Читать книгу Second Chance With The Single Mum - Annie Claydon - Страница 12

THERE HAD BEEN a time when Raina’s touch would have made everything all right. Instead, Alistair opted for standing under the shower for half an hour, trying to wash off the smell of the river.

An impenetrable barrier stood between them now. Raina had brought him such happiness, and when she’d left he’d felt nothing but pain and grief. Turning to his work as a way out had only reinforced his belief that he could never be the husband and father he wanted to be.

Alistair scrubbed his body with a towel and put on clean clothes. Somehow a trace of the river still remained, but if he ignored it then it would probably go away. His eyes still stung a little, and he blinked as he picked up the slip of paper that Raina had left.

Raina Elliot... He noticed that she was using her maiden name now. That wasn’t much of a surprise, particularly since her niece’s surname was Elliot too. If nothing else it sent a message for the little girl who was now her daughter.

‘Raina Duvall. You like it...?’

He’d whispered the words in her ear as they’d danced together on their wedding night, and she’d smiled up at him.

‘I love it. What else do you think I married you for?’

He’d known then that there had been many other things. Love had just about covered it. True love. Devoted love. Making love...

And when he’d given his name to her, he’d suddenly begun to like it a lot more. Up until then it had just been something he’d inherited from his father, along with a chunk of DNA and a propensity to spend all his energies at work.

But Raina had taken the name and made it hers. She had been a creature of warm summer days who’d left the taste of cool raindrops on his lips. Her ability to occasionally thunder and roar had all been a part of her free spirit, and when the storm had passed, everything would be washed clean. Raina had shown her feelings in a way that he’d never been able to, and that was what had broken them apart.

That, and Alistair’s failure. He hadn’t known his father all that well, but his mother had always told him that he was a lot like him. Being like his father meant he’d be a good provider, Alistair had grown up in a comfortable, affluent home. It also meant that his family would always take second place to his work. Alistair could barely recall one childhood memory that included his father.

When Raina had unexpectedly become pregnant, Alistair had tried to tell himself that he just wasn’t ready, as if somehow the passage of time might change his nature. The truth of it was that he was more like his father than he wanted to admit, driven and wrapped up with his work. He’d been busy at work, his phone switched off, on the day that Raina had lost their baby. If there was one thing in his life that Alistair could go back and change, it would be that. Raina had gone through all that agony alone.

The thing he wouldn’t change was letting her go. There was someone out there who could be a father for the children Raina wanted so badly, and it was only right that Alistair should step aside, however much it hurt.

He picked up his phone, tapping her number into the contacts list. He’d always thought that Raina would become a mother in less tragic circumstances. But the love he’d seen on her face when she’d shown him the photographs of her little girl told Alistair that she wouldn’t be bound by regrets.

That probably included him as well. And wanting to hear her voice, wanting to feel her cool fingers washing him clean, wasn’t the way to go. She’d asked him to text and that was what he’d do. He typed in a message telling her that he was home, and his phone pinged almost immediately.

You okay?

No, not really. The aches and pains in his body were nothing. The ache in his heart wouldn’t go away.

Yes. Fine, thanks.

That was the end of it. Alistair sent the text and then realised that he had a question of his own.

You delivered the application?

Yes. Heidi said she’d give it straight to Gabriel.

Good. Gabriel would probably have read it by now, and Alistair should give him a call.

Thanks. We’ll be in touch.

Thank you. Again.

That didn’t really require an answer. Alistair closed the text screen and dialled Gabriel’s number.

* * *

At the other end of the line, Raina was frowning. It was all very well to keep this on a businesslike footing, but Alistair seemed to be going out of his way to deflect any enquiries about his well-being.

‘Mummy...’ Anya was sitting in the bath, and she reached up, brushing Raina’s face with her hand. Her instinctive grasp of how Raina was feeling surpassed her ability to understand those feelings.

‘It’s just a text, sweetie.’

‘Who texted, Mummy?’

Raina made a face at Anya, and she giggled, splashing her bath water all over Raina’s shirt. ‘It was someone I went to see today while you were at Grandma’s house. His name is Alistair.’

