Читать книгу Radiant Terminus - Antoine Volodine - Страница 10

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• The wind came toward the plants again and it caressed them with nonchalant strength, it bent them harmoniously and it lay upon them with a purr; then it ran through several more times, and, when it was done with them, their scents sprang back up: savory sage, white sage, absinthe.

The sky was covered with a thin varnish of clouds. Just beyond, the invisible sun shone. It was impossible to look up without being dazzled.

At Kronauer’s feet, the dying woman groaned.

—Elli, she sighed.

Her mouth half-opened as if she was about to talk, but she did not say anything.

—Don’t worry, Vassia, he said.

Her name was Vassilissa Marachvili.

She was thirty years old.

Two months earlier, she was walking deftly down the streets, skipping, in the capital on the Orbise, and it wasn’t uncommon for someone to turn as she passed, because her appearance as a joyful, egalitarian fighter made hearts warm again. The situation was bad. Men needed to see faces like hers, to come close to bodies filled with freshness and life. They smiled, and then they went to the outskirts to be killed on the front lines.

• Two months earlier—an eternity. The downfall of the Orbise had happened as predicted, immediately followed by exodus and a completely empty future. The city centers flowed with the blood of reprisals. The barbarians had reclaimed power, just like everywhere else on the planet. Vassilissa Marachvili had wandered with a group of partisans for several days, and then the resistance had dispersed, and then died out. So, with two comrades in disaster—Kronauer and Ilyushenko—she managed to get around the barriers erected by the victors and enter the empty territories. A pathetic fence had forbidden her entrance. She crossed it without the slightest tremor. She would never go back to the other side. There would be no return, and the three of them knew it. They were fully aware that they were trailing the Orbise’s decline, that they were sinking with it into the final nightmare. The path would be difficult, that too they knew. They wouldn’t meet anyone, and they’d have to depend on their own strength, on what would remain of their own strength before the first burns. The empty areas harbored no fugitives or enemies, the radiation levels were terrifying, they hadn’t diminished for decades, and they promised every interloper radiation death and promised nothing else. After having crawled under the second fence’s barbed wire, they began to make their way southeast. Forests without animals, steppes, deserted villages, abandoned roads, railroad tracks invaded by plants—nothing they passed unnerved them. The universe vibrated imperceptibly and it was calm. Even the nuclear power plants, which had rendered the subcontinent uninhabitable through their bouts of insanity, even these damaged reactors—sometimes darkened, always silent—seemed harmless, and often, out of defiance, it was those places they chose to bivouac.

They had walked twenty-nine days in all. Very quickly they felt the consequences of radiation exposure. Sickness, weakening, disgust at existence, not to mention vomiting and diarrhea. Then their degradation sped up and the last two weeks were terrible. They kept progressing, but, when they lay down on the ground for the night, they wondered if they weren’t already dead. They wondered that without irony. They didn’t have any facts for an answer.

Vassilissa Marachvili fell into something that barely resembled life. Exhaustion had carved her features; the radioactive dust had attacked her body. She had more and more trouble talking. She couldn’t keep going.

• Kronauer leaned over her and walked his hand over her forehead. He didn’t know how to soothe her. He pressed at the sweat that was seeping from the ends of her eyebrows, and then he set to disentangling the black strands of hair stuck to her feverish skin. A few hairs stayed between his fingers. It had started falling out.

Then he got up and looked around the countryside again.

The panorama had something immortal about it. The immensity of the sky overpowered the immensity of the meadow. They were on a small hill and they could see far. Iron tracks cut the image in two. The land had once been covered with wheat, but over the course of time it had returned to the wilderness of prehistoric grains and mutant plants. Four hundred meters from the spot where Kronauer was hiding, at the bottom of the slope, the rails went along the ruins of a former sovkhoz. On the place that, fifty years ago, had been the heart of a communal village, agricultural facilities had endured the assaults of time. Dormitories, pigsties, or warehouses had collapsed upon themselves. Only the nuclear power plant and a massive doorway were still upright. Above the pharaonic pillars, a symbol and a name could be made out: “Red Star.” The same name was inscribed on the small power plant, half worn away but still legible. Around the buildings intended for habitation, roads and paths etched geometric residue. A flood of ryegrass and shrubs had ended up dissolving the original tar layer.

• A bit earlier on, a train had appeared on the edge of the horizon. It was so unexpected that they had first thought they were experiencing a collective delirium on their deathbeds, only to realize that they weren’t dreaming. They cautiously hid themselves in the plants, Vassilissa Marachvili stretched out on a bed of crackling stalks. The convoy slid slowly into the meadow, going from the north directly to its mysterious destination, but instead of continuing its route it rolled to a stop just before the starred door, right by a building that would, in the heyday of the sovkhoz’s splendor, have housed a poultry farm.

