Читать книгу We Are Never Alone - Anthony Quinata - Страница 9

by Sofia Pico-Ambrosio

Just prior to meeting my husband Anthony, I had recently given up on a twelve-year marriage. It had not been a very fulfilling or supportive marriage, to say the least. In fact, I was at the lowest point in my life. I felt as if I were dead inside. There was no joy, no hope, and no self-esteem. I had no idea that my life was about to change drastically.

The minute I met Anthony, I was convinced that I knew him but could not think of how. I reviewed my whole life and could not explain it. I just knew that I knew him. Months later he let me in on a secret. He had seen in his meditations that I was going to be coming into his life. He knew where and about when we would meet and that I was of Spanish descent with short, curly brown hair.

He was an amazing person who was incredibly funny, kind, generous, caring, nonjudgmental, supportive, incredibly intelligent, and an “open book” as he would say, a true friend, (I could go on and on . . . ). On top of all of this, he was also an amazing and talented healer. Gods’ healing energy streamed through his hands. Of course, God used him to channel His energy. Anthony’s heart and intent were as pure as no other I’ve ever seen! He was a chiropractor who decided he was going to create a practice, different from any other, where the goal was to get people well enough that they wouldn’t need to come back. This demanded a huge sacrifice on his part which required much longer hours and produced a much lower income than the average chiropractor. Needless to say, it worked. People, who had used many other therapies and had not found success in relieving their pain, diseases, or other conditions, finally found it with him. Without spending a penny in advertising, he had a full practice with a year-long waiting list, all from word-of-mouth referrals. I can’t tell you how many times I have met people who had nothing but adoring things to tell me about Anthony once they knew I was his wife. They would say, “He changed my life. He helped me with an emotional problem I’d had all my life. Oh, and he also fixed my back!!!!!!” He would spend countless unpaid hours just talking to people, giving them hope and spiritual advice. Even the cable guy, who came to hook up Anthony’s service, was so appreciative of his help that he gave him his personal number and said, “If you ever need any help with anything, call me anytime.”

People were extremely grateful because they had never experienced someone going out of his way to help them as Anthony had done. He didn’t care about money. He cared about people! Of the patients he had treated who had cancer and tumors, eleven experienced a near or full reversal of the disease. And he always made people laugh. This was part of the package. He also successfully treated numerous so-called “incurable” conditions and diseases with just his “bare hands.” And he never took credit for it. He always said, “The Big Guy (pointing to the sky) did it.”

Being around Anthony was like a ray of sunshine. I could not wait until I got to see him again.

Eventually we started dating, and my life took a complete 180 degree turn. I went from feeling unloved to experiencing the deepest, most fulfilling, supportive, and passionate pure love I have ever known. It was everything I had ever hoped for and more! Our lives were filled with affection, meaningful conversation, and laughter so unbridled that it made me cry and caused spasms of the abdominal muscles. He worked very hard to repair my broken self. Every day he told me that I was beautiful and how much he loved me. Many times he said, “I don’t want a day to go by without telling you that ‘I Love You!’” My life was complete.

Then he started getting sick more and more often. He thought it was food poisoning from restaurant food, but I had a bad feeling. Despite my urging him, he didn’t want to go to a medical doctor. Maybe he knew it was going to be bad news. Actually, he told me how, when he was a little boy, he would tell his mother, “I’m going to die young, so you better get used to it.” He was also gifted with a keen sense of intuition.

We married in July of 2004, and the following January he was in the hospital fighting for his life. He was hooked up to every monitor and medical machine you could imagine. He was in an induced coma due to a severe bout of pancreatitis, among other things. Unbelievably, he recovered and was released from the hospital eleven days later. The doctors and nurses were amazed as even his kidneys had stopped working at one point.

As the years went by, we visited doctors of every kind—sometimes getting results, sometimes not. He had been misdiagnosed as having diabetes and was experiencing recurring bouts of pancreatitis. The pain you feel with pancreatitis has been described to us as natural childbirth or amputation without anesthesia.

