Читать книгу A Girl of White Winter - Barb Hendee - Страница 13

Chapter Four

I was standing in the darkness just outside the door of the shack, feeling dizzy and disoriented, as if I’d forgotten something and needed to remember. What was I doing out here?

Then I remembered. I had to make a decision.

Looking to the left, I saw the long tree line stretching along the backs of several dwellings. I could make my way along these trees far enough to slip down into the chute and escape.

But instead, I just stood there, knowing I could not force myself to take such an act.

Ashamed, I went back inside and crouched down by the fire, still feeling disoriented. What was it that I had forgotten?

I stayed like that all night, even after the logs had burned to ashes.

Outside, once the sky had begun turning gray, I heard footsteps approaching, and I watched the door. Caine entered first, with Raven behind him. Both men appeared tense, but Raven’s eyes flickered in surprise at the sight of me. Had he expected me to run? Perhaps I should have.

Caine wasted no time. “Raven’s just asked me that you be given a choice to go on the road with his troupe. I’m asking you to stay.”

His voice was tight, but before he’d finished speaking, I’d made up my mind. I didn’t know either one of them. And yet, I knew Raven a bit…more, and leaving with his people would give me the best chance to send my lady a message.

“I’ll go with Raven’s troupe,” I said quietly.

Caine’s expression grew desperate as he stepped toward me. “Don’t. Stay here.”

Quickly, Raven moved in front of him, cutting him off. “You told me you’d let her choose. It’s just for the autumn. We’ll be back in winter, and she might want to stay then.”

Caine ran a hand over his face. “Don’t take her with you. Please.”

I had a feeling he rarely said please to anyone, but Raven was unmoved. “I’m not taking her anywhere. She’s choosing to travel with us. And you gave me your word you wouldn’t stop her.”

After drawing in a harsh breath, Caine walked toward the door. “You’d better bring her back this winter.”

Then he was gone, and I was alone with Raven, two strangers thrown together.

“Come on,” he said. “My people are packing up.”

* * * *

Walking through the settlement in daylight, I could see it was indeed larger than my initial view in the night. At least forty dwellings were scattered about in no apparent pattern. Several constructions were larger then others, such as the stable and barn and what appeared to be a smithy.

Beyond the farthest dwelling, I could see more cleared land now growing apple trees. Each dwelling we passed sported its own kitchen garden, but at this time of the year, only potatoes, carrots, turnips, and onions remained in the ground. Chickens pecked in the dirt, and goats wandered loose, eating grass and weeds. There were pigs inside of fenced areas. Even at the crack of dawn, a number of people were up and about, feeding chickens, gathering eggs, and milking goats.

As Raven and I continued on, people nodded to him and cast surprised glances at me.

“It’s just your coloring,” Raven said. “They’ve never seen anyone like you.”

Lady Giselle had often told me the same thing.

Finally, he rounded a large dwelling, and we came upon a gathering of six wagons. I remembered some of these from last night. Houses had been built atop them, some with rounded roofs and others with square ones, but they all had windows and back doors. Most were painted in bright colors of yellow or blue or red. The lead wagon was by far the smallest, with a flat roof. It was faded white with blue shutters.

But I didn’t study the wagons for long, as my attention was drawn to the people working busily to load food or supplies or harness horses or catch chickens for cages. There were nearly twenty people—men, women, and children—bustling about at these tasks.

“Tannen,” a woman on the ground called up to the top of a roof. “That crate on the end won’t hold. You’ll need to tie it down more securely.”

She wore a purple wool dress with long sleeves.

Up on top of a wagon, Tannen was helping to arrange crates. “I heard you the first time,” he called back.

“Then listen to me!” she answered.

In her late twenties, she was tall for a woman, about the height of Raven. Her skin was flawless. As opposed to black, her hair was a rich shade of chocolate brown—and so were her eyes. Though her waist was small, her body showed more curves than mine.

She was lovely.