The train braked, like a boat docking, without any metallic screeching, and for a protracted minute, the diesel motor wheezed softly. Apparently a freight train or a transport for troops or prisoners. A locomotive, four windowless cars, all dilapidated and dirty. Minutes went by: three, then five, then a few more. Nobody appeared. The engineer was nowhere to be seen.

Above the steppe the sky glittered. A uniformly and magnificently gray vault. Clouds, warm air, and plants all bore witness to the fact that the humans had no place here, and yet they made people want to fill their lungs and sing hymns to nature, to its inexhaustible force, and to its beauty. From time to time, flocks of crows flew over the dark strip that marked the beginning of the taiga. They went northwest and disappeared somewhere above this universe of black trees where men seemed even more unwelcome than in the steppe.

• The forest, Kronauer thought. All right for a short trip, so long as we stick to the edges. But once we go deep within, there’s no longer any northeast or southwest. Directions don’t exist anymore, we’ll have to make do with a world of wolves, of bears, and mushrooms, and we won’t make our way out again, even when we walk in a straight line for hundreds of kilometers. He was already imagining the first rows of trees, and he quickly saw the gloomy thicknesses, the dead pines, fallen to their natural death thirty or forty years earlier, blackened with moss but resistant to rot. His parents had escaped camps and gotten lost there, in the taiga, and they had disappeared there. He couldn’t think of the forest without recalling the tragic image of this man and this woman whom he had never known. Ever since he had been old enough to think of them, he had imagined them as a pair of nomads, forever neither alive nor dead—just lost. Don’t make the same mistake they did, he thought. The taiga can’t be a refuge, an alternative to death or the camps. It’s vastnesses where man has no place. There’s only shadow and bad encounters. Unless we’re animals, we can’t live in there.

He took a few seconds before abandoning the idea. Then he came back to the steppe that was rippling once more under a gust of wind. He saw the stopped train again, and, above the world, the cloudy and infinite sky.

The diesel motor wasn’t groaning anymore.

He squinted.

The dying woman moaned again.

• With his too-hot and too-long felt coat, ill-suited to the weather, his too-big boots, and his head shorn of hair that wouldn’t grow again, Kronauer looks like many of us—I mean that at first glance he looks like a corpse or a soldier from the civil war, running away without having won a single victory, an exhausted and suspicious-looking and strung-out man.

He sits on the balls of his feet in order to stay unnoticed. The plants come up to his shoulders, but as he squats down they close over his head. He has spent his childhood in orphanages, in urban zones, far away from meadows and, theoretically, he ought not to know the names of the plants surrounding him right then. But a woman had given him some knowledge of botany, a woman expert in plant nomenclature, and, out of nostalgia for this dead lover, he gazes thoughtfully at the steppe grasses, focusing on whether they have ears, oval leaves, lyrate leaves, whether they grow in bulbs or rhizomes. After examining them, he labels them. Downwind and nearby great ogronts, clumps of kvoina, zabakulians, septentrines, Jeanne-of-the-Communists, foxbarrens, and aldousses are whispering.

Now he watches the bottom of the hill, less than half a kilometer off. The bustle isn’t great. The engineer has gone out along the locomotive—an engine manufactured at the beginning of the Second Soviet Union—but he has gone down the small steps and, after having walked about twenty meters in the grass, he has lain down on the ground. And there, he has clearly already fallen asleep or passed out.

Then the cars’ doors had opened one by one.

Soldiers had come out of the second and third cars. Foot soldiers in rags, walking and gesturing like drunk or sick men. Kronauer counted four. After taking several staggering steps, they leaned against the wood door, their heads lolling or turned toward the clouds. Barely moving, not talking. Then they passed around a cigarette. Once the tobacco was used up, three of the men dragged themselves back to their respective cars. The fourth went off to satisfy his natural urge. He’s descended about twenty meters down the path into a huge thicket of sage. The growth swallowed him up completely. He hasn’t reappeared since.

It seems like the convoy has come to a halt in front of the ruins of the Red Star, as if it was an important railroad stop or even a station where passengers had planned to embark or debark. The locomotive motor has been switched off, and nothing suggests that the conductor will start it again anytime soon.

—Maybe they’re out of fuel, Ilyushenko suggests.

