Читать книгу The Groom, I Presume? - Annette Broadrick, Annette Broadrick - Страница 9

She stared at him blankly for a long moment without blinking. When the silence seemed as if it would stretch into infinity she silently mouthed the word “married?” as though it was a foreign word she’d never heard.

Chris waited, knowing there was nothing else he could say. There was no way to make this easy for her. He could almost see the pain as it seemed to inch its way into her consciousness.

As though finally remembering to breathe, she took a quick breath, then released it. Another moment passed, another gasp of air followed, as though she had to remind herself of her lungs’ continual need for lifesustaining oxygen.

“I don’t understand,” she finally said. Her mouth quivered, then was still. As though searching for words that might make some sense to her, she asked, “Why would Bobby call you and say such a thing? Bobby would never…”

What little breath she had, suddenly deserted her. She paused, her hand pressed against her throat, her eyes mutely pleading for him to tell her that this was all a joke.

Chris could feel her pain just as surely as if it was his. In many ways, it was. He would have done anything in his power not to hurt this woman.

“Chris, surely he was teasing. Surely he didn’t really mean that he—” Her breath was coming in short pants, as though she’d been running hard.

“He said that a bunch of the group had been out celebrating, partying. He admitted that he didn’t remember too much about the night. Vegas was mentioned, it was like a joke or something. He couldn’t fill in details and I didn’t ask for any. When he woke up the next day he realized what he had done. He knew he had to let you know. He found that he couldn’t call you and just tell you like that. So he called me, instead.”

She looked at Chris with dawning awareness. “All this time you’ve been here…we’ve been talking about the past, and the wedding…” Her voice trailed off. She spoke as if to herself. “I was even discussing my sex life with you, for Pete’s sake.” Her eyes suddenly filled with tears and Chris felt as though he’d been punched in the gut. “All this time you knew that Bobby had—That Bobby-”

Suddenly she jerked away from him, jumping to her feet. “I don’t believe you,” she said in a hoarse voice, her back to him. “Why, the whole idea is absurd. The invitations have all gone out, everything’s been planned for months… for years! Bobby wouldn’t suddenly do something so—” Her voice broke. Without looking at him, she walked back to the car. In a low voice, she said, “I’d like to go home now.”

Chris reluctantly followed her. “I don’t think that’s a good idea right at the moment, do you?” he asked reasonably. “That’s why I brought you out here. So you could have some time alone, to get used to the idea.”

The look she gave him was chilling. “Get used to the idea? How, exactly, do you propose I do that? Am I supposed to calmly dismiss and forget the past fifteen years of my life?”

“No. Of course not. Damn it, Maribeth. I know I didn’t do this right, but how the hell do you tell a person something like this? You had to know. He sure as hell left it a little late to pull a stunt like this, then leave it for me to tell you. I came as soon as I could.”

“Fine.” Once again she turned away, this time opening the door to the car and getting inside. “You’ve told me. Thank you very much. Now I’d like to go home.”

She’d left the door open. Chris took advantage of that by hunkering down beside her. Taking her hand, he said, “Don’t shut me out, honey, okay? I know you’re hurt by this. But I’m here for you. You’ve got me. Does that help?”

Gentleness from this particular man was more than she could handle. The tears she’d desperately been fighting to contain finally spilled over and rolled down her cheeks. She could do nothing to stop them.

Awkwardly he pulled her into his arms. The sudden reminder of his after-shave teased her senses, whisking her away to a younger, more innocent time.

“I don’t want to cry,” she said fiercely into his shoulder, ineffectually wiping her eyes.

“You’re entitled,” he murmured. He fumbled in his back pocket and brought out a crisp, neatly folded handkerchief, silently offering it to her.

She straightened, taking the handkerchief and energetically wiping her eyes and cheeks. “How could he do something like this?” Her voice broke and she jammed her fist against her mouth to muffle a sob. She waited until she could gain some control before saying, “It’s like a nightmare, a scary dream brought on by prewedding jitters. It’s like some kind of a test. What would you do if you planned a wedding and your fiancé didn’t show up? It’s a giant, cosmic joke. Isn’t the bride being left at the altar a cliché?”

“Look, why don’t we go back over there and sit for a while? I know I’d be more comfortable,” he added lightly, glancing down at his awkward position beside the small car. “Maybe we can work out some kind of plan.”

