Читать книгу The Emergency Specialist - Barbara Hart - Страница 7

IT HAD been a hard morning’s work at the Royal’s accident and emergency department. During a lull in dealing with patients, duty registrar Anna Craven told her colleagues that she was taking a short lunch-break.

‘If I don’t get something to eat in the next three minutes I’ll pass out on the floor,’ she said, walking in the direction of the staff canteen.

She grabbed a sandwich and a can of lemonade and went to sit by herself at a table in the far corner, away from the main seating area which always seemed to be crowded and noisy. She liked to spend the rare moments away from A and E in as tranquil an area as possible. Often, if the canteen was busier than usual, she’d take her sandwiches out to her car and sit there in solitude, the car radio tuned in to a classical station.

Friends and colleagues often remarked on how serene Anna always looked. With her smooth blonde hair, her pale green eyes and her delicate bone structure, she appeared to all the world to be the very embodiment of calmness. How deceptive appearances could be! The outer calm took a lot of working on and quite frequently hid inner turmoil underneath.

Anna had two sisters and both of them were just the opposite of her. They even looked different. Instead of straight blonde hair, Rebecca and Jennifer had naturally curly raven locks. And whereas Anna was diplomatic, her sisters were extremely outspoken to the point of rudeness, saying exactly what they thought without a care in the world that they might hurt anybody’s feelings.

‘I suppose you’re the way you are because you’re the middle child,’ Rebecca had said. ‘I’m the eldest and the bossy one. Jenny, being the youngest, is the spoiled brat…and you’re the poor child caught in the middle. Either that or you were potty-trained too early!’

Rebecca and Jennifer were both married…happily married, Anna presumed, although sometimes she did wonder, the way they constantly grumbled about their spouses and their children, each sister trying to outdo the other with awful stories. One thing was for sure— they were desperately keen that Anna should get married and then she’d be ‘just like us’. It seemed to annoy them immensely that while they were stuck at home with young families, their footloose and fancy-free sister was, they imagined, living the life of Riley as a single ‘career girl’.

‘I bet you’d soon lose your composure if you’d got three kids under four playing merry hell all day,’ suggested Rebecca, unable to comprehend how anyone could stay as calm and unflappable as Anna.

Anna’s outward composure confused others, particularly men. Deep inside her, she knew she was a passionate, fervent human being, capable of deep, heartfelt emotions. She also had a lively mind and a good sense of humour, appreciating wit more than slapstick. But she found it difficult, embarrassing even, to make a public display of her feelings.

Even now, when she was feeling utterly wretched because of Liam, she couldn’t bring herself to confide in anyone. Telling her colleagues was just asking to get talked about by the gossip-mongers, and sharing her misery with her sisters would only have served to increase the pain instead of halving it. No, the loss of Liam was something she’d have to cope with on her own, hiding it under a guise of tight-lipped tranquillity. Liam, who had taken her love and tossed it aside without even realising what he’d done. Liam, whom she’d fallen in love with and whom she’d thought had fallen in love with her. But that was the problem with being cool and serene on the outside…it often sent out the wrong message. It made people believe that you were hard and indifferent to personal pain.

‘No commitments,’ he’d said from time to time during their six months together, his eyes smiling at her, always smiling. ‘We’re having a great time, aren’t we?’ And he’d laughed charmingly. He was the most charming man she’d ever met. She realised with hindsight that his charm meant nothing. It was unintentional and came as naturally to him as breathing. Easy come, easy go. He had probably no idea, not even now, that he’d hurt her almost more than she’d been able to bear.

‘You mustn’t take me seriously,’ he’d warned her. But she had. She’d taken him very seriously. And when, only two weeks ago, Rebecca had said once again, ‘You really should get married, Anna,’ she’d almost told her that she was seeing Liam and that maybe marriage was on the cards.

She was so glad that she hadn’t told either of her sisters about Liam. Knowing Rebecca and Jennifer, they would have booked the church and the reception and arranged between themselves which of their various children should be bridesmaids and pageboys! She thanked her stars she hadn’t mentioned him to them because only a few days later Liam had confessed to her that he was seeing someone else. The news had come as a tremendous shock.

