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8

Lulu was as pretty as the hair she made. Her salon – Lulu Coiffure – was the most popular in the whole of Puttkamerstown. The words ‘A Woman’s Hair Is Her Crowning Glory’ were boldly inscribed on a beautiful signboard of a lovely variety of hairdos eloquently captured by the artist who designed it.

It was to Lulu that Britney sent Lilly Loveless when the latter decided she needed to revamp her looks by braiding her hair.

Lulu was as artful a braider as she was with other hairdos. She insisted in handling Lilly Loveless herself, while her three apprentices attended to other clients. Lilly Loveless took pleasure in knowing her curls would soon be transformed into lovely braids. She watched cars, motorbikes or bendskins, bicycles and people on foot headed to and from the market pass by in front of the open salon door. And she checked Lulu’s progress occasionally in the mirror.

“Is it to keep the humidity off your equipment?” she asked, indicating the metal box where Lulu kept her combs and scissors.

“Na for steriliz-am, whiteman-woman. Man no di know,” replied Lulu assuredly.

Lilly Loveless’s pidgin was not the best despite the intensive lessons she continued to take, but she understood what Lulu said, although she couldn’t figure out why Lulu kept calling her ‘whiteman-woman’, as if she didn’t know her name or felt that a white woman needs a man to be visible. She refused to make an issue of it, but made a mental note in the interest of her research. She noticed the electrical cord hanging from the box, in a dusty loop against the wall.

“A sterilizer that needs to be plugged in just a couple of times a year,” she said, half question, half trying to convince herself, nodding her head saying, “I see.”

“Wheti you see?”

Lilly Loveless ignored the question by asking her own. “What do women say is the reason why they come to do their hair?”

“Foseeka I be the best for Puttkamerstown.”

“I know you are the best. But what other reasons bring them here?”

“They fit congosai for here as they like, no one day I go open my mop tell some man.”

“I mean, why do women do their hair?”

“Dat you question foolish plenty. Why you di chop?”

After making Lilly Loveless look stupid, Lulu proceeded to tell her that although some silly men believe that women do their hair in order to be “like a web to trap every male heart”, the simple truth is that “a woman’s beauty lies in her hair”, and women are beautiful first and foremost for themselves and for fellow women. If a woman spends half of her time in front of a mirror or at the hairdresser’s to do her hair, no man but her deserves to take the credit for that. Lulu was adamant. Hair engineers like her are there to accentuate a woman’s beauty with magical results, make her feel good within herself and to other women, and if this flatters men in the process, it is most certainly by accident, and not cause for celebration. Their duty is and remains to make women feel confident and beautiful for their own pleasure and to take pride in their outward appearance. Until men start seeing with the eyes of their hearts and feeling with their minds, would they understand that the world is larger and richer than that which their manhood is able to erect? Doing hair, to women, is really more about being comfortable, not about being sexy. She then told Lilly Loveless why Mimbo women like long hair. She said long hair adds beauty. For Mimbo women who cannot have very long hair like that of Muzungu women, and who admire very long hair, the alternative is to turn to artificial hair to meet this desire. As a hairdresser, it is her duty to advise her clients that some ‘beautiful’ styles can only be possible with long or thick hair, and to encourage women with short or sparse hair to go for artificial hair, which helps in giving them the hair style they want.

“What causes short or scanty hair?” Lilly Loveless asked.

Lulu explained that sparsely populated hair could be genetic, but it could also result from constant application of chemical products damaging to the hair roots. Again, very cold weather causes hair breakage, and makes the hair fall off. These mishaps make women very uneasy with their hair.

Satisfied with what she saw in the mirror, Lilly Loveless extended a few Mim dollars to Lulu, thanked her, and stopped a taxi for the Archives where Britney was waiting for her. Seated in the back on the passenger side she felt her derriere absorbing something that smelt fishy. She glided to the other side behind the driver to avoid the moisture and figured that her brown print tunic over brown jeans wouldn’t reveal whatever stains she may have picked up. That was what you got when taxis, for a few more Mim dollars, were indiscriminate between butchers transporting freshly slaughtered beef and normal passengers. She dismissed the thought that the wetness might just have come from a woman surprised by her period. She arrived at the Archives just after 11.00 am.