Maribeth glanced at Chris and tried to smile. She wasn’t certain how successful her attempt was, but she reminded herself that she had to stop thinking of herself for a moment. Bobby had put both her and Chris into a horrible situation here. Why should she take her feelings out on Chris? He was only trying to help.

With a nod, she moved her legs to get out of the car. Chris immediately stood and offered her his hand. When she was standing beside him, he put his arms around her.

“I know you’re hurt, but you and I both know that Bobby has never been a role model for responsibility. In a way, this is very typical of the kid I used to know. I had just assumed he’d grown up some…until that phone call last night.”

Maribeth was furious that she couldn’t stop crying. The tears slid down her cheeks quicker than she could wipe them away. This was so stupid, getting upset this way. It certainly didn’t solve anything.

She leaned against Chris, grateful for his warmth and for his understanding.

He turned and with one arm still around her shoulders, guided her back to the blanket. He helped her to sit, then lowered himself beside her.

They sat there in silence. Maribeth lost track of the time. So many thoughts raced through her mind, none of them making much sense. Chris was no longer touching her, but she knew he was there.

Eventually she asked, “Did he say who it was?”

For a moment, she thought he wasn’t going to answer. When he did, his voice was low. “No. I didn’t ask. That wasn’t the purpose of his call.”

“I suppose.” After another lengthy pause, she said, “It’s probably somebody who follows the circuit. She’s probably been there for him whenever he needed consoling or cheering. She’s probably—”

“Don’t, honey. Don’t start to imagine stuff that you have no way of knowing if it’s true or not. Trying to second-guess the situation doesn’t do any good. It will only make you feel worse.”

Her attempt at a laugh was a dismal failure. “Feel worse? Surely you’re kidding.”

Silence fell between them once more.

Eventually Chris said, “I know you don’t believe this right at the moment, but I know that things are going to be okay for you eventually. It isn’t the end of the world, even though it may feel like it. Someday, you’ll be able to look back at all of this and see how God’s plans for us aren’t necessarily what we had in mind at the time. Maybe He has other plans we aren’t aware of at the moment. Just give yourself some time to deal with what’s happened, and I think you’ll do fine.”

There was nothing more he could think of to say. So he sat there beside her, staring out over the hills, and waited for her to deal with the news in her own way. He knew she was crying, but she never made a sound, other than her uneven breathing and an occasional sniff. She was handling it as well as anyone could. He’d never been more proud of her.

And now she’s free, a small voice in his head reminded him.

So what?

So now’s your chance.

Oh, sure.

Think about it. Maybe something can be salvaged from this mess Bobby has created. Just think about it.

The sun sank lower in the west, tinting the sky with wisps of pastel colors. He’d forgotten how beautiful the Texas hill country was. The gentle breeze cooled them, wafting the scent of cedar across the hills.

He had no idea how long they had been sitting in silence when she finally spoke once again.

“He was right.”

“About what?”

“Not telling me over the phone.”

“Yes. At least he did something right.”

She sighed, her breath still catching. “I’m glad you were here, Chris.” She gave him a quick glance before looking away. “It would have been even tougher if I’d been at home, with the family, trying to explain.” She sighed. “I just feel overwhelmed at the moment. I don’t know where to start.”

Her voice sounded stronger. She was more in control of her emotions. He took the chance of resting his hand on her back. When she leaned into him slightly, he began to massage the area between her shoulder blades.

“Start what?”

“Telling everybody the wedding is canceled.” The tears that had dried up earlier suddenly reappeared. She impatiently wiped them away, then blew her nose on the handkerchief. “I feel like such a dope, patiently waiting for years for him to return home to marry me when all this time he—He’s been—”

There was no reason for her to finish that particular line of thought.

“You know what?” he said, making the effort to sound brisk and matter-of-fact. “What you really need to do is to get away from here for a while. Why don’t you come back to Dallas with me? I’ve got a big place with plenty of room. It would give you a chance to distance yourself from the situation until you can come to terms with what’s happened.”

His suggestion brought a quiver to her lips, as though she was attempting to smile. “You’ve got to be kidding, Chris.” Yes. Definitely a watery smile. “I’d never hear the end of it from my family if I went off somewhere with you.”

“We could get around that.”

