Читать книгу The Pregnancy Promise - Barbara McMahon - Страница 10

LIANNE arrived at work early Thursday morning. She had her coffee in hand and was prioritizing her phone calls when Tray entered her small office and looked at her.

“I hoped you’d be back in today. How are you feeling?”

“Back to normal, thank you.” She felt awkward and embarrassed remembering him preparing her meals.

“Good. Mark’s meeting me for lunch. I thought the three of us could go together.”

“Today?” she asked, surprised Tray had acted so quickly in lining someone up. She half thought he’d been giving her lip service.

“No time like the present. Mark will be here at noon.” With that he disappeared down the hall.

The phone rang and Lianne’s day began.

As noon approached, Lianne grew more and more nervous. She’d never met anyone before with the deliberate intent of seeing if they could hit it off enough to get involved. How far would it go—to marriage? She thought when the right man came along she’d recognize him immediately and be swept off her feet. Now she felt like some of the man-hungry women she’d read about out for only a meal ticket. Only in her case it was a baby ticket. Was she wrong to try for a family? She would miss so much from life if she never had a child of her own.

She made a good income. She didn’t need a man to support her. But she did need a man if she wanted a baby before it was too late. One who would be a good father—and loving husband?

Tray and a tall man with sandy hair entered her office promptly at noon. She looked up and smiled at them both, feeling like an actress getting ready to go on stage who couldn’t remember her lines. The visitor smiled easily when Tray introduced him.

“Join us for lunch,” Tray said as if it wasn’t already planned.

“Thanks, I’d like to.” She pretended she didn’t see the surprised look Mark had given Tray. This was never going to work.

Lianne felt awkward at the lunch table. For one wild moment she considered refusing when Tray had issued the invitation, but her boss had gone to all this trouble for her, she had to hold up her end.

Soon, however, the awkwardness began to ease when Mark proved to be entertaining and personable. Probably needed to be for his job, she thought skeptically. She couldn’t help compare the two men. Tray was dark, quiet, intense. Mark had a sunnier disposition and seemed interested in her. Maybe they would hit it off.

When lunch was finished, Tray excused himself—to be available for an important phone call due from Europe.

“For the first time since I’ve known him, his timing is superb,” Mark said when Tray left.

“Oh?” Lianne asked.

“I was hoping I’d get a moment alone with you. I’d like to invite you to dinner, if you’re free.”

“I’d love to,” she replied. Had a script been written out, it couldn’t have gone better.

“Tonight?” Mark asked.

“Terrific,” she said, smiling. Her heart didn’t skip a beat. There was no sense of weightlessness or flutter of excitement. But Mark was entertaining and maybe feelings would develop. She couldn’t expect love at first sight. That was surely a fantasy in books.

Tray was in a meeting when she returned to work. She wanted to let him know about her dinner date, but couldn’t leave a message with his secretary. She hoped the cryptic note would clue him in.

The afternoon flew by. Tray stopped at her desk at one point, on his way to meet with some of the operatives.

“So?” he said, holding up the note she’d left.

“Date tonight,” she said.

He nodded and moved on. Lianne watched him walk away. She was disappointed he didn’t want to know more. He’d set it up, wasn’t he more curious? Sighing, she turned back to the analysis she was working on. He’d know soon enough if she and Mark would make a match of it.

Her phone rang.

“Lianne,” she answered, glancing at the time. Another hour or so and she’d take off.

“Hey, thought you were coming to see me when you got back from the cottage,” her sister said without preamble.

“It was late last night and I came to work early this morning.”

“Obviously. I called before but you were busy. You doing okay?” Annalise asked.

“I’m hanging in there, if that’s what you wanted to know.”

“Feeling okay?”

“Much better.” Lianne sighed softly. It was a day-by-day thing at the time of her period. The rest of the time her life seemed normal.

“I’ve been thinking what you need is a social life to find some man to fall for,” Annalise said.

“I’m ahead of you there, I have a date tonight.”

“Really, who with?”

“Tray introduced me to one of his friends.”