“Lovely Lilly,” exclaimed Prince Anointed when he saw her, “What lovely long braids you’ve got there! You look like an African princess.” He laughed his last laugh with his missing front teeth, as he had an appointment with a dentist shortly after, the first in 30 years, thanks to the generous gift of Mim$200,000 by Lilly Loveless.

Lilly Loveless could see Prince Anointed had an observant eye. She felt good with his compliment.

Overhearing the animated discussions, Britney closed her notebook and headed for the entrance to the Archives. She had promised to take Lilly Loveless to a nearby bar where they could work undisturbed for an hour or two and get some grilled chicken for lunch.

Britney returned the documents she was consulting to Prince Anointed, asking him to keep them for her until the following Saturday while Lilly Loveless walked off with the documents he had gathered for her, promising to return them after she had photocopied pertinent pages.

The bar was actually in the courtyard of a two storey building where several families seemed to live side by side businesses. You wouldn’t even notice it walking by on the street, but as soon as you entered, to access the courtyard in the back, you had to pass through a passageway lined with crates of empty bottles. It wasn’t yet lunchtime and the twenty or so tables were empty, except for two early morning drinkers at separate tables who looked as if they’d spent the night refusing to let go of the muse in the bottle.

Britney and Lilly Loveless settled in a shady spot against one wall and ordered their usual drinks. Britney, as always, was anxious to begin.

***

“As I said before, some of these matters are discreet,” she commenced, “and others less so or only for a while. Kenneth and Judith were seeing each other around, but they finally met one evening when they were both at the same nightclub and Kenneth was really determined to start something. He was still a stranger to Judith, although she knew she had seen him around. He talked to her. She was very reluctant, because nothing about him at first impression and first sight clicked. He pleaded for a rendezvous, which was rejected. Eventually she walked off.”

“So, what did he do next?” queried Lilly Loveless.

“Well, isn’t there always the desire to hope? Kenneth went further to make a gesture. He went back to his car and in an envelope he put in new banknotes of fifty thousand Mim dollars with his complimentary card which said he was a customs inspector. Judith received her envelope and simply smiled, ‘What does he think?’

“Days passed and passed. Kenneth waited and waited. One fortunate day, if I might say so, since it was unfortunate for his wife, Judith called Kenneth at his office. What pleasure! And that was the beginning of what no one could understand. Not even them. Immediately Kenneth left to join Judith who was resident in another town. This turned out to be a daily routine for him.”

“You said Kenneth was married, right?” asked Lilly Loveless as she flicked a fly from her Mimbo-Wanda.

“Yes, but we must grant him this: Kenneth never stopped being a ‘responsible’ father. He did every necessary thing as a husband and father, as money was not his problem, given that he received bribe left and right. Yet he never failed to see his loving mistress. They spent time together having lunch and visiting nightclubs. The money was there and he constantly dished it out. How sweet and nice of him.”

“Or rather, of those who gave him bribes, to be more exact,” Lilly Loveless interjected.

“Gradually it became more serious,” said Britney, ignoring her. “They both started spending nights together. Thus Kenneth was not home from time to time. Why not for a few days? How dare Mrs Kenneth question. Finally, Mrs Kenneth came to understand. But what could she do? She simply watched, unable to do much. She did complain to elders, but he did everything possible to stop her from giving certain hints to particular people. It got to a situation where he was constantly out of town. Just to meet Judith. To be fair to Kenneth though, this affair never brought an end to pleasant times and trips he and his wife had shared before he met Judith. So he did manage both women pretty well, to a point. But how can a wife forgive or forget that what should normally be wholly hers is being poached by another woman?”

“You tell me,” said Lilly Loveless.

“The affair got to an extent where his wife ignored all what was happening.”

“Amazing woman,” remarked Lilly Loveless.

“On one occasion after all his wife’s spies informed her of recent developments, she simply ordered him to withdraw his new purchases from his girlfriend’s apartment. He actually went and collected and presented them to his wife. Notwithstanding, the affair continued. Judith seemed satisfied with being the ‘Madame Numero Deux’ whenever Kenneth’s wife was not around.

“As things go, Judith had a boyfriend as well, a fellow student, – flying-shirt, as you know we call them.”

“No pockets, no wallet?”