‘But we weren’t serious, were we? We had a good laugh, didn’t we?’ he’d said. At least he’d had the decency to look embarrassed at his bad behaviour. ‘We can still be friends, can’t we?’

It had been at that point she’d been grateful for her cool exterior. With her heart pounding like mad, her stomach churning so much that she’d felt sick, she’d still been able to give him a half-smile as she’d said, ‘No, Liam. I’m afraid we can’t.’

* * *

Anna finished her lunch and left the canteen. With her mind still on Liam and the pain he had so carelessly inflicted on her, she made her way back to A and E. She was preoccupied with thoughts of her broken romance when she became aware of the sound of quickening footsteps behind her. She stepped to one side, thinking that somebody might want to get past in a hurry. Then a man said, ‘Anneka?’ Looking round, she saw that the man, a medic she presumed from his theatre blues, was talking to her.

‘Are you speaking to me?’ she asked.

She found herself looking into the brown eyes of a man she’d never seen before, though that was hardly surprising in a hospital the size of the Royal. He was tall and dark-haired, and good-looking. Even under his theatre garb she could see that his shoulders were wide and powerful, his body lean and tapering. His skin was slightly bronzed as if he’d just returned from a holiday abroad. But underneath the tan he looked pale…a very strange illusion, thought Anna. She’d seen it before in patients who were in shock. All the colour drained from their faces, but a little of the tan remained.

The man stood stock still, staring at her. He said nothing, just stared at her. She felt herself shiver under his gaze.

‘Are you all right?’ she asked. ‘You look as if you’ve seen a ghost.’

‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘You just reminded me of someone else.’ He appeared embarrassed by his gaffe.

To smooth things over, she gave him a brief smile, saying, ‘My name’s Anna. I thought at first that you’d just got my name wrong. Is it someone called Anneka you’re looking for?’

The man half turned away, not rudely. ‘Sorry about that,’ he said, walking back down the corridor. ‘I’m supposed to be in Theatre. Sorry to have bothered you.’

Anna shrugged her shoulders and continued on her way.

* * *

The rest of the day was just as hectic as the morning had been.

A young boy who’d broken his arm in two places was X-rayed and his arm set in plaster. He was sent home with an ‘I Was Brave’ sticker on his shirt and a prescription for child analgesic. A pregnant woman with stomach pains and white with fear that she would lose her baby was examined, given tests and then admitted to a ward for observation. There were two drunks and a drug addict, a man with toothache and a middle-aged woman who’d injured herself during an epileptic fit. They were arriving in a steady trickle on foot, by car and by ambulance.

‘We’ve got a stabbing coming in now,’ said the sister in charge of the day team as she ran to the ambulance entrance.

A surgeon and an operating department assistant had been bleeped but they hadn’t yet arrived. Two radiographers, three nurses and Anna were waiting in one of the resuscitation wards.

When the patient arrived, his clothes covered in blood, he was raving and abusive but otherwise cooperative.

‘I’ll kill the bastards who did this,’ he shouted, his voice slurred with drink and pain. ‘I thought they were going to hit me with a bottle but they stabbed me instead. In the bloody back! The cowardly bastards!’

‘Roll him over,’ instructed Anna in order that the team could examine the injury. Above their heads the incident clock logged the seconds.

After an initial examination, the radiographers X-rayed him and a nurse monitored his blood pressure.

‘Here comes the surgery team,’ said the sister in charge. Anna looked round briefly and saw that the surgeon walking towards them and their blood-soaked patient was the man who’d come running after her in the corridor earlier that day, calling her ‘Anneka’.

‘Hello again,’ she said. ‘I’m Anna Craven, the duty registrar.’

‘Jack Harvey,’ he replied in acknowledgement, ‘the new casualty consultant.’ He smiled at her and nodded to the rest of the team.

Anna told him the patient’s history and said they were now waiting for the X-rays to come back. They arrived almost as she spoke and Anna and Jack studied them.