• Ilyushenko, Kronauer, and Vassilissa Marachvili composed a harmonious trio, bound together by durable ties that felt much like old, unbreakable sentiments of camaraderie. But when they came into the empty lands together for a communal march toward death, they had only known each other for a few days. More specifically, Kronauer was a new figure to Ilyushenko and Vassilissa Marachvili. Given the circumstances of the Orbise’s fall, forty-eight hours was certainly as good as a year, and several days a full decade. When they snuck under the barbed-wire fence of no return, it was as if they had lived together a long time and shared everything—joys and regrets, beliefs, disillusionments, and fights for egalitarianism. The Orbise’s last redoubts had been taken by the enemy and they had ended up together in a small rearguard formation taking in survivors who still wanted to fight. Unfortunately, their commander had gone crazy and, after a week of hiding, the formation was no longer what they had hoped it would be when they had joined it. Their group was no longer the germ of a future resistance army, but rather an assortment of disoriented deserters, driven toward nothingness by a suicidal visionary. The commander apparently wanted to recapture the Orbise by calling on demonic, alien, and kamikaze forces. They moved around the capital’s periphery without any strategy, submitting to his senseless but iron will. The commander gave absurd orders, sent men on suicide bombings where there were no victims aside from civilians and themselves. When he pointed his gun at a recalcitrant man, rebels disarmed him and then shot him before heading off in all directions. Kronauer, Vassilissa Marachvili, and Ilyushenko hadn’t shirked when they had to fire at their leader, but after doing justice, they said good-bye to their futures and went toward the irradiated no-man’s-lands, the empty territories, far from enemies and far from any hope.

• Ilyushenko. A tanned fortysomething, faithful like us to the party since his adolescence, and also enthusiastic enough during his membership in the Komsomol to have a crest with a sickle, a hammer, and a rifle and rising sun in the background tattooed on his neck. The crest had been burned into his skin by an artist no doubt equally as enthusiastic, but who hadn’t mastered his art, so that the drawing didn’t seem to refer to the culture of the proletarian revolution—it looked like a tangled mess on which a sort of spider sat. Ilyushenko had been forced to carry this ruined image upon his neck, but he hid it under his shirt collar or a scarf. In an encyclopedia of capitalist universes, he had seen reproductions of punk tattoos with tarantulas and repulsive webs and, even though these were images from a world destroyed two hundred years earlier, he didn’t want to be mistaken for having nostalgia for neo-fascist nihilism. He was a man of average height, with robust muscles, who didn’t like idle talk and knew how to fight. He had formerly been a truck driver, then he had been a garbage collector, then, when the Orbise’s future had taken a bad turn, he had fought for three years with the famous Ninth Division, first as a mechanic and then as a member of the tank crew and now, as the commune of the Orbise had given up the ghost, he was in old rags and depressed, thereby resembling everyone else in that part of the world and even elsewhere.

—Give me the binoculars, Kronauer demanded and held out his hand.

The binoculars had been taken from the commander after the discomfiting firing-squad episode. He’d had to scrub the glass to get rid of the organic debris—a yellowish chunk, some dried blood.

Now Kronauer looked through the lenses and he felt on his nose the thing bringing back so many memories of wounded bodies and military insanity. In the foreground, the convoy had taken on troubling colors: camouflage green, dusty brown, dark rust. The focus knob had been damaged and he couldn’t zoom in on any faces—besides, there weren’t any faces visible right then. Once again, no bodies were visible. The ones who were lying or sitting amid the great ogronts and kvoinas hadn’t gotten up. The others didn’t even lift their heads in the doorframes. He could make out a pair of legs in the shadow of a car, but that was it.

—If they don’t have diesel fuel, I wonder where they’re going to find more, Ilyushenko said, kneeling next to Kronauer. I’d be surprised if there was any left in the sovkhoz.

By Kronauer’s right leg, the dying woman moaned.

Around the train the plants rippled once again, the degenerate rye, and then became calm. A clump of whitish plumes was still moving around by itself, as if it had a life of its own. Some Jeanne-of-the-Communists.

—Eh, Kronauer said. Who knows what’s going on in their heads.

Ilyushenko motioned uncomprehendingly. He shook his head, sat on the ground, and didn’t pay any more attention to what was happening down below.

• They didn’t move for a while, invisible within their hideaway of long leaves and stalks, which had started turning yellow and even black in the wake of the first night frosts. About fifteen meters off, a mass of plants spiced the air. Vornies-cinq-misères, Kronauer thought. Mixed with bouralayans, caincers. A bit closer there were mint-scented sarviettes.

The dying woman was reinvigorated by these scents, got up on her elbow, and touched Kronauer’s calf.

—Did they get out of the train? she asked.

Vassilissa Marachvili was a brave girl and although her friends had taken turns carrying her on their backs for more than a week, they had never felt like they were weighed down by a weakling. She was impervious to pain and she accepted adversity gracefully. When they had to eliminate their crazy commander, for example, she didn’t bat an eye as she joined the firing squad. And when they’d entered the world that nuclear accidents had made unlivable for ten millennia to come, she had put on a brave face despite the bleak prospect. Nobody had heard her prophesying any horrors that might await them. And later on, when radiation’s earliest ravages had started to do her in, she hadn’t complained. On the contrary, she had laughed with them, with Kronauer and Ilyushenko, once it was clear that all three of them were coming apart, physically and mentally, and that they were headed toward their ends. Her two comrades admired her refusal to consider everything a tragedy, even the defeat, even their impending doom, and they felt a mute but great tenderness for her. She was naturally happy; she had lived that way for thirty years—obstinate but also wryly detached—no matter the circumstances. After high school, she had worked at a brasserie in the capital, and then joined a gang of robbers, then enlisted in a She-Wolves regiment battling for the Orbise’s survival. And now she was sick; she was vomiting blood and didn’t have any more strength.

