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Chapter Four

The crib and changing table were white to match the other nursery furniture Caitlin had purchased. Matt insisted on buying Miss M. a crib mobile with brightly colored, puffy felt clowns that pranced around in a circle to the tune of “Rock-a-Bye, Baby.”

They loaded the large boxes into Matt’s SUV, then trekked back into the mall to select blankets, crib sheets, sleepers, several two-piece outfits and a pretty, red dress.

Carolyn had said that it was traditional for all the children being adopted to wear red on their last night in China, as it was the Chinese color for health, happiness and prosperity. Matt refused to leave the clothing department until he found a pair of white socks with red bows to go with the dress.

The next stop was for diapers, bibs, bottles, formula and a pacifier that Carolyn had said the babies would need on the airplane because of the cabin pressure.

In each department Caitlin showed the saleswoman the pictures of Miss M. for advice as to what size to buy.

“It’s a bit difficult to tell how big she is,” one saleswoman said, “because no one is holding her for reference. She looks small for six months, I think, but better to have the clothes and diapers a little big than too small. Oh, she is so cute. What proud new parents you must be.”

“Well, we’re not…” Carolyn started.

“Not coming down off our cloud number nine for a very long time,” Matt finished for her.

“Good for you,” the woman said. “Now, let’s get you what you need.”

“Why did you allow her to believe that we’re married and the parents of this baby?” Caitlin whispered to Matt as they followed the woman.

Matt shrugged. “That’s what she assumed and it was easier just to go with it.”

“Oh,” she said, nodding.

That made sense, Caitlin thought as she placed packages of diapers in the cart. Why get into a lengthy explanation about how Matt was helping because her friend got hurt and couldn’t make the trip and…yes, it was simpler to let it go. She and Matt looked the same as Marsha and Bud must as they were doing the same type of shopping, as well as the other people in their group.

The new mommies and daddies. Daddies and mommies. Daddies. Parents-to-be who were soon going to complete their family with a wonderful little daughter. Mommy, Daddy and Baby and…

Stop it, Caitlin, she ordered herself. She was getting caught up in the charade that Matt had put in place. Her daughter was getting a loving mother.

“Baby wipes,” Matt said, dropping a box into the cart. “Great invention.”

“You sound like an expert on the subject,” Caitlin observed, pulling her thoughts back to attention.

“Hey, I’m a MacAllister. I’ve changed my share of diapers over the years. The MacAllister clan is very big on babies.”

Caitlin laughed. “I’ve never changed a diaper in my life. I’m assuming it’s not all that difficult. It isn’t, is it?”

“I wouldn’t say that. There’s a definite technique to it. If you get a wiggly kid you can be in big trouble if you don’t get that diaper on really fast. There’s a lot of dexterity involved, wrist action, too.”

“Oh, cut it out.” Caitlin laughed. “You’re making it sound like a person needs an engineering degree to do this.”

“That would help, yes,” Matt said solemnly, then burst into laughter in the next instant. “I had you going there for a while, didn’t I? You should have seen your face. No, Caitlin Cunningham, changing diapers is not tough. Now then, do you want to discuss methods of burping a baby?”

“Just hand me another package of those wipes.”

Oh, this was a fun outing, she thought, and Matt was fun and funny. She felt so happy, carefree, so incredibly glad she was who she was. Well, that stood to reason. She was the one who was about to become a mother. But the extra gift of laughter that was accompanying this shopping trip was thanks to Matt MacAllister. She’d remember this evening because it was very, very special.

Back at the house, Caitlin insisted on washing all the baby clothes while Matt was assembling the crib and changing table.

“Don’t forget to wash the diapers, too,” he said, peering in his toolbox.

“Wash the…Matt, those are disposable paper diapers.”

“See?” He grinned at her. “You know more about diapers than you thought you did. If you were a complete dunce about those nifty things you would have dumped them all in the washing machine.I’m just trying to boost your confidence, my dear.”

“You’re cuckoo,” Caitlin said, pointing one finger in the air.

“I know.” Matt chuckled. “But I’m loveable. Ah, here’s the screwdriver I want.”

