Читать книгу I Do...: Her Accidental Engagement / A Bride's Tangled Vows - Barbara Wallace, Barbara Wallace - Страница 14

Chapter Seven

Julia swiped under her eyes and focused her attention on her mug of lukewarm coffee, unable to make eye contact with her mother or sister.

Lainey paced the length of Vera’s office in the All Creatures Great and Small animal shelter. By contrast, their mother sat stock-still behind her desk.

“That’s the whole story,” Julia finished. “The judge ordered us into mediation and that meeting is tomorrow morning. I don’t think it will do any good. I know what I want and Jeff’s parents know what they want. If we can’t come to an agreement with the mediator, there will be a final hearing where the judge makes a ruling.”

“Is Jeff going to be there?” Vera asked, her tone both soft and razor-sharp.

“I guess so, but it will be better if he isn’t, if it looks like it’s his parents who want this.” Her breath hitched. “The latest document I got from their attorney asks for an every-other-year joint-custody arrangement. There’s an opportunity for it to be amended if Charlie’s well-being is in jeopardy with one of the parties.”

“Every other year?” Lainey stopped pacing. “How can they think of taking him away from you for that long? You should have told us this as soon as you knew, Jules. Maybe we could have done something—”

“What, Lainey?” Julia snapped then sighed. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to take it out on you. But what could have been done? I hoped if I made it difficult for them, they might give up. The first letter said they wanted full custody and offered a hefty payment for the expenses I’ve already incurred in raising Charlie.”

“They thought you’d sell them your son?” Lainey’s voice was incredulous.

“That’s one way of looking at it. The last Jeff knew, I’d gotten pregnant as a way to keep him. He could have told his parents I didn’t really want to be a mother or wouldn’t be able to handle it on my own.”

“You’re not on your own.” Vera tapped one finger on the desk. “You have us. And Sam.”

Conflicting emotions welled in Julia’s chest again as she thought of Sam. He’d told her to talk to her mom and sister. She knew it was inevitable, so she’d called them both on the way home last night and asked them to meet her at the shelter before work. At the time, it had been a good way to distract herself from Sam and the way he made her feel.

He must have been baffled by her behavior after they’d kissed. Most women he knew could probably handle a simple kiss. Not Julia. Maybe it had been too long since she’d been in a man’s arms. It had taken every ounce of her willpower not to beg him to take her to bed. His touch had rocked her to her core and she’d had to beat a quick retreat so she wouldn’t do or say something she’d later regret.

When he’d proposed the pretend engagement, she’d had no idea how much her emotions would get in the way. She’d had no idea how it would affect her to see Sam cuddling Charlie against his broad chest. How much her body and heart would react to his arms around her. How quickly she’d come to depend on the comfort he gave her and how he made her feel strong by believing in her.

“I’m the one they’re going after,” she told her mom. “And Charlie.” A sob escaped her lips and she clamped her hand over her mouth.

Lainey rushed to her side and Julia let herself be cradled in her sister’s warm embrace. Silence descended over the trio. This was the time Julia would normally make a joke or sarcastic remark about her propensity to ruin her own life. But, right now, she was just struggling to not break down completely.

This was the reason she hadn’t told her family. Their sympathy and the disappointment she felt from them brought back too many memories of the past and the feelings that went with it. Her LD and the shame that went with it had made her put up walls against everyone around her. She’d gotten used to getting by, keeping secrets, not letting on how bad things really were. It was a difficult pattern to break.

From the time she’d been younger, Julia had made an unintentional habit of disappointing the people she loved. She’d let other people’s judgments guide the way she lived her life. The belief that she was lazy and stupid had stopped her from getting help so many times. It was easier not to open up to her family about her emotions. She was too afraid of being exposed as weak and lacking in their eyes.

Even when she’d shown up on her mother’s doorstep, pregnant, broke and alone, she hadn’t cried or offered long explanations or excuses. She just kept moving. Now she felt stuck in quicksand, as though nothing could save her.

Vera’s palm slammed onto the desk. “We won’t let this happen. Have you consulted Frank?”

Julia nodded. Frank Davis had been practicing law in Brevia for as long as she could remember and was a friend of her mother’s. After Sam’s suggestion that she see an attorney, she’d hired him to represent her. “He’s helping with the case.”

Vera nodded. “That’s a good start. You need to talk to Jeff. To understand why he’s doing this now when he had no previous interest in being a dad. Surely you’ll be awarded sole custody. You’re Charlie’s mother and you do a wonderful job with him.”

“I don’t know, Mom. Jeff’s family is arguing that they can give Charlie opportunities he’ll never have with me.”

“A child doesn’t need anything more than a loving family. Let them set up a college trust if they’re so concerned with opportunities.”

“What do you want to see happen?” Lainey asked.

