Читать книгу Another Man’s Child - Anne Bennett - Страница 9

Six more weeks passed. Easter came and went and Celia turned eighteen and the relationship between Celia and Andy blossomed. Celia dreamed of Andy almost every night and woke with a smile on her face and at odd moments throughout the day his face would float into her mind and a warm glow would fill her being. Celia often wondered if she was falling in love with Andy, but she wasn’t sure. She thought it odd that, though it was the thing often sung about and written about and all, no one explained how you would feel and it wasn’t a question you could ask of anyone, least of all Norah. But Celia was well aware that life without Andy would be much bleaker and lonelier and more especially so when Norah sailed for America when she imagined it might be harder to see him as often.

She trembled when she imagined her father’s rage when he found out about their relationship and yet he had to know because she hated meeting Andy in secret. In fact she seldom met him at all in the week for they both had jobs to do and their absence would be noticed, but every Saturday she and Norah would make for the town with the list of things their mother wanted and always meet Andy on a similar errand for the Fitzgeralds and they would take a turn about the town together and, though Norah was there too, she often would take an interest in a shop window or have a chat with some of her old friends and let them wander off together.

Andy was always grateful at her doing this, though he too hated the subterfuge and from the first had wanted to call on Celia’s father and ask for his permission to walk out with her, but Norah and Celia had begged him not to. But as each day passed, Celia was becoming more and more important to him and he had seen the love light in her eyes when she looked at him, though he had never touched her, much as he wanted to, for he couldn’t bring himself to until it was known to her family.

But, oh, how he longed to hold her hand as they walked the town, or take her in a tight embrace and give her a kiss – not a proper kiss for he imagined that would frighten the life out of her – but just to put his lips on her little rosebud mouth would do for now. The dance that she came to with Norah every week, when she danced virtually every dance with him, was the only time he could legitimately hold her in his arms and it simply wasn’t enough any more.

And that is what he told Celia that Saturday. ‘You mean one hell of a lot to me, Celia, and I want to declare that, not conduct some sort of hole-in-a-corner affair.’

‘And what if we tell my father and he forbids me to see you as well he might and you know that.’

‘Then you must talk to him,’ Andy said. ‘He will hardly prevent you from seeing me physically.’

Celia had never seen her father raise his hand to any of them and even when he had a drink he was a happy drunk, not a violent or nasty one, and so she shook her head. ‘I think that highly unlikely.’

‘Well there you are then, and remember we’re doing nothing wrong and it would be better you tell him rather than he finds it out from someone else.’

‘Yes,’ Celia said, knowing Andy was right, and added, ‘Norah thinks it a wonder he hasn’t been told already.’

And Norah was totally amazed because people must have seen them walking around the town on Saturday and at the dances. Tom might have had his eyes dazzled by Sinead McClusky, but there were plenty of others who would have seen the way Andy McCadden monopolised Celia and that she seemed to be agreeable to this. Then there was the way she lingered after Mass for a word or sometimes, if the girls were walking together, having been sent on ahead to prepare the breakfast, Andy would join them on the road, out of view of the church. Norah could see that the presence of Andy McCadden with the two Mulligan girls caused great curiosity from the people in the cottages they passed, though they were all greeted as normal, and then in their Sunday jaunts they often passed people on the road taking the air too and she couldn’t understand why no one seemingly had had a word with their parents about it.

However, that day the girls hadn’t long reached the house when Dan arrived in a raging mood. He had been in the town himself, having wheel rims replaced on the cart, and he had gone into the pub for a pint while the job was done and what he had been told there had caused fury to rise in him so that for a few moments he saw black before his eyes. The poor carthorse, Bess, had never been driven home at such a speed and it didn’t do the new wheel trims on the cart any good either, rumbling so quickly over the rutted lane. However, Dan seemed not to care about that or anything else. Neither Tom nor Dermot had seen their father in such a tear and it was Tom, watching his father jerk the horse to a stop in front of the house, who said, ‘What’s up?’

‘You’ll know soon enough,’ Dan answered grimly. ‘See to the horse.’ And so saying he bounded up the steps and shut the door behind him with such force it juddered on its hinges.

