Читать книгу Return to Paradise - Barbara Cameron - Страница 8
ОглавлениеChapter 1
1
You’re sighing again.”
Lavina looked up from the baby quilt she was sewing and stared at Mary Elizabeth, her schweschder. “What?”
“You’re sighing.”
“I am not.”
“You are,” Rose Anna, her youngest schweschder, said quietly. “Ever since we sat down to sew.” Her blue eyes were kind. “What are you thinking about?”
“Who,” said Mary Elizabeth. “A better question is who is she thinking about?”
“I’m not thinking about anyone.”
Both her schweschders frowned at her. Lavina was twenty-three, the oldest of the three, but the way they looked at her she felt as if she were a kind. The three of them were barely a year apart and looked so alike with their blonde hair, blue eyes, and petite figures they could have passed for triplets.
“Maybe I’m just tired.” Lavina set the quilt aside, got up and walked over to look out the window. Leaves the color of gold, red, and orange danced in the wind, heralding autumn. It used to be her favorite season. The long, hot summer and all the work of harvest, canning, and preserving was over.
But weddings were taking place now. This time last year she’d thought she and David were getting married . . .
“She’s doing it again,” she heard Rose Anna whisper behind her.
“Tea,” Lavina said, and she turned and gave them a bright smile. “Anyone want a cup of tea?”
“Schur.”
She walked into the kitchen, filled the teakettle, and put it on the stove. Her glance went to the calendar on the wall. She looked away at how many weddings were noted for the month.
This time last year she’d been planning on marrying David Stoltzfus and making a home for them.
Sinking into a chair at the table, she cupped her chin in her hands and waited for the water to come to a boil.
“Lavina?”
She looked up. “Hmm?”
“I’ve always found that if you want the water to boil you have to turn the gas on under the kettle.” Mary Elizabeth demonstrated by turning the dial. Her mouth quirked in a smile.
“Oh, ya. Silly me.”
Mary Elizabeth pulled out the chair next to Lavina and sat. “I’m worried about you.”
“I’m fine. I was just thinking about something and forgot to turn it on.”
“You’re sad.”
Lavina did her best not to sigh. “Ya. I’m sad. I’ll get over it.”
She racked her brain for something to talk about, a way to change the subject. Mary Elizabeth wasn’t shy about pressing an issue when she wanted to.
“I think I’ll have a cookie. Want one? Mamm made some chocolate chip.”
“Schur. But— ”
“Are you going into town with me to Leah’s tomorrow?”
“Maybe next time. Mamm and I are going over to Waneta’s house. Listen—”
“Leah’s going to be happy I’m bringing her orders in a little early.”
“I know.”
“I think she’s going to be really happy with that Sunshine and Shadow quilt you made.”
Mary Elizabeth shrugged. “I like that pattern. And the tourists like the old traditional Amish patterns.”
“Well, you did a great job on it.”
“If I have time I want to do a Broken Star pattern before Christmas.”
Lavina brought the cookie jar to the table and tried to hide her smile. Finally she’d distracted her schweschder from worrying about her.
They talked about quilt patterns for a few minutes and then the teakettle shrieked.
Mary Elizabeth got up to turn the gas off. She filled two cups and sat again.
“I should get tea for Rose Anna.”
“She can come get it if she wants.” Mary Elizabeth handed her a tea bag and then chose one for herself from the bowl on the table.
Lavina listlessly dunked the tea bag over and over in the cup until Mary Elizabeth took it from her and set it the saucer. “Go ahead,” Lavina said. “Tell me I have to get over him.”
“I’m not going to tell you that.”
Lavina looked up. “You’re not?”
“Nee. You love David and time apart isn’t making you forget about him.”
“He made his decision. And he didn’t ask me to leave Paradise with him.”
“Did you ask him?”
Shocked, Lavina stared at her schwesder. “You know I didn’t! I couldn’t!”
“You could have. You chose not to.”
“I couldn’t.”
A windstorm of emotions swirled up inside her. Lavina rose, paced the kitchen. “I couldn’t make that choice. You know I’d have been shunned. I joined the church. But David hadn’t.”
“I wonder—” Mary Elizabeth stopped, then took a deep breath. “Lavina, would you have been as miserable as you’ve been since David left? You’d have been with him.”
“Well, that’s blunt.”
“Ya, you know I say what I think.”
“There’s just one thing you’re forgetting. David didn’t ask me to marry him. He didn’t ask me to go with him.”