He fought as hard as he could to try to stay alive. Despite working twelve hour days on a regular basis, he would exercise on the treadmill before work and go to the health club to sit in the sauna after work. He changed his diet, took loads of supplements, and even took medications he didn’t agree with. He didn’t want to “die on me.” He lived for years with his triglycerides over 2,000. Sometimes they went over 3,000. According to the AMA, healthy triglyceride levels are supposed to be 150 or under. Anything over that can cause heart disease and strokes. He was clearly a walking time bomb. In addition, he had very high levels of iron in his blood. We saw medical doctors, specialists, toxicologists, acupuncturists, and a medical intuitive. Since I was a massage therapist and an energy worker, I gave him treatments whenever he would allow me to. Some things helped for a while and then stopped working. Other treatments actually made him ill. We exhausted our funds since we had a high deductible insurance, and most of his expenses were out of pocket.

Our dear friends Sherry and Gordon Shayne convinced us to go to their amazing naturopathic doctor in Colorado Springs named Mark Cooper. Since we were very low on funds, Sherry and Gordon generously offered to cover the costs for Anthony’s initial treatments with Mark. Finally Mark Cooper, after spending countless hours researching his case, found out what he had. We were very excited to hear the news and that we would finally know what was making him sick. Mark said, “Well, there’s good news and there’s bad news. The good news is that I know what you have. The bad news is that it is a rare genetic disease that has no known treatment or cure.” That was a heavy blow to take. Mark let us know that there were things we could try, but of course, there were no guarantees. Mark explained how he thought things would progress for Anthony. Eventually, the high triglycerides in his blood would prevent enough oxygen from nourishing his vital organs, and he would basically asphyxiate. He was the only doctor who was able to explain this to us and did it with compassion and concern.

As time went by, we tried to live our lives to the fullest. It was as if Anthony knew his time on earth would be very limited. He studied every possible theory, ideology, religion, and healing method. Anything relating to God, he knew or would learn. He lived in the moment which was wonderful but at times was upsetting to me, especially if he missed or was late for an anniversary or birthday dinner. His response was, “I lost track of time.” He often ran behind during his appointments, but most people didn’t mind since they knew that when it got to be their turn, he would give them 100 per cent of his attention. He didn’t let people walk out the door if he wasn’t satisfied with how their bodies had responded to the treatment.

Although very sick and getting weaker after each bout of pancreatitis, he continued to work extremely long hours, as he knew his patients needed him. I was in a state of denial (a coping mechanism) thinking that for sure God would not let him die, considering all of the people he was helping and saving (including me). I believed God would continue to save him and eventually heal him. The time came when with greater frequency he suffered from more bouts of pancreatitis, often screaming at the top of his lungs in pain—sometimes ending up at the hospital, sometimes not. Many times we both thought this was the one that would take him out. However, he kept surviving them against all odds, until the last time. He died in my arms on August 14, 2011. It was exactly one month before his forty-second birthday.

As he had been an extraordinary person in life, he turned out to be also extraordinary after death. Because he died at home, paramedics and the police came to the house and then the coroner took his body away. I cannot put into words the way I felt at that time. Frantic, I decided to start vacuuming as I figured many people would be coming to the house. Then I heard Anthony’s voice say, “Calm down. Lie down. I want to show you something.” Not knowing what to think, but trusting what I heard, I laid down on the couch. Then I felt (his) energy merge into mine. Every cell, molecule, of my being was vibrating. With that, he was telling me, “I will never leave you!” Then I was able to get a glimpse of where he was. I felt an incredible feeling of joy and elation—more than I had ever experienced. Then I felt the freedom he felt in being out of his “miserable body” (as he would often refer to it). The incredible pain and suffering he had felt during his life had been lifted! He helped many by relieving pain that they thought they would never be free of. He did this while no one was able to relieve his pain . . . until now!