‘Whew,’ Dermot said as he led the sweating horse towards the barn. ‘Someone’s for the high jump.’

Tom thought it was probably Norah who’d done something because even before this business with America she had been a bit wild, not like Celia who seldom put a foot wrong.

He would have been surprised then if he had seen that after ordering Celia upstairs Dan followed her up and pushed her into her bedroom. He faced her across the room. He was breathing heavily and Celia noted that his face was purple with rage and a pulse was beating in his temple as he almost spat out: ‘Now I want the truth. Is there some sort of carry-on between you and Fitzgerald’s hireling?’

Celia had never seen her father like this and she was nervous. The scathing way her father had said ‘Fitzgerald’s hireling’ caused her heart to feel heavy, as if there was a lump of lead in it, and her voice trembled as she spoke. ‘It’s not some kind of carry-on, Daddy. We just meet and talk sometimes.’

‘A lot of times from what I hear.’

‘Not that many,’ Celia said. ‘And we are not doing anything wrong. We’ve just been talking, that’s all, and most times Norah has been there.’

‘Yes and she will get the rough edge of my tongue as well,’ Dan said. ‘She should have told me what was going on for I spoke to men today who have passed you walking with the hireling on Sunday afternoon on one of the walks you suddenly took such an interest in. You say you’re doing nothing wrong, when you have wilfully deceived your parents to meet a man you knew I would heartily disapprove of.’

‘How can you disapprove of the man?’ Celia cried helplessly. ‘You don’t even know him. His family had a farm too but he was the second son like Jim and, not having a handy relative in America, he is having to make his own way in the world. It’s not fair to be so against him.’

‘I don’t care how fair you think it is,’ Dan said. ‘Anyway, he is some man to go behind my back like this.’

‘He wanted to tell you,’ Celia said. ‘He wanted to ask your permission to walk out with me, but I stopped him. I was afraid you would stop us seeing one another.’

‘Well you were right there,’ Dan said. ‘For from now on you will have nothing more to do with this man.’

‘Oh no, Daddy,’ Celia cried, covering her face with her hands while tears trickled down her cheeks from eyes filled with sadness.

‘Oh yes, Daddy,’ Dan mocked scathingly. ‘You just think yourself lucky that I am not a violent man for I know many would horse-whip their daughters for behaviour like this, but I will lock you up if you disobey me, for until you are twenty-one you are under my jurisdiction.’

Celia had never been scared of her father before, but she was now, so scared that she felt her knees knocking together. But then Andy’s lovely face filled her mind and she remembered her sister saying that their father could make life difficult for her if she opposed him. But what harm was she doing being friendly with Andy McCadden? So she lifted her head, which she had initially hung in shame, and faced her father and in a voice she willed not to tremble she said, ‘I don’t think you are being just at all here, Daddy. The only thing I have done that is wrong was deceive you and I did that to prevent you doing this and forbidding me to talk to someone who is a neighbour to us and who has shown both myself and Norah nothing but pleasantness. And yet you resent him out of hand, all because he is a hired man.’

‘Yes and as such he is nothing to you.’

Now Celia was more angry than fearful and she said, ‘Andy McCadden is a fine man and yet you choose to look down on him because of an accident of birth, a man you know nothing of.’

‘I know enough to know he won’t be earning enough to provide for you and any family you might have.’

‘Daddy, I’m not suggesting marrying Andy McCadden,’ Celia declared, though she crossed her fingers behind her back because she was knew she was fast becoming very, very fond of him. ‘I don’t want to marry anyone just now and Norah is always with me when we meet.’

‘Then how is it,’ Dan asked, ‘that I was told that just this morning the pair of you were waltzing across the Diamond side by side with no sign of Norah?’

‘I was with Norah,’ Celia protested. ‘If you ask her she will tell you the same, but she met an old school friend as we were crossing the town and stopped to have a chat. If whoever told you had watched a bit longer he would have seen Norah join us after a few minutes.’

‘That apart, Celia,’ Dan said, ‘surely to God I don’t have to tell you how unseemly it is for two young girls to walk unchaperoned with a man we know little or nothing about. I thought at least you knew how to conduct yourself respectably.’