“Why would he do that?” Annalise asked.

“I told him about the situation.”

“He came to the cottage, didn’t he? I thought he might when he almost browbeat me into giving out where you were. Were you okay with that?”

“Yes, that was fine. He listened to my tale of woe and came up with this idea—meet his friend who used to be married and wants to be married again. Maybe we’ll hit it off. We all had lunch together today and Mark asked me to dinner tonight.” She didn’t tell Annalise about Tray’s help for two days. Her sister would jump to erroneous conclusions.

“Fast worker. How are you feeling about that?”

“He seems nice.”

“Yuck, the kiss of death. No one wants to be nice. If he’s only nice, he’s not for you.”

Lianne laughed. “Don’t be silly. Of course I want a nice man for a husband. What—do you think I should have someone not nice?”

“How would you describe your boss?”

Lianne went still for a moment. “Why?”

“I figured you would fall for someone like him. You and I are alike and he’s the closest man to Dominic I know.”

“He’s nothing like your husband.”

“Maybe not superficially, but they both have that rock-hard center, they know their way around the world and give me the feeling of being able to take on anything—and come out the winner.”

Lianne nodded, then realized her sister couldn’t see her. “I guess. But I’m definitely not his type. His latest girlfriend could be a super model. Thin, beautiful and sophisticated.”

“You’re pretty and sophisticated,” Annalise said.

Lianne laughed. “I noticed you left out the thin part. But I’m not in her league, not that I want to be. Tray’s not for me. Anyway, I’ll let you know more about Mark after dinner tonight. Gotta go.” She hung up and returned to her task. Her and Tray? Where did Annalise come up with such an idea? She would not give that a moment’s thought. They were work colleagues—nothing more.

It was after eleven by the time Lianne returned home. Dinner had been at one of the “in” restaurants in Washington. Even on a Thursday evening it had been crowded. Mark had reserved a table so there’d been no wait. Lianne wondered how he’d managed that.

She kicked off her shoes and went into the kitchen. Putting the kettle on, she got tea from the cupboard. A cup of chamomile would help her relax. She yawned, feeling her cheek muscles protest. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d smiled so much. Be polite, she could hear her mother’s voice echoing throughout the night.

The phone rang. She went to answer, noticing the flashing light on her answering machine.

“So how did it go?” Tray asked when she answered.

Lianne was surprised to hear from him. Annalise she expected.

“All right.”

“Only all right?”

“He’s nice.”

“But?”

“Does there have to be a but?” she asked, stalling. Mark was Tray’s friend.

“Yes, with that lead-in, there does.”

She hesitated a moment. It would serve no purpose to delay, time wouldn’t change anything. “He’s nice and still hung up on his ex-wife. If I had to listen to another word about how he’d screwed up and how she’d been an angel only he hadn’t seen it in time, I thought I would scream.”

“The man has rocks for brains,” Tray said. “Did he talk about her all night?”

“No. That’s what is sort of sad. He’d talk about something, then end up talking about her. Once he’d realize he was doing that, he’d stop and try another topic, segueing back to his ex. I think he really wants to be over her, but he’s not.”

“Are you seeing him again?”

“No.”

The silence stretched out for several seconds.

“Maybe I know someone else,” Tray said slowly.

“Forget it. Annalise knows some men she says are right up my alley. I’ll see how I get along with them. It’s my own fault. I love my job, you know that. I still should have done more about a social life before now.”

“This was only the first day of your campaign.”

“You make it sound like a war strategy.” It wasn’t at all like she hoped. She pictured herself as happy as her twin when she fell in love. Now the entire thing sounded analytical and deliberate. Where was the happiness in all this? Was the price of a baby going to be too high?

“It is a kind of strategy. You need to find the right match.”

“Mmm. It’s early, I know, but what if I don’t find someone I can even think of going to bed with?”

“Was that the real problem with Mark?”

She thought about it a moment. “Yes. No matter what, I couldn’t see myself getting intimate with the man.”

“It was a first date,” Tray said.