Lovable, Caitlin thought as she left the room with an armload of clothes and blankets. Lovable? As in, Matt was a man who would be easy to love, fall in love with? No, that last mental babble needed to be split in two.

Yes, Matt probably would be a man who would be easy to fall in love with because he had it all at first glimpse—looks, charm, intelligence, a marvelous sense of humor, and on the list went.

But easy to love? To be a partner with, the other half of the whole? No. Matt the workaholic, the man so dedicated to his career that he had put his own health at risk, so focused on his position at Mercy Hospital to the exclusion of everything and everyone, would not be an easy man to be in love with.

It would, in fact, be impossible to be in a serious relationship with Matt because he wouldn’t do his share, wouldn’t help nurture the love. And like a flame of a candle struggling to stay warm and bright, that love would eventually be snuffed out, leaving the place where it had been in chilling darkness.

Caitlin frowned as she put the baby clothes in the washing machine, then held up the sweet little red dress before adding it to the load.

Where on earth, she thought, was all this heavy, nonsensical rambling coming from? She hardly knew Matt MacAllister. Yet she had jumped all the way from “How do you do, it’s nice to meet you” to passing negative judgment on the man as a life partner. Ridiculous. Really dumb.

Caitlin added detergent to the wash, closed the lid on the machine, turned it on, then headed back to the nursery to see how the mechanic was coming along with the assembling of the crib for precious Miss M.

Matt finished his projects just as Caitlin was putting the last of the freshly washed purchases in the dresser.

“Done,” he said.

“Me, too,” she said, turning to smile at him. “Oh, this room looks perfect, Matt. Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome,” he said, then wound the mobile, causing the perky clowns to march in a circle as the music played. “Dynamite.”

Caitlin laughed. “That mobile is so cute. It’s a terrific gift for Miss M. and she thanks you, too. Now all we need is that telephone call from Carolyn saying it’s time to pack our meager little suitcaseand get ready to go. Oh, I get goose bumps just thinking about it.”

“Yep.” Matt nodded. “You know, I think ‘Rock-a-Bye, Baby’ is a waltz, of sorts. Ms. Cunningham, may I have this dance?”

“Are you serious?”

Matt closed the distance between them, drew Caitlin into his arms, then began to move her around the center of the room in time to the lilting music. Caitlin stiffened for a moment, then allowed Matt to nestle her close to his body.

And they danced.

They weren’t in a huge ballroom dressed in their finery, with chandeliers twinkling above them as a band played. They were in a medium-size bedroom that had been transformed into a nursery decorated in yellow and white and that was waiting for a precious baby to arrive from the other side of the world.

They danced.

Not to the music produced by professional musicians in tuxedos, but to the tune accompanied by smiling clowns in brightly colored outfits who were keeping step to the music.

They danced.

It was a silly thing to do, yet it was the perfect thing to do, and Caitlin sighed in contentment as she savored the strength of Matt MacAllister, the aroma that was uniquely his, the feel of his tall, solid and nicely muscled body.

The music slowed, the clowns swung lazily around in their circle, then stopped as the last note played and a silence fell over the room.

The dance is over, Matt thought. He had to let Caitlin go and step away from her. But, oh, man, she felt fantastic in his arms, so delicate, so feminine, fitting against him as though custom-made just for him. She smelled like flowers and sunshine, and her dark curls had been woven from silken threads.

He had a feeling…oh, yeah, he knew…that he was going to remember this dance for a very, very long time.

Slowly and reluctantly, Matt eased Caitlin away from him, then dropped his arms to his sides. He nearly groaned aloud when he saw the dreamy expression on her face, the soft smile on her lips.

He wanted to kiss her, he thought. She was so beautiful, so womanly, and their dance had been so special and, damn it, he wanted to kiss her.

Don’t do it, MacAllister, he ordered himself. Don’t even think about it.

“Well,” Matt said a tad too loudly. “I guess I’d better be on my way.”

Caitlin blinked. “Oh. Yes, of course, I… Would you like a dish of ice cream?”

No, Matt thought. He was treading on dangerous ground, his desire for Caitlin liable to be stronger than his common sense. He was going to leave right now, get a solid night’s sleep and be back to normal in the morning. Yes, that was exactly what he was going to do.