Kronauer set aside the binoculars and rubbed her hand, her wrist.

—Every so often one of them comes out, he said. They’ll make their way through the plants to do their business. Sometimes I’ll see one come back. Sometimes they stay in the plants. I can’t really tell what they’re doing.

—Who are they? Vassilissa Marachvili asked.

—I’m not sure, said Kronauer.

—There’s a locomotive and four cars, Ilyushenko said. They’re deportees or soldiers. Or a few of both. For now, there’s almost nobody to be seen. They’re waiting.

The dying woman slumped back down. She hadn’t opened her eyes.

—Why? she asked.

—Why are they still waiting? Kronauer asked.

—Yes, said Vassilissa. Why are they waiting to go out, if they’ve opened the doors?

—I don’t know, Kronauer said. It’s odd.

—Maybe I’m sleeping and I’m dreaming, the dying woman mused.

—Yes, said Kronauer wearily.

He had already heard her babbling deliriously, and he suspected she was headed in that direction again, toward this delirium, these words coming out of her fever or out of nowhere.

—Yes, Vassilissa Marachvili whispered. Or maybe they’re the ones sleeping and we’re seeing their dream.

A new brume of aromatic herbs wafted through.

—That might explain it, said Ilyushenko sympathetically.

—Eh, Kronauer said.

—Maybe what we’re seeing is their dream, Vassilissa Marachvili insisted.

—You think so? Ilyushenko said.

—Yes, said Vassilissa Marachvili. Maybe we’re already dead, all three of us, and what we’re seeing is their dream.

Then she was quiet, and so were they.

• Sky. Silence. Rippling plants. Whispering plants. Rustling plants. Murmuring mauvegarde, chugda, marche-sept-lieues, epernielle, old-captives, saquebrille, lucemingot, quick-bleeds, Saint-Valiyans, Valiyan-harelips, sottefraise, iglitsa. Rasping odilie-des-foins, grand-odilie, chauvegrille, or calvegrillette. Uniformly sighing prance-the-ruins. The plants were of many colors, and each one even had its own way of bending under the wind or twisting around. Some resisted. Others slumped gracefully and waited a good while after the gust before returning to their original position. Plants whispering in their passive movements, in their resistance.

Time flowed.

Time took its time flowing, but it flowed.

• Vassilissa Marachvili’s state worsened around four in the afternoon. Her hands convulsed, her ruined face was covered with droplets, the skin on her protruding cheekbones had turned pale. She couldn’t muster the energy to open her eyes anymore. On her chin were flakes of dried blood. Fetid breath came from her half-open mouth. She was no longer speaking intelligibly.

Kroner flicked away a fly that had landed close to the dying woman’s lips. He was watching over Vassilissa Marachvili, with his sleeve he dabbed at Vassilissa Marachvili’s forehead to get rid of this deathly dew that was seeping out, with his fingertips he wiped under Vassilissa Marachvili’s eyes, at the roots of her hair, around her huge and downy ears. He remembered what had bound them together these last few weeks, an intense friendship murky enough to turn almost immediately into a romantic adventure or, rather, a strong and discreet alliance among the three of them, augmented by bravery, self-sacrifice, and tenderness. On a physical or sexual level, the love Kronauer and Ilyushenko had for Vassilissa Marachvili hadn’t come to anything. She seemed to share her love between them both with the clear but unspoken desire that neither of them have a chiefly sexual relationship with her. All three of them knew that if a couple formed in their small group, things would only get worse.

And so this danger had gone away all by itself, quickly and easily considering their shared deterioration and exhaustion. They had ended up living like brothers and sisters, without fearing intimacy and touching, without fearing a whiff of incest or romance.

He reached for her hands and rubbed them, taking care not to hurt her. Her hand was dirty, clammy, and unusually hot.

—She needs water, Ilyushenko said.

—I don’t have any more, Kronauer said, tilting his head toward the bottle that had been his flask for the past few days.

—Me neither, said Ilyushenko. We drank it all when we got here.

—I thought we’d have found some in the sovkhoz, Kronauer said regretfully.

—We’ve been stupid, said Ilyushenko.

—Yes, we have, Kronauer confirmed.

• Silence.

Immense sky.