For about a year and a half, he continued to talk to me. I could hear him as clearly as if he were standing right next to me (he was, and is!). The beauty of this was that now he was able to be with me 24/7! There was no more waiting late at night for him to get home only to find that he was exhausted and just wanting to collapse on the couch. Now he was with me no matter where I went! Of course I was still devastated by his loss and went through (and still going through) deep grief. Even though I was overwrought with sadness and despair, I remember thinking of other widows and how difficult it must be to not hear and experience their loved one as I was able to. I couldn’t imagine suddenly experiencing a loss such as that without receiving any signs “from beyond.” I have many magical moments where he came through for me “from the Other Side.” For example, last February I went to Chicago to learn the Bengston Energy Healing Method. Actually it was during a session with a medium that Anthony told me to learn this technique. Anyway, it was Valentine’s Day. It was very cute and touching to see that everywhere I went, there were many men frantically running around to buy flowers, chocolates, and cards for their wives/girlfriends. Then I was a little sad to think that I wouldn’t be getting any of those things. I thought to myself, “I guess I won’t be getting any flowers from my baby this year.” Since I had some time to kill before the workshop, I decided to walk around the vicinity of the hotel to see what there was in the area. It was downtown Chicago amidst the hustle and bustle of a big city and during a busy time of day. Still a bit sad, I had my head down. I took a few steps and there, right in my path, was a perfect beautiful yellow carnation! All of the sudden it was as if the time stopped and the busyness of the city faded away. That took my breath away! I knew it was from Anthony and I could feel him smiling! Yes, I still have it!

I continued to experience remarkable things and hear Anthony talking to me but eventually the frequency and intensity diminished. Anthony told me that it was for my own good. Now that I was getting stronger, he was able to pull away a bit so I could continue to heal. If he didn’t, I would become too dependent on that type of contact and would not progress. I understood. After three years, I still “know” that he is watching me at times but do not always feel him.

Over the course of these last three years, I have had readings with various mediums. They are all different in the way they receive information. Some are good at receiving certain information; others are good at relaying other messages. They all have had valuable messages that have helped me grow from where I was at that time.

I was sharing some of my experiences with my friend Cathy who had known Anthony. She told me about an amazing psychic medium she knew in Denver named Anthony Quinata (to avoid confusion, I will refer to him as Anthony Q). Instantly I knew I had to go see him. Not only did I like his first name, but I had a really strong feeling that he was going to help me greatly.

As my husband’s birthday was approaching and since I hadn’t heard him “talk to me” in quite some time, I thought it would be a good way to celebrate his special day by scheduling a reading with Anthony Quinata. Anthony Q did not know anything about me other than my name.

The session began, and right away my father-in-law, Domenico, showed up. His son’s death (my husband) had been very hard on him. He was eighty-six but didn’t look it. He was still working as an anesthesiologist and several times a week would go to the gym to spend several hours there working out and doing yoga, Pilates, or whatever class they offered. However he did have some health issues including COPD, had a pacemaker, and had had his prostate removed due to cancer. But these things didn’t slow him down. It was the emotional burden of having to bury his only son that, I believe, eventually led to his death just about a year after Anthony died. Since my own father had passed away thirteen years prior, I saw Domenico as my dad and was extremely happy to hear from him. Anthony Q said, “You were close to your father-in-law? Because he’s the one stepping forward . . .” And then he said, “Where’s the Marie . . .” I broke into tears. Marie is my mother-in-law. My heart aches for her as she not only buried her one-and-only loving son whom she adored, but a year later lost her own husband! Then he said to, “Please tell Marie, because he’s calling out to Marie, that you’ve heard from your father-in-law!!!”

Anthony Q kept getting accurate details about Domenico, describing his personality to a “T” and said several times throughout the session that he kept referring to himself as my father! That made me smile! Anthony Q also asked if Domenico had heart and lung issues. To both questions which I said, “Yes.” Then Anthony Q said, “COPD”! Right again!

