Читать книгу Sultry Nights: Mistress to the Merciless Millionaire / The Savakis Mistress / Ruthless Tycoon, Inexperienced Mistress - Эбби Грин, Annie West - Страница 11
CHAPTER FOUR
ОглавлениеTIARNAN’S mouth came down onto Kate’s with all the devastation of a match being put to a dry piece of tinder. Ten years of build-up exploded inside her. Her hands curled into his chest and he pulled her so close to his body that all she could feel was rock-hard muscle and his arousal. Kate could feel moisture gather between her legs and she moved unconsciously, as if she could assuage the need building there.
With a move she wasn’t even aware of Tiarnan shifted them, so that Kate was now sitting on the table and he was leaning over her. Eyes closed, Kate could only feel and experience, and give herself up to the onslaught on her senses. Tiarnan’s hands were in her hair, around her face. His mouth was relentless, not breaking contact, his tongue stabbing deep—and she was as insatiable as he.
Her arms wound up around his neck, clinging, hands tangling in his short silky hair. She finally broke her mouth away for a brief moment, sucking in harsh breaths. Her heart hammered as she felt Tiarnan’s hands move down, moulding over her waist, cupping under her buttocks, pulling her into him even more.
She opened her eyes, but they felt heavy, Tiarnan’s face was close, his breath feathering across her face, his mouth hovering. Feeling bereft, Kate reached up again and pressed her mouth feverishly to his, her whole body arching into Tiarnan’s, revelling in his hard strength. No other man had ever made her feel so hot, so sensual.
Tiarnan’s hands went to her shirt and she could feel him open the buttons, fingers grazing her skin, the curve of her breasts. She didn’t protest—she couldn’t. Impatient to touch him too, she pushed his shirt off completely, so his chest was bare, and ran her hands over the smooth skin of his shoulders. She felt the muscles move under his skin as his hands pushed aside her shirt. His mouth left hers and blazed a trail of kisses down over her jaw and neck. Kate’s head fell back. All she was aware of was here and now and how badly she craved this touch. His touch.
Tiarnan’s arm supported her as he tipped her off balance slightly so she leant further back. His mouth was on the upper slope of her breast and all her nerve-endings seemed to have gathered at the tip, so tight it hurt.
When she felt him pull down her bra strap and then her bra to expose her breast, her breath stopped. Tiarnan cupped the voluptuous mound with one hand, his thumb passing back and forth over the hard aching tip. Kate bit her lip and looked down. She was breathing fast, one hand behind her, trying to balance, clenched into the table as if that could stop her tipping over the edge of this sensation. Between her legs she burned, and she could feel herself fighting the urge to push into Tiarnan’s body.
‘So beautiful …’ he breathed, looking down at her cupped breast with its pouting dusky peak.
Before Kate could gather her fractured thoughts and steady her breathing he lowered his head and his mouth closed over her nipple. She let out a long moan somewhere between torture and heaven as he drew it into the hot cavern of his mouth and suckled.
This felt so right—as if they had been transported back in time and this was a natural progression of that kiss. And yet … it shouldn’t be. Not after ten years. How could ten years of other experiences be obliterated so easily? Wiped out as if they hadn’t even existed?
It was that tiny sliver of rationality seeping into her head that woke Kate from her sensual trance. She became aware of the fact that she was practically supine on the kitchen table, and when she felt Tiarnan’s hand search for and find the button on her jeans, about to flick it open, she struggled upwards, battling a fierce desire to just give in.
‘No … no, Tiarnan. Stop.’ Her hands were on his arms, pushing him back.
After a long moment he stood up, chest heaving, cheeks flushed, eyes glittering. Kate knew she wasn’t much more composed. She dropped her hands. Her voice felt raw.
‘We can’t do this. Rosie might wake and find us … or Esmerelda.’