Plants. Immense expanse of plants and, along the horizon, to the east, the forest’s edge. Above the trees, its origin an unknown distance away, was thin gray smoke. It rose straight up and then dissolved into a cloud.

—We could go to them, Kronauer suggested.

—Who are you talking about? asked Ilyushenko.

—The men on the train, Kronauer said. They probably have water.

—They’re soldiers, said Ilyushenko.

—We could tell them there’s a wounded woman, maybe they’ll fill a bottle for us.

—We don’t even know which faction they belong to, Ilyushenko said. What do they care about a wounded woman? Instead of giving us water, they could shoot us.

—Doubt it, Kronauer said. They’re probably not enemies.

—Who knows. They’re probably counterrevolutionaries.

—Or crazies.

—That, too. Crazies. And besides, women, they probably haven’t seen any in a while. Better not tell them there’s one around here.

• Silence. Sky. It was nearly five in the afternoon. The clouds had thinned, but were no longer blinding. Behind them, the sun flung pale rays. It was already October. The day wouldn’t last much longer.

—The smoke over there, did you see it? Kronauer asked.

He pointed toward the faint trail above the trees.

Ilyushenko got up a little to see which way he was pointing.

—A village, he hazarded. Or a fire burning on its own.

—More likely a village, Kronauer said.

—It’s pretty far off, said Ilyushenko.

—I could make it to the forest before nightfall, Kronauer said.

—You’d have to walk fast, Ilyushenko remarked.

—Then, tomorrow morning, I’d go look for help in the village, Kronauer said.

Ilyushenko shrugged.

—Once you’re in the woods, you won’t have anything to point the way. You could get lost, he said.

—I’m not afraid of going into the forest, Kronauer lied. I’ll manage.

—That’s the beginning of the taiga, Ilyushenko countered. It might not be too thick for the first few kilometers, but then it stretches out in all directions. There’s only one chance in ten that you’ll get to a village.

—Have to take the risk, Kronauer said. There’s no other solution.

—We could wait for the convoy to start again, Ilyushenko suggested.

—Sure, and what happens if it doesn’t?

The dying woman let out a groan. She wanted to say something. Kronauer leaned over her, as if to place a kiss on her lips. He looked at her mouth carefully. Sounds came out. He didn’t understand anything.

He kissed her forehead, put out his hand to wipe the damp away once again. His nostrils took in the scent of her deterioration, under his palm he felt the unusual heat of her face.

—Vassia, he whispered. Don’t be afraid. The soldiers haven’t seen us. We’re safe in the plants. I’m going to find water. It’ll get better.

A gust of wind interrupted him. The plants bent, trembled. The wind passed over Vassilissa Marachvili, it calmed Vassilissa Marachvili a little, it caressed Vassilissa Marachvili, it helped her to breathe.

—There’s a village, Kronauer said. I’m going over there. I’ll come back with water.

Vassilissa Marachvili wasn’t trying to talk anymore. She seemed unconscious.

For a good fifteen minutes, Kronauer stayed on his knees by her. He held her hand, he watched her face, which was a beautiful and energetic young girl’s and now dying. Remnants of blood soiled her lips, and cracks had appeared on her cheeks.

It was hard for him to leave her. The three of them all considered themselves already dead, but he feared the worst for her.

• Ilyushenko had picked up the binoculars. He looked at the railroad tracks once again. He stayed half upright for a couple of minutes, his head hidden under a strong bunch of fausse-malmequaire.

—They’re settling down for the night, he finally said. All the cars are open. I can see about twenty of them. Soldiers, prisoners. There’s six or seven of them exploring the ruins of the Red Star. Probably looking for water or something to burn. They’re going to make a campfire.

—All right, well, I’ll go now, Kronauer said.

—Be careful, Ilyushenko said. They’ve positioned a watchman on one of the car roofs. Walk in the valley for now. That way, if he sees you, you’ll be too far away for him to gun you down.

—Why would they want to gun me down? Kronauer asked.

—They’re soldiers, Ilyushenko said. They have to obey the orders they’re given. They know that nobody normal will be in the area. They’ve likely been told to shoot at enemies and deserters.

—Have to admit that makes sense, Kronauer said. If we still had our guns, we’d do the same.

• After having crossed the valley, Kronauer kept a quick pace toward the forest and, although exhaustion was turning his legs to jelly, he didn’t relent. At this point the landscape behind him had changed. The unmoving convoy and the sovkhoz were no longer visible. Nor was the hill on which Ilyushenko and Vassilissa Marachvili were hiding. Aside from the distant black line marking the beginning of the forest, there were no points of reference. The sun had disappeared, and in any case Kronauer didn’t know how to read the sky like a map, he’d never been raised like a farmer or a trapper.