Then Anthony Q said, “You lost a husband?” I broke out in tears again. “His son?” he asked. “Yes!” Apparently they had decided that Domenico should talk first to give me the message about Marie, and also because once my Anthony began to speak, he wouldn’t be able to get a word in! That is how Anthony was in life. He always had a lot to say! He talked about a birthday, and I confirmed that my husband’s birthday would be the following day. “Then the timing is perfect,” he said. Anthony Q told me that my Anthony was playing music for him (my Anthony loved music and played the guitar). Then he said that Anthony called himself a real romantic and that ours was his first marriage and the second for me. All correct! “He keeps wanting me to tell you how much he loves you”! Anthony Q said. Anthony Q tried to get his name and then laughed and said my Anthony told him “Anthony, like you! He said he likes me because we have the same name! He’s funny! He has a great sense of humor. He’s a real jokester. He liked to kid around because he’s kidding now! He’s having a lot of fun!” Clearly he was connected with my husband and his father and was hearing their messages very accurately.

Anthony Q went on to talk about many other things that were accurate. Occasionally stating, “Boy, he loves you! He just loves you so . . . so . . . much; he doesn’t want you to forget that! You were his first one and only.” He talked about the new car I recently got. The previous car I had while Anthony was still alive was a nice car. I bought it used, but it constantly had one problem after another. I was so nervous about this that when getting this new one, I asked Anthony to help me pick out one that would be reliable. In fact, while driving the new car home, I felt an energy lifting off of me and the new car. I then realized that he and maybe others had been working to make sure that the old car would not break down on me again. That energy was no longer needed!!!! What a relief! And what a blessing! Anthony Q said, “He is very happy that you have this new car and that you are taking care of yourself. He said that the other car was a clunker! He said he helped you pick it out because you asked him too! And it’s blue?” Yes, yes, and yes!!!!! He insisted that Anthony Q tell me that he’s watching over me all the time. “I’m with her all the time,” he said.

He talked about how he loved my food and that I am a good cook. Then he said that I made lasagna and cupcakes recently (I did! Those are not things I make very often anymore). He said they were good! He was able to taste them through me, I guess! I made gluten free cupcakes for a friend’s wedding, and after several tries, they turned out really well. He said that people really liked them. And they did! Then he said I was a bit of a health nut (I’m vegetarian who eats gluten free and organic foods). Then Domenico stepped in and thanked me for taking such good care of his son (I was his nurse, his caretaker, his everything. I did Reiki energy work on him, etc.) Then Anthony Q laughed since they were both talking to him at the same time (that happened a lot in life). My Anthony said I took great care of him but that I feel like I could’ve done more (this is true). And he said I should stop feeling guilty and beating myself up (also true). He said that I did everything I could. I married him knowing he was sick but that I didn’t care because I loved him so much (also true). Then he went on to describe my love of animals and how it would be dangerous for me to visit the Humane Society as I would want to bring them all home (very true)! “That’s what a beautiful woman my wife is!” It brought such joy to hear him still referring to me as his wife!

Then my husband, through Anthony Q, gave me advice on how to handle some issues in my life. He talked about how I’m still grieving and still haven’t gotten rid of many of his things. He mentioned his pillow (I sleep on his pillow). He mentioned his shoes (for fun, I wore his flip flops recently even though they are four sizes too big!). He was amused at that and said he loves that. Anthony Q then said, “Anthony told me that you also wear some of his socks!” I fessed up and mentioned, while laughing about it, that I sometimes wear his underwear!!!! He was a child at heart (me too) so he loved wearing superhero, South Park, Wolverine boxers. I kept some of these and recently started wearing them around the house as shorts/pajamas! We all laughed: Anthony Q, Domenico, Anthony, and I. We were all having a blast! My Anthony then explained how when I wear his clothes, sleep on his pillow, etc., it creates an instant connection with him. However, Anthony Q said that my Anthony is closer to me than his socks that I wear! That my Anthony was with me when I made the lasagna, when I made the cupcakes . . . he was with me all of the time!

I was amazed at Anthony Q’s accuracy, but not surprised (if that makes any sense). It felt like I was talking directly to my Anthony. And Anthony Q is such an easy going, down-to-earth person that I felt very at ease and comfortable bringing up things such as my wearing my husband’s underwear!

Then Anthony Q said that my Anthony was asking me to stop asking when we will be together again. “He wants me to tell you that it will be soon . . . , but not tomorrow. When it does happen, it will be like a blink of an eye, as though no time has passed since you last saw him.”