With her hands on her hips, she scolded Raven. “It’s about time. Where have you…?” The words died on her lips when she spotted me partially behind him. As opposed to staring in shock, she assessed me from toe to head.

“Is that Caine’s girl? The one he took? Everyone was talking about her last night. Logan nearly had an apoplexy.”

Holding in a sigh, I readied myself for another conversation as if I weren’t there.

“She’s coming with us,” Raven answered.

“With us?”

“Look at her. We’ll use her in the show.”

“What does Caine have to say?”

“Jade…” he said slowly as if to cut off further questions. “She’s coming with us.”

With a slight frown, she said. “I don’t know where she’ll sleep. We might be able to fit her in with Lizbeth and Ash, but that would make five in one wagon.”

Raven shifted weight between his feet. “She can stay with me.”

In an instant, Jade’s expression went dark. “With you?”

The tension was strong between them, but I didn’t understand it.

He shrugged. “I can sleep on top of the wagon.”

Her eyes narrowed, and she stepped closer. “Up top? If you say so. But if you get too cold up there one night and decide to go scratching on another door, it may not open.”

With that, she whirled and began walking down the line of wagons, calling orders to the people settling crates.

Beside me, Raven let out a sigh. “That went well.” Then he motioned me forward. “This way.”

I followed him to the smallest wagon, the one in the lead. Two horses had already been harnessed to the front, but he took me to the back door and opened it. The bottom of the door was the height of my waist.

“Normally, I have a set of portable stairs positioned here,” he said, “but we’re getting ready to leave.”

Peering inside, I saw how a table and bench had been built into a side wall. A set of cupboards had been built into the wall directly across, and a bed had been built into the front wall. My own chest was sitting up against the bed. I could hardly believe it.

Raven must have read my face because he said, “You’re one of us now, and those things belong to you. We don’t steal from each other.”

In truth, I had no idea what the housemaids had packed for me, but I was relieved to anticipate a change of clothing…and at the thought that I was not traveling into the world with nothing but the dress on my back.

“Does anyone besides you live here?” I asked, for it had sounded like numerous people lived in each wagon.

“No. I don’t take many privileges, but I need my own wagon.”

And yet, he was allowing me to stay here.

Looking down the line of wagons, he said, “I need to go and help. But we’ll be off soon. You can ride inside the wagon or up on the bench with me.”

“Inside,” I answered instantly. I’d not known this would be an option, but at least I would not be under the open sky after all.

With a nod, he laced his hands together and leaned down. “Up you go.”

Placing my foot in his hands and one of my hands on his shoulder, I let him toss me up into the back of the wagon.

“Secure the door so it doesn’t fly open,” he said. Then he was gone.

I looked around the narrow interior. His clothes, mugs, and other possessions were scattered all about. The table was dusty, and the bed was unmade.

Still, for now…I was home.

At least until I could get a message to Lady Giselle.

* * * *

Not long after we rolled out of the settlement, I began to wonder about my decision to remain inside. I should have given thought to the steep downward incline of the chute, and I found myself nearly hurled forward, taking refuge on the bed.

The window shutters were open, and outside, I could see the rock walls only a few hands’ length from the wagon. There was enough room for the wagons to pass downward, but barely. We rolled down and down, and I began to feel queasy.

Just when I thought we’d never level out, we did. Then I remembered all the fuss over Badger driving the Capello wagon through the forest, and I wondered what would happen next, as these wagons were much larger and less wieldy. But Raven turned us east onto a dirt path, and the wagon rolled easily. Not long after, we reached a road.

Though I’d hoped my feeling of queasiness would pass, it continued growing worse, and even though we’d eaten no breakfast, I soon feared that I might start to dry heave. The sensation was miserable.

Not an auspicious beginning to this journey.

Hours passed.

I sat on the bed, suffering in nausea until I began to wish I had run off in the middle of the night to try and find my way back alone. Then finally, I heard Raven call a halt from up above, and the wagon lurched to a stop.

