Читать книгу His for the Taking - Ann Major, Ann Major - Страница 9

The past, all her secrets, were supposed to be dead and buried. But Cole had her letters! And he’d never read them! He didn’t know about Noah!

Cole hadn’t rejected Noah as she’d believed. Instead, he hadn’t read her letters because he’d wanted to stay true to his new bride.

All these years, everything Maddie had thought about him had been wrong.

She’d hurt him when she’d left him. Imagine that. As she fought her way through the woods, back to Miss Jennie’s house, she wondered why it had never occurred to her that he might have felt that same shredding of the soul that leaving had caused her?

Because she’d had zero self-esteem. Because she’d been Jesse Ray’s daughter and he’d been a Coleman, and she’d told herself he would believe the worst of her as her mother had.

Even so, she had tried to call him and explain before leaving Yella. She’d been so hysterical she had called his home, no longer concerned with revealing their relationship. His mother’s cruel words would be forever branded into her heart and soul.

“You’ve got your nerve, Miss Gray. How do you know my son?”

“We dated. This summer. I need to talk to him.”

“You dated?” Hester’s voice had been shrill. “I don’t believe you. Maybe…he felt some cheap sexual attraction, but if he’d had any respect for you, he would have brought you home to meet his family. My son loves Lizzie. And I thank God for that! John doesn’t care about you any more than any of the men who’ve slept with your trashy mother have ever cared about her. You’re so far beneath him, all you’d ever do is drag him down into the gutter where your kind lives. I warn you, if you don’t let him go, my husband and I will do everything in our power to destroy you.”

“That won’t be necessary. Somebody else already did that,” Maddie had whispered.

She blinked at the blinding white light sparkling through the trees and came back to the present. She didn’t want to remember. It shouldn’t matter that Cole hadn’t known what Vernon had done to her or that he hadn’t known about Noah. It was too late to include Cole in Noah’s life because any contact with her son’s father was too dangerous to her own well-being.

Still, as Maddie walked away from Cole, the pain in her heart was so great she barely felt Cinnamon twisting and tugging against the leash. Even though the woods were dappled with golden sunlight, she felt that she was stumbling through a dark void.

She couldn’t afford to feel sympathy for Cole. No way could she let herself care about the young man she’d walked out on six years ago, or the wounded man he was now. Not when long-suppressed fears concerning her son gripped her.

Her work had taught her that lives were fragile, especially the lives of the ill, the elderly, the young, the learning disabled and the people like herself who’d experienced severe trauma and didn’t have wealth or a supportive family. One false step, one stroke of bad luck, could lead to ruin. That was why she had to marry Greg, who had a good job and a stable, loving family. Together, if they worked hard, they would build a respectable life. The kind of life she’d always wanted.

The Colemans were rich and powerful. They could do a lot for Noah. But they considered her inferior. What if they decided to use their money and connections against her—to prove her unfit and take Noah away?

Maybe she didn’t have their kind of money, but she had character and determination and a mother’s fierce love. If she followed her plan, she could give Noah the wonderful childhood and bright future she’d never had. Then Noah wouldn’t need the Colemans’ money or their name.

But if Cole found out about Noah now, she might never be free of his family and the past. And she had to be free of him…because he too easily aroused all her foolish dreams of love and romance. It wasn’t her fault he’d believed the worst of her and hadn’t cared enough to read her letters. She’d made a life for her son without him, a life that would soon include Greg.

Even though she was more mature now, just seeing Cole today had her heart racing in a torment of confusion that included hurt, loss and hope, which was the most dangerous emotion of all. She couldn’t let herself listen to his side and believe in those dreams again.

But what if he wasn’t like his mother? What if he had loved her when they’d been together?

And she couldn’t help feeling sympathy for Noah, who would never know his father, and for Cole, who wouldn’t know his son.

Maddie’s mind warred with her emotions.

She’d spent her whole life trying to prove she wasn’t like her mother, but she couldn’t deny the surge of excitement she’d felt in Cole’s presence this afternoon. She still wanted him.