“I don’t think that would change.”

“You’ll find someone. Let me know how your sister’s friends work out. I have another couple of friends who are still single.”

“Maybe they want to stay single like you,” she said.

“You think I won’t marry?”

“Tray, you’re thirty-six years old and haven’t come close to getting married yet. You date some of the world’s most beautiful women. I think you’re hard to please. And you have to admit, you spend a lot of time at work. Relationships take time to build and maintain.”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t want a family—someday.”

Lianne heard the kettle whistling. She walked into the kitchen and turned off the gas. “Do you think there are several people in the world a person could be equally happy with?”

“Maybe.”

“I mean that one man for one woman sounds awfully chancy. What if they pass each other by? Would neither ever find happiness?” Lianne asked wistfully.

“You’re getting too philosophical for tonight. Go to sleep and tomorrow see what your sister turns up.”

Lianne fixed her tea and went to the living room. Turning off the lights, she opened her drapes and gazed out over the lights of Washington. Sipping the warm beverage she thought about her evening. The highlight had been the conversation with Tray. What did that say about her chances of finding Mr. Right?

How odd her sister thought she should be on the lookout for someone like Tray. He was handsome in a very sexy way, if she let herself think about it. Mostly she considered him her boss. And she’d decided early in her tenure with Protection, Inc. not to become involved with a fellow employee. She’d heard of office romances gone bad. Her job had been too important to her to risk it.

For a moment she wondered what it’d be like to be romanced by Tray. Fleeting, at best. He had a different girlfriend every few months. She’d rather spend hours each week working with him, than be one in a long line of dates.

She finished her tea and went to bed. Tomorrow would provide new opportunities.

Saturday Lianne spent thoroughly cleaning her apartment. Not that it was messy, mostly dusty and needing some freshening. She wasn’t home enough to clutter up things. Once done, she changed into clean jeans and a pink top and headed for her sister’s. They had planning to do.

Annalise and Dominic had a luxury apartment near Dupont Circle, a neighborhood in Washington for young professionals, with outdoor cafés and a wide variety of ethnic restaurants. The shops were upscale and unique, a pleasure to browse through. Parking was a problem, so Lianne took a cab. Just as she arrived, it began to rain. So much for planning a quick walk and coffee at one of the cafés, she thought.

When Lianne reached her sister’s apartment, Annalise was waiting. She threw open the door and reached out to hug her. “Come in. Dominic’s away for a few days, so it’s just us. Isn’t the weather a bummer. I thought we could take a walk and talk.”

“My thoughts exactly.” They grinned at each other. They’d shared that bond all their lives.

“I can order in. A caramel macchiato for you, right?” Annalise asked.

“And you’ll have the double cap,” Lianne said, taking off her jacket. “Where is Dominic off to this time?”

“Brussels. There’s some big NATO event going and they’re using super computers and he’s needed to make sure they run with no glitches.”

“And you didn’t want to go?” Lianne asked.

“Not this time. I’ve a big deal about to close. I want to be here for that.”

Annalise was in real estate, selling homes in an area of Washington that catered to embassy personnel and members of Congress.

“Let me order the coffees and then you and I need to discuss this situation. I can’t believe we didn’t know this would become a crisis. Surely something else can be done to help you,” Annalise said.

Lianne filled her in on all the doctor had to say. “There’s no guarantee I can even get pregnant. But if I want a chance at a baby of my own, I need to at least try,” she ended.

“Did the doctor give you a time limit?” Annalise asked.

“No, but each month the pain gets worse. It must be getting worse, this month is the first time I have missed work.”

“Maybe you didn’t tell me the full extent of everything.”

Lianne shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. I guess it’s just a matter of how long I can hold out. Dr. Wright wanted to schedule the op at my last visit.”

“Hold on a little longer. Let me tell you about this friend of mine in the office. He’s about our age and never been married. So no ex-wife to bore you with.”

“Do you think he’s interested in marriage and kids?”

“With the right woman, of course.”

