Читать книгу The Best Of The Year - Modern Romance - Мишель Смарт, Annie West - Страница 32

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

‘BASTIEN, I’M NOT SURE what’s going on here.’

‘What’s going on is that I want you. You want me too. Stay with me.’

Ana replayed their simple yet life-changing morning-after conversation as she rose from the bed and walked towards the log fire in the luxurious log cabin Bastien had brought her to in Chamonix.

She had been like a prisoner granted a last-minute stay of execution, and her ecstatic, ‘Yes!’ had been lost beneath the onslaught of his hungry kisses.

He’d flown them here by helicopter and that ‘yes’ had echoed throughout the passing days. They spent the mornings skiing and doing her lessons. More than once his patience and gentle attention had brought tears to her eyes. The afternoons, evenings and long nights were spent making love in front of the roaring fire.

A deep blush stung her cheeks as she recalled Bastien asking if she now had a favourite position. She’d felt decidedly wanton as she’d demonstrated which position brought her the most pleasure.

‘I can see your blush from here.’

He stood in the bathroom doorway, naked except for the towel he was using on his wet hair.

‘It’s the fire,’ she responded, unable to stop her eyes devouring his perfect male form. He dropped the towel and strode towards her. His teasing grin stopped her heart moments before it began to thunder when he captured her mouth in a slow, devastating kiss.

‘Yes, it must be. Because you’re all hot and bothered.’ His smile deepened.

‘I’m not bothered,’ she answered feebly as his hands closed over her breasts. His thumbs played over her nipples. Ana swayed towards him, helpless against the drowning rush of love.

But that love was tainted with a niggle of fear that wouldn’t go away, a fear that her love would never be fully returned. Sure, he worshipped her body with an intensity that took her breath away, but her confession of love had never been returned. And she’d begun to notice his shuttered expression each time she confessed it.

The need to ask him hovered on her lips as he took her in his arms. Gathering her courage, she leaned back and looked into his eyes.

‘Bastien...’

He rested his forehead against hers. ‘Unless we want to be trapped here for the next few days we really must leave now.’

Heavy snow had been forecast, and while the thought of being snowed in with Bastien for the foreseeable future held intense appeal, the spectre of her trial loomed.

They hadn’t talked about it, but it was there at the back of her mind, growing larger with each passing day.

‘Hey, you’re biting your lip again. What’s wrong?’

‘It’s nothing.’ She tried to step away from him, but he held on to her.

Tender fingers brushed her cheek. ‘It’s not nothing. Tell me.’

Deciding to shelve the matter troubling her heart for now, in favour of the matter in her mind, she murmured, ‘It’s the trial. I’m scared.’

He pulled her closer and sealed her lips with a gentle kiss. ‘I didn’t want to jump the gun until I was absolutely sure, but I heard from my investigators a couple of days ago.’

Alarm spiked through her. ‘And?’

‘It’s not your mother,’ he replied.

A burden she hadn’t even known she carried was lifted off her shoulders as relief swamped her. The tears that seemed to hover close to the surface of her emotions nowadays prickled her eyes.

‘Thank you for telling me.’ She gave a small laugh. ‘You must think I’m hugely irrational when it comes to Lily. But she’s been texting me the last few days.’ She’d received many texts from her mother, the last one with a request to see Ana when she returned to London. ‘If we can salvage something from our messy relationship...’

‘I don’t think you’re irrational. It’s difficult to believe the worst of a parent. And I think we both know what can be salvaged from messy relationships,’ he replied.

His voice was solemn, but Ana noticed it contained none of the hard edge of before.

‘As for the trial—my investigators will know who the culprit is very shortly. Don’t worry about it. Whatever happens I’ll protect you, Ana. I promise you.’

Her heart lurched at his words. She paused, then decided to come clean. ‘I’m not dead certain, but I think it’s Simone.’

His mouth compressed and his arms tightened around her. ‘So do I. My people are tracking some video camera footage. We’ll have an answer soon. I’m sorry.’

She’d refused to accept that Simone would stoop to such levels, but when she let herself really think about it something about her roommate’s perpetual giddy state rang false.

She nodded, her heart sick with sadness. ‘I need to go back to London.’

‘We’ll go together.’

Joy flared inside her, but she was too afraid to give it full flight. Despite the certainty that they’d put the past behind them, that all the old wounds had been cauterised, Ana couldn’t get past the feeling that Bastien might never love her as she loved him. She’d still take being with him over losing him completely, but she needed some head space to get her heart to accept it.

‘I can do this on my own. You don’t have to come with me.’

He trailed a hand down her cheek, then winked at her. ‘Did you forget that where you go, I go? After all, I still have to ensure you don’t abscond the minute my back is turned.’

She quirked a brow and attempted a smile despite the lingering ache in her heart. ‘You left me for almost a week and I was there when you got back.’

He sobered. ‘Oui, you were. And I can’t express how much that meant to me.’

She rose on tiptoe, helplessly pressing her lips against his.

With a groan he deepened the kiss, momentarily silencing her doubts.

Bastien’s feeling were deep enough...