“Ice cream sounds great,” he heard himself say, then glanced around quickly with the irrational thought that he would discover the source of his reply.

“It’s mint chocolate chip.”

“Sold,” Matt said. To the jerk who should be walking out the door. “That’s one of my favorites.”

Why had she done that? Caitlin asked herself as Matt followed her to the kitchen. Why hadn’t she escorted Matt to the door, thanked him again for his help with the nursery, then closed the door on his gorgeous face before she did something else as ridiculous as dancing in the middle of a not-even-here-yet baby’s room?

That would have been the smart thing to do. But, oh, no, not her. She was now about to share a sinfully delicious dessert with Matt and prolong this unsettling evening even more. Where was her brain?

Caitlin sighed as she removed a carton of ice cream from the freezer.

Her brain, she thought, plunking the carton on the counter, had gone south the moment Matt had taken her into his arms. Well, all she could do now was shovel in the ice cream as quickly as possible, plead fatigue, then…finally and overdue…send Matt on his way.

“I’ll serve that up if you like,” Matt said. “How many scoops do you want?”

“One.” Caitlin set two bowls next to the carton. “Just one. Small. A small one. I’m going to go check my answering machine for messages while you do that. I’ll be right back.”

Matt watched as Caitlin nearly ran from the kitchen, then he turned to open the carton of ice cream.

Caitlin was jangled, he thought. It made him feel a tad better knowing that she had been just as affected by the dance as he had. It fell under misery loves company, or some such thing.

But if she was struggling with desire as he was, why had she invited him to stay for dessert? He didn’t know the answer to that one. Caitlin was definitely not the type who was inching toward enticing him into her bed after they’d had their snack. Not even close. He knew that, just somehow knew that.

“Matt,” Caitlin said, rushing back into the room. “Oh, you won’t believe this. Well, maybe you will, but I can’t.” She stopped by his side and pressed her palms to her flushed cheeks. “Can you? Believe it?”

Matt chuckled. “I don’t have a clue if I can, or can’t, because I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh. Yes.” Caitlin patted her cheeks. “I’m going over the edge.” She drew a quick breath. “Okay. I’m fine. There was a message from Carolyn on my machine. We’re leaving Sunday morning for China. This is Thursday, Matt, and we leave on Sunday. Oh, my gosh. I can’t believe this.”

Matt replaced the carton of ice cream in the freezer, then carried the bowls to the table at the end of the kitchen.

“Come sit down and have some of this before you either faint, or float away on your happy cloud.” He paused and frowned. “Sunday morning? Whew. I’m scheduled to make a couple of speeches, attend some fund-raising events and… Homer just isn’t cut out for going in there cold. This is very short notice to find people to take my place.”

Caitlin slid onto a chair at the table. “It’s wonderful notice.”

Matt settled on the chair opposite her and took a bite of ice cream.

“Mmm. Great stuff,” he said. “Are you going to be able to sleep tonight? You’re so excited you’re about to bounce off the walls.”

“I know.” Caitlin smiled brightly. “I can’t stop smiling. In just a handful of hours I’ll be on an airplane winging my way toward Mackenzie or Madison.”

“Take a bite of ice cream. You’re eating for two now.”

Caitlin laughed. “That’s true, in a way. I am getting closer and closer to being a mother. Oh, Matt, we leave on Sunday.”

Matt reached across the table, covered one of Caitlin’s hands with one of his, and smiled at her warmly.

“I’m sincerely happy for you, Caitlin,” he said. “I really am. Your excitement, joy, is contagious, too. I’m certainly looking forward to seeing Miss M. for the first time, instead of just looking at her pictures. That is going to be quite a moment.” He released her hand and picked up his spoon again. “I’d better polish this off. After all, I’m also eating for two.”

“Pardon me?” Caitlin said, leaning toward him slightly.

Matt shrugged. “Well, think about it for a minute. I’m taking the place of your assistant, your girlfriend who flunked roller derby 101. So, for all practical purposes, as I take on the role she would have had during the length of the trip, I become Miss M.’ s…surrogate father.”