Lianne didn’t take her sister’s assertion to heart. But what did she have to lose? If he turned out to be the man of her heart, she’d be forever grateful.

“So tell me more about him,” Lianne said.

Tray threw his pencil on the desk and rose, pacing around the office. He couldn’t concentrate. The normal appeal of the job was missing. Saturdays usually allowed him to catch up. He was too distracted to concentrate. This was going on too long. He wasn’t sleeping well and knew he had to get beyond the grief he held for a baby he’d never known. He went to the window. The rain slanted down, blurring his view. It looked cold. As cold as he felt every time he thought about Suzanne and her unconscionable act.

Comparing her with Lianne came naturally these days. One woman casually and callously ended a baby’s life before it even had a chance. The other was doing all she could to be able to have a baby that she’d cherish all its life. Why hadn’t fate denied Suzanne a pregnancy and granted an easy time for his analyst?

Talking with Lianne at the shore had reaffirmed his faith in women. His analyst wanted a baby desperately. He’d heard all his life how his mother had so longed for a child she’d risked her own life, and lost. Those were the kind of women that kept the species going. He wished he could do something for Lianne. He was in the business of providing solutions, why couldn’t he find one for her?

He turned and looked at the stack of folders on his desk. Maps lined one wall, on sliding bars to move in and out of the forefront. He’d built up a good security business over the last eight years. The need continued unabated and the company was growing to meet demand.

But Suzanne’s heinous act had knocked him off his original course. He’d thought he’d find a woman to admire, respect and want to build a life with. She’d provide him with children who could inherit the business, make his uncle a grandfather. Someone to spend holidays with, share celebrations and downturns.

He wanted to offer more for any children he may have than he’d been given. Not that his uncle didn’t do his best. Part of the reason Tray pushed so hard to make a success was for a future generation.

That had ended before it even had a chance. Anger at Suzanne flared all over again. How could she have had an abortion just to keep from stretch marks and morning sickness? They’d used protection every time. Only something had happened. There could have been choices, except she’d had the abortion before telling him she was pregnant.

He’d spent as much time and anguish over her as he wanted. She was out of his life. He hadn’t dated anyone in the last ten months. He’d been gifted with keen insight in security measures. Why hadn’t that extended to Suzanne and her intentions? He fisted his hand again, wanting to hit out, assuage the thirst for revenge. There was nothing he could do to change the past, only mourn the outcome.

He only wished the grief at the loss of the baby would fade as quickly as the feelings he once thought he had for Suzanne had vanished. Life was unfair, as his uncle often said. Lianne longed for a baby. He should have slept with her if there was to be a mistake, not coldhearted Suzanne.

The phone rang. Glad for the distraction, Tray answered on the second ring.

“Mark here. I made a hash of things,” his friend said.

Tray leaned against the desk. “What are you talking about?” He had a good idea, but didn’t want his friend to know his part of connecting him with Lianne, or that he’d already spoken with Lianne.

“I took Lianne out to dinner the other night and spent the entire time talking about Wendy. How dumb can one man be?”

Tray thought about his own connection with Suzanne and how he’d misjudged her.

“Join the club. It’s a man thing—act dumb around women.”

Mark sighed. “Think so?”

“What happened?”

“Nothing. I took her home. She smiled all night long but never gave any indication she wanted a kiss or anything. So I thought I’d play it cool. Then I called her last night and only got her answering machine. I’ve called twice today. She never answers. Guess I need to take the hint, huh?”

“Give her a day or two and try again. If she doesn’t take that call, then give up,” Tray suggested. He knew Lianne didn’t want more dates with Mark, but he hated his friend sounding so down.

“Maybe. Or maybe I need to get my act together first and get over Wendy. I thought I was ready, obviously not.”

The two talked for a short time. When he was off the phone later, Tray considered himself lucky he’d been able to get over Suzanne. He hoped he never became so caught up with another person he couldn’t function any better than Mark if the relationship ended.

He picked up a folder and rose. He’d stop by Lianne’s desk to see if she were in. She often worked on Saturdays. He shook his head, what was he doing—he didn’t need to see her today. Monday would be time enough. Only he continued heading toward her office.