‘Is he naughty?’

‘Yes. Very... But we’re not going to worry about that. Let’s get you out of the bath now and into your pyjamas.’

‘Naughty Alistair,’ Anya chirped, and Raina winced. She’d spoken without thinking. Perhaps if she didn’t say the word naughty for the next week, then Anya would forget all about that. If they did get through the selection process, she didn’t want Anya referring to Alistair as naughty while he was in earshot.

‘No, sorry, sweetie, I got it wrong. It’s really nice Alistair.’

‘Did you send him kisses?’

‘No, kisses are just for when we text Grandma.’ Kisses would be asking for trouble. Asking for the kind of heartbreak that should only be experienced once in a lifetime, as a lesson on what to avoid the next time around.

‘Then he must be naughty...’ Anya gave her a cheeky grin and Raina’s heart melted. Lifting Anya out of the bath, she wrapped her in a towel, hugging her tight. Kisses were off limits and so was any kind of naughtiness. The only person that mattered was Anya.

* * *

‘Is that Raina?’

‘Yes.’ Raina had been grabbing at her phone every time it had rung for the last few days, and every time she did, it wasn’t Alistair. This time was no exception.

‘My name’s Gabriel DeMarco. I work with Alistair at The Watchlight Trust, and he’s passed your application for your daughter on to me. I understand that you’re interested in taking part in our trials for the prosthetic limbs project.’

‘Yes...yes, I am.’ Raina held her breath, sitting back on her heels. Anya continued with the task of scooping soil into the plant pots that were laid out in front of them on the lawn, blithely unaware that her life might be about to change.

‘We’d like to explore that possibility a little further. If you’re still interested?’

‘Yes!’ She probably shouldn’t shout at him on the phone. Anya looked up at her and echoed the word, squealing with laughter. ‘Sorry...yes, I am still interested.’

Gabriel’s deep chuckle sounded in her ear. ‘You both sound as enthusiastic about the project as we are. There is one thing I’d like to discuss with you first, if you don’t mind. It’s a personal matter...’

Alistair. What had he said to Gabriel? Raina swallowed down her paranoia. She had no choice but to trust the man she’d once known so intimately. ‘You mean my relationship with Alistair?’

‘I do.’ Gabriel sounded a little relieved that he hadn’t had to explain. ‘Alistair’s taken a step back from the selection process, so as to avoid any possible conflict of interest. If Anya’s selected for the project, then I’ll be Anya’s doctor of record, and I’ll be responsible for prescribing the type of prosthetic that best suits her needs. But as Alistair’s heading up the project, you would inevitably find yourself working closely with him.’

It was all becoming a reality. Raina hadn’t dared think too much about the prospect of working with Alistair, but now she had to.

There was nothing for it but the truth. ‘Alistair and I have had our differences... obviously. But I’ve always respected him, and this means far too much to me to allow any personal issues to get in the way. I’d consider it a privilege to work with him.’

That would have to do. Raina held her breath, wondering if it was enough, and heard Gabriel’s deep chuckle at the other end of the line.

‘Since that’s pretty much what Alistair said, I think I can safely tick that question off my list. We’ve already interviewed a number of families for the project, and I’m wondering whether you’d be able to bring Anya in to see us tomorrow?’

‘Yes, any time that suits you...’ Raina felt her heart jolt up a notch. She and Anya had obviously made it through to the second stage of the process.

‘Eleven o’clock? You’ll be meeting with me and Maya Powell. Maya’s a consultant in rehabilitation medicine, and she’s collaborated with us before over the years. It’s not her intention to have any ongoing involvement with families selected for the project, but she’s donated some of her time to help with the screening and assessment process.’

In other words, Alistair wouldn’t be there. That was one hurdle that Raina didn’t have to negotiate just yet. ‘Eleven would be fine, thank you.’

‘Great, I’ll see you then. Would you choose a favourite toy for Anya and bring that along too. We’d like to get to know her...’

Raina sat, staring at the phone after Gabriel had ended the call. This was all good. It seemed that Alistair had kept his promise and wasn’t going to stand in their way.

‘We did it, Anya. I think it must have been that cute smile of yours.’