“I know.” Mary Elizabeth fell silent for a long moment. “I do understand what you’re feeling. Only a few months after David left his bruder Samuel went with him and took part of my heart.”
Lavina reached out her and touched Mary Elizabeth’s. “I know.”
Rose Anna wandered into the room. “I thought you were going to fix tea. You’re having it without me.” She put her hands on her hips and pouted.
Mary Elizabeth stood and poured another cup of hot water. “It’s my fault. I was talking to her. We weren’t trying to make you feel left out.”
Rose Anna sniffed but took a seat to the right of Lavina. “What were you talking about?”
Lavina started to say it was nothing, but knowing how Rose Anna, the youngest, was acting, she figured it would just make her feel even more left out.
“Mary Elizabeth feels I should have gone with David when he left the community.”
Rose Anna’s face took on a dreamy expression. “That would have been so romantic.”
“He didn’t ask her to go with him,” Mary Elizabeth said. “Remember?”
Lavina’s heart sank. She felt sandwiched in by Blunt Schweschder on one side and Hopeless Romantic Schweschder on the other.
Could the three of them be any more different?
“It was bad enough he left,” Rose Anna complained. “But he didn’t have to take his bruders with him. I really cared about John . . .” Tears filled her eyes.
“We have to stop talking about this,” Mary Elizabeth said. “We’re just going to depress ourselves.”
“I agree,” Lavina said. And heard herself sigh. “I kept hoping he’d change his mind.” She shook her head and stood. “I’m going for a walk.”
“Take your jacket,” Mary Elizabeth said. “It’s getting a little chilly.”
“Yes, Mamm,” she said, making a face at her. But she took the jacket. And then, after only a moment’s hesitation, she put some of the oatmeal raisin cookies they’d baked earlier into a plastic baggie and took them with her. Mary Elizabeth gave her a knowing look. She knew where Lavina was headed.
David’s home—his former home—was just a half-mile from hers so it was no wonder they’d been close as kinner. They’d walked to schul together, played together, gone to youth activities at church together. As the years had passed they’d become such good friends. More than friends. She had thought they were going to get married and then, after repeated arguments with their bishop, he’d suddenly moved away.
She frowned as she neared the Stoltzfus home and saw Waneta, David’s mamm, sitting on the front porch looking miserable.
“Waneta? Are you allrecht?”
“Lavina, gut-n-owed.” She tried to smile. “I’m fine. Just getting some air.”
“Chilly air.” Lavina climbed the steps and took a seat in the rocking chair next to her. “I thought I’d take a walk and bring you some cookies we baked earlier.”
“Such a sweet maedel. Danki.”
Lavina took one of the woman’s hands in hers and found it was cold. She chafed it. “Why don’t we go inside and have some with a cup of tea?”
Suddenly there was the sound of breaking glass inside the house. Waneta jumped and glanced back fearfully.
“What is it? What’s wrong?”
“Just my mann being careless,” Waneta said. “You know men, so clumsy.”
The front door opened, and he stuck his head out. “Where’s my supper?” he demanded. Then he saw Lavina. “You come around to ask about David? Well don’t! I don’t have a sohn!” The door slammed.
Waneta jumped. “He doesn’t mean it.” But tears welled up in her eyes. “He’s not well.”
“Not well?” David had told her once that his dat sometimes drank . . .
Tears rolled down Waneta’s cheeks. “The doctor told us today that he has the cancer.” She pulled a tissue from her pocket and dabbed at her eyes. Then she looked at Lavina, seemed to struggle with herself. “Lavina, do you ever hear from David?”
She shook her head. “You know I would come tell you. We’ve talked about this. If either of us heard from him, we’d tell the other. It wouldn’t matter if we’re supposed to shun him. We’d tell each other.”
“He needs to come home,” Waneta said, sobbing now. “He and Samuel and John. They need to come home or they may never see their dat again.”
***
David sat in his new-to-him pickup truck in the driveway of his Englisch friend Bill’s house.
It had taken him a year to save up enough for the five-year-old pickup truck, but he’d firmly resisted the temptation to get a flashy new truck because it meant buying on credit. He wasn’t dead set against credit. Sometimes a person had to use it. Land was expensive in Lancaster County. Unless you inherited it you often had to arrange for a bank loan.
The memory of the farm he’d grown up on flashed into his mind. He firmly pushed it away. He didn’t miss all the arguments with his dat and with the bishop.