‘His chest cavity is filling with blood,’ said Jack. ‘His lungs will be getting squashed and he’ll have difficulty in breathing if we don’t drain it straight away.’

The team worked swiftly and efficiently, draining the patient’s chest and stemming the blood flow from the stab wound. It took them less than thirty minutes to stabilise his condition and get him out of immediate danger.

During the time they worked together, Anna noticed that Jack kept looking at her—not in a blatantly sexual way—but more out of curiosity. She couldn’t help noticing him either. He really was very good-looking. He reminded her in some ways of Liam— but whereas Liam had pale blue eyes, Jack’s were a warm brown.

When the surgeon and his operating assistant had left, taking the wounded patient with them, one of the nurses said to Anna, ‘He’s a bit of a dish, isn’t he?’

‘You mean our stab victim? A bit too heavy-jowled for me,’ said Anna, deliberately misunderstanding.

‘Not him! I mean Mr Handsome, the new casualty consultant.’

‘Handsome is as handsome does,’ replied Anna, smiling through gritted teeth, adding, ‘I’m right off good-looking men at the moment. In fact, I’m off all men, full stop.’

‘Yeah, me too,’ said the nurse. ‘They’re all pigs, aren’t they?’

* * *

At the end of her shift, Anna changed out of the theatre blues worn by all the doctors and nurses in A and E and into her own clothes.

She was walking to her car when, for the second time that day, she heard someone running towards her. And again it was Jack Harvey.

‘Anna!’ he said, calling to her from several metres away.

A prickle of irritation went through her. She wasn’t in the mood for talking, not to him or anyone. She just wanted to get home to the safe haven of her small apartment and continue the healing process on her own. The hurt inflicted by Liam was still very raw and it was going to take longer than a couple of weeks to heal. For that she needed to be by herself. Solitary confinement had a lot going for it, she decided. By the time Jack had reached her she’d taken out her car key and was fitting it in the lock, ready for a quick getaway.

‘Anna,’ he said again when he reached her. He was slightly breathless, having sprinted at top speed across the full length of the car park.

‘At least you’ve got my name right this time!’ she joked through clenched teeth.

He took a deep breath. ‘Will you come out for a drink with me?’ he asked, the words tumbling out all at once.

‘What? Now?’ She tried to keep the irritation from her voice.

He nodded.

The nerve of the man! The nerve of all handsome men! They just think they can snap their fingers and you’ll come running.

‘Sorry,’ she said, ‘got things to do.’

She opened the car door and slid into the driver’s seat.

‘Another night, then?’ he persisted, leaning into the car. ‘Perhaps we could have a meal?’ He looked so intense, so appealing and little-boy-lost that Anna almost weakened.

‘I’m afraid you’ll have to take no for an answer, Jack,’ she said pleasantly but firmly, her cool, serene looks emphasising that she really did mean no.

‘Look,’ he said, putting a gentle hand on her arm and fixing her with penetrating eyes, ‘you don’t understand. I’m in a bit of a state of shock right now. I’ve been in shock since I saw you coming out of the canteen earlier today. You see, you reminded me so much of someone else. That’s why I looked as if I’d seen a ghost.’

He was persistent all right, thought Anna. But although she wasn’t going to let him bamboozle her into a date, she was becoming a little curious about him.

‘You called me Anneka,’ she said. As she spoke the name she noticed that he flinched slightly as if she’d hit him. ‘Is that who I look like? Is she an ex-girlfriend or something?’

He stood stock still for a moment. ‘Anneka was my wife,’ he said quietly. ‘She died three years ago.’

Anna was now the one who felt as if she’d been struck.

‘Oh, I’m sorry.’ She kept her cool exterior but inside she was cringing because of the flippant way she’d been treating him, imagining that he was just trying to pick her up.

‘I’ve seen blonde women who looked a little like her,’ he said, ‘but until today I’ve never met anyone who could have been her double. It gave me a very nasty turn. I thought I was starting to hallucinate.’ He laughed a hollow laugh.

