Читать книгу Doctor On Her Doorstep - Annie Claydon, Annie Claydon - Страница 9

‘LOOK, she’s here now.’ Julie’s face lit up into a grin and Adam turned to see Jenna entering the ward. Red hair, bound tightly at the back of her head, white shirt and dark slacks. Even in such severe attire she looked like an angel. Not one of those sweet, dimpled ones, looking down dispassionately from the safety of a cloud. She was a warrior angel, the kind you’d really like to have on your side when things got tough, who rushed in where everyone else feared to tread and plucked you out of danger.

‘She comes every lunchtime, does she?’ Adam knew that she did. Iain had already told him that.

‘Yes. Just for half an hour. Sometimes less.’ There was a hint of resentment in Julie’s voice and Adam reflected just how precious that time was for Jenna. A snatched half-hour when most of the A and E staff were happy just to grab a sandwich and get their breath for a few minutes.

Before he had time to answer, Jenna was at the foot of the bed, her fingers grasping the rail where Julie’s notes hung. ‘Hi, there.’ She was all smiles. ‘How are you, then? You’re looking better.’

Julie flashed her a grin. ‘Yeah, I feel better. That other doctor says I’m doing okay. They’ve got the pain control sorted now.’

‘Good.’ Jenna’s gaze caught Adam’s and he basked in its warmth for a moment before her attention was back on Julie. ‘I see you’ve met Dr Sinclair.’

‘Yes.’ Julie turned her wide blue eyes on to Adam. ‘He’s going to monitor my progress.’

Jenna’s face lit up. She looked a great deal more enthusiastic about it than she had the other day but, then, she’d obviously enjoyed his lecture, questioning him about it all the way home. ‘Really? That’s good. You’ve made plenty already.’

‘Suppose so.’ A porter wheeled a squeaking trolley into the ward and Julie flinched. Adam remembered that reaction all too clearly. All your senses on red alert, every moment of the day. Alarm at any sudden noise.

Jenna had leaned forward, her hand tapping Julie’s foot gently. ‘Hey. Earth to Julie. It’s okay, honey, just a porter.’

‘Yeah. Just a porter.’ Julie’s eyes filled with tears and Jenna’s helpless gaze flipped to Adam.

‘Listen, Julie, these feelings are natural.’ Adam repeated what he’d been told so many times. ‘It will pass. You just have to hang in there until it does.’

‘When?’ Julie almost spat the word at him. ‘When will it pass?’ Adam recognised that sudden, volatile fury too. As if his heart was already full to the brim with anger, and only a drop more would make it spill over.

‘I can’t tell you. There are ways we can help you …’ Adam tailed off as Julie turned her head away from him. He was losing her.

‘What do you want, Julie?’ Jenna’s voice cut across the space between them. ‘Dr Sinclair can lie to you if you like. Give you a time and a date when everything will be back as it was. Or he can respect you enough to tell you the truth.’

The warrior was back. The woman who took life by the shoulders and shook hard until she got what she wanted. Adam grinned and took Jenna’s cue. ‘I could lie. Do you want me to?’

‘Of course not.’ Julie shot an imploring look at Jenna. ‘But it’s all so much talk, isn’t it?’

Adam saw Jenna’s knuckles whiten as she gripped the rail at the end of the bed. She’d done a good job with Julie. She’d gained her trust, and she’d used it to help Iain and the other doctors do their work. But she’d hit a brick wall here.

Unless … Adam hadn’t planned on this, but the agonised look in Jenna’s eyes spurred him on. ‘That’s what I thought when the doctors said that to me. So they sent me to a counsellor and I didn’t believe her either. In the end you have to find out for yourself.’

He had Julie’s attention. Jenna’s too, only she was trying not to look at him with such overt interest as Julie. ‘What do you know about it?’

‘I’ve been there. Not in the same way as you, but I think I understand part of what you’re feeling. I was shot, and ended up in hospital in Florida.’

Julie’s eyes were as round as saucers. ‘Like on TV?’

Jenna huffed quietly. ‘No, it’s not the same as on TV, Julie …’ Adam waved her to silence. Now wasn’t the time for her to spring to his defence, however much it pleased him to hear her do it.

‘The thing is that being shot changed my view of the world. Before, I’d thought that I was pretty much unbreakable, but I realised that I wasn’t. I had to relearn how to do the smallest things without panicking. But I did, which is how I know that you can. And that you will.’

Julie stared at him, and then gave him a curt nod. Slowly, her eyes left his face and focussed on Jenna. ‘Did you bring me some chocolate?’

Jenna reached into her pocket and held up a pound coin. ‘It’s in the machine if you want it. Dr Sinclair will come with us, it’s right outside the doors of the ward.’

