Читать книгу The Clergyman's Widow - Барбара Хофланд - Страница 5

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When Mr. H—— paid his promised visit to his new acquaintance, the following morning, he found him tolerably cheerful, and extremely grateful for the kind attention: he now spoke of his family with composure, and even pleasure, sometimes anticipating his return with sparkling eyes, whose very brilliance proved its impossibility; at others, expressed anxiety about his wife, who was now near her confinement; but in every thing expressing submission to that divine hand, who 'killeth and maketh alive.'

The mental acquirements of Mr. Gardiner kept pace with his virtues; and his interesting conversation, and conciliating manners, endeared him so much to his young friend, that, except at those hours when it was his duty to attend to business (being a junior partner in a mercantile house), his whole time was given to the invalid, whose increasing weakness proved but too fully that the cares of friendship were drawing to a close. As soon as their acquaintance warranted the offer, H—— accommodated Mr. Gardiner with his own lodgings, and slept on a mattress in the same room, attending to all his ailments with the most sedulous affection; and, as far as his circumstances enabled him, relieved every want, and supplied every deficiency to the departing saint, whose spirit appeared to rise in proportion to his sufferings, and whose faith shone brightest as the glimmerings of life declined.

It was generally their custom to take two short walks in the day, when the strength of the patient permitted it: these were frequently taken in the burial-ground of the British factory, on account of its vicinity to their lodgings. This solemn spot, where rows of tall cypresses shed a deep gloom over the sacred ground, is peculiarly calculated to awaken pensive reflection in the minds of Englishmen; for there lay many of our countrymen, cut off in the very blossom of life, in the very zenith of enjoyment; it is the very cemetery of youth, beauty, and rank. How affecting must it have been to these two, then, one of whom knew not but on the morrow the very ground on which he now stood might be opened to receive him; the other, rendered conscious, from every inscription around him, that the strength he now felt bracing his limbs, the health that now mantled on his cheek, was no security for life, but that he, like the companion that now clung shivering to his arm, might be blasted in his prime, the fond expectations of his heart cut off, and those he best loved sigh over his untimely tomb!

One day, as they were returning from their melancholy walk, the good man paused at the gate, turned round, and took a view of the ground they had quitted, with an air of pensive satisfaction in his countenance; after a short pause, 'I am thinking,' said he, 'that there is scarcely one person in this burial-ground who has attained my age. I have lived near forty years, most of which have been passed in serenity and content, and the last fifteen (with a few exceptions) in a state of as much felicity as is consistent with probationary existence. For these wonderful blessings ought I not to bow down in grateful adoration to Him who ordereth all things well? Yes, my young friend, I ought; and I do cry, with humble thankfulness, "Be it unto me according to thy will, my Father and my God!" for thy promise is precious to my heart; I can "leave my fatherless children to Thee, and my widow shall trust in Thee, and be at rest."

As the pious sufferer thus repeated the blessed promises of the divine word, his pallid countenance glowed with the sublime emotion of devout affection and stedfast faith, and his words were uttered with a precision and fervour, that appeared an emanation of supernatural power to the eye that glanced over his emaciated form. With awful admiration and chastened pleasure, to be felt, but not described, the young man gazed on him, as he supported him, and, unable to speak, could only lift up his heart to 'Him who seeth in secret,' and pray that like composure, might be given to him, when the same solemn sentence should be passing on his head—Nor was the prayer unheard. The exertion of this day appeared too much for the enfeebled patient, and his affectionate young friend secretly resolved that it should not be repeated; he even interdicted conversation for the rest of the evening. In the course of it, an English officer, with whom he had some acquaintance, came in, and earnestly pressed him to accompany him to the opera; Mr. Gardiner joined in the entreaty, saying—'You have lately confined yourself so much with me, that I really fear I am doing you an injury. Your spirits and health will suffer from it. Do, my dear fellow, leave me for once, and go with your friend,'

Though Mr. H—— did not apprehend that his suffering charge was materially worse this evening, yet his mind was not in unison with objects of frivolous pursuit, and he was aware that the time would be very short in which he could drink wisdom from the faltering lips which so kindly urged him to depart! he therefore positively refused to go, and, in a short time, saw reason to congratulate himself on his resolution, as the patient was soon after seized with a fit of coughing, so violent as for some minutes to threaten suffocation.

When he was a little recovered from the state of exhaustion this had occasioned, H—— proposed putting him to bed, which was thankfully acceded to, but was found unusually fatiguing and distressing, but, when accomplished, seemed to give him new spirits. Contrary to the injunctions of his anxious attendant, he indulged himself in speaking of his wife and children, with even more than his usual tenderness; and begged that H—— would promise him, that if ever he went within fifty miles of their habitation, he would visit them—a promise the young man willingly made, but lamented that some years would pass before he returned to England. 'No matter,' returned he, with calmness, 'you will write to them, I am certain, and you will arrange all my affairs in the way I wish. Yes, excellent young man,' he exclaimed, with increased energy, 'you will do all things well. Know, that much as I thank you for your labour of love towards me, a helpless stranger, and sincerely as I pray that it may be repaid sevenfold to your own bosom, I yet rejoice most in your friendship, as deeming it the especial gift of my Almighty Guardian.' As he spoke, the last words were uttered with difficulty, and his vivid eye said more than his parched lip. In great agitation, the youth besought him to speak no more, but endeavour to sleep. 'I am going to sleep,' he replied, with a smile of heavenly calmness, 'and never forget how sweet that sleep was made to me:—let the remembrance of this hour be your shield and support in the world of sin and sorrow, whither you are going; and then my dear, dear boy, my God will be your God also.' He ceased to speak and to breathe. The youth stooped forwards, to catch the last precious sound, but all was still—the last pulse had ceased to beat, and the good man slept in peace.