That question had kept Julia up many nights. “I’ll support them having a relationship with Charlie. I’m sure as he gets older he’ll have questions about his father’s family. I want him to be surrounded by all the people who love him.” She paused and took a breath. “I’m afraid he’ll eventually choose them.”

“He won’t,” Lainey said softly.

“You can’t know that. But he needs to live with me now. Full-time. Swapping him back and forth is ludicrous.”

“I’m going to the mediation,” Vera announced.

Julia’s stomach lurched. As much as she appreciated and needed her family’s support, she was afraid it would only make her more nervous to have her mother with her. “That’s not a good idea. I appreciate the offer but I need to handle this on my own.”

Lainey squeezed her shoulder and asked, “Has Jeff contacted you directly or tried to see Charlie?”

Julia shook her head. “No. Neither have his parents, other than when I got messages about discussing the custody arrangement.”

“When did that start?” Vera came around the side of the desk.

“About a month ago. I ignored them until the certified letter arrived last week.”

“Ignoring your problems doesn’t make them go away.”

Funny, it had always worked for Julia in the past. She’d taken the easy way out of every difficult situation that came her way before Charlie. And thanks to the complexity of her difficulties processing both words and numbers, problems seemed to plague her. From bad rental agreements to unfair terms on a car loan, her inability to manage the details of her life took its toll in a variety of ways. Still, nothing had prepared her for this.

A knock at the door interrupted them.

“Come in,” Vera said.

A member of the shelter staff entered, leading in a gray dog. Or more accurately, the gray dog led her. Upon seeing Julia, the animal pulled at the leash, his stubby tail wagging. His lips drew back to expose his teeth.

“That’s quite a greeting,” Lainey said with a laugh.

“Sam thought it was a snarl when the dog first came at him.” Julia bent to pet him. The dog wiggled and tried to put his front paws on her chest. She body blocked him. “Down.”

“What’s the report?” Vera asked the young woman.

“We’ve done his blood work and tested him for heartworm and parasites. Surprisingly, he got a clean bill of health.”

“That’s great.” Julia felt relief wash over her. “Have you had any calls about a lost Weim?”

The young woman shook her head. “Not yet.”

“We’ll do a three-day hold before he moves onto the available-dog list.” Vera dropped to her knees next to Julia. The dog lunged for her, teeth gleaming, but Vera held up a hand and gave a firm “No.” The dog’s rear end hit the carpet, although one corner of his mouth still curled.

Julia met her mother’s gaze. “The smile’s not good for him, is it?”

Vera shrugged. “It depends on the potential adopter, but a lot of people might think the same thing Sam did. We’ll find a place for him. We always do.”

Julia stroked the dog’s silky ear. She’d planned on leaving the Weimaraner at the shelter this morning. “Can I foster him? Until the waiting period is over or someone shows interest. I’ll work on basic training commands to help offset the shock of the smile.”

Vera hesitated. “You’ve got a lot going on right now, honey. Weims aren’t easy dogs. They can have separation anxiety and get destructive.”

Frustration crept across Julia’s neck and shoulders. “You know being in a foster home is better for a dog’s well-being.” She couldn’t believe her mother would insinuate the dog would be better in the shelter than with her.

“Of course,” Vera agreed, as if she realized she’d crossed some imaginary line. “If you’re willing to, it would help him immensely.”

“Have they named him yet?” Julia knew the shelter staff named each animal that came in to make their care more personal.

The young woman shook her head.

“Call him Casper,” Julia said.

“The friendly gray ghost?” Lainey asked, referring to the breed’s well-known nickname.

Julia nodded. “It fits him and will give people a sense of his personality.”

“Perfect,” her mother said then asked the young woman, “They’ve done a temperament test?”

She nodded. “He’s a big sweetie.” The walkie-talkie clipped to her belt hissed. “I’ll finish the paperwork with Julia as the foster.” When Vera nodded, the woman smiled and walked out of the office.

“It’s settled.” Julia was going to make sure this dog found the perfect home. She straightened. “Charlie will be thrilled.”

She turned to her mother. “I need to get Charlie from Ethan and drop him to the sitter before heading to the salon.”

“I’ll take him today,” her mother said, in the same no-argument tone she’d used earlier.

“Really? I’m sure your schedule is packed after your trip.”

“I’d love to.”

Julia gave her mother a quick hug. “Thank you.” She turned to Lainey. “Both of you. It helps to know I’m not alone.”

“You never have been,” Vera told her.

“And never will be,” Lainey added.

* * *

As she gave Charlie a bath later that night, Julia had to admit Sam had been right. Talking about the situation with Lainey and her mother had made her feel more hopeful. She might have flitted from job to job and through a number of cities during her twenties, but now she’d settled in Brevia. She was close to the point where she could make an offer to buy the salon, assuming this custody battle didn’t wipe out her meager savings.