He looked at her for a long moment and finally took a step back, raking a hand through his short hair. He emanated veritable waves of danger, his face stark with a raw masculine beauty that nearly made Kate throw herself back into his arms. But she didn’t.
She stood from the table on shaky legs and pulled her bra up, her shirt together, turning her back to him for a moment. She felt dizzy.
His voice cut through her dizziness. ‘A few moments more and here would have done fine … But you’re right. This isn’t the time or the place.’
She rejected the almost violent need that beat through her body. She knew he was right; a few more moments and here would have been fine. Anywhere would have been fine. The rug in front of the fire. Any feeling of exhilaration that their desire had been mutual was lost in the humiliation that burned her again. Her voice was fierce.
‘There won’t be a time or place, Tiarnan.’
Kate felt a hard hand on her arm and she was pulled around to face him. His face was glowering down at her, taut with a frustrated need that had to be reflected on hers too.
‘How can you deny what just happened here?’
Tiarnan saw Kate’s eyes widen and he let her go. The force of need running through him was so strong he was actually afraid he couldn’t contain it. She’d felt like nothing he could describe or articulate in his arms. Soft and fragrant and pliant … and so passionate. But he was shocked to come to his senses and acknowledge that if she hadn’t stopped him he would be taking her right now on the kitchen table, overhead lights blazing down, like some overgrown teenager who couldn’t wait.
Where was his sophistication? His cool logical approach to such matters? She’d had to remind him about Rosie. She stood, holding her shirt together, hair tousled over her shoulders, her cheeks flushed, lips red and engorged with blood. His hormones were already raging back to life. He had to get a grip.
Kate struggled to close her shirt. She felt as though she’d just been through some kind of seismic earth shift. She watched as Tiarnan’s face closed down. He bent to pick up his shirt, muscles rippling across his back, and when he put it on her eye was drawn to the rip and the dark stain of blood. Her belly clenched. She couldn’t answer his words. Couldn’t deny what had happened.
She looked down, struggling with her bottom button, feeling tears threaten. God. How could she have been so unutterably weak?
‘Kate.’
She composed herself and finally closed the button before looking up. She hoped her face was blank, her eyes giving nothing away. She couldn’t count on her years of training around Tiarnan any more. Her control was shot to pieces.
His shirt was back on, haphazardly done up, making Kate’s heart turn over and making her want to do it up properly for him. She clenched her hands by her sides, fought the urge to tidy her hair, which was all over the place.
His eyes snared hers. She couldn’t look away. Her mind blanked.
‘I never meant to leap on you the minute I walked in the door … but you can see what happens between us …’
‘I—’
His face tightened. ‘Don’t deny it, Kate. At least don’t do that.’
Kate shut her mouth. She hadn’t been sure what she was going to say, but he was right. She’d been about to try and make some excuse for what had happened.
Tiarnan turned away and paced for a moment, before coming back to stand right in front of her. He looked grim. ‘I was going to ask you tomorrow, but it seems as if now is as good a time as any.’
‘Ask me what …?’ Kate said nervously.
‘Rosie’s school is giving them some holidays from the day after tomorrow while they do some unavoidable renovation work. We’re going to our house in Martinique. I’d like you to come with us.’
Kate could feel herself pale. She took a step back and started shaking her head, her heart beating fast.
Tiarnan watched her. ‘You know why I’m asking you, Kate. You know what will happen if you say yes. But know this—if you say no, if you insist on returning to New York tomorrow, it won’t change anything … I’m not letting you go. Not when we have unfinished business between us. Not when we have this.’
He reached out a hand and cupped her cheek. Immediate heat suffused her whole body and electricity made the air between them crackle. He was determined. Nevertheless, she had to hang onto some control. She pulled down his hand and stepped back.
‘I need to leave here by eleven to catch my flight. I’d appreciate it if you could call a cab for me in the morning.’
Kate saw Tiarnan’s jaw clench, but he just said, ‘You won’t need a cab. I’ll take you if you want to go. If you want to go.’