Waist-deep, sometimes shoulder-deep in a verdurous ocean, he pressed ahead rather than save his strength. His body hurt but he refused to accept it. He hadn’t let himself stop during the first two kilometers, assuming that he needed to evade the watchman’s potential gunfire, and after that, he hadn’t let himself stop for more than the ten or twelve seconds needed to catch his breath. He was wholly focused on his goal. He wanted to reach the forest’s edge before nightfall, so he could cross it the next morning at daybreak and go straight through the trees until he emerged and saw a village. It was a simple goal. A clear and simple action. Vassilissa Marachvili’s life depended on his accomplishing it.

From time to time he’d trample through marshes. Then he’d stop to see if there wasn’t a spring or a pool nearby for him to drink and refill his bottle and the one he’d taken from Vassilissa Marachvili’s belt. The ground was wet and sometimes had a muddy consistency, but he never found water in a salvageable form. He’d keep looking one or two minutes, rummaging through argamanche shrubs or bushes of gourgouledes-pauvres, which usually cropped up near water sources. He spread apart the pulpy stalks of lancelottes and grumes-ameres in vain. Then, muttering a quick rosary of curses, he went back on his way.

Plants that obstruct his calves, his knees, his thighs. Plants that rarely snap, except for dame-exquises, regrignelle, deadchive plumes, or folle-en-jouisse. Hard, elastic, violent plants. Plants that give way at the slightest touch, like twistsprouts, fine-brousse, majdahar, souffe-magnifique, caped mudbeaks, or mere-du-lépreux. Plants that feet could never crush. Plants that give off strong and disagreeable scents, such as torchpotils or pugnaise-des-errants, and even pestilential scents, especially the dangue-à-clochettes. Plants that look like thick hedges. Plants that exhale their perfumes with evening’s arrival. Plants with acrid sap. Plants with heady sap, like diaze-lights or dive-diazes. Dark green, emerald green, yellowish green, silvery green like huckster terbabary, bronze green like ravine terbabary. Seeds, dull green, shiny green, ears. No flowers. Plants that don’t resemble anything, besides drabness and absence. Soft, weak plants. Large stretches with fewer insects than in the summer months, but still buzzing with grasshoppers and flies.

The noise of this progress. Its screeching violence. A man pushing at full speed through vegetation that doesn’t welcome him at all. A man crossing the steppes instead of sleeping on the ground. A man breaking the plants’ silence.

The occasional crow high above. Five or six of them, often fewer, flying toward the forest. Always toward the northeast or the east, as if there was only one possible direction. The occasional shrill cry under the sky. As if, out of what little solidarity with other animals remained, or out of respect for a fairy-tale tradition, they were trying to give the lost man a useful direction or a warning. Kronauer didn’t slow down even to watch them go by. He looked up, but he didn’t slow down.

• Kronauer went, his body fixated on the effort, while his thoughts wandered. Several planes of consciousness merged within him, just like when he was falling asleep, and, without any conflict, intermingled. He grew obsessed with the idea of getting to the village at all costs and he saw himself in a rather cinematic sequence, in which the villagers around him heard his pleas and rushed to the Red Star sovkhoz with water and supplies. All the while he kept envisioning Vassilissa Marachvili and Ilyushenko in distress on the hill, doomed to lie in the grasses and keep quiet so as not to be noticed by the soldiers who had bivouacked by the rails. But other images merged with these: moments of loving friendship that had developed among the three over the last weeks, around campfires, along deserted paths, amid ghost towns, after interminable hours of walking in the open steppes. The particulars of this long walk. Their farewell to rifles and cartridges, which they had decided were no longer of any help to them and which they hid in a bakery oven in a dead city.

Cold raindrops breaking up a star-studded night.

Two wild cows visible in the distance.

Vassilissa Marachvili not turning around to undress, before going to wash herself in a brown lake. The smell of Vassilissa Marachvili’s body still shivering on the lakeshore, her sweat replaced by the stink of mud.

The “forbidden” and “danger” signs that rust had eaten away. Over a skull framed in red and black, snails that, before dying, had left heavy trails of slime.

Ilyushenko looking for one last cookie in his rucksack and not finding it.

Vassilissa Marachvili’s teeth, which he had, many times at their trip’s start, imagined sliding his tongue across.

Ilyushenko and Vassilissa Marachvili whispering.

The skin a grass snake had shed in the middle of the road.

The idea that they had been irradiated, that they were baking, and were already dead, in the process of breaking apart at the base of a reactor.

A railway track disappearing beneath stinging nettles.

Villages far off, lifeless and repulsive.

A stop close to a wrecked nuclear power plant, in a place open to the winds but stinking of grease, and the discussion they’d had to decide if it was grease from sheep or from bears.

But we were the ones who smelled bad, he suddenly realized.