“You’re learning, Lilly,” Britney smiled like a good teacher. “The boy came to visit her from time to time. The truth is, he knew of Kenneth and his filthy riches, but never knew it was that serious. Judith was panicky since she did not know how to handle the situation. There was no way she could get off if she slipped away for two weeks with her flying-shirt. Kenneth could go around from town to town and it was sure he would find her and beat her. That beating again – seems the only language men instinctively know. She did not know how to tell her flying-shirt she had to be off for two weeks. This would have meant death. On many occasions the flying-shirt had gone to friends’ places and said ‘I am looking for Kenneth, Judith’s boyfriend.’ On several occasions he had questioned her:

‘Do you think you can spend your life with him?’

‘No.’

‘Why continue to be involved?’

‘I’m afraid I cannot call it off. He could kill me.’

‘Your studies are suffering. Have you realised that?’

‘I will change and get serious.’

“She later on tells her friend that her student boyfriend will be going but she has no idea of how to do it:

‘Do you think the other one is the one you really need?’

‘Yes, we will grow together.’

‘Then take a firm stand and do it.’

“This was easier said than done. With Kenneth around, she did succeed in taking leave of her flying-shirt. She did it so well that Kenneth could not believe his disappearance. But things eventually rang a bell, which made him start drifting. He stopped his search. From then on words, messages, phone calls came to a halt.

“Just when she feels her life has changed and is more stable, Kenneth begins to solidify his marriage. Soon, it is Mrs Kenneth who matters. One of those cases where the guy lights the fire and when she finally desires to hope for more, he moves on.”

“What do you think could have happened to turn the tables on Judith in this way?”

“Perhaps Mrs Kenneth visited a marabout who gave her a charm to reconquer her man.”

“Do those charms work?” Lilly Loveless was incredulous.

“You ignore them at your peril,” said Britney. “If you don’t go for them as a married woman, those chasing after your husband will, and his love for you will evaporate before your very eyes.”

Lilly Loveless didn’t know what to make of these affirmations by Britney, but decided not to pursue the matter.

The waitress brought another round of drinks thinking that it was the first time she’d seen gossips like them taking notes. Then again, you can never tell about those people from Muzunguland and their bizarre interests.

***

“Another affair began,” continued Britney, as she checked the time on the cell phone grasped tightly in her hand, “after Mr Richard rendered a service to Mrs Gilbert, when they met by chance at the hospital where they were both visiting patients. At first, they were simply friends of the ‘hi’ and ‘hello’ type:

‘How are you doing today?’

‘I am OK but having a tiring day.’

‘What of the patient?’

‘He has improved a great deal. Thanks for the concern.’

“They did visit each other. It grew to extend to family visits, gradually integrating both families, sort of.”

“Then…?” Lilly Loveless was too eager.

“With the blink of an eye, it turned to something else. Phone calls, which were directed either to his office or to his private personal cell phone. Sometimes they had private dates. No one knew of this as of yet. But there are always astute and very observant experts with extra alert eyes who can discern the most hidden of affairs just by taking one look at you. Mrs Gilbert was still to digest this and come out with the truth. They were both civil servants. Mr Richard made it a duty to report to Mrs Gilbert’s residence after a tedious day. He sometimes frequented the house three times or more a day, and soon, it became the talk among close friends and neighbours who began jazzing about his frequent visits to her house. Most of them were not impressed with the attitude. They did their very best to advise both parties.”

“And how did they react?”

“The more people talked the more the couple appeared not to care. They intensified their bond instead. Not afraid of any confrontation they carried on their daily activities as if no other person had a say. They eventually launched a common economic initiative together. This involved breeding birds and selling them. They made contacts with enterprises of which they became suppliers. And they appeared to live a good life despite the prying and critical eye of the public.”

“That was courageous of them,” remarked Lilly Loveless.

“Yes, but where there is merriment, problems do arise. Once in a while, they got problems which made them vibrate. Mrs Gilbert would get so upset and send him off. ‘Take the door, I say. Leave my house before I hurt you.’ After a few days there is room for reconciliation. You never know what takes place. You only notice Mr Richard’s absence and likewise his reappearance. Their life continues normally, as normal as can be in such a situation. He visits when due or on demand.”

“In and out he goes,” volunteered Lilly Loveless slyly.