‘I am respectable,’ Celia said. ‘We were only talking. You said we know nothing about him and we didn’t but we are finding out.’

‘What he was or is or does is nothing to do with you,’ Dan said. ‘And as for talking to him and referring to him in that familiar way … Well here’s an end to it. You are never to see or speak to this man again.’ Celia gave a gasp, but her father hadn’t finished. ‘And I want your solemn word that you will not defy me in this.’

Tears were trickling down Celia’s cheeks, but she remembered Norah saying that often fathers decided the future of their daughters and so her voice was unusually firm as she said, ‘You can forbid all the friendships you like, Daddy, and as you said I must do as you say until I am twenty-one, but one thing I will say, and it won’t matter how old I am, I will marry for love or not at all.’

‘Do you know who you are speaking to?’

Celia gave a defiant toss of her auburn locks as she said, ‘Yes, I know. And I also know neither you nor anyone else can make me marry a man I do not want to marry.’

Dan was stunned for this was not the compliant, easy-going girl not long from childhood that he had thought her, but a determined young woman that knew her own mind and that fact had been made even more apparent when she refused to give her word not to see and speak to Andy McCadden again.

‘Then,’ Dan said, ‘I must lock you in while I tell your mother what has been happening.’

Celia stared at her father in shock, not sure she had heard right, but her father meant every word and he closed the door firmly. She heard the key turn in the lock with a grating noise then his footsteps were going down the stairs and she had the urge to hammer on the door. She was proud of herself for not giving in to that, but as she gazed at the locked door a sudden sense of desolation swept over her and she threw herself on the bed and cried, broken-hearted, muffling the sound in her pillow.

Downstairs they were all waiting for Dan in the kitchen, but he shooed Ellie and Sammy outside, for what he had to say was not for their ears, and he told the others what Celia had said, and it implicated Norah too for she had known and said nothing.

‘I am disappointed with you,’ Peggy said. ‘You were the elder and it was up to you to turn her from this foolishness.’

‘I’m really sorry,’ Norah said.

‘Is there any more light you can shed on this?’ Dan asked her.

Norah was determined to say nothing further that would get Celia into more trouble and so she shook her head as she said, ‘No, it’s just as Celia said. ‘We’d meet Mr McCadden sometimes and talk and that’s all.’

Peggy knew Norah wasn’t telling them everything and so she looked at her sadly. ‘How could you do this?’

‘I’ve said I’m sorry and I am,’ Norah said. ‘But I honestly didn’t see much harm in it.’

‘Not much harm in it,’ Peggy repeated. ‘Well we will agree to differ on that and I’m glad at least that you are sorry for your part in it, but you won’t be half as sorry as you will be when I write to Aunt Maria and tell her about your part in all this.’

‘Must you do that?’

‘Indeed I must,’ Peggy said firmly. ‘She might decide she doesn’t want a lying, deceitful girl living in her house.’

Norah saw her wonderful future slipping through her fingers. ‘But, Mammy,’ she cried. ‘I haven’t lied and I only deceived you by not telling you about Mr McCadden and I am truly sorry about that.’

‘You know more than you are telling,’ Peggy said. ‘And, unless you are honest and tell us everything about the relationship between Celia and that man, I would say you can kiss America goodbye.’

Norah bit her lip for she knew that the way her mother would write such a letter would cast her in the worst light possible and Aunt Maria might easily say that she wouldn’t take on the responsibility of such a bold and wilful girl. Suddenly she was angry with Celia, for she had told her from the beginning not to get involved with a hireling man and the fact that she had ignored that advice meant that her own future was now in jeopardy.

And yet she hated letting her sister down but her father was relentless in his interrogation of her and eventually the story was dragged out of her and they heard that it really began from the day Andy McCadden came with the bull and put it in Celia’s head to go to the dance in the town that night. Reluctantly she told him of McCadden buying Celia a drink when Norah had left her unattended and that later her sister had danced with him. When she mentioned the last waltz she heard her father’s teeth grind together.

