 91 Phillips, The Cultivated Life, 167.

92 92 Charles Ringma, Hear the Heartbeat with Henri Nouwen: Reflections on the Way of the Seeking Heart (Vancouver: Regent College Publishing, 2014), 62–65.

93 93 Ringma, Hear the Heartbeat, 64.

94 94 Ringma, Hear the Heartbeat, 68.

95 95 Carmichael, Friendship, 201.

96 96 While friendship continues to be celebrated in a variety of popular works, friendship is sometime portrayed as taking precedence over civic responsibilities. This is evident in the Captain America movies and the ongoing Star Wars saga. For the latter, see Greg Littmann, “The Friends of a Jedi: Friendship, Family, and Civic Duty in a Galaxy at War,” in The Ultimate Star Wars and Philosophy: You Must Unlearn What You Have Learned, ed. Jason T. Eberl and Kevin S. Decker (Hoboken, NJ: Wiley, 2015), 128.

97 97 Moltmann, Church in the Power of the Spirit, 316.

98 98 Moltmann, Church in the Power of the Spirit, 316. Cited, with modified translation, in John of Taizé, Friends in Christ, 86.

99 99 Mark Peel, “The Importance of Friends: The Most Recent Past,” in Friendship: A History, ed. Barbara Caine (London: Equinox, 2009), 329.

100 100 Martin Luther King Jr., “Loving Your Enemies,” in Strength to Love (New York: Harper & Row, 1963). See also Martin Luther King Jr., “Letter From Birmingham Jail,” The Christian Century, June 12, 1963.

101 101 Glen H. Stassen, “Peacemaking,” in Bonhoeffer and King: Their Legacies and Import for Christian Social Thought, ed. Willis Jenkins and Jennifer M. McBride (Minneapolis: Fortress, 2010), 197.

102 102 Stassen, “Bonhoeffer and King,” 197–198.

103 103 As summarized by L.D. Ivory, “Towards a Theology of Radical Involvement: The Continuing Legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.” (PhD diss., Emory University, 1994), 111.

104 104 See, for example, Glynis Carr, “The Female World of Love and Racism: Interracial Friendship in US Women’s Literature, 1840-1940” (PhD diss., The Ohio State University, 1989).

105 105 Jean Bethke Elshtain, “Political Order, Political Violence, and Ethical Limits,” in Bonhoeffer and King: Their Legacies and Import for Christian Social Thought, ed. Willis Jenkins and Jennifer M. McBride (Minneapolis: Fortress, 2010), 47.

106 106 Friendship is also reflected in the name of a New York-based organization formed to direct economic aid to the civil rights struggle in the South: In Friendship. See “In Friendship,” The Martin Luther King, Jr. Research and Education Institute, https://kinginstitute.stanford.edu/encyclopedia/friendship.

107 107 Susannah Heschel, “A Friendship in the Prophetic Tradition: Abraham Joshua Heschel and Martin Luther King, Jr,” Telos, no. 182 (2018): 67.

108 108 Lewis V. Baldwin, Toward the Beloved Community: Martin Luther King Jr. and South Africa (Cleveland: Pilgrim, 1995), 12.

109 109 Gustavo Gutiérrez, We Drink From Our Own Wells: The Spiritual Journey of a People, 20th anniversary ed. (Maryknoll, NY: Orbis Books, 2003), 104.

110 110 Gutiérrez, We Drink From Our Own Wells, 101.

111 111 Gutiérrez, We Drink From Our Own Wells, 104.

112 112 Chanequa Walker-Barnes, I Bring the Voices of My People: A Womanist Vision for Racial Reconciliation (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 2019), 215.

113 113 Walker-Barnes, Voices of My People, 216.

114 114 Walker-Barnes, Voices of My People, 190.

115 115 Pat O’Connor, Friendships between Women: A Critical Review (New York: Harvester Wheatsheaf, 1992), 26.

116 116 Jennifer Coates, Women Talk: Conversation between Women Friends (Oxford: Blackwell, 1996), 1.

117 117 Jacques Derrida, Politics of Friendship, trans. George Collins (London: Verso, 1997), 306. See also Jacques Derrida, Politiques de l’amitié (Paris: Galilée, 1994).

118 118 Heather Devere, “Amity Update: The Academic Debate on Friendship and Politics,” AMITY 1, no. 1 (2013): 5.

119 119 Allen, Talking to Strangers, 140.

120 120 Allen, Talking to Strangers, xxi.

121 121 Sibyl A. Schwarzenbach, On Civic Friendship: Including Women in the State (New York: Columbia University Press, 2009), xiii.

122 122 Astrid H.M. Nordin, “Decolonising Friendship,” AMITY: The Journal of Friendship Studies 6, no. 1 (2020): 89.

123 123 Nordin, “Decolonising Friendship,” 109.

124 124 See Devere, “Amity Update: The Academic Debate on Friendship and Politics,” 25.

125 125 See Margaret Kohn and Kavita Reddy, “Colonialism,” in The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, ed. Edward N Zalta (2017).

126 126 Kohn and Reddy, “Colonialism.”