Julie fingered the blanket that lay over her legs. ‘I don’t want to disturb my skin grafts.’

‘You won’t.’ Adam tapped the thick file that he had brought with him. ‘I’ve read all of your notes and the skin grafts have taken nicely. You can get up and move around gently now. In fact, it’ll be good for you, stimulate the circulation.’

Julie wrinkled her nose. ‘They look horrible. I’ve seen them when they do the dressings.’

‘I know.’ He fingered the envelope he had tucked inside the file, wondering whether now was the time to bring it out. ‘They’ll look better. You know that, don’t you?’

‘Yeah. S’pose so.’ Julie huffed a sigh. ‘Every day, in every way it just gets better and better, is that it?’

Adam suppressed a grin. He could see why Jenna had taken to Julie. Underneath all that teenage petulance the kid had spirit. ‘Well, yeah. Some days are always going to be better than others, but if you look at it in the long term, things do get better.’ He was getting there. He got a grin in return. ‘You look better when you smile, you know.’

‘Yeah, I’ve heard that one before too.’

Adam came to a decision and pulled the envelope he had brought out of the file. ‘I brought you a picture. One of my patients, I treated her for burns.’

Julie focussed on the envelope. ‘So I’m supposed to look at this and see how much progress she’s made, am I?’ Petulant and bright. Adam could see why Julie was such a handful.

‘I had a lot of fears when I was hurt. A lot of feelings that I couldn’t come to terms with.’ The look on Julie’s face told Adam that she did, too. ‘So did the girl in the picture. It’s a tough road, but sometimes knowing that you’re not walking it alone makes it a bit easier.’

He was delving much deeper into his own pain than he’d expected to. But somehow, with Jenna sitting quietly beside him, and Julie, whose need was so much greater than his own, it felt okay. Almost a relief.

‘Okay. I’ll look.’ Julie reached for the photograph, struggling to get it out of the envelope with just one hand. Jenna didn’t move to help her. Tough love. But it was love, all the same, the kind that was going to haul Julie through this, kicking and screaming if necessary.

Jenna craned over to see the photograph. ‘Who’s the boy that she’s with?’

‘That’s Rick. They’re married now.’

Jenna exchanged looks with Julie. ‘He’s nice. I think he’s more of a Ricky than a Rick, don’t you?’

Julie giggled. ‘Yeah. Pretty neat guy.’

It wasn’t exactly textbook stuff, but it was working. The last thing that Julie was seeing were the faint scars on Claudia’s leg. She was seeing a young woman, happy and in love, her handsome boyfriend at her side. Jenna worked round to the scars, but only after she’d made her point about Rick not caring about them. Adam’s hand strayed absently to his shoulder. She was almost making him feel better.

‘Can you make me a copy of this?’ Julie regarded Adam, obviously assessing his age and likely technical competence. ‘Do you know how to do that?’

‘I’ve got a copy. Take this.’

‘So you like the younger man, do you?’ All the way down to the canteen, Adam had been smiling at something, and that was obviously it.

‘Oh, go boil your head.’ Jenna stuffed her take-away sandwich into his hand while she rummaged in her bag for her purse, then grabbed the sandwich back again. She wasn’t best pleased with him, but tact prevented Jenna from challenging him here and now on the matter.

He shot her a puzzled look and her exasperation began to cool. Not before he’d noticed it, though. ‘Want to talk about it?’ Before she could stop him, he’d taken her sandwich back, showing it to the cashier and then walking away with it to a quiet spot in the far corner of the canteen.

As soon as she reached the table where he was sitting, she made a lunge for the sandwich, but he was too quick for her, holding it out of her reach. ‘So you’re going to starve me into submission now, are you?’

‘If necessary.’

‘I do have money, you know. I can go and get another one.’ Jenna plumped herself down on the chair opposite.

‘You’re not going to, though.’

She probably shouldn’t have shown her hand by sitting down. ‘No. I’m not.’ He pushed her sandwich across the table towards her with one finger, and Jenna took possession of it. ‘You might have told me about being shot. That you know about trauma first hand.’ She lowered her voice, hissing the words across the table at him.

‘I might have done.’ He rubbed thoughtfully at his shoulder. ‘I would have done, if I’d known that I was going to tell Julie.’

‘That’s not the point. Do you really think that you’re best placed to help her if you’ve still got issues of your own to deal with?’

‘Who says that I do?’

The look in his eyes, for a start. And Jenna was sure that she’d not been mistaken when she’d thought she’d heard his stifled cry last night. Even though she hadn’t seen him, she’d sensed his presence out on the patio. ‘Well, do you?’