‘And where were you when this was going on?’ Dan asked Tom, fixing him with a steely glare.

Tom looked a bit sheepish. ‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘I noticed nothing untoward. I was with Sinead a lot.’

‘Well, I’m surprised at you, Tom,’ Peggy said. ‘I expected you to look after your sisters better than that, Celia in particular.’

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ Tom demanded of Norah.

Norah sighed. ‘Didn’t want to get her into trouble I suppose,’ she said and added, ‘I did try talking to her about it.’

‘But she didn’t listen?’

Norah shook her head. ‘She got worse,’ she said. ‘The next time she danced nearly every dance with Mr McCadden. The other men who might have wanted a dance with her never stood a chance. And it was at the first dance they arranged to meet on Sunday afternoon at Lough Eske.’

And then, because it hardly mattered now for she knew with dread certainty Celia’s goose was well and truly cooked, as she had expected, it all came out about meeting Andy every Sunday afternoon and meeting him in town most Saturday mornings as well as attending the dances and even about the times he met them on the road going home from Mass.

‘It’s a catalogue of deception that’s what it is,’ Dan said angrily. ‘Fine respect that is showing her parents. I bet everyone knows about this and I’ve been made a laughing stock and the only thing I am surprised about is that I wasn’t told of it sooner.’

Norah was too, though she said nothing. She thought it better to keep a low profile and anyway her father was saying, ‘The thing to decide now is what are we going to do about it and I will have to give that some thought. And meanwhile Celia will stay locked in the bedroom,’ he said and then he glared at Norah as he said, ‘And I want no one creeping up the stairs to talk to her and, Norah, you keep Ellie and Sammy away too.’

‘I will, Daddy,’ Norah promised. ‘And I’ll not go near Celia, never fear.’ She didn’t want to face Celia because she felt she had let her down, though she didn’t see what else she could have done when the news had leaked out anyway.

It was a few hours later in the byre as they were milking the cows that Dan said to Tom, ‘That hireling man has got to be dealt with for I had sort of semi-promised Celia to Johnnie Cassidy.’

And although it was Tom he had spoken to, it was the appalled voice of Dermot that answered, ‘You can’t have promised Celia to him. Christ, Daddy, he’s an old man.’

‘When I want advice from you I’ll ask for it,’ Dan snapped. ‘Till then hold your tongue. And what have I said to you about taking the Lord’s name in vain? You’re not too old for a good hiding and don’t you forget it.’

Dermot was silent and though his face was red with embarrassment at being reprimanded his eyes still smouldered defiantly and Tom, hoping to deflect his father’s anger, because he could understand how astounded his young brother had been, said, ‘Dermot’s right though, Daddy. Johnnie’s a nice enough fellow but a bit long in the tooth. He must be over twenty years older than Celia.’

Dan nodded. ‘Twenty-three,’ he admitted. ‘But it’s a young wife he’s after, one young enough to bear him plenty of sons that will help him when the farm work gets too much for him and one of his blood to take over after his day, otherwise he says it goes to some nephew in New York that he has never met that hasn’t been once to see the place he might well inherit.’

‘Even so,’ Tom said. ‘That young wife needn’t be Celia.’

‘I doubt it will be now,’ Dan said glumly. ‘Before this business Celia was easy-going and eager to please, little more than a child, and I’m sure I could have convinced her it was for the best. We’d not lose by it once she agreed to marry him for he was giving us two fields almost adjoining ours and a gift of two pregnant cows when they married. He had a great fancy for our Celia.’

I bet he had, Tom thought but kept that to himself and instead said, ‘You think she might still be persuaded if McCadden was off the scene?’

Dan shook his head. ‘She says not. Says she’ll only marry for love. Did you ever hear such foolishness?’

Tom lowered his head as he smiled for he was well aware of his father’s views on ‘love’ and yet he was pretty sure he loved Sinead and she certainly loved him, but he’d hate to be forced or coerced into marrying someone he couldn’t stand. No wonder Celia had said what she did. And yet it would never do for her to marry a hireling boy.

‘What do you intend to do?’ Tom asked his father.

‘Get rid of McCadden for starters.’