If he learned about Noah and became a part of their lives, would Cole tempt her to cheat on Greg, the very best of men, whose appeal paled in comparison to the virile and charismatic Cole?

Bottom line—for Noah’s sake she needed to maintain a stable relationship with Greg. And that would be more easily achieved if she closed the door firmly on her past, and on Cole.

If only she could get her letters back before Cole read them. But how? She didn’t dare mention them again because that would just intrigue him all the more.

Suddenly she heard his heavy boots crashing through the brush behind her.

“Maddie!” he yelled in that deep, possessive baritone that instantly made her blood buzz with a fierce, hot need that both thrilled and terrified her.

Stunned by the urgency in her own heart, she whirled, her gaze widening when his green eyes caught and held hers. She should keep walking, but somehow she couldn’t when his desperately intent gaze refused to release her.

The past and its new truths couldn’t matter.

But they did.

Stirred too deeply to deny her true feelings, she felt herself in a time warp. A warm breeze swirled the emerald trees around them, and she remembered all the times she’d seen him looking just like this before she’d run into his arms in these very woods as a girl. Back then she’d trusted him completely. Back then he’d been hers to hold and love, at least in secret.

Now, instead of the hurt and rejection she’d felt for so long, she was remembering brighter moments, remembering how he’d picked her up and spun her around, remembering how he’d spread a blanket across the lush grasses beside the river before drawing her down beside him, remembering how he’d stripped her slowly so he could make love to her. Always, always he’d been infinitely patient and tender. And so dear.

At the happy memories, blood pounded in her temples, bringing tumultuous excitement and the kind of wicked delight she’d never once felt for Greg, not even when he kissed her. Six years were washed away in bursting sensations of breathless joy and hot carnal needs that exploded in every one of her nerve endings.

She hadn’t slept with anyone since she’d left Yella. It was as if she’d been frozen—until this afternoon…with Cole.

Why him? How could she still want him when he brought back the past and all the ugliness of her life here? Why couldn’t it be Greg? She wanted to look forward, not back.

What was happening to her? How could she feel so powerless to fight her feelings for Cole when she knew she could never trust him with her heart or with her son?

“I’ll always be Jesse Ray Gray’s daughter.”

“I don’t care.”

He looked as conflicted as she felt when he grabbed her by the wrists and spun her into his arms, hard against his body.

“I’ll get you all wet,” she cried.

“Feels good,” he rasped. “What could be better than a wet woman on a hot day?”

She felt herself blushing. When she clumsily dropped Cinnamon’s leash, the little dog yelped and dashed away. Not that she cared. How could she concentrate on the dog when Cole was holding her so close she was trembling? How could she resist the burning need in Cole’s eyes, even though some tiny, sensible voice in her head pleaded with her to be more intelligent?

Greg. Marriage. Stability. Noah’s future.

Greg will protect you.

Cole’s mother promised to destroy you.

“Cole,” Maddie begged as her breasts lodged snugly against his muscular chest. “Cinnamon…He’ll get away.”

Cole tugged her nearer so that her nipples peaked against the violent thudding of his heart in his warm chest. “He knows his way home.”

For no special reason her gaze lingered on Cole’s sculptured, sensual mouth.

Reluctantly, she laid her head on his shoulder and inhaled his dizzying, clean male scent and the lemony flavor of his aftershave. “Oh, Cole,” she whispered on a rush of longing.

He needed no further invitation. Pressing his warm lips against her earlobe, he sighed. “Baby, you feel so good.”

A delicious current raced in her blood. His mouth nibbling her flesh set off sparks even as the memory of his mother’s words ate into her soul.

You’re so far beneath him, all you’d ever do is drag him down into the gutter where your kind lives.

For a long moment, Cole simply held her tightly against his long, hard body. “You smell good, like the woods and the creek…like everything I love best.”

Feeling cherished, she closed her eyes and fought to forget his mother’s cruel assessment, fought to forget that he’d let her go when he’d promised to love her forever.

Stroking her fingers through his thick ebony hair, Maddie felt herself in a sensual dream. He was so tall and solid and hot. He felt so right. For the first time in years, everything seemed perfect. Had she been striving for all the wrong things, when all she’d ever wanted was Cole?