Lianne wasn’t at her desk.

He was about to leave when he saw a piece of paper on the floor near her printer. Unlike Lianne to have anything out of place. He crossed and picked it up to place on her desk. Glancing at it Tray was startled to find it was a checklist of some kind—for a father for her baby.

He put down his folder, nudged her door closed and sat behind her desk, his eyes taking in the list of attributes she wanted in the father of her baby.

Athletic (no sedentary lifestyle)

Knowledgeable about many things (to better teach our child)

Interested in childhood events (school plays, field trips, prom)

Strong interest in education (college!)

Interest in finer things (Art galleries, Smithsonian, Kennedy Center)

Sense of family (there until adult at least)

Tray read all the items on the list; some were a puzzle to him, but most were clear. Lianne was listing criteria for the father of her baby. Tray gave a sardonic chuckle. How many men would relish being judged on criteria listed instead of on themselves or a spark of attraction between them?

Curious, he began to jot notes beside each. He spent time behind his desk, but he didn’t consider his life sedentary. He worked out at the gym, liked to ski in winter, sail in summer. And being out in the field kept a man busy providing the needed protection his clients demanded.

It was after seven by the time he finished. An exercise in getting into Lianne’s mind, he thought as he balled up the paper and tossed it into the trash. He thought he knew how she thought from their working together. But her list surprised him. Not the fact she had a list; as long as he’d known her, she was always jotting down lists. But the various aspects she considered important were the surprise.

Nowhere did he see anything that applied to a lover or mate for her. Was she so caught up in a baby, she discounted herself?

He took his folder and left. The offices were silent. Everyone working today had left except the night crew manning the monitors. He passed that large room, glanced in through the glass walls and noted people competently carrying out their assigned tasks. He knew everyone there, but only in a business sense.

The same way he knew Lianne. But the glimpse into her personal life intrigued him. Especially after thinking about her criteria. Why wasn’t she looking for something for herself? Or maybe there was a page two and he hadn’t seen. The thought almost had him turning around to try to get into her computer to search. But that would be an invasion of privacy, and Tray had a strong sense of right and wrong. It bumped the limits reading the paper from the floor. He would never deliberately go into her files without her permission.

But it didn’t stop him from speculating what she’d want in a lover.

He had never thought about her in that light. For a moment he could picture her cheeks flushed with passion, her eyes sparkling and her smile seductive. It wouldn’t take much imagination to see her on a bed, with that glossy brown hair spread out around her and her lips parted in temptation.

Sunday morning Lianne slept in—at least for her. She rose at eight and took a quick shower. The day loomed endlessly. Last night’s date had been another bust. Maybe there was a reason for her not being part of a couple—she was too picky. But she couldn’t help it. She wanted the best man possible to father her baby. Was it her fault she couldn’t find one? Mark hadn’t appealed to her on a basic level. Not to mention he was still hung up on his ex-wife.

Peter from Annalise’s office sounded too immature himself to be considered as a father. For some men having children caused them to grow up. In this case, Lianne suspected she would find rivalry between Peter and a baby. Not her ideal situation.

And somewhere she had to add sex appeal. So far the thought of kissing any of the men hadn’t held any appeal. How could she get naked with them?

After a hasty breakfast, she put on warm wool slacks and a sweater. She’d run by the office for a little while and make sure she had all the latest data for the head of that African country’s visit next month. Not a big player in world politics, nonetheless she wanted to make sure his visit to the nation’s capital went without a hitch. And one never knew where fanatics lurked.

Entering the office a short time later, she went right to work. It was almost noon by the time she was ready to take a break. Maybe she’d get a sandwich at the deli up the street and study some of the men there. She felt as if she was becoming skewed in her thinking. Now everything revolved around men, men, men.

Glancing around as she rose, she noticed a ball of paper in her otherwise empty wastepaper basket. She never did that. Curious, she pulled it out and smoothed it open. It was one of her lists—filled out! She recognized Tray’s handwriting.