‘I will—’
Tiarnan cut her off, changed tack, and surprised himself when he said, ‘When I went in to check on Rosie earlier she looked more peaceful than she’s done in weeks.’
Kate shook her head, her heart constricting. ‘Tiarnan, don’t do this.’
Surprise at that admission, and at the way Kate was reacting, made him sound harsh. ‘Look, you did me a huge favour minding Rosie. You’ve got time off, and you probably haven’t had a holiday in months …’
Years, she said in her head, and right now it felt as if she’d been running from something for years. That sense of peace that had been stealing over her these last couple of days was elusively seductive, but there was no way she would relax around this man.
‘I would like you to come on holiday with us. I spoke to Rosie on the phone about it earlier, and she said she’d love to have you come. I asked her not to say anything until I’d spoken to you … Just sleep on it, OK? And let me know in the morning.’
His tone brooked no argument. Pure arrogance. Kate felt tense.
‘Fine. Tell yourself what you want. I know what I’ll be doing tomorrow.’
Escaping from you again.
Kate backed away while she could and turned away. And felt as if she were being hounded by jeering voices all the way to her room.
Tiarnan watched the space Kate had left for a long moment. She’d rapidly taken up a place in his life he wasn’t used to women occupying. He’d already drawn her into an intimate space that no other woman had occupied just by inviting her here, by letting her take care of Rosie. Apart from family, his wife was the only other woman who’d been that close; familiar darkness filled his chest. She didn’t count.
And even his wife had never taken such control of his every waking and sleeping thought as Kate was beginning to. He tried to rationalise that moment in New York when in the middle of an important meeting his mind had wandered helplessly and he’d had the lightbulb inspiration of asking Kate to join them on holiday. How right it had felt.
He’d tried to tell himself that it was for Rosie as much as himself; he was becoming more and more acutely aware, as she grew older, of the lack of a solid female role model in her life. Yet he’d never introduce anyone into their intimate circle who Rosie wasn’t completely comfortable with. When he’d mentioned asking Kate along on holiday to Rosie she’d been more excited about the prospect than she’d been about anything in weeks. The fact that they’d obviously bonded merely comforted him that he’d made the right decision. And he did genuinely feel grateful to Kate for stepping in to care for Rosie at such short notice. But he knew that for all his high-minded intentions a much baser desire lay behind the sudden impetus to ask her to come. He just wanted her in one place: in his bed, underneath him.
He recalled her obvious shock at the suggestion and felt curiously vulnerable before he quashed it ruthlessly. He had to wonder if this playing hard to get was just a game. Punishment for his earlier rejection? Or foreplay because she knew she was going to give in? A stab of disappointment ran through him; he didn’t want that, but couldn’t articulate why he couldn’t accept that calculated behaviour from her when he might expect it from another woman. Conflicting emotions rose up, muddying the clarity of his thought, his intention.
One thing was clear: he wanted to keep Kate close until such time as he could let her go again, and he knew that day would come. He couldn’t fathom any woman ever taking up that much space for ever. He’d never felt that way about anyone.
His conscience pricked. There had been one moment—that night ten years ago, when Kate had all but admitted she was a virgin. The realisation had tapped into something within him and he’d felt compelled to pull back, push her away. He’d found himself reacting from a place of shock—shock at how immediate and raw his response had been. And he’d been more curt than he had intended. The flare of wounded emotion in her eyes had seared through him, but after a moment it had been as if he’d imagined it.
And then her cool response had been all the proof he’d needed that she was exactly the same as every other woman. That momentary weakness he’d felt had been a lesson learnt—a lesson he’d needed in those months afterwards when he’d dealt with his duplicitous wife. If anything, what he’d experienced with Kate and subsequently with Stella had merely reinforced his own cynical belief system.