The haunting look of pain on his face won her over. ‘I’m sorry, Jack,’ she said. ‘I really can’t make it tonight, but I probably can tomorrow. Just for a quick drink.’

His face lost its tension and he smiled almost with relief.

‘Thanks,’ he said, before turning and walking away.

She drove home pensively. For the first time in two weeks her mind, outside working hours, was not on Liam and her broken heart. Jack’s loss had put her own pain in perspective. When Liam had left her it had felt almost like a bereavement. But, of course, she knew it wasn’t really like someone dying because that was so final, so sad. It had been three years, he’d said, since his wife’s death and still Jack had the mark of pain and suffering imprinted on his face. If seeing someone who looked like your dead wife had the power to make you react in such an obsessive and compelling manner after three years, how long was it going to take the poor man to finally get over his loss?

In some perverse way she found Jack’s situation faintly reassuring. Hopefully, she wasn’t going to be pining after Liam in three years’ time. Maybe solitary confinement wasn’t the complete answer for her. Perhaps going out with Jack could be another way of helping her in her own healing process?

* * *

The following evening, after they’d both finished their day shifts, they went out for a drink. Anna had come into work on the bus that morning, knowing that she would be given a lift home. Jack, although he’d only recently joined the Royal as the new casualty surgeon, was not a stranger to the area and he knew several pubs within a few miles of the hospital. He drove to one of the quieter inns, playing a classical music tape as they drove along.

‘That’s nice,’ she said conversationally. ‘It’s one of my favourites.’

He parked the car and turned off the engine.

‘I know all the drinking dives round here from my days as a medical student,’ he said as they got out of the car and walked towards the pub. ‘This one didn’t come high on our list. We used to head for the pubs with loud music, cheap beer and greasy food!’

Anna raised her eyebrows in alarm.

‘Don’t worry, this one’s just the opposite. No piped music, real ale and decent food,’ he reassured her.

‘But this is only for a drink?’ asked Anna, checking that he wasn’t trying to make it more of a date than she’d intended. She’d only agreed to go out with him because he’d mentioned that he’d lost his wife. For the foreseeable future she wasn’t planning on dating anyone…she was too bruised emotionally even to consider it.

‘Just a quick drink,’ he confirmed, adding with an amused grin, ‘I’m not going to press-gang you into a romantic candlelit dinner.’

He chose a secluded corner for them and then went to the bar to get their drinks. A few minutes later he returned with two glasses.

‘One white wine,’ he said, putting the glass of chilled Chardonnay on the small, marble-topped table alongside his pint.

‘Cheers!’ they said in unison.

Jack watched her like a hawk, his eyes never leaving her even as he took a long swig of his beer. She found his scrutiny unnerving.

‘So,’ she said lightly, ‘you’re no stranger to this area?’

‘No. But I don’t remember too much about it, if I’m being frank. After all, I was a student and I was working very long hours. But the area does have happy memories for me. That’s one reason I applied for this surgical post when I saw it advertised.’

This area used to have happy memories for me, too, brooded Anna, but at that moment she couldn’t think of a single one. The break-up with Liam seemed to have obliterated every happy memory she’d ever had.

‘So tell me about yourself,’ he asked. ‘Are you from round here?’

Anna had been dreading this from the moment she’d agreed to go out with him for a drink. She hated being cross-examined about her personal life at the best of times, and she hated it even more now—at the worst of times.

‘Oh, you don’t want to hear about me,’ she said, giving him a smile that she hoped came across as genuine. ‘Tell me more about yourself. I’m sure that’s much more interesting. Tell me about those happy memories.’

He didn’t answer immediately, fixing her with one of his penetrating looks. Then, slowly, he smiled, his face lighting up as his eyes seemed to caress her face, her hair, her shoulders.

‘You really are so like her,’ he murmured almost in a whisper. Then he shook his head as if to bring himself back to the present moment.

‘I was a medical student here, as I’ve already told you. And even though it was extremely hard work and long hours, I still look back on those times as the happiest in my life. Mostly, I suppose, because that’s when I met Anneka. She was working as an au pair to a local family.’