Anya was unimpressed. ‘Mummy, can we put the plants in the pots?’

Raina bent to kiss the little girl’s cheek. ‘Yes, we’re going to do it right now. And tomorrow we’re going on the train to see someone. Nice Gabriel.’

* * *

Gabriel was waiting for them in the reception area, a tall, dark-haired man whose natural expression seemed to be a smile. He ushered them through a bright, open-plan space to two glass-walled offices at the far end, making for the one that was shaded from view by blinds. As they entered, a woman rose from the informal seating area at one end.

‘Raina, this is Maya Powell.’

Both Gabriel and Maya were relaxed and smiling, and drinks and pastries were laid out on the coffee table, around which a sofa and two leather easy chairs were arranged. But Raina wasn’t fooled. This was serious business, and the child-friendly atmosphere was for Anya’s benefit.

Maya shook Raina’s hand and then bent down towards the little girl. ‘You must be Anya. I’m Maya. We have a drink for you here, if you’d like one.’

Anya whispered a hello, clinging to Raina’s hand and leaning against her legs. Raina resisted the impulse to push her forward, hoping she’d get over her shyness.

‘Would you like to play with your bricks, sweetie?’ She pulled the box of bricks from her bag, putting it on the coffee table, and Anya stared at it uncertainly.

‘Bricks...?’ When Raina turned, Gabriel’s eyes were shining. Sitting down on the sofa, he ran his finger across the top of the box. ‘Bricks are my favourite. Would you show me, Anya?’

His enthusiasm was so infectious Anya let go of Raina’s hand, running across to the box of bricks and opening it. Gabriel grinned, craning over to see inside, and Raina breathed a sigh of relief as Anya began to empty the box, showing Gabriel the bricks.

‘These are fantastic.’ He addressed his comment to no one in particular and then smiled at Raina. ‘I’ll be a father soon.’

Maya chuckled, rolling her eyes. ‘Is there anyone in London you haven’t managed to tell yet, Gabriel?’

‘No. Probably not.’ Gabriel was busy sorting out the bricks. ‘Where do you get these?’

‘You go to the shop and buy them.’ Anya’s tone implied that this was the kind of information that anyone should know.

‘Do you? Which shop?’

Anya shrugged and Raina supplied the answer. ‘You’ll find these in any toy shop. You won’t be needing them for a while, though. Congratulations.’ It was nice to see a man so happy at the prospect of becoming a father.

‘Thank you. We went for the three-month scan yesterday, and my wife’s given me the all-clear to share the news. It was a complete surprise.’

A lump settled in Raina’s throat. Her pregnancy had been a complete surprise too, but it would have been difficult to imagine Alistair making enquiries about building bricks, and unable to stop himself from telling everyone he met.

She’d never forgotten her lost child, but right now she had to think about Anya. Maya waved her to a seat, pouring the coffee. ‘We’ll go through the questions, shall we? While Anya’s keeping Gabriel amused.’

Maya’s questions were searching, but her gentle tone and her smile made them feel less challenging. Before long, they were simply talking, and Raina felt herself relax.

‘She manages very well...’ Gabriel’s occasional murmured interjections were all very much to the point. He was obviously listening, even if it seemed that his attention was solely focussed on Anya.

‘Yes, she does. But as a doctor, I know that many people with limb differences suffer from overuse issues in the long term. And I want to give her as many choices as I can.’

‘What choices?’ Maya asked.

‘I don’t know. She’ll tell me what she wants to do, when she wants to do it. I just want to be able to respond to that. If it takes time and money to make custom prosthetics, then that doesn’t allow her to try things out, the way that most children can.’

‘Good point.’ Gabriel flashed Raina a smile, and then went back to the structure that he and Anya had built.

* * *

Alistair had been at a loss all morning. He’d decided that he should make himself scarce during Raina and Anya’s interview, and had gone upstairs to spend some time with the development team for the prosthetics project. But he’d struggled to hear everything that was said and keep up with the exchange of ideas. He’d ended up sitting in the corner, drinking coffee and thinking about Raina.