‘Not where Julie’s concerned. I have it under control.’ Maybe he saw the disbelief in her eyes. ‘If you want to know, you should just ask. Rob drives me crazy, tiptoeing around what happened as if it’s some guilty secret.’

‘Well, tact never was Rob’s strong point.’ She got a grin in response. ‘I would like to know, but the canteen’s probably not the best place in the world to have this conversation.’ Jenna looked around awkwardly.

‘It’s okay. My fiancée and I were both shot eighteen months ago in Guatemala, in a roadside ambush that went bad. Elena died, and I pulled through. I struggled with it, for a long time.’

The mixed emotions jostling in her chest drained away, leaving only horror and shock. ‘Adam, I’m so sorry.’

He slid his hand across the table towards hers, as if he should be the one to comfort her. ‘It happened and I won’t say that it hasn’t changed me. But I’d never let it compromise the welfare of any patient.’

‘No.’ Her fingers were trembling, and she pressed them down onto the tabletop to steady them. ‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have insinuated that.’

‘But I still should have told you?’

‘Yes, I think you should.’

He nodded. ‘So do I. And I want you to promise me something.’

Anything. She’d do anything she could to help him. ‘Okay.’

‘If you ever think that a personal issue is getting in the way of my treatment of a patient, you’ll tell me. I don’t mean dropped hints or concerned noises, but words of one syllable.’

‘I can do that. I’m better at words of one syllable than I am at hints.’

He grinned. ‘Thought you might be.’ He looked at his watch. ‘As we’re here, do you have time for some coffee?’

‘Yes, of course.’ Those honest eyes of his. Never once countenancing pity, but demanding respect. Jenna could almost feel them drawing her in, inch by inch. ‘I’ve another twenty minutes of my lunch break left, and they’ll page me if they need me.’ He went to stand and she beat him to it. ‘Stay there, I’ll get them.’

Things were beginning to make sense. He’d papered over the cracks of his own trauma so effectively that it only surfaced at night when he couldn’t suppress it with an effort of will. And by the time Jenna returned with the coffee, setting his cup down in front of him, he had already moved on and was thinking about something else.

‘Acid’s a very personal way to attack someone.’

‘It was personal. Kind of.’ Jenna tipped some milk into his cup. ‘Julie has a sister, a year older than her. They’re very alike, could be twins. She’d borrowed her sister’s blouse and jacket to go out in.’

‘And the acid was meant for her sister?’

‘Yes. An ex-boyfriend who held a grudge. The parents knew there was a problem there, and had been keeping an eye on Julie’s sister.’

‘And no one thought to stop Julie from going out dressed in her sister’s clothes?’ Anger suffused every line of his face.

‘Easy to be wise after the event. I’ve talked to the parents and put in an urgent request for counselling for Julie’s sister, but she’s not at the top of the priority list.’

He sighed, his finger and thumb massaging the bridge of his nose. ‘Do you think it would help if you and I had an informal chat with the whole family?’

Jenna turned the idea over in her head, and decided to trust him. ‘Yeah. Yes, I think that would help a lot.’

He’d seemed glad of her company over coffee, and almost relieved when Jenna had steered the conversation round to lighter topics. Relaxed now, he strolled with her all the way back down to A and E, staying to chat to Jenna’s colleague Brenda while Jenna went to the locker room. And he was still there when she returned.

‘I saw penguins last year when I went to New Zealand. I wasn’t too keen on the little blighters but my friend was mad to see them.’ Brenda’s blond hair, piled up on the top of her head in a messy confection of highlights and low-lights, was shining, along with her smile.

‘Yeah?’ Brenda had caught Adam’s interest and he hardly noticed Jenna’s return. ‘I’d love to go to New Zealand.’

‘Great place. We stopped off in Hong Kong on the way.’ Brenda was a seasoned traveller, saving her money and her annual leave for somewhere far-flung every summer. ‘I’m planning to go to India this year.’

His arms were folded on the counter in front of him and he leaned forward towards Brenda. ‘Are you? Whereabouts?’

Brenda had his full attention now and they were swapping stories about places they’d been, things they’d seen. Jenna didn’t have much to contribute to that conversation. Sure, she got itchy feet from time to time, who didn’t? But her yearning to see the world had been smothered by the need for security, her home, her career. One day, maybe, she’d have that sufficiently sorted to venture out a little.

‘Tell him to come along, Jen.’ Brenda was nudging her elbow.

‘Uh? Where?’ She’d lost track, reckoning that Brenda and Adam were doing fine on their own.