When he lifted his head, glanced at the clock and imperiously announced that they had some time after all, she let herself melt into him.

* * *

‘Wake up, cherie, we’re here,’ a deep voice murmured in her ear.

Ana prised herself away from where she’d fallen asleep on Bastien’s shoulder on the way from the airport.

She straightened and glanced out of her window at a grey and gloomy London. After surrendering her heart to the Château D’Or, the two-bedroom maisonette she shared with Simone in South London looked dismal and almost alien. It would never be home to her again.

The driver pulled up on the kerb. Bastien started to open the door. She stayed him with a hand on his arm.

‘Do you mind if I do this on my own?’

His eyes held an admiration she allowed herself to bask in for a moment.

‘Bien. I’ll go and make myself useful in the office for a while. Call me when you’re done.’

She nodded. ‘I may be a while. Lily’s coming over in an hour, then I need to pack warmer clothes.’

He smiled and reached out to caress her nape. ‘Keep those risqué jeans, cherie. I’ve grown quite fond of them.’

She laughed. ‘I’ll consider it,’ she replied, then leaned in to him for a deep kiss.

That niggling voice rose again, cautioning her against falling harder without hope of having her feelings returned. Feebly, she pushed it away.

When he pulled back his eyes were dark and his expression intense. ‘You have three hours, then I’m coming for you.’ He thrust the door open and helped her out.

Stepping into the frigid air, she pulled her coat around her and held her smile till Bastien’s limo was out of view. Dragging her suitcase behind her, she unlocked the front door, dread eating away at her stomach as she entered the flat.

Simone sat cross-legged on the sofa, with Ana’s laptop—which she’d bought solely for working on her lessons—balanced on her legs. She was so engrossed in whatever she was doing that it took her a moment to notice Ana in the doorway.

Shock rounded her eyes. ‘Ana—I had no idea you were coming back today!’

Ana propped her case by the door and dropped her handbag on the coffee table in the small living room. ‘How do you know the password to my laptop?’ she asked, her throat drying. The combination was the date she’d met Bastien, known only to her.

Simone shrugged. ‘You must have told me when I borrowed it before.’

Heart hammering, she stepped closer and noticed Simone’s overbright eyes and agitated breathing. ‘No, I didn’t. I’m sure of it.’

Her roommate laughed but the sound was skewed. ‘What are you saying? That I’m a liar?’

Ana clenched her fists and breathed deep. ‘I know, Simone.’

Simone’s eyes narrowed. ‘Know what?’ she demanded, shoving the laptop aside to stand up.

‘The drugs. I know it was you.’

Several expressions chased over Simone’s face before it settled into pure malice. ‘You can’t prove it.’

Ana sighed. ‘Yes, I can. You made sure you were out of sight of the nightclub’s cameras when you put the drugs in my bag but you forgot that it was your birthday—everyone wanted a picture of you, whether you were aware of it or not.’

A flash of fear widened the other woman’s eyes but the malice remained. ‘You’re lying! I was careful...’

‘Not careful enough. What I want to know is why?’

Simone rolled her eyes. ‘Oh, get off your high horse! Everyone does drugs—but you’re too good for the rest of us. You won’t even take painkillers when you have a headache. Truthfully, I didn’t want to do it. Top-class drugs like that are expensive. But I was warned there might be a raid and—’ She froze. ‘Are you recording this?’

‘Excuse me?’

Simone bared her teeth and snapped her fingers. ‘Oh, yes—you wouldn’t know how, would you? Because you can’t read.’

Ice dredged Ana’s insides and her gaze went to the laptop. Sure enough, the file holding her lessons was open, along with the phonetic program that went with it.

Anger overcoming the icy dread, she rushed to the sofa and snatched up the laptop. ‘How dare you—?’

‘Don’t bother denying it, Ana.’

Ana stared at her. ‘Were you going to let me go to jail for something you did?’

Simone shrugged. ‘Why not? Everything comes so easy to you—the contracts, the private jets, the billionaire boyfriend. Does he know, by the way?’

That disturbing thread of doubt reared its head again. ‘Yes, he knows. He’s okay with it.’

Surprise mingled with fear on Simone’s face but she quickly regrouped. ‘Yeah, keep telling yourself that. I’m not owning up to the drugs thing. I’ll tell everyone you were in on it. It’ll be your word against mine. You think his company will survive another scandal? Especially if you remain his girlfriend?’

‘Forget it, Simone. I’m not going to jail for you,’ Ana said, despite her heart thundering with a different kind of fear as Simone backed towards the door.

Her roommate ran out of the room. A few minutes later Ana heard the front door slam. She wasn’t worried about Simone getting away. Bastien had told her that the police had been alerted and his own investigators were tracking her.

Bastien...

The knock on the door made her jump.

Her stomach twisted at the thought that it might be Bastien even as her heart thrilled at seeing him again. Swallowing, she opened the door.

Her mother was dressed from top to toe in white vintage Chanel, her face perfectly made-up and her hair twisted in an impeccable bun.

Mingled desolation and pain scythed through Ana. Stepping forward, she let her mother in. ‘Hello, Lily.’