‘How did you meet her?’ Anna asked gently, aware of the shaft of pain that had crossed his face.

‘She used to go out on her evenings off with two other Danish au pairs. They used to join in with the groups of students that congregated around the pubs and bars. I fell for her the moment I first saw her. I offered to buy her a drink and was stunned when all three of them said, ‘‘Yes, please,’’ and proceeded to order the most expensive cocktails from the flashy barman. I couldn’t afford to eat for the rest of that week! When I’d saved up a bit of cash I plucked up the courage to ask her out, making sure the other two were well out of earshot.’

‘Did you sometimes bring her here?’ asked Anna wondering if he’d deliberately chosen this particular pub to try and re-create his time with Anneka.

‘No,’ he replied. ‘She used to like the loud disco music and noisy student atmosphere of the other pubs…the ones I avoided tonight.’

‘She was a bit of a raver, was she?’ Anna asked, beginning to draw a picture in her mind of a woman with her own blonde-haired looks but with a totally different personality.

‘Weren’t we all?’ Jack laughed, casting his mind back to his mad student days. ‘She liked partying into the night—and almost got fired from her job because of it!’

‘Oh, dear,’ said Anna, deciding that she and his late wife would have had very little in common apart from the blonde hair.

Jack was still in the happy world of the past as he recalled the angry scene on the doorstep between Anneka and her employer when he’d taken her home in the early hours of the morning after a particularly riotous all-night party.

Anna and Jack had been in the pub less than an hour. Anna finished her wine and glanced at her watch.

‘I ought to be getting home soon,’ she said, hoping that he wouldn’t cross-examine her on why she needed to be leaving so soon. She hadn’t worked out a convincing answer and was relieved when he too said it was time he was on his way. It wasn’t that she found his company boring, far from it. There was something magnetic about him and, if she hadn’t been so traumatised by her recent break-up, she might have found herself falling for him.

They walked into the pub car park, saying very little, preoccupied with their own thoughts. When they were in the car he put the key in the ignition and started the engine. Then he switched it off. He turned towards her and put his arm round the back of her seat.

Oh, God, she thought, he’s going to kiss me.

Before she could make up her mind about how she was going to handle the situation, it turned out he wasn’t intent on kissing her at all—he was only trying to get at his mobile phone.

‘Would you mind if I made a quick phone call?’ he asked.

‘No, please do,’ she said, relief flooding over her. He was a gorgeous, handsome man, with a sexy voice, and no doubt most other women would have been delighted for him to kiss them, but not Anna. She was completely immune to his obvious charms…indeed, she was completely immune to any man’s charms. She must have a heart in there somewhere, but she felt as if it was made of stone.

Jack retrieved his mobile from a bag he’d placed behind her seat. He dialled a number which was answered almost immediately.

‘Hi, it’s me,’ he said. ‘I’m on my way home. Is there anything you need me to pick up from the shops on the way back?’

He paused while the person at the other end replied.

‘OK,’ he said, ‘just some yoghurts. Is strawberry still her favourite?’

Another pause.

‘Fine. See you in a few minutes.’ He ended the call and replaced the mobile in his bag.

Anna didn’t show any curiosity about the phone call. Her mind was elsewhere, conjuring up images of Liam, wondering what he was doing right now.

Jack started the car again. ‘I was just phoning my housekeeper,’ he explained. ‘Damn, I meant to ask her if Saskia was still awake. I like to see her before she goes to bed but it’s not always possible with my irregular hours of work.’

‘Saskia?’ Anna asked.

‘My daughter.’ Jack gave her a quick glance. ‘Didn’t I mention her? I suppose I was too busy boring you with stories of my misspent youth.’

Anna felt stung. ‘You didn’t bore me!’ Was her disinterest so obvious to him? And now, just as he was about to take her home, he mentioned that he had a child! She would have found that a much more interesting topic of conversation than hearing all about Anneka-the-party-girl.

‘Tell me about Saskia,’ coaxed Anna. ‘How old is she?’

‘Three. She had her birthday last week…we had a little tea-party for her.’