Her expression when she cut her eyes around to look at him clearly showed her doubt.

“I have a suggestion that might solve some of this for you.”

“What? Put a notice in the paper? I already thought of that, but it’s too late. The weekly paper will be out in the morning.”

“No. I’m suggesting that you go ahead with the wedding.”

“What in the world are you talking about? I can’t have a wedding without a groom.”

“I know. So I’m volunteering.”

She straightened away from him, pushing herself up until she was standing, looking down at him. With a disbelieving shake to her head, she said, “You can’t be serious!”

Chris took his time getting up. When they were facing each other once again, he met her bewildered gaze with a level one of his own. He let her see what was in his eyes, what he was feeling, before he replied, “I’m very serious, Maribeth.”

If she lived to be a hundred, Maribeth knew that she would never experience a day like this one. “Why?” Blurted out that way, her response had sounded almost insulting.

“I have many reasons, none of which matter in the least if you find the idea repulsive.”

Marriage to Chris Cochran repulsive? Many feelings came to mind, but repulsion wasn’t one of them. For a day filled with shocking disclosures, this one was as great as any she’d heard so far.

Marriage with Chris? Why, she’d never thought of him in that way. At least…not exactly. Even though she had teased him earlier today about the women in his life, he’d always seemed too much of a loner for her to ever imagine him married to anyone.

He made her nervous in a way she couldn’t quite describe. What would it be like to be married to him? To live with him? To sleep with him? To make loveWell! He’d certainly taken her mind off the news he’d brought. She’d gotten so caught up in his proposal—and that was exactly what it was, she realized with a dazed fascination—that she had momentarily forgotten that the entire county was going to turn out for her wedding in three days, unless she got busy and explained to everyone what had happened.

Chris wished he knew what she was thinking. Her expressive face revealed a bewildering series of thoughts and feelings, none of which he’d been able to decipher.

“This doesn’t sound at all like you, Chris,” she finally said. “You’re not the impulsive type. So why would you suggest something so unusual?”

He took her hand, placed it on his palm and traced the length of her fingers with his other hand. “What’s so unusual about it? Think about it for a moment. You’ve been planning to get married for sometime now. You can still get married. You’ve known me for almost as long as you’ve known Bobby, so it’s not as if we’re strangers. You pointed out earlier that you had spent most of your life on the ranch. Well, now you can come with me and see something more of the world.”

“I can’t take advantage of you,” she said slowly, her gaze fixed on their linked hands.

Chris couldn’t help but be amused. She sounded so earnest. And so scared. “Sure you can. You have my permission to take advantage of me at anytime, starting right now.” He released her hands and tipped her chin up so that she could see his face. He’d never been more sincere in his life when he said, “I can’t think of anything that would give me more pleasure than to marry you, Maribeth.”

Her expression was difficult to make out. It was only then that he realized the light was fading rapidly from the sky.

“Oh, Chris,” she said in the gathering darkness. He could hear the tears in her voice. She wiped her hand impatiently across her eyes once again. “I don’t know what to say.”

A surge of exultation shot through him. She hadn’t turned him down cold. Was it fair to take advantage of her while she was so vulnerable’?

Something needed to be done. And done quickly.

Giving in to temptation, Chris slid his arm around her waist and with his other hand, tilted her chin upward. Moving slowly in order to give her time to stop him if she wished, he leaned closer until his lips brushed hers.

She didn’t flinch and she didn’t pull away. That was enough encouragement for him to put all the yearning he felt into the kiss that he’d fantasized giving her for more years than he could remember.

Her lips were even softer than he had imagined. She tasted of tears and temptation. He took his time molding his mouth to fit hers, easing his way as her innocence imprinted itself on him.

He pressed her against him, his hands exploring her back from her nape to the base of her spine while he nudged her lips apart and dipped into the sweetness of her mouth.

By the time Maribeth understood that Chris intended to kiss her, he was already doing it. The first touch of his mouth froze her into immobility. This was Chris Cochran kissing her! She would have known it was him even if she’d been wearing a blindfold because of the tingling sensation she’d experienced as soon as he touched her. Her body must be some kind of tuning fork where he was concerned!

That was her last coherent thought. Maribeth had thought that she was experienced in the art of kissing at least, but she’d never experienced anything like this before. All she could do was wrap her arms around his waist and hold on.

