Читать книгу The Contract - Anto Krajina - Страница 15

Vivien and Doctor Ovale were enjoying a nice stroll in the town centre. They went to several of the most elegant and the most expensive shops, because Vivien wanted to try on some expensive rings and earrings, watches and bracelets, necklaces and even some other sunglasses although the sunglasses she was wearing were very elegant indeed. She tried on lots of things, and the young shop assistants, assuming that she might be a spoilt daughter of some foreign millionaire hoped that she would spend a lot of money, did all they could to please her. Vivien liked being treated like a star or some very important person. She laughed a lot and talked gaily in a very low voice into Doctor Ovale’s ear. He then also laughed in the manner of a personal bodyguard or someone paid to keep a shamefully rich and spoilt person company.

“Aren’t you going to buy some?” asked Doctor Ovale.

“No, I just enjoy playing – girls are different, you know. In fact the whole glitter business is nonsense,” she said, giggling.

“Have you ever thought why people started wearing jewellery?” Doctor Ovale asked when they were in the street again.

“Not really. That’s a good question,” she said.

“It is very strange. People sometimes spend enormous sums of money for shiny pieces of polished metals and glittering minerals without asking themselves what they need them for,” Doctor Ovale said.

“Oh, I think they just find such pieces of jewellery attractive,” said Vivien.

“Methinks that explanation isn’t convincing,” said Doctor Ovale.

“And why not?” asked Vivien.

“I think that something is attractive only if it is inviting,” said Doctor Ovale.

“Well, that’s what it is – jewellery invites the onlookers to come nearer and have a closer look, and that’s what people – especially girls – want,” Vivien argued.

“Does it really? Just think for a second: somebody is ten yards away from you. Can you see her or his jewellery clearly enough so that it invites you to come nearer and have a closer look at that person?” asked Doctor Ovale.

“No, certainly not – that’s quite convincing,” Vivien admitted.

“Obviously there must be another reason that people wear jewellery,” said Doctor Ovale.

“Perhaps people just find jewellery beautiful,” said Vivien, happy to be able to suggest another solution.

“The word ‘beautiful’ is no less problematic than the word ‘attractive’,” said Doctor Ovale.

“Oh, you are cruel to me. Why should it be problematic, there are beautiful things and there are ugly things, that is very clear,” said Vivien.

“Which is in your opinion more beautiful, bewildering and fascinating: a polished piece of metal called an earring attached to the ear or the human ear itself?” asked Doctor Ovale.

“I should say the human ear is more beautiful,” Vivien answered slowly as if hesitating, because the question had surprised her and because she had immediately noticed what Doctor Ovale was up to.

“I entirely agree with you. But if we agree on that point, we must also . . .”

“Stop, stop, I see what you want to say,” Vivien interrupted him.

“Go ahead, I’m listening,” Doctor Ovale said, smiling.

“I think you want to say that a polished piece of metal, being less beautiful, cannot decorate the human ear, because the ear itself is more beautiful than the earring, am I right?”

“Yes, you definitely are. That, of course, applies not only to the human ear but to any part of the human body. Lots of people pierce different parts of their body, cover their skin with all sorts of bizarre tattoos and mutilate their body in many different ways just because they are ignorant of what they are, in fact, doing. Unfortunately most people never think about it. If they did, they would immediately realise that something that is more beautiful cannot be beautified and adorned by something that is less beautiful,” said Doctor Ovale.

“That is wonderful. Now I’m proud of not wearing any jewellery and having any tattoos. I’m lucky I have met you in time,” said Vivien, smiling.

“As you can see the word ‘beautiful’ is at least as problematic as the word ‘attractive’. If that weren’t the case, lots of aspects of our life would be different, and probably there would be less fuss about so many unimportant things,” said Doctor Ovale.

“Could you give me an example, please?” asked Vivien.

“For instance the ways people shape and paint their nails, dye their hair, not to mention the shoes and clothes that are very often quite uncomfortable or even harmful to the body. On top of all that incredible fuss are probably all sorts of so-called beauty contests,” said Doctor Ovale.

“Now I am fully confused: I hope I understand your argument concerning attractiveness and the beauty of jewellery and clothes, but the young women who enter such competitions are neither pieces of metal nor gems, nor are they clothes – they themselves are beautiful, aren’t they?” said Vivien, trying to get a more detailed explanation.

“You are perfectly right, they are, and very much so; not only those who participate in a beauty contest but also any girl could be a princess to someone somewhere. And for that simple reason the beauty of any of them should not be compared to anybody or anything else. A great poet says in one of his poems that even the beauty of a summer day is not sufficient to stand the comparison to the beauty of the woman he loves.”

Vivien suddenly stopped and stared at Doctor Ovale without stirring. Doctor Ovale stopped, too.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

“Yes . . . I . . . am, I am all right . . .” answered Vivien somewhat absently.

“Shall we sit down somewhere and have a drink? We have been walking for quite some time,” said Doctor Ovale.

“Oh, I am fine, no problem at all. But the idea to sit down somewhere and have a drink is great.”

“Look, over there, it seems quite inviting,” Doctor Ovale said pointing to a tiny café just on the other side of the charming lane they were walking along.