For a moment she was mortified he’d found her list. What had he thought? Then she began to read it. He had actually jotted brief notes by each of her traits. For a moment she felt disoriented. Dare she consider Tray as a possible father for her baby?

He’d meet all the attributes. Even without his notes on the sides she knew that. He was educated and valued it highly—witness the education matching funds he provided employees and the internships he gave promising college students each summer.

He had a wide variety of interests, which made him fit in with every single person he protected, be they heads of states or prominent businessmen.

She knew he had a subscription to the symphony and ballet, as he often gave away tickets when business intruded.

She looked out the window, hearing her sister’s voice echo—you’re too involved with Tray. She wasn’t, not in that sense. They worked together—closely. But it was strictly business.

Not that she’d have a problem picturing them kissing. Or doing more.

She banged her head against the glass. She’d never thought of her boss in that way—but only because it would prove too dangerous. She’d felt a pull of attraction at their first meeting. Getting started in her career had been too important to her to fantasize about a personal relationship. Over the years she’d become used to hearing snippets about his women friends from others. She couldn’t compete. And she didn’t want to. She loved her job, relished being considered a colleague, having her opinion sought and listened to. She especially liked the nights when they worked late—sharing dinner, solving impossible scenarios.

She wasn’t some empty airhead who thought looks more important that brains. Those were the kind of women he liked to take out.

But there was a hint of pleasure in remembering he’d called her pretty at the cottage.

She folded the paper and stuffed it into her pocket. Grabbing her purse and jacket, she left the office. She was not going to get ideas about her boss. He was so far off-limits she should not even think of him and a baby in the same frame.

Yet every other man she’d seen recently paled in comparison. Was that the problem—Tray set the standard the others failed to meet?

Lianne spent the rest of Sunday wishing she had not gone into the office. She had thrown away the paper and fished it out of the trash twice. Finally she stuffed it in the bottom drawer in her dresser beneath a stack of sweaters. But out of sight did not mean out of mind. Was he interested?

If so he was too direct not to say something.

At least she believed so.

“Oh, God, what if he did say something?” she exclaimed, horrified and thrilled by the idea.

She started to call her sister, but decided against it. Getting into her car just before dark to head to the beach was her way of coping. She reached the cottage long after nightfall. The sound of the waves soothed her as she turned into the driveway and stopped by the dark house.

If nothing else, the rest of the night would be spent putting Tray out of her mind and trying to figure out a way to find the perfect father for her baby.

Monday morning Lianne arrived at work confident she could handle anything Tray threw her way. She turned on her computer. Jenny came to the doorway.

“Lianne, something’s wrong with Tray,” she said, looking half frightened.

“What do you mean?” She couldn’t imagine anything going wrong for the man.

“I took him the printout he’d requested at the end of work on Friday. Instead of telling me he expected it days ago, he didn’t open the door to his office but told me to go away. He’s never told me to go away.”

“Where’s Emily?” Lianne asked of Tray’s secretary.

“She wasn’t at her desk.”

Lianne rose. She’d never heard of such a thing. “Give me the printout, I’ll see he gets it,” she said. In only seconds she was outside Tray’s office. Sure enough Emily was not at her desk. What was going on?

She knocked. “Tray, I have the Sanderson’s printout.”

“Go away,” he replied.

She blinked. Opening the door, she stuck her head in, peering around to see him standing by the window, one arm raised and leaning against the casing.

He heard her and turned, glaring at her.

“I don’t want to be disturbed.”

Instead Lianne stepped inside and closed the door. She crossed to the desk and laid the printout on the messy surface. “There’s definitely something wrong. What it is?”

He frowned at her for a long moment, then the look turned to one of pain. Lianne’s eyes widened slightly. She’d never seen Tray like this.

“My uncle died unexpectedly this morning. I just learned of it.” He turned and faced out the window. “We spoke on the phone just a few days ago. Nothing was wrong. At least nothing he told me. God, the man was only fifty-nine. Too young to die.”