“You’re right. But at home,” continued Britney, “I have no idea of what happens. No one informs me of that. Mr Richard’s brothers still visit her home. Of late I was told it has become a family affair. In Mr Richard’s home village, his mother encourages him as she welcomes and entertains them. She is impressed about this new acquaintance. It has become a duty of always giving them treats. She is less concerned about Mr Richard’s wife at home.”

“Is she not the right type?”

“I was not told. Whenever Mr Richard is invited for lunch, Mrs Gilbert enters the kitchen to produce a delicious and delicate meal. ‘How lovely,’ he would say, eating to his fill. ‘I am overfed.’ He would spend sometime before taking off. At times he would be rushing off to work or home, hopefully, because, despite everything, his wife is his wife. He also has his own children who are contented with his presence.”

“What do you mean?”

“It was Mr Richard’s duty to see that everything was under control in cases of Mrs Gilbert’s absence from her home. He did make his rounds each day purposely to make sure all was OK, and to be able to report back when asked. Likewise, he did even have instructions for the children. This idea the kids greatly resented. But they could not do otherwise. He had total control until her return, when he would let her run her home. And at his own home, never have I heard of his wife over reacting. All she does is only to do her job, care for her children and look after her husband whenever he comes home. But she has discontinued her friendship with Mrs Gilbert.”

“Well,” Lilly Loveless looked up and waved away the flies around her drink, “with a friend like that, who needs an enemy?” They both laughed. Britney readjusted herself on her chair and continued unfolding the affair between Mr Richard and Mrs Gilbert.

“Unfortunately, the distance between towns did not strain the relationship, thanks to modern technologies of telephones and cars. Within hours everything is normal. They made sacrifices to pay each other visits. It was clear in everyone’s mind that when Mr Richard goes out of town he heads for Nyamandem to visit Mrs Gilbert. At a certain point in time, Mrs Gilbert’s parents questioned what she was up to. And her father asked: ‘Why don’t you marry him?’ She just did not think of that. Anyway he kept insisting that they marry instead of maintaining an affair for so long.”

“I don’t think marriage is necessarily a solution,” said Lilly Loveless. “For all you know, both could have been running away from the reality of marriage.”

“We are not speculating, are we?” replied Britney. “I’m just telling you things as they are, what I gathered from the interviews.”

“I’m sorry,” Lilly Loveless apologised. “You are right. Science is not speculation, and I should know better, but what I meant was perhaps next time you should push further, to ask why, why, why all the time.”

“And why not, I suppose,” Britney agreed.

Lilly Loveless nodded. “And why is Mr Gilbert not in the picture, if I may ask?”

“I thought I said he was imprisoned for 40 years for embezzlement, didn’t I?”

“No you didn’t.”

“I’m sorry. He used to be deputy head of a big state corporation, and stole too much for the government not to notice.”

“I see,” said Lilly Loveless. “And he obviously didn’t invest much in his own family for Mrs Gilbert to survive on in his absence?” Lilly Loveless sounded sceptical.

“Everything he owned was seized when he was indicted, all his businesses and property. Only the house in which Mrs Gilbert and the children lived was spared, because it was the one thing he graciously registered in her name.”

“How sad!”

Britney continued: “Mr Richard plays an important part in her life. He is always there to give a helping hand. Even in times of pain he is there for comfort.”

“And Mrs Richard, taking it all in her stride?”

“By the time Mrs Richard began to take action, every hope was blocked. Her marriage was at stake. She was fighting for her stability. She had lost her usual self. However, she has recovered considerably. Today, she is good looking, earns a salary, owns a house and car and takes care of everything. She is a success no matter the mess. How I admire her self sufficiency. She is graceful, even though Mrs Gilbert’s relationship with her husband still continues, and has done so for 11 years. Once in a while she comes closest to taking her own life, but always succeeds in turning back some how. She is a woman to admire, I believe.”

Lilly Loveless was surprised to see Britney wiping a tear from her eye with the back of her hand when she looked up from her notebook.

“A quick last story,” said Britney.

Lilly nodded and added: “If you want.”

***

“I know of a couple who have been married for 20 years, but whose sex life has ground to a halt because the wife can no longer stand to have sex with him. The husband used to present himself as the epitome of moral integrity, making out as if adultery was an abomination, only for her to find out that he had been deceiving her all along. He had, without her knowing, developed and sustained for years an extended appetite for coming with other women.

Married But Available

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