David missed Lavina, but there was no point in thinking about her. He couldn’t have her so he had to keep pushing her out of his mind. After being away from her for a whole year now, he was down to only having to do that a couple of times a day.
He wondered what she would think of the truck. One of their favorite things had always been to go for a buggy ride.
“Ready for your first ride?” Bill asked as he got into passenger seat.
“Yeah.”
“Where are we headed?”
David shrugged. “I don’t know. Where shall we go?”
“Let’s just do some country roads, get you used to the truck.”
“And not scare you in Paradise traffic?”
“You didn’t scare me when I was teaching you to drive.”
“Right.”
Bill chuckled. “Well, not much, anyway. Now, teaching my younger brother, that was scary. Kid has such a lead foot.”
David went through the steps Bill had taught him to do prior to turning on the ignition. Fasten seat belt. Check. Position rearview mirrors. Check. Check gas gauge. Check. Release parking brake. Check. Turn on ignition. Check. Put car in gear. Check. Look for traffic.
“You forgot a step.”
David stopped the truck before he left the driveway and turned to his friend. “What?”
“You forgot to check out your appearance, dude.” Bill pulled the visor down and checked his hair, smoothing it with one hand, then checked out his smile before he turned the visor back. “C’mon, don’t be shy. You want to look good for the ladies when you cruise.”
With a laugh, David pulled down his visor and checked out his appearance. After months, he was still not used to seeing himself with an Englisch haircut. He hadn’t recognized himself in the glass store window he’d passed the day after the haircut. He’d had to take a second look, see that it was him, see the dark blue eyes and square jaw, the brown, almost black hair.
“And don’t forget the shades,” Bill said, passing him the pair he’d urged David to buy. “They’re not just to look cool. You have to be careful about glare when you’re driving.”
“So much to remember. It was easier to just hitch up a horse.”
“But wait ’til you get this baby out on the road and feel the horsepower under the hood,” Bill said, stretching out his long legs. He tilted his own sunglasses down and looked at David over the top of them. “Not that I’m urging you to speed.”
“Not going to do that,” David said firmly. “Speeding tickets are a waste of good money.”
“Wise man. Too bad I didn’t think that way when I first started driving. ’Course, it’s part of growing up, I guess. In my culture, I mean.”
“Guys in their rumschpringe race their buggies,” David said as he checked for traffic and eased out of the driveway. “You’d be surprised the speed some of them can get out of them. Sometimes the Amish buy horses that have been retired from racing.”
They rode for a while in silence.
“How’s the truck feel?”
“Gut—good,” he corrected himself. “It will help me with work. Sometimes the boss needs something delivered and he doesn’t have enough trucks.”
“When you have a pickup people will be asking you to help them with all sorts of things,” Bill told him. “I can’t tell you how many people have asked me to help them move.”
“I like to help people.”
“I know. You’re a good guy.”
David didn’t feel like a good guy. What would Bill think if he knew why he’d left his Amish community? If he knew he’d walked away from a woman he’d promised to marry? He wouldn’t think he was so good then.
But Bill, thankfully, had offered friendship without prying. It was Bill who was good, helping him find a job, a place to rent and now a vehicle when he needed one. He’d invited David to his church but David wasn’t ready for that yet. Maybe someday.
“You doin’ okay?” Bill asked him.
David gave him a quick glance. “Yeah. Why?”
“You just seemed a little down when I got in the truck and you don’t act like you’re enjoying it. Are you sorry you didn’t buy a new one?”
“No. I don’t want something I can’t afford. And this’ll do fine for work.”
“You’re being smart. Let me tell you, I wish I hadn’t gotten into so much debt buying my first truck.” Bill tapped his fingers on his knee.
David found himself driving down roads he’d only driven in a buggy. Now he was in an Englisch vehicle and needed to slow down and be careful of the Amish buggies. He passed the buggies of two former friends, but they didn’t recognize him in his truck and he didn’t wave. No point in getting his feelings hurt if they didn’t return his wave.
“Hey, you okay?”
He glanced at Bill. “Yeah, why?”
“How’s it feel to be near the old neighborhood?”
“Fine.”
But it wasn’t. He hadn’t been anywhere near his former Amish community since he’d left. Not having transportation had kept him in town and kept him from the temptation of trying to see Lavina . . .
“Hungry?” Bill broke into his thoughts. “There’s a great place for burgers about a mile ahead.”
It was a little early for lunch but that was fine. He nodded. “Sure.”