‘And how do you intend to do that?’

‘Bribe him.’

‘Bribe him?’ Tom repeated and Dermot’s mouth dropped open.

‘Every man has his price,’ Dan said. ‘Tonight I intend to waylay McCadden as he makes his way to the dance and ask him what is his price to go far away from here for good and make no effort to contact my daughter.’

‘D’you think he will agree?’

‘We’ll see,’ Dan said. ‘But it will be the worse for him if he refuses because if he won’t go by peaceful means, then he might have to be persuaded in other ways.’

The alarmed eyes of Dermot met those of his older brother, who had heard of the wild man his father had been in his youth, though that had been years ago. Now his father was known as an easy-going, even-tempered man and, though he was quite a strict disciplinarian, before this business Tom would have said that he was seldom unjust, never mind violent. And yet maybe any father might be moved to violence when his daughter’s future was at stake. But it might never come to that, Tom told himself, for surely the man would take the money and run and that would be the last they would hear of him.

‘And you,’ Dan said to Dermot as he prepared to take the cows back to the field. ‘You heard none of this, you hear?’

Dermot nodded. ‘I won’t say a word.’

‘See that you don’t,’ Dan growled.

Dan began leading the cows across the yard. Tom smiled reassuringly at Dermot and heard him give an almost imperceptible sigh of relief as they started to clean out the byre.

That evening Dan allowed Celia to come out of her room to eat the meal with them and an extremely uncomfortable meal it was, for she was well aware that her father and mother were still greatly displeased and disappointed with her. That did upset her because they had never even been cross with her before and the little conversation they had was stilted and unnatural and even the younger children picked up on the atmosphere and were quieter than usual.

Norah knew there would be no dance for her or Celia that night, in fact Dan had told Celia he had an errand out that evening, which shouldn’t take long, and she was not to leave the house for any reason in his absence. Celia had just nodded and so Dan barked out, ‘You hear what I said?’

‘Yes, Daddy.’

‘And I have your word on that?’

This time there was slight hesitation and then Celia nodded again. ‘Yes, you have my word.’

Dan knew Celia wouldn’t break her word. In that way she had always been trustworthy and so he nodded, satisfied, as Peggy asked, ‘What errand have you to make?’

‘Ask me no questions and I will tell you no lies,’ Dan replied and Celia knew exactly who he was going to see and she regretted giving her word to him for she knew he was going to see Andy McCadden and she had no way of warning him. Dermot knew where he was going as well, but he’d been charged with secrecy so when Celia asked in an urgent whisper, ‘Has Daddy gone to see Andy tonight? Is that his errand?’ he shrugged and said, ‘Don’t know.’

Later Tom went upstairs to change for he had to see the McCluskys, and Sinead in particular, and explain things and Dan went to him in the bedroom. ‘Don’t discuss this with Sinead and her family.’

‘I wouldn’t do that,’ Tom promised, knowing how much his father hated family business being told outside of the family. ‘I’ll think up some excuse to satisfy her and her parents, but I must tell her something. We’ll more than likely go for a walk then, for the evening’s a fine one. I couldn’t trust myself at the dance tonight anyway for if I saw McCadden I’d want to push my fist down his throat.’

‘I know,’ Dan said. ‘But there’ll be no need for any of that if he takes the money as I’m sure he will.’

After his father had left to waylay McCadden, Dermot sidled into the scullery where the girls were washing up. He knew it was his only chance to talk to them, with Tom and his father out of the way and his mother washing Sammy and Ellie in the big tin bath in the kitchen, where they were making a lot of noise about it. He said to Celia, ‘I know why Daddy was so mad at you making eyes at McCadden.’

‘I was not making eyes at McCadden,’ Celia protested.

‘Ssh,’ Norah cautioned as Dermot said airily, ‘Oh you know what I mean and it was because he had someone already lined up for you.’

‘What did I tell you?’ Norah said, but Celia ignored her and said to Dermot, ‘Do you know who it was?’

‘You bet I do,’ Dermot said. ‘It was Johnnie Cassidy, old Johnnie Cassidy, and I tried telling Daddy he was too old for you and got my head bitten off.’

