Читать книгу A Practical Guidebook for Free Travellers. Translated from Russian by Peter Lagutkin - Антон Кротов - Страница 12

To get the car to stop is just half the work; what remains to be done is to get it moving with you inside – and make the driver happy with his decision. Many beginners want to know: what to say to the driver? Here is one option:

«Good morning, can you give me a lift down this road?»

You will usually hear: «Get in» – or: «Where you wanna go?» I usually name my final destination: «Well actually I want to go to Moscow, but any place in that direction is okay.» The faraway place you name usually arouses interest and can become the subject of your conversation. Or you can say: «Could you take me some distance in the direction of Moscow?» The driver will drawl, expressing doubt: «To Moscow? I’m only going to Tuymazy» – or refer to any other obscure, nearby locality. You accept, and the conversation goes on with more incredulous drawling: «Moscow? Ain’t that takin’ you, like, forever?» – and so on.

If I know that the nearest good spot is ahead of the city N, I say:

«Good morning, could you give me a lift to the city N?»

When you are in a city, or in the Caucasus, or in Central Asia, or in some foreign countries, or anywhere else where you worry the driver might be a cabby in disguise (which is how we call those who ask for money after giving you a lift), you say:

«Good morning! Could you give me a lift down the road? I’ve nothing to pay with.»

Or, after finding out where the driver is headed, say:

«Can I go with you? No money!» (Or: «For free!»)

And they will say, with a funny accent: «What money, schmoney, what’re you talking about! Get right in, my friend!»

Or you can say: «Good morning! Are you headed straight? Can I go with you? – I’m a hitch-hiker!» – or: «Good morning! Could you take a hitch-hiker in the direction of Chernyshevsk?»

«Who’s a hitch-hiker?» – the driver will possibly say. You explain, and there you are.

Many people want to know what else to talk about with the driver.

Avoid extremities. Some hitch-hikers will talk their heads off, spouting jokes and funny stories, some act out Silent Bob. But the true wisdom lies in getting the driver to do the talking. Sage hitch-hikers will calmly digest incoming information and ask questions, letting the driver go on and on and be happy to have struck upon such an interesting conversationalist (you).

Conversation subjects can be different. Ask the driver where he is going, and then say you want to know more about the place. What’s worth seeing? Is it a historic place? How’s life for the locals? What are the living expenses? How long will it take to get there? If you’re talking to a lorry driver, ask if he’s been to the places you are interested in recently. And how long has he been hauling stuff around? And where was he employed before that? Let him tell you at length how spectacularly that particular Soviet industry collapsed (doesn’t apply to the younger ones any more).

If it’s a used western car just purchased in Europe, ask about life in the West. Remind that life in Russia is better. If it’s a fancy brand, ask about its advantages. Ask how often the traffic police become an annoyance. In a word, make the driver talkative.

If you like music, bring your favourite records and offer to play them, especially if both of you are tired of the tracks most heard on the road.

Drivers are an invaluable source of information about road features, passing cities, and sometimes about local places of interest. Don’t miss the opportunity to extract all this from them. You’ll learn more in this manner than if you keep telling one and the same life story to everyone. And if the driver becomes interested in you – then you’ll be even more pleased with your conversation.

If it’s night time, the driver has probably picked you up just to keep awake by interesting conversation. So don’t fall asleep in a moving vehicle!

Many beginners are worried about paying the driver. It is easy to observe, however, that most drivers in Russia and many ex-Soviet countries don’t demand (or expect) any payment! Even in vicinity of big cities (such as Moscow and St. Petersburg), only some 10% or less ask for money. A «cabby,» as we call them, will say immediately: «How much will you pay?» If that didn’t happen and you’re getting in, the issue will likely never arise again. (However, if you are inside a city, it can be the silent implication that you pay your fare, so warn the driver immediately!)

If you manage establish rapport with the driver, he won’t even think about money. Of course, there are «cabby countries» like Tajikistan where hitch-hiking is the only transportation available, and so travellers usually do pay – well, that makes it all the more important to reveal your nature as a free traveller. But in Russia, Europe, China, and many other countries drivers make their money by other means.

You yourself must try to take care of the driver. If you are carrying foodstuffs, or water, or chewing gum – you must offer some to the driver. They usually refuse, but it’s important to show gratitude. Present the driver with a copy of this book.

But what if you become friends with the driver, he takes you where you wanted, then you’re getting out, and all of sudden you hear:

«Hey! What about some cash for the fuel?» – then what?

Does that really happen? Well, in Russia – very rarely.

It happened a couple of times to me. And since it is a sign of improper behaviour on the part of the traveller (was too lazy or too meek to explain what he was doing), then, if I have the money, I donate some of it to the driver (the approximate price of a bus ride of comparable distance). Some people say you ought to lie that you have no money at all. But then if you haven’t warned the driver and do have the money – it’s stupid to be frugal: trying to use less money is like trying to use less air. Anyway, if you really don’t have the money, you should have said so. Whenever in doubt – give a warning!

In general, if a driver has given you a lift and is asking for money, he is not «bad» – you are foolish. When you are in faraway countries of Africa or Asia, always warn the driver as you get in the car. Learn how to say in the local language: «No money!» – or: «Straight – for free – possible?» In many places, it is implied and expected that you pay; in many places, ordinary cars and lorries are the only public transport available.

While travelling, you will learn to determine the driver’s expectations just from the appearance of his person and his vehicle. If it’s a posh car and the driver asks questions about hitch-hiking, and offers you a meal, and you two are generally having a nice conversation; or if it’s a huge lorry with expensive-looking (and homogeneous) load and it doesn’t stop for other (local) hitch-hikers – then it’s clear you’ve been picked up out of curiosity, not out of greed. But if it’s a shabby jalopy, the driver eats separately from you, keeps silent all the time, picks up other hitchers, and accepts money from them; or if it’s a dilapidated lorry or a bus transporting a bunch of blokes and a heap of bits and ends – and you forgot to give the no-money warning, better do it before it’s check-out time!

All of the above is addressed to hitch-hikers. If, O reader, you happen to be a driver and not a hitch-hiker, please take the following advice.

Single and coupled, in bright overalls and in plain clothes, sporting big backpacks, standing along the road waving their hands – these people are hitch-hikers. Most of them are completely safe and harmless fellows. If you have some unused space in your car, give them a lift. They won’t pay for your fuel but can help you kill time and learn more about roads, cities, and regions; some of them have travelled to very faraway places. Some have music records with them. They will keep you awake at night, watch out for hazards, and help avoid accidents. Some of them are from abroad and can have interesting opinions to share. In a word, most people who have hitch-hiked a lot are very interesting chat mates.

Some of them, though, can at first be too shy to share their valuable information about road conditions, passing cities, errors in your road atlas, and, sometimes, local places of interest. Make them talkative: ask how long they had to wait, and what their parents, friends, and the police think about what they’re doing.

Strangely, hitch-hikers rarely meet each other on the road. Some of them don’t know about hitch-hiking clubs or methods, or that you can get free lifts from trains, boats, etc. Tell them all you know yourself. Present them with a copy of this book.