‘We?’ All of a sudden she was finding the conversation intriguing.

‘There was Christine, my housekeeper-cum-nanny, Saskia’s three little chums from nursery school and my parents, who came up from Cornwall. And I managed to make it through the whole party without getting called in to the hospital.’

‘Sounds fun, the party,’ said Anna. ‘I’ve got three nephews and two nieces and I adored helping out at their birthday parties when they were small… Oh, you turn left here and my road is immediately on the right,’ she instructed. ‘I live in the block of flats near the postbox.’

Jack followed her directions and pulled to a stop outside her flat. He ran his eyes over her but this time they had a softer look, not the unsettling scrutiny that he’d been giving her ever since they’d met.

‘Do you like children?’ he asked.

‘Very much,’ she replied, reaching for the doorhandle. ‘Anyway, Jack, thanks for the drink.’

He saw her to the front door and then walked back to his car.

‘See you at the hospital,’ he called to her retreating back.

* * *

Jack drove home via the supermarket and picked up the strawberry yoghurt. When he arrived at his house he was told that Saskia was already in bed and asleep. He’d been hoping that Christine might have kept her up after her bath, as she often did, so that he could see his daughter and put her to bed himself. He liked reading bedtime stories to her and asking what she’d done during the day. It was for him one of the highlights of the day.

‘I thought you’d probably be home late,’ said Christine, ‘with you going out with a colleague.’ He noted the hint of criticism in her voice.

He couldn’t remember whether he’d mentioned that it was a female work colleague—but from the disapproving way she was reacting he guessed that he must have let slip that it had been a woman he was meeting. Christine, wonderful nanny and housekeeper that she was, was also overly protective of her employer. She was always warning him about ‘unscrupulous women’—according to her, there were hordes of them who were just waiting to grab someone like him and trick him into marriage. If there were women throwing themselves at him, Jack had been too grief-stricken or too busy to notice. In fact, Anna Craven was the first woman he’d asked out since his wife died.

He went upstairs and crept into his daughter’s room. He could see in the soft glow from her nightlight that she was asleep. He knelt by the side of her small bed and moved the teddy bear that was pressed up against her chubby cheek. She stirred slightly before resuming her blissful slumber. Her rounded features were still those of a baby even though she proudly told everyone that she was a ‘big girl’ now that she was three.

He touched her golden hair, stroking it gently with his fingers. Her mother’s golden hair…the mother she’d never known.

‘Saskia,’ he whispered softly, ‘Sweet dreams, my darling.’

He gazed at her silently for several minutes, conscious of the almost imperceptible rise and fall of her breathing, watching over her like a guardian angel.

What a strange couple of days it had been! Days of such contrasting emotions. Yesterday, when he’d first seen Anna, the shock had almost felled him. He truly had thought he’d been starting to hallucinate…the pain he’d experienced had almost been physical in its intensity. Three years had been swept away in the blink of an eye when he’d come face to face with Anneka’s double. Anneka, his adored wife, taken from him so suddenly and so cruelly.

Jack sighed deeply. Thank goodness for work, he mused. It had given him something other than his bereavement to focus on. And, later that day, when he’d found himself working with Anna, he’d been able to put the whole episode in perspective. He now realised that, apart from the close physical resemblance, Dr Anna Craven was very different from his late wife. He was so glad she’d agreed to go out with him for a drink—especially as she was the only woman he’d found remotely attractive in the last three years. Asking her out tonight had helped him to get over yet another obstacle as he clawed his way back to emotional normality. It hadn’t been easy…to other men it would have been just a quick drink after work, but for Jack it had constantly brought back memories of happier times. There had been a time when he hadn’t been able to imagine ever wanting to go out with another woman—but today he’d desperately wanted Anna to come out with him. Furthermore, he’d found her attractive. Extremely attractive.

‘Welcome back to the land of the living,’ he murmured to himself, still gazing fondly at his daughter.

Then he kissed her softly on the forehead, placed the teddy bear at the end of the bed and let himself out of the room, closing the door silently behind him.