Читать книгу New England Joke Lore: The Tonic of Yankee Humor - Arthur George Crandall - Страница 15

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In a certain thriving town a meat dealer had gradually acquired a wide acquaintance. As he was a genial man with a ready sense of humor, he was regarded with general favor by outlying farmers as well as by his local customers.

A man who had a farm back on the hills came to this dealer one day and contracted to deliver to him on a certain date an unusually fine specimen of dressed pork, guaranteed to be as near perfection as the most fastidious customer could require.

The appointed day arrived and likewise the farmer and the hog, which being placed upon the scales presented an attractive picture, at least from the standpoint of those who like pork. The dealer seemed well pleased.

“My wife said it was a shame for me to sell this hog,” said the farmer as the dealer started to adjust the scales, “she said she wanted that hog’s head for ‘sowse.’”

“Oh! she did,” said the dealer, “well, I will make her a present of it.”

The butcher immediately proceeded to decapitate the hog and wrapping the head up in coarse brown paper, handed it over to the delighted farmer who was overwhelmed at such unexpected generosity. The butcher then weighing the hog, figured a moment on a slip of paper and turning to the till counted out the amount coming for the meat at the agreed upon rate.

When the farmer handed the hog’s head to his much surprised spouse she inquired:

“How much did the hog weigh?”

“It didn’t seem to weigh up as much as I expected,” said the farmer. “I thought it would weigh twenty-five or thirty pounds more than it did.”

The woman looked at her husband suspiciously.

“Did the butcher weigh the hog before or after he cut off the head?”

“He weighed it afterwards.”

The comments of the wife when she found out the real significance of the “present” she had received, may be imagined. The value of the head would normally be about one third as much by the pound as the entire carcass.