Everything she’d thought she’d heard in her mother’s voice recently was reflected in Lily’s face, albeit warily.

‘You look distressed. What’s wrong? Is it...? Do you want me to leave?’

Ana shook her head. ‘No, it’s not you. I’ve just found out who planted the drugs.’ She quickly summarised her conversation with Simone, then glanced at her mother as she accepted her halting commiserations. ‘What’s going on, Lily? You seem...different.’

Her mother’s laugh was strained as she followed Ana into the living room. ‘You mean less of the nightmare you grew up with?’

Ana shrugged. ‘Your words, not mine.’

For the first time in her life Lily seemed nervous. ‘I...I started a drug rehabilitation programme last month. One of the steps in the programme is making amends. I wish I could say that I didn’t need a bullet point on a piece of paper to make me realise I’ve been the worst mother in the world to you. I just... Once I started down that destructive path I didn’t know how to make things right.’ She stopped and firmed her trembling mouth.

Ana closed her own gaping mouth and stared at her mother, hope spreading its wings again. ‘I...I don’t know what to say.’

‘Please say you’ll give me a chance? That you won’t write me off completely?’

Ana’s heart squeezed and she blinked back tears. ‘I won’t write you off.’

Her mother’s sigh of relief was audible. ‘I don’t deserve it, but thank you.’ She fidgeted, glanced around, then eyed the suitcase by the door. ‘Are you going away again?’

‘Yes, Bastien will be here in an hour. What?’ Her insides jerked at the wary flicker in Lily’s eyes.

‘I spoke to Philippe two days ago.’

‘Bastien’s father?’

Lily nodded, her blue eyes darkening with pain. ‘Part of the making amends process... Couldn’t be avoided. Ana, he told me about Bastien’s visit.’

‘Yes, Bastien went to see them. I think we’re all ready to put the past behind us—’ She stopped when her mother shook her head.

‘I really hope for all our sakes that’s true, but Philippe is worried about Bastien. He thinks he’s carrying a lot of hurt from sixteen years ago. I’m sorry, I know you have feelings for him, but I want you to be careful.’

Don’t confuse love with sex or duty...

The voice was a loud clamour in her head and in her heart. And, try as she might, Ana couldn’t stem the growing fear that she was indeed jumping without a parachute.

‘I really hope you find joy and happiness where I sowed only pain, and I don’t want to see you hurt.’

Lily’s eyes bored into hers with a look Ana had thought she’d never see from her mother.

Affection.

Her throat clogged and she stood. ‘Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.’

Her mother rose too. ‘That was the other thing I came to tell you. I’ve re-signed with Lauren. Apparently there’s still hope for modelling work for women of a certain age. If you need me to stay on as your manager...’

Ana shook her head. ‘No, I’m giving up modelling. I’m hoping to work with Papá for a while.’

Lily’s eyes clouded over with tears. ‘Your father is next on my list.’

Ana stepped forward and grabbed her mother’s hand, swallowing a sob when hers was caught in a tight hold. ‘I’m proud of you...Mother.’

Lily hugged her tight, then moved back. ‘Call me...when you get to wherever you’re going.’

The moment her mother left Ana sagged numbly onto the sofa, her gaze frozen in the middle distance.

Her mother had inadvertently confirmed her worst fears—that she was looking for love where none existed. Bastien had shown her gentleness and consideration. He’d made love to her as if she was the most precious thing in his life. But the fear that he’d never take the next step and love her was one she could no longer deny.

Her phone buzzed. Willing her heavy limbs to move, she fetched it from her bag.

It’s B. R u OK?

Tears filled her eyes. She was willing to bet Bastien had never sent an abbreviated text in his life. That he was bending to accommodate her touched her heart even as it cracked painfully.

Wiping her tears with the back of her hand, she activated her keypad and carefully typed in: Yes. C u in 1 hr

Fingers shaking, she closed the application and turned off her phone. Pain twisted like potent poison inside her. Giving in to the raw anguish, she burst into tears, her soul ripping into a million little pieces.

She wasn’t sure how long she stayed on the sofa. It might have been close to an hour but it felt like an eternity. When she had no more tears left she slowly rose, grabbed her suitcase, went into her room and upended the contents onto her bed. On automatic, she refilled it with sensible, everyday clothes. The rest of her things she’d arrange to be packed and put into storage when she could think straight.

She blanked her mind to the fact that she would never see Bastien again, never feel the intensity of his lovemaking or feel the gentleness afterwards when he cradled her in his arms.

The pain of their violent separation would come later...when she was miles away.

But she’d come too far, been through too much, to settle for a life without love. They’d bared so much to each other in the past few days. Surely if Bastien loved her he’d have told her by now? Recalling his silence when she’d confessed her love, she bit back a dry sob and heaved her case off the bed. She retrieved her bag and laptop from the living room, breathing a sigh of relief that she still had her passport.

Taking one last look at the flat, she headed for the door.

The travel agents were a few minutes’ walk away. Ana entered the building and came out fifteen minutes later, clutching a plane ticket.