He stopped walking, saw the sky brighter behind him than over the forest. The steppes stretched out endlessly, wavy, velvety, hued yellow and green with white smudges indicating tufts of Jeanne-of-the-Communists, spotted doroglosses.

He caught his breath. He breathed in the vastness deeply.

You’re on the steppes, Kronauer, he thought. There’s no shame in being here for the end. It’s beautiful. Appreciate it. Not everyone gets to die on the steppes.

• The steppes. He had spent his childhood in the city, in an orphanage that rarely took trips to the countryside; what passed for trips were days dedicated to the communal potato harvest. Urban settings were practically everything he knew. His universe of references was circumscribed by wide avenues, inner courtyards, gray buildings, and exhaust fumes. Still, the movies and books the school had deluged him with had allowed him to roam, meander, and travel among the grassy spaces flattened under the blue sky, alongside the Scythians, the Avars, the Pechenegs, the Tatars, the Red Cavalry, and, of course, in the company of the mythic Russian heroes of Kiev every single child in the Orbise knew: Ilya Muromets, Alyosha Popovitch, and all their partners, rivals, and comrades. The steppes eventually became as familiar and essential to him as the capital’s streets. And later, when he was no longer a child, he fell in love with Irina Echenguyen—and, in this theater of epic horseback rides beloved by the Orbise’s orphans and communards alike, this unforgettable woman had fostered his love for botany.

Irina Echenguyen, like the rest of us, also loved those Russian byliny and the scenes of endless prairies intertwined with millennia of history, from the Scythian Empire to the Second Soviet Union, by way of Genghis Kahn’s thunderous horses and Chapayev’s crackling machine guns. But, above all, she was a member of a scientific team that worked on naming uncultivated grasses and wild plants in general. Kronauer didn’t have the expert knowledge she did, and he remained wholly unable to help her in her complicated classifications, but he had learned to see the grasses as something other than an undifferentiated mass of plants. He had hundreds of names in his head, lists he had watched her patiently put together when he lived with her, had reread with her, had recited together with her as if they were post-exotic litanies.

They were married for ten years. Irina Echenguyen died after a long illness, during a counter-revolutionary attack. She was put on a drip in a clinic. The counter-revolutionaries burst into the common room where she had been resting with a dozen other female cancer patients, tore out tubes and needles, broke all the medical equipment, and then raped the women, even the ones who already looked like corpses. It was a group of dog-headed enemies, zealots for exploiting men for the sake of men. Then they deserted the place, but before they left, they killed Irina Echenguyen.

• Molle-guillotes, malveinés, ashrangs, smallglory captives, willow benaises. Damsels-in-flight, masquerats, four-o’clock beauties, pituitaines, sweetbalers, or midnight Jeannes.

• A pair of crows, very low, did not caw as they passed right over his head. The sky was far less blinding than it had been earlier. Dusk was coming. The temperature had dropped and every now and then harsh gusts of wind blew. The black line of the forest, now much nearer, had ceased to be an abstract image. It was already resolving into trees and branches, with perceptibly different heights and thicknesses. He still had two kilometers to go before reaching it.

That’s good, he thought. I’ll have time to get there before night falls.

He had already stumbled several times and he took another break. One minute, he thought. Just one minute.

The smoke that had just a minute ago suggested the possibility of a village was now faded away. Now there weren’t any points of reference left. Only, in front of him, the dark mass of the first larches.

He closed his eyes so his dizziness and exhaustion would dissipate. A gray and erratic layer of clouds spun behind his eyelids, but it was mainly the darkness of the forest he was thinking about.

Damn it, Kronauer, he reproached himself, don’t tell me you’ve got the willies! Your parents died in the taiga, so what? You’re still far from the taiga, it’s just a slightly dark wood, it won’t be more than a few kilometers deep. Two or three hours of walking, and you’ll end up in fields with a village and countrymen. Get a hold of yourself! Don’t give up that fast! Your little troubles are nothing compared to the apocalypse that hit the Orbise!

• He was thirty-nine years old. He was born in the Orbise. All his schooling had been focused on the future of Communes for workers and countrymen.

His view of the world was illuminated by proletarian morality: self-sacrifice, altruism, and confrontation. And like all of us, of course, he had suffered the world revolution’s setbacks and collapses. We didn’t understand how the rich and their mafias had managed to win the trust of the laboring classes. And before our rage, first had been our stupefaction when we realized that these masters of unhappiness were triumphing around the globe and were on the brink of annihilating the last of us. We had no explanation when we interrogated ourselves about humanity’s bad choices. Marxist optimism prevented us from seeing the proof of serious defects in the genetic heritage of our species, an idiotic affinity for self-destruction, a masochist apathy in the face of predators, and perhaps even above all a fundamental inability when it came to collectivism. We thought this deep down, but, as the official theory relayed these hypotheses with a shrug of the shoulders, we didn’t broach the topic, even among comrades. Even in joking among comrades.