If Gabriel and Maya decided that another child was a better fit for the project, then this would be his last chance to see her. She’d disappear again, a face in the crowd that he’d looked for time and time again, and never found. He’d often thought of her, the mental picture including the child that she’d always wanted, and this might be his only opportunity to see that reality.

It would take a little planning if he was to bump into her on her way out. Hanging around in Reception bore no fruit, so he decided that he might return to his office, where he was sure to at least catch a glimpse of Raina and Anya when they left. As he walked towards it, he saw the door of Gabriel’s office open, and the beat of his heart started suddenly to thunder in his ears.

Then he saw Raina, joining Maya in the doorway. She was dressed in a pair of dark slacks with a cream blouse, the perfect choice for an informal interview. She looked stunning. A little girl in a blue and white summer dress ran to her side and Gabriel appeared, shaking Raina’s hand and then looking down as the child tugged at his sleeve.

Alistair held his breath, unable to move. Gabriel bent towards the child, and she planted a kiss on his cheek. Maya laughed, obviously making a joke of it, and Gabriel stood up again, grinning helplessly. Fierce jealousy wound its fingers around Alistair’s heart and squeezed hard. It should have been him...

No. It shouldn’t have been him. He’d already decided that he’d make just as bad a father as his own father had been, and that Raina would be happier with someone else.

Suddenly he didn’t want to see Raina after all, not with the daughter that looked so like her. But it was too late. Gabriel had looked up and was signalling for him to come over and join them. There was no way out, and Alistair forced himself to smile as he walked across the office.

* * *

The interview had gone well. Raina had said what she wanted to say, and answered all of Maya’s questions. She’d seen Gabriel nod a few times, and although he hadn’t said much perhaps he would support her candidacy. If Anya didn’t get a place on the project, then at least Raina could tell herself that she’d done her best.

And then... Alistair. Standing at the far end of the office as she said her goodbyes to Gabriel and Maya. It would have been a great deal better if she hadn’t known him so well, because then she would have mistaken the smile he was wearing as one of surprised welcome.

‘Raina. It’s good to see you again.’ The way his thumb tapped against the side of the tablet computer he carried gave him away. Something was bothering Alistair.

‘And you. This is Anya.’

Anya was looking up at him, curious about this new person.

‘Yes, of course. Hello, Anya.’

He could barely look at her. Alistair had shown more genuine concern for the child he’d pulled out of the Thames than he did for Anya. Raina bit back the temptation to shake him and demand that he do a little more than just acknowledge her daughter’s presence.

Maybe he was just trying a bit too hard to step back. No decisions had been made yet, and he didn’t want to betray any bias. She shouldn’t either, which meant that the swelling around the cut on his face and the consequent bruising under his eye was out of bounds as a topic of conversation.

‘Your eye’s looking better, Alistair. How does it feel now?’ Maya asked the question that Raina didn’t dare to.

‘Much better, thanks. The antibiotics that Gabriel prescribed have done the trick.’ Alistair had the grace to look a little sheepish. ‘I really should have listened to Raina.’

‘Yes, you should...’ The words escaped her lips before Raina had a chance to swallow them down, and Anya looked up at Alistair.

‘Naughty Alistair.’

It could have been worse. At least Anya’s words hadn’t come right out of the blue, and Gabriel chuckled.

‘That’s right, Anya. My thoughts exactly.’ Gabriel ignored Alistair’s glare and Raina’s reddening cheeks.

‘We should be going.’ She found Anya’s hand, gripping it tight. ‘Thank you so much for your time. I really appreciate your seeing us.’

‘It’s been a pleasure. Thank you for letting me play with your bricks, Anya.’

‘You’re welcome,’ Anya piped up again, and this time everyone smiled.

Handshakes were exchanged, and Raina hurried Anya away, leaving Gabriel and Maya to follow Alistair into the office next door to Gabriel’s. She was trembling, Alistair’s quiet words when they’d parted had made her heart beat even faster than it had when she’d first seen him. Good luck. If that meant what she thought it did, then the awkwardness of their meeting was something that could be set aside. It was Gabriel and Maya’s decision whether Anya would be accepted onto the project, but Alistair had made his own position very clear.