No, all he and Kate had was history—unfinished business. Thinking of how much he wanted her made him feel ruthless, and he never usually felt ruthless when it came to women. They didn’t arouse such passionate feelings. Grim determination filled him as he refused to look any deeper into those feelings. Bed Kate and get her out of his system. There was nothing more to it than that. And if she said yes tomorrow she’d only be proving to him that all this was a playful front. And that was fine. It was all he wanted—wasn’t it?
Kate lay on her back as the pre-dawn light stole into her bedroom, a tight knot low in her belly. She’d tossed and turned all night. And now she lay gritty-eyed, staring up at the ceiling.
Turmoil couldn’t even begin to describe what she’d been going through in the wee small hours. As if she even had to think about Tiarnan’s offer: of course she would not be going with him to some tropical island paradise to indulge in an affair. Yet, instead of feeling at peace with her decision, she was back in time and standing before Tiarnan in that library, with nothing but the firelight illuminating the room.
At the age of eighteen Kate, despite the fact that she’d been modelling on the international circuit for a couple of years and living in London, had still been unbelievably gauche and unsure of herself. But she’d learnt the art of projecting a cool, dignified façade from an early age, and she used it like an armour.
Kate had accepted Sorcha’s plea to come and spend Christmas with her and her mother in Dublin; her own mother had been on holiday with a new husband. When Tiarnan had shown up unexpectedly for the family Christmas party, Kate’s world had instantly imploded. She’d been in awe of him since he’d dropped her and Sorcha off at school one Sunday evening in his snazzy sports car. All the other girls in the boarding school had swooned that day. But Kate, as Sorcha’s friend, had got to see a lot more of Tiarnan than the others. And as the years had progressed she’d developed a crush of monumental proportions.
The night of that party, after only seeing him fleetingly at his father’s funeral some months before, and not for quite a while before that, to her he’d become even more handsome, more charismatic, with that cynical edge he still possessed today. Kate had been wearing a dress borrowed from Sorcha, far too tight and short for her liking, and had spent the evening avoiding Tiarnan’s penetrating speculative gaze, trying to pull the dress down to cover her thighs. Feeling utterly overwhelmed, and not a little dismayed at her reaction to seeing him again when she’d hoped she would have grown out of such feelings, Kate had slipped away to try and compose herself.
She’d gone into the library, ran smack-bang into Tiarnan, and all good intentions had disappeared instantly. Her crush had solidified there and then into pure grown-up lust. But then something amazing had happened. Alone in that darkened room … looking into his eyes … she’d sensed instinctively that he was looking at her for the first time as an adult. She’d seen it in the quality of his gaze when he’d arrived to the party—it was what had made her feel so self-conscious.
Realising this had been headier than the most potent drink. An electric awareness had sprung to life between them and she’d experienced a feeling of confidence for the first time in her life. A heady female confidence. The kind of confidence she faked for photographers and on the catwalk every day. She was tired of faking it. She wanted to know it. And she’d known that the only man who could teach her—who she wanted to teach her—was standing right in front of her. She’d known if she didn’t seize the moment then, she never would. With that brand-new confidence something reckless had gripped her, and she’d stepped up to Tiarnan and boldly told him she wanted him. And then she’d kissed him.
Kate cringed now in the bed, ten years later, as it all flooded back. To have Tiarnan respond to her untutored kisses had been the most potent aphrodisiac. He’d pulled her close and she’d gone up in flames, pressing herself even closer to him. It had only been when his hand had found the hem of her dress and started to pull it up that reality had intruded for a rude moment. She’d instinctively frozen, becoming acutely aware of her lack of experience and the fact that a very aroused Tiarnan Quinn was about to make love to her. In an instant he’d pulled back and put her away from him with hard hands on her shoulders, looking down at her with glittering angry eyes.
Her heart thudded. So much had happened that night. Whatever romantic notions she might have entertained for a brief moment had been ruthlessly ripped apart within minutes.
She’d looked down, mortified and he’d ruthlessly tipped up her chin and asked brutally, ‘Kate, are you a virgin?’