Celia seemed too shocked to speak. She seemed unaware that her mouth was open and her lips pulled back in distaste as Norah cried, ‘I’ll say he’s too old. It’s almost obscene.’

‘I heard Daddy say that he’s twenty-three years older than you, Celia,’ Dermot said. ‘And he’s after a young wife that will bear him plenty of strong sons that will help him on the farm as he gets older.’

‘Yes,’ Norah said in clipped tones. ‘You’d have the body pulled out of you with a baby born every year and when your child-bearing years were gone you’d have an old, maybe senile man to care for as well as a houseful of children to cook for and clean after and you would be expected to help on the farm as well. If you married him, your life would effectively be over and you would be an old woman before you had a chance to be a young one.’

Celia gave a shiver at the thought, but answered firmly enough. ‘That isn’t going to happen because I am not marrying that man. I barely know him, for heaven’s sake, and I have no wish to know a man old enough to be my father. I told Daddy I will only marry for love and I stick by that.’

‘When you said that to me I said Daddy might make life difficult for you,’ Norah warned.

Celia tossed her titian curls with defiance, though her heart trembled at the thought of unleashing her father’s anger if she continued to stand against him. She still maintained though, ‘He can’t force me to marry someone I don’t want to marry.’

‘No,’ Norah conceded. ‘But what are you going to do?’

‘Why have I got to do anything?’ Celia asked.

‘Well I suppose you want to marry someday?’

‘Probably.’

‘Well who will it be?’ Norah asked. ‘And don’t say Andy McCadden because I think we can take Daddy’s reaction to mean he will never agree to that. And don’t think after this you will be let go to the dances any more to choose someone more suitable. When I go to America it will be worse.’

‘When I’m twenty-one I can do as I please,’ Celia said. ‘You said that.’

Norah nodded. ‘It’s three years away,’ she said. ‘But if you stick it out you can marry who you like – even your hireling boy, if that’s who you want – but Daddy might say that he doesn’t want to see you again, might disown you if you do. Would you be prepared for that?’

Celia gasped for she had never imagined being banished from her home and yet she could see it happening if her father was angry enough. Once he had made a decision that was that and he usually couldn’t be shifted, though Peggy could sometimes coax him into a more reasonable response.

Celia loved her father and though she knew he was quite strict, it was what she was used to. His attitude to discipline had never affected her because she had given him no reason to censure her, for she had always done as she was told and until now had never answered back either.

Dermot could say nothing, but he wished he could tell Norah that soon McCadden would be out of their lives, for he had no doubt that the man would accept the money his father would offer him and be on his way. Celia would undoubtedly be upset at first, but she would get over it and, with McCadden out of the way, she would be able to socialise more and meet suitable men, that weren’t in their dotage. Then their father might be willing to accept one of them as a son-in-law and Johnnie Cassidy would have to look elsewhere for a wife.

However, he wouldn’t dare say any of this. He had said enough in telling them the name of the man their father had marked down for Celia and that had only been because he wanted her prepared.

Suddenly, Celia said, ‘Everyone goes on about respecting our parents. But I don’t think it is respecting us very much, mapping out the only future we’ll have to the extent of even telling us who to marry, and like you said before, Norah, it’s usually for their good, not ours. Dermot, what will Daddy get if I was to marry Johnnie Cassidy?’

Dermot gave an ironic grin as he said, ‘Two fallow fields and two pregnant cows.’

Celia covered her face with her hands for the proposal was preposterous enough to be funny. ‘So that’s my bridal price,’ she said. ‘Two fields and two cows. Huh, I’d say he was getting me cheap. If I married him at eighteen I could easily give him a dozen children before I was totally worn out and I’d say a fair few of them would be the boys he craves.’

‘And he’ll get a nurse to tend him in his old age too,’ Norah said. ‘He wins hands down, I’d say.’

‘Well Daddy can do what he likes, but I won’t agree to that,’ Celia said almost fiercely. ‘Just at the moment I am happy as I am and I have no desire to marry anyone.’

‘Don’t blame you,’ Norah said. ‘And all I can advise you to do is stick to your guns.’