The Genial Idiot: His Views and Reviews

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Bangs John Kendrick. The Genial Idiot: His Views and Reviews

I. HE DISCUSSES MAXIMS AND PROVERBS

II. HE DISCUSSES THE IDEAL HUSBAND

III. THE IDIOT’S VALENTINE

IV. HE DISCUSSES FINANCE

V. HE SUGGESTS A COMIC OPERA

VI. HE DISCUSSES FAME

VII. ON THE DECADENCE OF APRIL-FOOL’S-DAY

VIII. SPRING AND ITS POETRY

IX. ON FLAT-HUNTING

X. THE HOUSEMAID’S UNION

XI. THE GENTLE ART OF BOOSTING

XII. HE MAKES A SUGGESTION TO THE POET

XIII. HE DISCUSSES THE MUSIC CURE

XIV. HE DEFENDS CAMPAIGN METHODS

XV. ON SHORT COURSES AT COLLEGE

XVI. THE HORSE SHOW

XVII. SUGGESTION TO CHRISTMAS SHOPPERS

XVIII. FOR A HAPPY CHRISTMAS

Отрывок из книги

”WELL, I see the Ideal Husband has broken out again,” said the Idiot, after reading a short essay on that interesting but rare individual by Gladys Waterbury Shrivelton of the Woman’s Page of the Squehawkett Gazoo. “I’d hoped they had him locked up for good, he’s been so little in evidence of late years.”

“Why should you wish so estimable an individual to be locked up?” demanded Mr. Pedagog, who, somehow or other, seemed to take the Idiot’s suggestion as personal.

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“No, I am not wrong, for he is indeed the very essence of her ideal because he doesn’t make her stand him,” said the Idiot. “He never bothers Mrs. Van Varick at all. On the first of every month he sends her a check for a good round sum with which she can pay her bills. He presents her with a town house and a country house, and a Limousine car, and all the furs she can possibly want; provides her with an opera-box, and never fails, when he himself goes to the opera, to call upon her and pay his respects like a gentleman. If she sustains heavy losses at bridge, he makes them good, and when she gives a dinner to her set, or to some distinguished social lion from other zoos, Van Varick is always on hand to do the honors of his house, and what is supposed to be his table. He and Mrs. Van Varick are on the most excellent terms; in fact, he treats her with more respect than he does any other woman he knows, never even suggesting the idea of a flirtation with her. In other words, he does not interfere with her in any way, which is the only kind of man in the world she could be happy with.”

“It’s perfectly awful!” cried Mrs. Pedagog. “If they never see each other, what on earth did they ever get married for?”

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