The flare of colour she had felt rising in her cheeks had told him her answer as eloquently as speaking it out loud. He’d spun away towards the fire, turning his back to her for a long moment. Their breathing had been harsh in the quiet room. She could remember how loudly her heart had been beating.
In that moment while he’d turned away Kate had struggled to claw back some composure. Some semblance of dignity. The fact that he was rejecting her was blatantly obvious.
He’d finally turned back to face her, tall and proud, every line in his body rigid. Kate had forced herself to face him, and the coldly speculative gleam tinged with concern in his eyes had been an instant master class in making her realise just how naïve she’d been.
And then he’d said, ‘Kate—look. I’m not sure what just happened—hell. ‘He’d run a hand through his hair and his expletive had made her flinch. His eyes had speared her again. ‘I don’t sleep with friends of my sister. You’re just a kid, Kate, what the hell were you thinking?’
Tears had pricked behind Kate’s eyes at the unfairness of that statement. Until just moments ago he’d been with her all the way … And then for an awful moment she doubted that it had even happened the way she’d thought. Had he in fact been trying to push her away all along, and she’d been so ardent she hadn’t even noticed? A sensation of excruciating vulnerability had crawled up her spine and she’d called on every single bit of training she possessed. All the years of her mother instructing her not to show emotion, to be pretty and placid.
‘Look, Tiarnan, it’s no big deal. I just wanted …’
She’d racked her shocked and malfunctioning brain for something to say—something to make it seem as if she didn’t care. As if kissing him hadn’t been the single most cataclysmic thing that had ever happened to her. Because he was Tiarnan Quinn, and he didn’t do tender kissing scenes with his little sister’s best friend and she should have realised that …
She repeated her words and shrugged. ‘I just wanted to kiss you.’ She felt exposed and numb. Cold. ‘I wanted to lose my virginity, and you … well, I know you, and it seemed—’
Tiarnan had jerked back as if shot, staring down at her with eyes as cold as ice. ‘What? As if I’d do because I was handy and available? You don’t pull your punches, Kate …’
His face was stonily impenetrable. ‘Do you know, it’s funny,’ he said, almost to himself. ‘I might have actually assumed for a moment that you were different …’ He shook his head. ‘But women never cease to amaze me. Even an innocent like you.’
He’d come close, making a violent tremor go through her whole body, before he’d casually picked up his dinner jacket from where she had pushed it off his shoulders onto the floor. His voice had been so cold it had made her shiver, her hands clench tight.
‘Go and find yourself a boy your own age, Kate. He’ll be much more gentle and understanding than I ever could be.’
And then he’d cupped her chin with his big hand, forcing her gaze upwards to his. She’d gritted her jaw against his fingers.
‘And when you’ve finished with him, go easy on the others … you’re undoubtedly a consummate seductress in the making. I’ve already met the mature version of the woman you’ll undoubtedly become.’
And within a scant week of that soul-destroying little speech, before Kate had had time to gather the tattered shreds of her dignity, news had broken of Tiarnan’s impending parenthood with his South American ex-girlfriend. Rumours had abounded of upcoming nuptials, which had shortly afterwards been confirmed. Evidently his most recent association with the dark beauty Stella Rios had resulted in more than a kiss goodbye. And, even more evidently, renowned playboy and bachelor Tiarnan Quinn was happy to settle down overnight and avoid the clumsy moves of a woman like her.
Kate sighed. Raking up the past was no help, but the memories were still so fresh, the hurt still like a deep raw wound. That night she’d attempted to play with fire and had been badly burnt. She’d been shocked at how deeply Tiarnan’s cynicism had run. His easy cruelty had dealt her a harsh first lesson in allowing herself to be vulnerable. And the fact that he’d read her so wrong had hurt more than she could say.