“Oh yes, it looks nice, promises even a lot of privacy with all those pots of flowers and plants between the tables and the passers-by,” said Vivien.

The waitress, a nice young girl, showed them to a small table in the corner as if she had known that they had a lot of things to talk about.

“It is a very pleasant place, this corner in particular. It allows you to pay attention to the world without being taken notice of,” said Doctor Ovale.

“I agree with you, I like the place, too,” said Vivien, no longer absently.

“What would you like?” asked the waitress.

“What could you offer us?” asked Doctor Ovale, smiling.

“We have everything, all sorts of soft drinks, all sorts of strong drinks, whatever you like; sandwiches, cakes, ice creams, everything,” said the waitress.

“What would you like?” asked Doctor Ovale his companion. “An orange juice perhaps?”

“Oh, no, no orange juice, at least not today. I think it’ll take some time before I can drink it again,” said Vivien.

There was something curious in her answer.

“Are you at war with orange juice?” asked Doctor, Ovale smiling.

“Not really, in fact I love it but certain things can sometimes spoil even a pleasant drink like fresh orange juice.”

“Forget everything that could spoil your mood,” said Doctor Ovale.

“Is that possible?” asked Vivien.

“Perhaps it is,” said Doctor Ovale.

“But how?” asked Vivien.

The waitress didn’t want to interrupt them, because she herself wanted to hear how one could forget everything that might spoil one’s mood.

“Try to understand that life is a dream. When the dream is pleasant enjoy it; when it is unpleasant, remember that it is but a dream,” said Doctor Ovale.

“That instruction is absolutely great, I must not forget it,” said Vivien.

A happy smile flitted across the waitress’ face while she was quickly writing something down on the pad she was holding in her hands.

“What would you like instead of orange juice?” Doctor Ovale asked.

“I’ll take an ice-cream, two big balls of vanilla ice-cream and a tube-like biscuit, please,” said Vivien.

“Your order is a very original one, makes me curious. I’ll take the same,” said Doctor Ovale.

“You are a psychologist, aren’t you?” asked Vivien.

“You are perfectly right,” said Doctor Ovale smiling.

“What is the purpose of psychology?” asked Vivien.

“Well, I personally think that psychology should try to understand what the soul is and how it works. The word ‘psychology’ means, in fact, the science of the soul,” said Doctor Ovale.

“But what is the soul?” asked Vivien.

“I think it is something in us that consists of all our experiences and the expression of which are always our feelings. We are conscious of a large number of our experiences; however, the number of those experiences we are not conscious of is infinitely greater. Both conscious and unconscious experiences find their expression in our feelings and in our behaviour,” answered Doctor Ovale.

“All the definitions of the soul I have read so far didn’t make much sense. The definition you have just offered to me is the best one I know,” said Vivien.

“Thank you very much. I like to hear that. By talking to people who suffer from mental strain, psychologists try to find out the cause of the mental strain. If they manage to find the cause, they try to help people who suffer to get rid of that problem,” said Doctor Ovale.

“That sounds good but does it work, or is it just a nice theory, wishful thinking?” asked Vivien.

“Well, what can I say? We try, and if it doesn’t work we try again, we just keep trying,” answered Doctor Ovale.

“You said that the soul was something that consisted of all our experiences, didn’t you?” asked Vivien.

“Yes, I did,” said Doctor Ovale.

“But all our experiences make our whole life, don’t they?” asked Vivien.

“Yes, you can put it like that,” said Doctor Ovale.

“You said ‘we’ were conscious of some of our experiences and of some ‘we’ weren’t, didn’t you?” asked Vivien.

“Yes, that’s right,” confirmed Doctor Ovale.

“But who is that ‘we’ who is aware or not aware of something? From what you have said it seems to me that the ‘we’ and the sum of all our experiences is not the same thing,” said Vivien.

“I’m afraid I don’t know the answer to that question; I have never thought about that before,” said Doctor Ovale. He felt a little embarrassed.

“Are body and soul two different things?” asked Vivien.

“I don’t know exactly, but I’m inclined to think that they are,” answered Doctor Ovale.

“Do they get separated when a person dies?” Vivien asked.

“Probably they do,” answered Doctor Ovale.

“Does the soul also disintegrate like the body?” asked Vivien.

“I’m not sure but I think it does,” answered Doctor Ovale.

“If I understand you correctly, the soul dies when the body dies,” said Vivien.

“That seems to be the case, but I’m not sure,” said Doctor Ovale.

“But then the soul doesn’t exist without the body, does it,” said Vivien

“That seems to be so,” said Doctor Ovale.

“If that is true, then the soul must be contained in or at least dependent on the body, mustn’t it,” said Vivien.

“You are probably right,” said Doctor Ovale.

“From what I have understood so far I have the impression that body and soul are not two different things but just two different ways of looking at the same thing,” said Vivien.

“That’s absolutely tremendous,” said Doctor Ovale.

“Well I don’t know if that is tremendous or not, but that’s the conclusion I came to after a long meditation during my captivity,” said Vivien.