By the time he drew away from her with obvious reluctance some untold time later, she was having trouble getting her breath. He seemed to be having a similar problem. He leaned his forehead against hers.

“So what do you say?” he whispered. “Shall we shock everybody and do it?”

She was already in shock, and all she’d done was kiss Chris Cochran. Perhaps it would be better to say that Chris had kissed her.

Her head was still swimming.

In a few short hours everything she thought she knew and understood about herself and her life had been turned upside down. She’d been grieving over Bobby one minute and wholeheartedly participating in a kiss with Chris the next.

Had the whole world gone mad, or was it just her?

“Oh, Chris. I can’t make a decision like that right now. I can’t even think right now.”

He couldn’t see her face, but he could hear the pain and confusion in her voice. He wasn’t certain what to say. He knew better than to kiss her again. That way led to madness if he couldn’t place her on the blanket nearby and make passionate love to her.

“I need to get back home,” she said, only now stepping away from him. “Everybody will be wondering why I’ve been gone so long.”

“You’re twenty-six years old, Maribeth, not sixteen. Believe it or not, you don’t have to account for every moment of your life anymore.”

“You’re right, of course. I guess it’s a habit.”

“I sometimes wonder if you don’t feel as though you’re in some kind of suspended time frame, like Sleeping Beauty, waiting for your prince to come claim you. You’ve been content to stay here with your family working on the ranch while you waited for Bobby to return home.”

“Perhaps. I don’t know. I’ve stayed here because this has been my life. I never envisioned another kind. There was no reason to, until now. I never would have guessed that Bobby would do something like this. I knew he wasn’t in any hurry to come home, which is why I didn’t push him to set a date for the wedding. After four years on the road, I thought he was getting ready to settle down. How could I have known… ?” Her voice trailed off, leaving her feeling so empty. The life she thought she’d had was no longer there. What could she do to create an alternate future? The thought was scary, no matter what she chose.

“Come with me, Maribeth. Give me the opportunity to show you what’s out there on the horizon. Will you do that for me… and for yourself?”

“I don’t know, Chris. Everything is happening at once. This must be how a person would feel when they’re enjoying the scenic countryside and then suddenly step on a land mine. My world’s just exploded into little pieces.”

He kissed her again, a gentle, soothing touch that still set all her senses on red alert.

“Give me the chance to help put your life back together, will you?” he murmured. “I don’t want to leave here with you feeling so shattered.”

“And how do I explain the switch to people?”

“It’s too late to say much, isn’t it? If you agree to marry me, you don’t really need to make any explanations. Everyone will come to see you get married as planned. You’ll still be getting married. Only the groom will be different.”

“You don’t think they’ll notice?” she asked, almost laughing at the idea. “Chris, this isn’t some kind of play where suddenly the understudy has to fill in.”

“Maybe not, but it would certainly give the people in the county something to talk about for years to come.”

“Oh, Chris, how could I have forgotten your crazy sense of humor?”

“If you’ll marry me, you’ll be able to stay in closer touch to be reminded.”

“I must be out of my mind. I’m actually considering the idea.”

That was as much as he could hope for. He didn’t want to push his luck. “Why don’t I take you home? You’re exhausted and still in shock. I’ll spend the night at my family’s place and we’ll talk tomorrow. See how you feel about things then. A good night’s sleep will do wonders for you.”

“I’m not sure I could sleep. I don’t know how I could get my mind to slow down. It seems to be running off in all directions.”

He gathered up the blanket and led her back to the car. Once inside, he took her hand. “I just want you to remember that you don’t have to deal with this on your own. I’m here for you. I want to help. You know that I’ll accept whatever you decide, but I want you to consider my offer. Will you do that for me?”

Her face was a pale blur in the dark. He couldn’t read her expression. “I can’t believe you’d be willing to make such a sacrifice.”

“Sacrifice?”

“Marrying me.”

His laugh was self-mocking even though she wasn’t aware of it. “Someday I hope to convince you that marrying you is definitely not my idea of a sacrifice.”

He started the car and backed around, taking the road back to the highway. He was encouraged by the fact that she had left her hand in his. It remained there all the way back to the ranch.

“Well, there you are,” Megan said when Maribeth walked into the house. “I was wondering if we needed to send out a search party for you.”