When would she ever be free of his hold over her? Especially now that he’d made it obvious he still desired her? At least before she hadn’t had to contend with being the target of Tiarnan’s attention … and she knew how determined he could be. He hadn’t made his fortune and become one of the most influential men in the world through lack of determination. Now that he knew her weakness for him he would pursue her with single-mindedness until she gave in. Until she was powerless before him.
A flutter of traitorous excitement snuck into her belly, cancelling out the knot of tension even as Kate tried to reject the accompanying thought—a mere dark whisper of a suggestion: What if she gave in? She immediately rejected the audacious thought outright, aghast that her sense of pride had even let it surface.
But it wouldn’t go, staying and growing bigger in her mind with obstinate persistence. And with it came an awful feeling of rightness, of inevitability. A surge of desire flared in the pit of her belly, between her legs, all the stronger because she’d been so desperately suppressing it.
But what if she looked at it as Tiarnan was so obviously looking at it? He had no idea she’d never really got over that night—had no idea and never would know that he’d hurt her so deeply. He had no idea that she’d all but believed herself to have become frigid. And he had no idea that last night had proved to her that she wasn’t frigid; she was just inexplicably bound to one man. Him. A playboy who could never give her the stability she needed, who would undoubtedly hurt her all over again.
Kate clenched her fists, a sense of anger rising at his implicit power over her. Maybe she needed to play him at his own game? Perhaps the only way she could ever truly get over Tiarnan would be to give in? Allow this seduction. Render his hold over her impotent by sating her desire. It had to be because that kiss that night had assumed mythical proportions in her head. Despite her reaction to him just last night, who was to say if it went further he wouldn’t have exactly the same effect as every other man had had? Ultimately one of disappointment.
If she slept with him—if she got him out of her system and negated his hold over her, restored the balance of his initial rejection—perhaps then she could walk away, not look back, and find the peace and happiness she craved in her life. Find someone to love, settle down with.
She’d had a fantasy vision of the life she wanted to create for herself ever since she’d been a small girl and had realised that her mother loved herself far more than she loved her, and that her father cared only about his work—to the point where it eventually killed him prematurely. Her life would be as far from her emotionally barren childhood as she could get, and while she knew that a man like Tiarnan Quinn was never going to play the starring role in that scenario, was this in fact an opportunity to gain closure? His words last night came back to her: Unfinished business. Wasn’t that all he was to her too?
For the first time all night, as dawn broke in earnest outside, Kate felt peace steal over her like a complicit traitor.
‘Are you going to tell me what’s really going on?
Kate sat down heavily on her bed and bit her lip. Her knuckles were white around the mobile phone she held to her ear. Her open suitcase, half packed on the floor, said it all, and she didn’t have to look at the clock to know she’d already missed her flight to New York.
She closed her eyes. ‘Tiarnan’s invited me to go to Martinique with him and Rosie for a holiday, and I’ve said yes.’
‘Yes, I know that, Kate.’
Kate’s belly felt queasy. Sorcha never called her Kate unless she was upset.
Her friend continued. ‘I’ve just been talking to Tiarnan, and—oh, I don’t know—a few things aren’t exactly adding up: like the fact that little more than a week ago my brother paid a fortune to kiss you in front of hundreds of people when he avoided a public display of affection even on his wedding day; like you’re still in his house in Madrid and tomorrow you’re heading to a tropical paradise together.’
‘With Rosie too,’ Kate quickly asserted—as if that could save her now.
‘Kate Lancaster, please give me some credit.’
The hurt in her friend’s voice was unmistakable, and Kate’s heart clenched painfully.
‘Don’t you think it’s always been glaringly obvious to me that you’re never exactly overjoyed when Tiarnan is around? You close up tighter than an oyster protecting a pearl.’ Sorcha’s voice changed then, became more gentle. ‘Look, I know something happened between you two all those years ago in Dublin.’