She wrapped Charlie in a fluffy towel, put on a fresh diaper and his pajamas, Casper at her side the whole time. She didn’t mind the company. She’d taken him for a walk with Charlie in the stroller earlier, after the dog had spent the day with her in the salon.

A few of the clients had been shocked at his wide grin, but his affectionate nature had quickly won them over. It also made Julia feel more confident about his chances for adoption.

When the doorbell rang, Casper ran for it and began a steady bark. Carrying Charlie with her, she put a leash on the dog. A part of her hoped Sam was making another unexpected evening call.

Instead, Jeff Johnson stood on the other side of the door. Casper lunged for him but Julia held tight to the leash. She stumbled forward when the shock of seeing her ex-boyfriend combined with the dog’s strength threw her off balance.

“Watch it,” Jeff snapped as he righted her.

Casper smiled.

“What the...? Is that thing dangerous?” Jeff stepped back. “He looks rabid. You shouldn’t have it near the baby. Are you crazy?”

“Casper, sit.” Julia gave the command as she straightened. The dog sat, the skin around his mouth quivering. “Be careful, or I may give the attack command.” She made her voice flip despite the flood of emotions roaring through her.

For a satisfying moment, Jeff looked as if he might make a run for it. Then his own lip curled. “Very funny.”

“Good doggy.” Charlie pointed at the canine.

“He talks,” Jeff said, surprise clear.

“He does a lot of things,” Julia answered, her eyes narrowed. “Not that you’d know or care since you beat a fast escape as soon as you found out I was pregnant.”

Jeff flashed his most disarming smile, a little sheepish with his big chocolate eyes warm behind his square glasses. That exact smile had initially charmed her when he’d come in for a haircut at the salon where she’d worked in Columbus, Ohio.

For several months dating Jeff had been magical for her. He’d taken her to the theater and ballet, using his family’s tickets. They’d gone to poetry readings and talks by famous authors on campus. Some of what she heard was difficult to process, and in a moment of vulnerability, she’d told Jeff about the extent of her learning disabilities. He’d been sympathetic and supportive, taking time over long evenings to read articles and stories to her, discussing them as if her opinion mattered. It was the first time in her life Julia felt valued for her intelligence, and she became committed to making their relationship work at any cost.

Soon she realized what a fool she’d been to think a well-respected professor would be truly interested in someone like her. It was clear that Jeff liked how his friends reacted when he’d shown up at dinner parties with a leggy blonde on his arm. He’d also gotten a lot of use out of the way she’d bent over backward cooking and cleaning to his exacting standards when she’d moved in with him. If she couldn’t be on his level intellectually, she’d fulfill the other roles of a doting girlfriend. She’d wanted to believe that a baby would make him see how good their life together could be. She’d been dead wrong. Once she wasn’t useful to him, he’d thrown her off like yesterday’s news.

“Come on, Julia,” he said softly, his grin holding steady. “Don’t act like you aren’t glad to see me.” She’d been fooled by that smile once and wasn’t going to make the same mistake again.

She flashed a smile of her own. “I don’t see anyone throwing a ticker-tape parade. You can turn right around. I’ve got no use for you here.”

“I’m here to see my son,” Jeff said, as any trace of charm vanished.

Charlie met his biological father’s gaze then buried his face in Julia’s shoulder, suddenly shy.

“Why now, Jeff?” She rubbed a hand against Charlie’s back when he began to fidget. “Why all of this now?”

He sighed. “The custody request, you mean.”

Jeff’s IQ was in the genius range, but sometimes he could be purposefully obtuse. “Of course the custody request. Do you know the hell you and your parents have put me through? We’ve barely scratched the surface.”

“Invite me in, Jules,” he said, coaxing, “and we can talk about it. I have an offer that may make this whole mess go away.”

It had felt different when Sam stood at her door waiting to be invited through. Her stomach had danced with awareness and her only doubt had been worrying about her heart’s exhilarated reaction to him. Still, Julia relented. If she had a chance to make this better, she couldn’t refuse it.

Jeff stepped into her apartment but froze when Casper greeted him by sticking his snout into Jeff’s crotch. “Get away, you stupid mutt.” Jeff kicked out his foot, hitting Casper in the ribs. The dog growled.

“Casper, no.” She pulled him back to her side with the leash then leveled a look at Jeff. “Don’t kick my dog.”

“It was going for my balls. What do you expect?”

“I wouldn’t worry too much. As I remember, your mother keeps them on her mantel.”

Jeff gave a humorless laugh. “Always one for the quick retort. I miss that about you.”

“Good doggy. Charlie doggy.” The boy wiggled in her arms and Julia put him on the floor. His chubby finger pulled the leash from her hand and he led the dog toward the kitchen. “Doggy nice.” Casper followed willingly.