“You asked me who or what was in fact meant by ‘we’ when used by people in conversation, didn’t you?” asked Doctor Ovale.

“That’s right,” answered Vivien.

“Have you perhaps found an answer to that question, too?” Doctor Ovale asked.

“I think I have,” Vivien answered.

“Please tell me,” asked Doctor Ovale.

“That is the point where the ways of body and soul ceaselessly meet. When we speak generally we say ‘we’, when people speak of themselves as an individual then they say ‘I’,” said Vivien.

“But where do the two ways meet?” asked Doctor Ovale.

“They meet in the tube,” Vivien said her fingers turning the brownish tube-like biscuit stuck upright between the two icecream balls.

“What do you mean by tube?” asked Doctor Ovale.

“That’s the tube in which both the way to and the way from, meet and blend,” answered Vivien.

“Would you please try to explain your idea in a different way, because I still do not understand what you mean by that magic tube?” asked Doctor Ovale.

“Paying attention to differences is creating the body, and that is one way of looking through the magic tube.

Neglecting differences is creating the soul, and that is another way of looking through the magic tube,” said Vivien.

“And what is consciousness?” asked Doctor Ovale.

“It is being acquainted with these two ways, these two directions, the direction of differences that creates the body and the direction of absence of differences that creates the soul,” answered Vivien.

“And what happens to the magic tube when a person dies?” asked Doctor Ovale.

“Nothing can happen to the magic tube,” answered Vivien.

“How is that?” asked Doctor Ovale.

“Because the happening itself is the magic tube,” answered Vivien.

“That’s even more difficult to understand. Could you please try to explain that more precisely?” asked Doctor Ovale.

“The magic tube with only one aperture, the semi-tube as it were, is the so-called dead world. The magic tube with two apertures, of which one is wide and the other is narrow, is the so-called living world. Different degrees of differences between the two apertures are different levels of life. Great differences between the two apertures are forms of the so-called primitive life.

As the difference between the apertures of the magic tube decreases we speak of the higher forms of life. And finally when the two apertures of the magic tube become completely equal, all differences and the absence of all differences also become equal. That state is so-called consciousness. At that level the so-called dead elements are arranged and united in such a way that the result of their arrangement in unity is the knowledge of themselves. Knowing about oneself implies knowing about something else. Consciousness calls that ‘something else’ the world. The place where consciousness happens is called ‘I’ or ‘we’. Most creatures that call themselves human beings can utter these two words though they are very, very rarely aware of their content,” said Vivien.

“My head is throbbing, I think I’ll have to change the profession, I’m probably not good enough for what I am doing at present,” Doctor Ovale said.

“The reason why you should do it is because you are too good for it,” said Vivien.

“Why do you mean I am too good?” asked Doctor Ovale with some surprise.

“You are honest,” Vivien answered.

“How could you manage to learn all these crazy things, you are so young, who was your teacher?” asked Doctor Ovale.

“Thank you very much for your friendly words. Ever since I can remember I have had only one faithful friend who accompanied me wherever I was. That faithful friend was my tireless teacher. That absolutely faithful teacher taught me lots of beautiful things, each of which is so precious that – despite all the shocks and difficulties – it can render human life rich and full of meaning,” said Vivien.

“Who was your teacher?” asked Doctor Ovale.

“That marvellous teacher’s name was loneliness. Whenever I felt her presence and had the impression that all my ships had sunk, at the same time I heard her voice encouraging me to go on in spite of everything. Other friends may come and go, but the loneliness is always there when all other friends are gone and when life presses especially hard,” Vivien said.

“I am so grateful to you for every word, I have learnt so much from you within such a short time, more than I have ever thought I could. If I can be of any service to you, don’t hesitate to let me know,” Doctor Ovale said.

“I must thank you for this lovely conversation that you have triggered by your remark that beauty should never be compared with anything because it is always something individual and therefore unique. Because every expression of beauty is always a unique case it doesn’t tolerate any sort of comparison. I’ll remember that idea for ever. By the way, who was the author that you mentioned earlier, just before you suggested that we sit down somewhere and have a drink?” Vivien asked.

“Shakespeare was and still is his name,” said Doctor Ovale smiling. “The verse I referred to is in one of his sonnets.”

“Thank you so much – now certain things are much clearer,” said Vivien.

“What about going home, we have been in the town for quite some time now? I think we should be back before dusk,” said Doctor Ovale.

“Before we set off I intended to be back before dusk. Now, however, I don’t care any more when we’ll be back. Being here is much more exciting than being in a hospital room. But we can continue our walk; we need not hurry. Let’s go,” said Vivien, finishing the last piece of the ice-cream and putting the biscuit tube on the plate. Then she took off her pink scarf and put it into the side pocket of her turquoise jacket. Without a scarf her young face was framed naturally by her of shiny hair and her eyes became even more expressive.

“Aren’t you going to eat the biscuit?” asked Doctor Ovale, slightly surprised.

“No, I’m not, it is just a dry tube, the charm has always been and will always be in the sweet ice-cream balls,” said Vivien, casting a short impish glance at him.

Doctor Ovale blushed a trifle. He didn’t know if he had understood what his charming companion wanted to say, but he liked her words.