He’s the enemy, the man who threw you and Noah away.

No. That wasn’t how it was. His father died right after you left. You were gone. He was so sad and lost, he turned to Lizzie. He’d wanted to be faithful to his wife. She could see that, understand it.

When Cole lightly brushed his mouth across hers, his sweet kiss scorched.

When she clung instead of resisting, his lips became hot and hard and punishing. Fire raced in her veins. Another girl, without her mother’s genes, might have felt shame to part her lips and give herself so easily. But Maddie gloried in the wildness of his touch and the sweetness of his taste as he made a thorough exploration of her mouth.

When he held her and kissed her like this, she couldn’t deny what she’d really wanted these past six years: him.

Grabbing her bottom, he thrust himself closer and rotated his hips against hers so that she could be in no doubt of his state of arousal.

“I want you,” he whispered possessively. “You know that, don’t you?” He sounded angry about it. “Damn it, I still want you! I couldn’t stop, no matter how hard I tried! Not even when I was married!” he raged. “I wanted you even then.”

She could empathize with his anger. Oh, boy, could she ever. Yet his anger hurt, too. He’d wanted to forget her, had married to forget her.

“I tried to forget you, too.”

Her fingers twined around his warm neck and caressed his damp hair even as she pressed herself into him as wantonly as he was pushing against her. His body felt like strong, sun-blasted rock, and she was melting in his heat.

In an instant, the past merged with the present. She was no longer an inexperienced girl. This was now, and she wanted him as a mature woman craved her one true mate. She couldn’t deny it any more than she could deny her next breath.

Six years and all the battles she’d fought to become a new, respectable, brave person, the kind of young woman who could be a proper wife to a professional man like Greg, were nothing compared to this primal need she felt for Cole.

But what did Cole truly think of her?

Would he always see her as the trampy daughter of Jesse Ray Gray? Did he merely lust for her in a raw, animalistic way? Wasn’t that why he’d rejected her and married Lizzie?

Because of her doubts, she found the inner strength to spread her fingertips wide against his chest. Shoving lightly, she stumbled back a step. With a growl, he caught her and steadied her by slowly pushing her against the thick trunk of an oak tree. With the tree supporting their weight, he began to kiss her lips, her throat and her breasts, which were still slick and damp. Feelings of desire swamped her all over again.

When his greedy, exploring mouth followed a silky path from her breasts to her lips, he plunged his tongue inside. Once more everything was softening and melting inside her. All too soon, passion blurred her doubts, many though they were, and she was ablaze and needy for more of his loving, which felt true and right despite everything. Nobody but him had ever kissed her like this, made her feel like this. There was an honesty in such feelings, wasn’t there?

Sensing her response and riding it, his kisses grew harder and longer and infinitely sweeter, and she drank deeply of him, stroking his tongue with hers, feeling as if she could never get enough. When he brushed his mouth over hers again, she kissed him back, and with every kiss her soul-devouring desire built.

He began to murmur to her in soft, mesmerizing tones, his love words both passionate and tender. She felt his erection jammed hard against her belly.

Oh, she wanted to tear off her clothes and his, too.

But when he pushed her wet T-shirt up and began to fumble with the fastenings of her bra, a rush of cool air against her naked belly and Cinnamon’s wild barks made her shiver and push his hands away.

This is happening too fast. You ‘re not good enough for him. His mother hates you. He married Lizzie. No matter what he says, he rejected you—and Noah, too. By not talking to you and by not reading your letters, he rejected you both.

His pointed red ears cocked, Cinnamon stood five feet away, quivering as he watched her intently. She fought to concentrate on the eager little dog instead of on Cole, because if she didn’t quit thinking about all the things she wanted to do with Cole, she was going to be naked and lying flat on her back underneath him, her legs spread wide, writhing like a wanton. No doubt, when he finished his business he would blame her and think her as cheap as her mother.

“We have to stop,” she whispered, feeling miserable because she ached from wanting him. “Or we’ll go too far…and regret it.”