Читать книгу Being Emily - Anne Donovan - Страница 3

PATRICK TOOK THE lump of dough ah’d been wrestlin with and kneaded it, pushin the outer part intae the centre, then pressin wi the fleshy part of his palm, just at the base of his thumb, fingers steady and firm. The yella daud, crisscrossed wi creases, smoothed intae a solid mass.

Looks like you’re giein it a massage.

Wouldnae like tae get wan fae you then. He kidded on he was attackin the dough.

Ah dunted him in the ribs.

Ow, ow, Mammy she’s attackin me.

Don’t make a mess, you two – yer Auntie Janice’ll be here soon. Mammy bent doon tae the washin machine, hauled the claes out.

Patrick plaited the dough intae a neat shape.

Here, brush a wee drap milk on the tap – a wee bit – you’re no emulsionin the walls.

The milk dripped aff the brush, left a sticky trail on the worksurface.

Stick it in the oven and whatever you dae don’t open it for twenty minutes.

Can you hang these out for me, hen? Looks as though the rain’ll keep aff for a while.

Ah wasnae convinced – a big grey cloud was heidin in fast – but ah never said anythin. When it comes tae washin Mammy is the eternal optimist. We’ve got a pulley but she just loves hangin the washin outside. When she got the new machine last year the guy in the shop tellt her she could get wan wi a tumble drier for the same price but she didnae want it. Doesnae smell the same if you don’t put it outside, she said.

Auntie Janice arrived in the close just as ah was comin in fae the back court. She’s only five year younger than Mammy but looks completely different; short spiky hair wi coloured streaks through it, a nose stud and trendy claes.

Hi Fiona. She gied me a big hug. How’s the poetry?

Ah wrote a new wan last night. About the wee cat in the bin shelter.

Good for you.

Miss Hughes said you could write poetry about ordinary things as well.

We went upstairs and in the front door. Janice shouted, Anybody here? so the twins would have time tae hide. Ever since they were wee she done this same routine but they never seemed tae get fed up wi it. Then she said in a very loud voice, What a shame. Ah was so lookin forward tae seein the twins. Oh well. Ah’ll just need tae eat these sweeties all by mysel.

All of a sudden she was near knocked tae the ground by what looked like twenty twins chargin fae the livin room. Mammy appeared at the door of the kitchen and they turnt back intae angels.

Don’t jump on your auntie like that. And you’re no gettin sweeties at this time of the day – they can go in the cupboard for later. Janice, you’ll need tae stop bringin them so much rubbish.

The twins followed us into the kitchen.

What’s that smell? said Rona.

Patrick’s teachin me tae bake bread – he showed me how tae dae the kneadin and everythin.

Yuck, said Mona and they disappeared intae the bedroom to play.

It’s just about ready, said Patrick. Want tae take it out the oven?

Ah opened the door and there it was, a beautiful golden plaited loaf. Ah lifted it out, turned it carefully ontae the rack tae cool.

That smells fantastic, said Janice.

Fiona’s first loaf. You can have some wi your tea. Mammy switched on the kettle.

Wanny the auld guys showed me how tae dae it by haund, said Patrick. It’s all machines at the bakery noo.

Really? said Janice. Another illusion shattered.

Once we were sittin round the table Janice turnt tae Mammy and said, Will ah tell them now?

On you go.

Ah’m havin a baby. Janice’s eyes shone.

Congratulations, said Patrick.

That’s great, ah said, chewin the bread. It was warm and the butter melted intae it. Tasted better than any bread ah’d ever had. Ah didnae know you had a boyfriend.

Ah don’t, she said.

Sorry. Ah felt ma face gaun red. Should of known better. Auntie Janice was dead independent. Career woman, Da called her. Lots of women are single parents noo. And you’ve got a good job and everythin.

Ah’m no gonnae be a single parent – me and Angela will bring the baby up thegether.

Your flatmate?

My partner.

Ah felt like a right numpty. Couldnae say anythin. Scared ah’d say somethin else stupid. Janice talked about how the father was a friend of theirs but he lived abroad and wouldnae have much tae dae wi the wean.

After we’d had tea Janice and Mammy took the twins out to the park, leavin me and Patrick to dae the washin up.

You’re awful quiet, he said. You okay? About Janice?

Aye – it’s just, ah just never realised.

She’s been livin wi Angela for years. They dae everythin thegether.

Aye but so dae Jean and Betty up the stair.

Uhhuh, said Patrick.

You’re kiddin. Jean and Betty are about ninety-five.

No quite. Anyway, d’you think folk grow out of it when they get past a certain age?

Naw, ah didnae mean that. Just cannae imagine them …

Ah didnae know what ah meant. Never thought about it really. There was lesbian couples on the TV sometimes but that was different, they werenae real, characters in a soap opera or film stars or that. The idea that my auntie or the two wee auld ladies up the stair could be like that. It was just weird.

Patrick finished the last plate, wiped his haunds on the edge of the teatowel ah was usin. You’re no … ah mean you don’t think there’s anythin wrang wi it, dae you?

Ah wiped the sink wi the cloth and hung it on the drainin board.

Mammy seems to think it’s okay.

But ma da thought there was somethin wrang about it.

What about the baby but?

What about it? said Mammy. The twins were away tae their beds and the resty us were sittin in the living room, watchin TV, well, no actually watchin it, watchin ma da flick through the channels while we were waitin for ER tae come on.

Janice’ll be a great mother.

That’s all very well when it’s toty, said ma da. But when it grows aulder it’ll start askin where its daddy is.

Loads of weans never have a daddy in the first place. Or they have one that’s never around. At least Angela will be there.

No the same, said ma da.

Ah know it’s no the same, said Mammy. But there’s different ways of daein things. Janice cannae help how she is.

Ah kept quiet. Ah was surprised they were havin this conversation in fronty me and ah thought if ah said anything, they might stop. A few month ago they’d never of mentioned sex, even though Mammy had tellt me about it that long ago ah couldnae remember no knowin. And if anythin sexy came on the TV they’d change channels or send me out tae make tea.

Ah never said she could. Ah just think her and Angela should be discreet, no flauntin it.

Da, said Patrick. Why should they have tae lie about their relationship?

Ah never said that, you’re puttin words in ma mouth. There’s a difference between bein discreet and lyin. Ah mean we don’t run round the hoose wi nae claes on, dae we?

Patrick laughed. We don’t. But some families dae. Willie Slavin’s ma and da have a shower and then walk through the hall wi nothin on.

How d’you know that?

Harry tellt me. He was in the hoose wan day when Mrs Slavin walked in the livin room, said ‘ah think ah left ma hairbrush in here,’ picked it up and walked out again, starkers.

Jeezo. Ah think that proves ma point about discretion, said ma da. Mrs Slavin.

Could be worse, said Patrick. At least the Flanagans arenae at it.

Da turnt the volume up. Shoosh. It’s startin.