Maribeth kept her head down, hoping Megan wouldn’t notice her face. She still clutched Chris’s handkerchief in her hand.

“We just got to talking,” she replied, her voice sounding hoarse in her ears, “and didn’t notice the time.”

They were in the kitchen and Maribeth opened the refrigerator as though looking for something to eat.

“Well, it’s a good thing Bobby’s not the jealous type. Otherwise he might have something to say about his fiancée disappearing for hours with his best friend.” When Maribeth continued to stare sightlessly into the refrigerator, Megan added, “I saved you a plate. It’s on the bottom shelf.”

“Thanks.” Maribeth’s reply was muffled.

“Are you getting a cold? You sound funny.” Megan took the plate out of Maribeth’s hands and looked at her. “And your face is all blotchy. Have you been crying?”

“For Pete’s sake, Megan. I’m twenty-six years old. I don’t need you mothering me any longer. Would you give it a rest?”

Megan blinked in surprise. Maribeth knew she was acting out of character, but she wasn’t ready to discuss the news she’d received with anyone at the moment. For that matter, she couldn’t imagine a time when she’d be ready to tell the family that Bobby Metcalf had cared so little for her that he had blithely run off and married somebody else days before their wedding.

She watched Megan put the plate of food in the microwave and set the timer. The silence in the kitchen became oppressive to her.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you,” Maribeth finally said, sitting down at the table and gently rubbing her swollen eyelids. “My eyes have been watering. I guess I could be getting a cold.”

Megan poured a glass of iced tea and set it down in front of her. “At the risk of sounding too motherly once again, I’d suggest that you take a hot bath after dinner and get to bed early. You certainly don’t want to be coughing and sneezing on Saturday.”

The microwave pinged and Maribeth jumped up to get there first. “Good idea. I think I’ll do that,” she muttered, carrying her plate and silverware to the table.

“Do you want me to stay with you while you eat?”

Maribeth knew that her sister was just trying to be polite. Normally Maribeth would have enjoyed her company. But not now. Now, all she wanted was to be left alone.

“That’s okay, sis. But thanks for the offer.” She kept her eyes on her food.

Once Megan left the kitchen Maribeth tried her best to eat. She knew she couldn’t choke down much of it, but Megan’s attitude was just a small sample of what she could expect, magnified a few dozen times, if she told her family what had happened. She could almost visualize what would happen. Megan would immediately get on the phone to Mollie. Then her sisters would tell their husbands. She wouldn’t put it past Travis and Deke to round up a posse of angry friends and neighbors and go after Bobby with the intention of lynching him.

Even the children would get into the act in their own way—trying to comfort her with pats and special little gifts.

How could she possibly deal with all of that? Chris was right. She needed to get away from here. Maybe she would leave for a while. She could go anywhere. She’d been faithfully saving the money Travis paid her, knowing she’d need money once she and Bobby were married. She could take the money and go to Houston, or maybe San Antonio… or Dallas.

Of course, she could go to Dallas without actually living with Chris. At least he would be there close by. She could find an apartment, maybe find a job somewhere. She could—

Just who was she fooling? She’d never been on her own in her life! She’d always had friends and family around her, looking after her, caring for her, babying her.

The truth was that she’d been spoiled by everyone. She barely remembered her parents. What stood out in her memory from that awful time was how upset Megan and Mollie had been. It was only later that she understood that the three of them could have been split up and put into foster homes.

None of those memories seemed real to her now. She’d grown up with Mollie taking care of the house and meals and Megan working the ranch.

What, exactly, had she contributed to the group?

A big fat zero.

She’d blithely played with her friends, tagged along behind Bobby and Chris, worked with her 4-H projects and planned her future around Bobby Metcalf.

It was almost as if Bobby’s actions had forced her to stop and take a cold, hard look at herself.

She didn’t like what she saw.

By the time Megan and Mollie had reached her age, they were wives and mothers, running households, being responsible.

She was still playing with her animals and getting paid for it.

Maribeth looked down at her plate and realized that she’d eaten every bite of food on it. So much for all the agonized suffering she was doing. It certainly hadn’t affected her appetite.

What she was doing was sitting there feeling sorry for herself, feeling picked on because she had a sister who was concerned about her, knowing how the family would rally around her if she told them the truth.