“Anthony is telling me that you’ve given up but that you still need to live. You’re still here because there’re lessons you have yet to learn. He wants you to live but not for him.”

Then Anthony Q asked me if I was thinking about writing a book. I had thought about it after Anthony died. I thought about writing about his life but then put it on the back burner. Then Anthony Q said, “He wants you to write the book. It’s one of the things you are here to do—a book about healing. You’re supposed to write something, he keeps insisting!”

Anthony Q continued, “He wants you to trust your abilities and believe in yourself. You don’t trust! He says: I believe in you! He was your rock. He Still Is!!!” My Anthony would always be there to encourage me. Anthony Q said he’s still doing it! “Please know he’s okay. When you receive inspirations, write them down because they’re coming from him! And then follow up on them.”

Apparently some of the brilliant thoughts that I assumed I was having were from Anthony!

My Anthony told me through Anthony Q, “I will never die. My body died, but my love for you will never die.” Then he thanked me for being there for him in his last moments and thanked me for telling him it was okay to go (I did). He talked about how I caressed his head before he passed.

And again Anthony Q said, “He wants me to tell you how much he loves you. I just don’t have the words to tell you how much, he loves you beyond what any words can say. I love you for eternity. My love for you will never die. He just keeps saying, “I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You.” He shows me how you two hugged all the time (we did, even in the grocery store aisles) and he’s still hugging you,” Anthony Q told me.

Again Anthony Q said, “I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You! He cannot say it enough and the hug doesn’t end. He knows you miss his hugs and he’s still hugging you.”

Then I remembered something. A few weeks back I was going through a box of old papers and tossing them away. There was so much I was just grabbing handfuls of papers and throwing them out. Then I heard a voice in my head say, “Don’t go so fast. There’s something in there that you won’t want to throw out.” So I slowed down. Sure enough, a few pieces of paper later, I found the last card he ever gave me. It had a picture of the soles of feet of a little boy and a little girl and inside it said, “Sole mates from the start, Happy Anniversary.”

Then he wrote “I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You. Love, Anthony”

Anthony Q was floored by this! He explained that he thought that Anthony was at a loss for words to express his love for me, and that is why he kept saying, “I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, I Love You” . . . but I knew he was referring to the card! This was another instance through which he wanted to show me that even if I don’t feel him or hear him, He Is Always There with Me! Then Anthony Q said, “He’s saying, ‘please know that I love you . . . I love you . . . I love you . . . I love you . . . with that, he and Domenico are gone.” Anthony Q then quickly clarified, “They’re gone from me but not from you!”

This reading did so much for me. It gave me renewed confidence that my Anthony, Domenico, and all my loved ones are still with me, regardless of whether I can hear them or not. Suddenly I no longer felt alone. And I now had a feeling of purpose again.

I knew that Anthony Q was going to help me find direction. I realized days later that I had made Anthony responsible for my happiness. Then when he was gone (at least in body), my world crumbled and I felt like I would never be able to be happy again. I realized that it is the love that I feel for myself that is what is important. I began to look for love from within rather than from others. In this way I would be honoring Anthony the most.

I recorded the reading and later was amazed that it was just over an hour long. There was so much information relayed to me constantly that it felt more like two hours. Anthony Q’s gift is so precious; it has helped to turn my life around.

Sofia Pico-Ambrosio

Anthony’s note—One of the criticisms I’ve heard is that the souls all seem to say the same thing—“I love you.” My response is that no matter how often someone who loves you says it, does it mean any less because they said it before?

Tonight Sophia’s husband kept insisting that I tell her he was saying, “I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.” So I did.

“He loves you beyond words,” I told her, trying to explain why I kept repeating this message to her. No other explanation was necessary. She knew why he kept saying it.

“A few days ago I was throwing away papers of his and I found a card from him. When I opened it, it had the most beautiful message. He had written over, and over again, ‘I love you . . . I love you . . . I love you . . . I love you . . .’”

I was floored. So was Sophia. What a great way to let his wife know it was really him.

What a great message for all of us from the souls of our loved ones in the hereafter. “I love you . . . I love you . . . I love you . . . I love you. My physical life ended . . . my love for you never will.”