‘To the softball match next Friday evening.’ Brenda turned her attention back to Adam. ‘All the hospitals have teams, and we have a kind of league. We’re playing the Marylebone Medics, and they take it all very seriously, you know, practising and not drinking beer until afterwards.’ Brenda’s eye assessed the full breadth of Adam’s shoulders with something more than professional interest. ‘I bet you’re pretty handy with a bat. We might just stand a chance if I can persuade Rob to play as well.’

‘Where do you play?’ Adam seemed to be weighing up the offer.

‘Hyde Park. Over in the southern section, there’s always plenty of room on the sports field to stake a pitch. Our team’s the Bankside Cheetahs—because we cheat, not because we resemble a graceful, fast-moving animal.’ Brenda giggled. ‘Although Jenna has her moments.’

‘Right. Like last month when I tripped over your foot.’

‘That was just unlucky. Anyway, we’re never too proud to welcome a ringer on to the team.’

‘I work here. Part time for the next month, anyway.’

‘Oh, well, that’s even better.’ Brenda was scenting victory. ‘I thought you were lecturing at the university. They’ve got their own team but you don’t want to be with that lot. Far too young and enthusiastic.’

Adam chuckled. ‘I’m filling in with a couple of shifts a week here, as well as working with the reconstructive surgery team.’ He grinned. ‘We’re all sharing knowledge. So, assuming that I’m old and cynical enough for the Bankside Cheetahs, I’m totally legit.’

‘Well, that’s sorted, then.’ Brenda turned her green eyes on to him, full force. ‘I was wondering what that orange circle on the roster was. Stands for knowledge-sharing, does it?’

‘Guess so.’ Adam glanced at his watch. ‘But since I’m supposed to be sharing elsewhere today, I’d better make myself scarce.’ He gifted Brenda with a devastating smile and nodded at Jenna. ‘Later.’

Brenda watched Adam through the automatic doors, chewing speculatively on the end of her pencil. ‘How did it go with Julie?’

‘Good. He really got through to her. And he was honest with her, didn’t treat her as if she was stupid, just because she’s young. From what I saw of his case notes at the lecture yesterday, he’s an exceptional surgeon.’

‘Praise indeed.’ Brenda shot a querying glance towards Reception and received a signal that all was quiet. ‘So you’re practically living with him. What’s the story, any lady visitors?’

‘Give him a chance, he’s only been here two days.’ Jenna could see exactly where this conversation was headed. ‘You interested, then?’

Brenda shrugged. ‘Don’t want to step on anyone’s toes.’

Jenna shrugged. There was no reason why he shouldn’t be dating again. She doubted that Adam was short on offers.

‘I wouldn’t know. You’ll have to ask him. Or Rob, he’d probably know.’

‘I didn’t mean that.’ Brenda was looking at her pointedly.

‘Me?’ Jenna flushed, shaking her head. ‘What are you, mad?’

‘What’s wrong with that? He’s good-looking, seems like a nice guy. Unless you’ve still got an arrangement with Joe …?’

‘Joe? He’s been gone nearly a year now.’

Brenda pursed her lips. ‘I thought that maybe you were waiting for him or something. You two did seem very cosy right before he left. Didn’t strike me as if it was the end of the road somehow.’

Cosy was not the word for it. It had been more like agonised prayer on Jenna’s part that a miracle would happen and he wouldn’t leave. Or that he’d want her to go with him to Australia. Something, anything other than the harsh reality that he’d just felt like a change of scene and she wasn’t included in his future plans.

‘No. We split up for good.’

‘I’m sorry. I didn’t realise, Jen, you seemed so okay with it all that I thought that you two had worked something out.’ Realisation dawned on Brenda’s face. ‘But you were just playing nice, weren’t you?’

Jenna shrugged away the hurt. It had been the same when her parents had left, easier to pretend that she didn’t care and just get on with her life. ‘Joe’s ancient history. And Adam’s not my type.’

‘I would have thought he was pretty much anyone’s type.’ Brenda shot her a suspicious look. ‘But, then, he’s not around for long, is he.’

‘Exactly. Having one boyfriend leave the country is bad luck. Two looks like carelessness.’ Add her parents to the list and it was criminal negligence. Jenna swallowed the thought and grinned at Brenda. ‘I could ask you round some time if you’re interested, though.’

The idea seemed to appeal to Brenda, but she shook her head. ‘No. You know me, I don’t run after men. Always better to let them come to you.’

Fair enough. On the evidence of his reactions, Adam might just do that. Brenda was good-hearted, pretty and she knew how to have a good time. No tangled strings. No stupid hang-ups. Just as long as he remembered to close the French doors at night, if he did decide to take Brenda up on the offer that Jenna reckoned she was pretty much certain to make.