Lunch might be a great way to thank Bill for helping him buy the truck. The restaurant was closer to where he used to live than he liked, but there probably wouldn’t be anyone he knew having lunch in the middle of a workday. He parked and started to get out of the truck when a beep sounded. Startled, he looked back and found Bill grinning.
“Gotta take the keys if you want to find the truck here when you come back.” Bill shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans as he watched David retrieve the keys from the ignition and lock the truck. “What happens when someone tries to steal your horse and buggy?”
“No one does.”
“Hmm.”
They went inside and found a booth. David realized that Bill was watching him over the top of his menu. “What?”
“You sure you’re okay here?”
What a friend. “I’m fine. You don’t have to worry that someone’s going to come yell at me for leaving the community.”
“We haven’t talked much about why you left,” Bill said as he set his menu down. “Any time you want to I’m here for you.”
“Thanks.” He turned, ready to give his order to the server and saw a woman in Amish dress entering the restaurant.
For months after he’d left the Amish community he’d thought he’d seen her so many times. But it always turned out to be another woman.
Just like all those other times, the woman turned and he saw it wasn’t Lavina but another Amish woman.
“David? You gonna order?”
He blinked. “Oh, sorry. I’ll have the double cheeseburger and fries. Well done on the burger.”
They ate their lunch, and David didn’t look toward the door again.
***
“Beautiful work,” Leah said as she stroked the quilt. “Just like always.”
Lavina smiled. “Danki. I hope your customer who ordered it is happy with it.”
“I’m sure she will be.” Leah folded the quilt, put it in one of the Stitches in Time bags and set it under the counter. She went through the rest of the quilts Lavina and her sisters had sewn and approved all of them. “Let me write you a check.”
The bell over the shop window rang. Several women walked in. Leah glanced around. All of her granddaughters were busy helping customers. “Excuse me for just a moment, Lavina.”
“You don’t have to worry about the check right now,” Lavina said quickly.
“I’ll be just a moment,” Leah assured her. “Why don’t you take a look at the new fabric we just got in?”
New fabric. Lavina couldn’t resist. She had several bolts in her arms when Leah found her a few minutes later.
“I see you found the new fabric,” Leah said with a smile. “Let me help you with those.” She took several of the bolts and carried them to the cutting table. “How are you doing, Lavina?”
“Gut. Danki.” Lavina set her bolts down and stroked the material on one of them, avoiding Leah’s gaze. When Leah didn’t say anything, Lavina looked up.
Leah’s faded blue eyes were kind. “Really, kind?”
“You know it’s not easy to miss someone. Your first husband died.”
“David isn’t dead,” she reminded Lavina.
“He has to be to me. He’s gone, Leah. He’s been gone a year. He’s not coming back.”
Leah sighed. “I don’t know what to say. But I know this: God has a plan for each of us, timing that doesn’t always please us, but he always knows what He’s doing.”
“I know.”
“Do you, kind? Can you find the faith to believe it?”
“I’ve tried.”
“Remember, ‘we live by faith, not by sight.’”
“I know.” Lavina sighed.
Leah unrolled a bolt of fabric. “So, how many yards?”
“Four of each.”
Working competently, Leah cut the fabric, folded it and pinned a slip of paper with the amount to charge on each. She walked to the counter, and Lavina followed her. “Oh, I almost forgot your check.” She pulled a checkbook from the drawer, made out the check, and handed it to Lavina.
“Waneta was in yesterday,” she said as she tucked the fabric into a shopping bag. “She’s worried about her mann. Maybe David will come back to help take care of him.”
“I don’t think he will. They didn’t get along, remember?”
Leah handed her the shopping bag. “Maybe someone should let David know about his father.”
“I don’t know anyone who knows where he moved.”
“There must be a way.” Leah reached inside the cash register for a list. “Can you and your schwesders handle a few more orders before Christmas?”
“Schur. We appreciate the work, you know that.”
Leah patted her hand. “I appreciate what you do for us. We can’t possibly handle all the demand for quilts with just Naomi sewing them.”
Lavina tucked the check in her purse and picked up her shopping bag. “Have a gut day!”
“You, too,” Leah said. “And think about what I said.”