“You trust that beast with him?”

“More than I trust you.” Julia folded her arms across her chest. “For the record, there’s nothing I miss about you.”

Jeff’s eyes narrowed. “He’s still my son. Whether you like it or not, I deserve to be a part of his life. There’s no judge in the world who will deny me access.”

“I never wanted to deny you access. I called you after he was born, emailed pictures and never heard one word back. You haven’t answered my question. Why now?”

His gaze shifted to the floor. “Change of heart.”

“You need a heart for it to change. You made it clear you never wanted to be a dad. What’s the real story?” Before he could answer, Charlie led the dog back into the family room. He pulled a blanket off the couch and spread it on the floor. “Mama, doggy bed.” She smiled as her son took a board book from the coffee table and sat on the blanket with Casper, making up words to an imaginary story.

Her gaze caught on Jeff, who yawned and looked around her apartment, obvious distaste written on his face for the kid-friendly decorating style. He didn’t pay a bit of attention to his son. Since she’d opened the door, he’d barely looked at Charlie. It was the first time he’d laid eyes on his own flesh and blood. She realized he couldn’t care less.

Unable to resist testing her theory, she said, “He’s about to go to sleep. Do you want to read him a story? He loves books.”

Jeff held up his palms as if she’d offered him a venomous snake. “No, thanks.”

“I’ve got paperwork that says you want joint custody of my son. You act like you’d rather be dipped in boiling oil than have any interaction with him.”

“I told you. I’ve got a proposition for you.”

“What?”

“Marry me.”

Julia stared at him, disbelief coursing through her. He couldn’t have shocked her more if he’d offered her a million bucks. “Is that a joke? It’s sick and wrong, but it must be a joke.”

“I’m serious, Jules. You’re right—I have no interest in being a father in any sense of the word. Ever. In fact—” he paused and ran his fingers through his hair “—I got a vasectomy.”

“Excuse me?”

“After you, I was determined no woman would try to trap me again.”

“It takes two. I’m sorry, Jeff, that I ever believed we could be a family. I know how wrong I was. But I don’t understand why you’ve changed your mind now?”

“Are you kidding? I love my life. I’ve been on two research expeditions in the past year. I make my own schedule and can teach whatever classes I want. Why would I want to be tied down to a woman or a baby?”

“Then why are you suddenly proposing? Why the custody suit?”

Jeff had the grace to look embarrassed. “My parents found out about my surgery. It made them interested in our kid. You know I’m an only child. They expected me to marry and ‘carry on the family line.’” He rolled his eyes. “Whatever. But my dad’s company is a big funder of my grants. If he wants a grandchild, I need to give him one.”

Julia’s gaze strayed to Charlie, who was snuggled against Casper’s back, sucking on his thumb. His eyes drifted closed. She felt a wave of nausea roll through her. “You need to give him one? And you think you’re going to give him mine?”

Jeff shrugged. “Technically, he’s ours. When my parents want something, they don’t stop until they get it.”

“How is anything you’re saying good news for me? Why don’t you get the hell out of my house and out of my son’s life?”

“Not going to happen.”

“When the judge finds out your plan...”

“No one is going to find out. I’m the father. You can’t keep him from me.”

“I want to keep him safe and protected.”

“That’s why you should marry me. Oh, I heard all about your engagement to the cop. He’s not for you. I know you. You want someone who’s going to make you look smart.”

Julia sucked in a breath. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Does he know about your problem?”

When she didn’t answer, Jeff smiled. “I thought so. I’m guessing you don’t want him to. It hasn’t come up in the court proceedings, either, but that can change. Here’s my proposal. Marry me, move to Ohio. My parents’ property is huge. They have a guesthouse where you can live with the boy. All of your expenses will be covered.”

“Why would I agree to that, and what does it have to do with us being married?”

“A marriage will seem more legit to my parents’ precious social circle. They’ll get off my back with someone to shape and mold into their own image.”

“Like they did you?”

“My parents are proud of me.”

“I thought your father wanted you to give up the university and take over his business.”

“Not going to happen.”

“Instead, Charlie and I should spend our lives at their beck and call?”

“They’ll keep fighting until they take him away from you. We all will.”

Her temper about to blow, Julia yanked open the front door. “Get out, Jeff.”

“On second thought, maybe I should read the kid a story. Get to know him before he comes to live with us.”

“Get out!”

Jeff must have read something in her eyes that told him she would die before she let him touch her son tonight. He hesitated then turned for the door.

She slammed it behind him. The noise startled the dog and woke Charlie, who began to cry. She rushed over and cradled him in her arms.

“It’s okay, sweetie. Mama’s here.” Tears streamed down her face as she hugged Charlie close. “No one’s going to take you away from me. No one.” She made the promise as much to herself as to him, wanting to believe the words were true.