Kronauer’s intellectual education after high school had been wrecked and there were huge holes in his knowledge, like so many other young people in the Orbise when their studies were interrupted by chaos and defeats. If the worldwide situation hadn’t been so unfavorable to egalitarianism, perhaps he would have turned toward a quiet career with an apprenticeship that wasn’t too long, a career nothing like a soldier’s. He wasn’t very interested in abstract things. He did like books and happily borrowed novels from the local libraries, but a list of what he’d borrowed, aside from political classics, would show that his preferences veered toward inoffensive adventure stories and the most traditional post-exotic bluettes. Deep down, even if he wasn’t loath to sit down for hours reading in silence, he didn’t feel comfortable when he was confronted with the complex structures of the soul, and he much preferred action. One example had actually disrupted his existence. When the Komsomol had suggested it, he had refused to join a school for Party officials, and asked to be assigned to an operating unit. After his first year of training, he would have been assigned a political instructor’s minor responsibilities, but the propaganda work didn’t appeal to him. He wanted direct confrontation with enemies or traitors. The Orbise was in danger. Military violence seemed more natural to him than meetings where he would have to call for military violence. Therefore the start of civil war hadn’t troubled him in the least. He’d immediately joined the standing army, and he’d been sent to work with one of the clandestine organizations that found unconventional ways to heckle the enemy. Then he had been assigned to a Special Intelligence Center. Aside, of course, from periods of peace when he went back to civil life as a worker without much qualification, sometimes in construction and sometimes in the food industry, he had been fighting here and there for fifteen years now. He had never been wounded. He was in the prime of life. That said, he had seen too many corpses, witnessed too many defeats, and he had lost most of the hope he’d still had.

• He started walking again. He couldn’t keep a steady pace. The two kilometers that still separated him from the forest’s edge seemed to stretch out interminably. Keep going, Kronauer, keep going and don’t think, don’t look, don’t count the meters you’ve walked, don’t count what’s left, don’t count anything! . . . Don’t listen to anything but your footsteps, don’t look at the sky, keep going like you’re in good shape!

The landscape was already taking on the gray and purple hues of twilight.

He veered away to avoid a barely visible burial mound; there had been thousands of them on the steppes since the Bronze Age, a kurgan that had been built on his path, tamped down and nondescript, a symbol of existences wasted and millennia gone for nothing, just to witness the collapse of egalitarianism and a wave of derelicts just like the very first nomads eons earlier. Now he staggered by a field of hare-rye, a mutant variety that had appeared in the countryside thirty years earlier, and then was cultivated close to the capital to make flour that tasted like cardboard. He stepped into the withered, unappealingly brown ears, then he went through. He drifted as if drunk. And suddenly his legs. They gave way beneath him. He hobbled ten more meters, and then he kneeled on the ground and slumped down.

Well, he thought, trying to get back up. It’s nothing. A wave of tiredness.

He couldn’t get himself back upright. His muscles wouldn’t respond. There were cramps in his neck, all his joints were on fire. He breathed loudly.

You think you’re still alive, a voice suddenly said in him, inside his head, but unfamiliar.

—What! he grumbled. What’s going . . .

He waved his hand like he was trying to swat away flies or wasps. He was on his knees, exhausted. And this voice.

You think you’re still alive, but it’s over. You’re just a relic. Your corpse is already rotting somewhere on the moist earth and you don’t get that it’s over. It’s just after-death mumbo-jumbo bouncing around in your head. Don’t keep trying. Just lie down where you fell and wait for the crows to take care of your burial.

Then, just as quickly as it had come, the voice left. It left him entirely, without a trace in his memory, as if it had never spoken in him. Once again he found himself alone, with his breath short and hoarse, with his bodily pains, his exhaustion.

Just a moment of tiredness, he thought, a big one. Nothing serious. Night won’t fall for another half an hour, three-quarters of an hour. I’m going to lie down. Just not enough food, dehydration. I’m going to lie down until it passes. As it is, my legs won’t get me anywhere.

He lay down. Above his head, when he opened his eyes, the sky had started to whirl again. He shut his eyes against his nausea. Shaken once more by the wind, the plants brushed against him. He listened.

False ryegrass, he thought. Racines-rieuses, lovushkas, solivaines. This too will pass. Even if I black out for a minute, this will pass. Then I’ll get back up, and if it’s not too dark I’ll go sleep under the trees, at the edge by the first trees, and I’ll wait for dawn before going into the forest. Hang in there, Kronauer! Tomorrow you’ll be in the village, and then it’ll be okay. Everything’s spinning right now, but this will pass.

Tomorrow. In the village. It’ll be okay.

• Chiennelaines, doroglosses. Lovushkas-du-savatier, rogue solivaines, aromatic solivaines.