She waved at Naomi as she left the shop. The temperature had gotten a little bit cooler, but the sun felt warm on her shoulders as she stepped outside. She stopped to look in the display window—she hadn’t taken the time when she was carrying in the boxes of quilts to deliver—and smiled when she saw that one of her quilts was displayed next to Naomi’s. Little leaves cut from fabric scattered on the floor of the window announced the season. Anna’s hand-knit baby caps covered the heads of little dolls seated on one of Mary Katherine’s beautiful woven throws. Leah’s little cloth Amish dolls rode in a hand-carved buggy carved by Ben and Mark, twin cousins of the three Stoltzfus bruders.
The wind picked up, swirling her skirt. She hurried to her buggy parked behind the shop and began the ride home. She felt tired from the last-minute rush the past week, finishing the quilt order, but happy with the check tucked in her purse. And how nice to have new fabric to work with. A quilter always loved having a big stash of fabric waiting to be worked into a quilt. Her dat pretended to complain about how much fabric the women in his house accumulated but he’d converted the den in the house into their sewing room and lined the walls with shelves for fabric and supplies.
Her stomach growled. She’d left in a hurry that morning, taking time for only a cup of coffee. Up ahead was a restaurant/bakery that was a favorite of locals. She glanced at her purse and debated treating herself to a sandwich and taking home some baked goodies for her schweschders. The three of them deserved something special after their long hours.
She parked, entered the restaurant, and inhaled the delicious aromas. The door opened behind her as she stood waiting to be shown to a table.
“Lavina! I’ve been hoping to talk to you!”
She turned and found herself staring at Officer Kate Kraft. “Oh, did I do something wrong? Did I park in the handicapped spot or something?” The parking lot had been crowded and she’d been a little close to a pickup truck, but she thought she’d parked the buggy legally.
The other woman laughed. “Not at all. I’m looking for some fellow quilters to help me with a project. Are you having lunch? Maybe we could talk about it.”
“Sure.” Everyone liked Officer Kate. She had earned the respect of the Amish community by being deferential to their beliefs.
Here in Lancaster, the Amish and Englisch associated with each other more than they did in other areas. Lavina supposed that was because Lancaster Amish were involved in business and commerce more than farming because land had become so expensive. Tourism had changed Lancaster County, but so far both groups had made it work.
They settled into a booth, and the server handed them menus then left to get their drinks.
“No need for me to look at the menu,” Kate said without opening it. “I know it by heart. I try to pack a healthy lunch, but I don’t always have time before I leave the house in the morning.”
Lavina smiled. “It never changes. I want a cheeseburger and French fries. That’s not something we cook often at home.”
Her soft drink and Kate’s coffee came. They gave their orders and then Kate leaned forward. “So, I wanted to ask you if you’d be interested in helping teach quilting in a program we’ve started at a domestic abuse shelter in town. It’s based on a program a friend of mine started at a prison in Ohio.”
“She teaches quilting in a prison?”
Kate nodded enthusiastically, barely noticing when their server put her lunch down in front of her. “Quilting changes lives, Lavina. We teach the women life skills while we’re teaching how to put together a quilt. Some of the women have such low self-esteem. They’ve been involved in relationships with husbands, boyfriends, family that have made them feel like they can’t do anything. They learn how to sew, learn how to feel pride in accomplishment, learn life skills that help them get jobs and help support themselves—and their children if they have them.”
Kate paused to take a breath. “Sorry, I’m pretty passionate about what we’re doing.” She picked up her sandwich and began eating. “Leah has given us material and supplies. And I’ve gotten donations from the community. We teach the class from noon to 2 p.m. on Wednesdays. Do you think you’d be interested in stopping by this week to see if you’d like to volunteer?”
Lavina nodded. “I’ll come and see if it’s something I can help with.” She sipped her drink. “I have a question for you.”
“Sure.” Kate smiled and watched the server refill her coffee cup. “What’s your question?”
“If I wanted to find someone—someone who’s moved away from here—how would I go about it?”
“There are a lot of things you can do,” Kate said. “Do you know how to use a computer?”
“Not very well,” Lavina admitted. “I’ve done some work on the ones in the library, but I’m not the best.”
“Where do you think this person moved to?”
“He’s still in the county.”
“Hmm. It might not be that hard. Start with directory assistance first. You know, information on the phone. Here, let me give you some paper to write on.” She pulled out a slim notepad and began ripping out a few sheets.
Lavina lifted her soft drink and glanced idly at a man passing their table on the way to the cashier at the front of the restaurant. Was she seeing a ghost? Her eyes widened, and her fingers went numb on the glass. It slipped from her grasp and shattered on the tile floor. “David!”
The man stopped and stared at her. “Lavina!”