Kate could feel the colour drain from her face. ‘Sorcha, I—’
Sorcha sighed audibly. ‘It’s OK, you don’t have to say anything. I just knew … and when you never said anything I didn’t want to push it. But I just … Katie, you were there for me when I needed you, and I always wished that you’d trusted me enough to be there for you too.’
Kate’s stomach had plummeted to the ground. ‘Sorch, I’m so sorry. I do trust you—of course I do … I just—he’s your brother, and I was just so mortified. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust you …’
‘OK, look, we can talk about it again—but right now just tell me: do you know what you’re doing?’
What could Kate say? She felt a bubble of hysteria rise. She was lurching between excoriating confusion and being absolutely sure that this was what she should be doing every two seconds. When she’d gone down to see Tiarnan in his study, after he’d come home from dropping Rosie to school, all rationality had flown out of the window. Yet despite her early-morning revelations, she’d been so determined to resist the awful temptation to give in and bring to life her greatest fantasy.
He’d stood from behind his desk, tall and intimidating, and so gorgeous that her mouth had dried up. Like watching a car crash in slow motion, she’d heard herself blurting out, ‘You said that night that you don’t sleep with your sister’s friends—so what’s changed?’
Instantly she’d cringed at how she’d given herself away so spectacularly, proving that she remembered every word he’d said.
Tiarnan had come around the desk slowly, to stand lethally close. His eyes so blue it had nearly hurt to look at him.
‘Everything. You’re no longer an innocent eighteen-year-old. You’ve matured into a beautiful woman and the boundaries I would have respected before around your friendship with my sister have changed too. She’s married, getting on with her own life … Don’t you want to do the same, Kate? Haven’t you always wondered what it would be like?’
Hurt lanced her at his uncanny ability to strike at the very heart of her most vulnerable self. And the fact that what he said underlined the biggest understatement of her life had rankled unbearably.
‘So I’m good enough to take to bed now, just to satisfy your curiosity, Tiarnan? From what I recall there were two of us in the room that night, and there was a significant amount of time before you called a halt to proceedings. To be perfectly honest, I don’t think I do want to give you the satisfaction of filling a void in your memory.’
And right at that moment Kate had felt as if she really did have the strength to walk away. The pain of his rejection was vivid all over again—right up until Tiarnan had hauled her into his chest, captured her close and kissed her, turning her world upside down and all her lofty intentions into dust. Desire had quickly burnt away any remaining paltry resistance.
He’d pulled back finally, when she’d been pliant and dazed in his arms, and said mockingly, ‘What about giving yourself the satisfaction, Kate? Can you be honest enough with yourself to do that?’
Shockingly aware of his arousal, and knowing with an awful sense of futility that she didn’t have the strength to walk away, she’d just said shakily, ‘If we do this, Tiarnan, it’s going to be on my terms. This affair ends when the holiday ends …’
‘Katie? Are you there? Did you hear me?’
Kate came back from the memory of the bone-shattering intensity of that kiss. ‘I heard you, Sorch. I know what I’m doing.’
She just hoped she sounded convincing.
‘Katie, you know Tiarnan almost as well as me. He’s always been adamant that he’s not going to settle down again. And I just don’t want—’
‘Sorcha.’ Kate cut her off before she could go any further. ‘Look, I know what to expect. I’m going into this with my eyes wide open. Please just trust me. It’s something we both need to … get closure on.’ She winced at how trite that sounded, even though they were exactly the words she’d used to rationalise all this to herself only hours before.
Kate heard a baby’s mewl in the background.
‘You’d better go, Sorch. Molly sounds like she’s waking up.’
Sorcha finally got off the phone, grumbling about the fact that she should have noticed that there’d been more to the tension between Kate and Tiarnan over the years than mutual antipathy.
Kate sat looking into space for a long moment. She knew that she couldn’t turn away from this now. She knew that this was the only likely way to even begin getting over Tiarnan properly. But she was very afraid that Sorcha was right: that as distant as she planned to keep herself from emotional involvement with Tiarnan, she was already fighting a losing battle …