Within moments, the back door opened, and he peered inside.

“Are you faring all…?” Taking in the sight of me, he motioned with his hand. “Out. Now.”

Standing on wobbly legs, I managed to reach him, and he lifted me down.

“Lean over and put your hands on your knees,” he said.

Jade, Tannen, and Badger came around from the wagon behind us. A boy about nine years old walked beside Jade. His hair was chocolate brown.

“How’s the princess?” Jade asked, and when she saw me with my hands on my knees, she appeared both amused and pleased. “Doing well, I see. What a good idea it was to bring her along.”

Tannen cast her a sideways glance and held a canteen out to me. “Water?”

“Thank you. In a moment,” I answered.

Jade carried a light tray in one hand, and with the other, she handed Raven a slice of ham. The smell of it caused my stomach to lurch, and I had little interest in eating lunch. But outside of the rolling contraption, I was beginning to recover and stepped out to look down the line of wagons. There were other people on the ground, sharing food and water, and I wanted to begin taking some stock of my traveling companions. From where I stood, I saw an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple, and two small children—both girls.

At the sound of barking, I looked left to see three small dogs dashing about, chasing each other as if celebrating a few moments to run. All three were white with brown patches.

No one spoke to me, but numerous curious glances were cast in my direction.

After far too short a break, Raven called out, “Time to go! We need to make it halfway to Fayette before dark.”

Instantly, everyone began climbing up the sides of wagons or on to the benches to drive.

Though I dreaded the thought of getting back into Raven’s wagon, I grew more alarmed when he walked up and said, “You’re riding on the bench with me. It’s not good for you in the back.”

Drawing away from him, I begged, “No. Raven, please.”

He frowned. “You can’t still be afraid of me?”

How could I explain? But I didn’t want him to think that I feared him, not after his kindness. “No, it’s not you. It’s the sky.”

“The sky? What do you mean?”

“I’ve never seen it like this…so open.”

“But you were riding with the Capellos. You told us you were Royce’s property.”

“For a day. Before that, I’d hardly left the manor, and then only to sometimes walk in the garden just behind the house with my lady. From there, I could not see how big, how open everything is.”

He stepped close, speaking quietly. “Wait. Are you telling me the Capellos only bought you that same day we found you? And before that, you lived in a manor?”

I nodded. “With my lady.”

“What did you do there at the manor?”

“I was companion to my lady. When she grew lonely, I found ways amuse her or make her glad. She was so kind to me.” Speaking of these things broke my heart. “She fought to keep me, but Lord Jean wanted the land, and Royce wanted me.”

“And Royce took you away that same day we took you?”

Again, I nodded.

For a long moment, Raven said nothing. Then he grasped my hand and led me to the step up to the wagon’s bench. “You’ll get used to the sky, but you can’t ride in the back if it’s making you sick. Climb up onto the bench.”

I obeyed him.

* * * *

In truth, sitting on the bench beside Raven as he drove our team of horses proved a great relief. Out in the fresh air, I was not queasy. Thick trees lined the road we traveled. I kept my eyes on the tail of one horse, and this kept me from panicking at the open sky.

Raven had a water bottle, several apples, and salted crackers on the other side of him, and after a while, at his prompting, I was able to eat lunch.

At first we did not speak much, but it was a comfortable silence. Every now and then, he’d point out something like wild roses growing beside the road or a rabbit hopping across our path. So long as I did not look up, I was all right.

Then suddenly, he asked, “Where are your parents?”

“Dead. My lady took me in as her ward.”

He didn’t press me, but his question made me wonder about him. He had two brothers and a grandfather.

“Where are your parents?” I asked.

“They’re dead too. My mother died when I was thirteen.” He paused. “One summer, she lost her appetite, and my father couldn’t get her to eat. She grew so tired and weak she could barely stand. We couldn’t seem to heal or help her. She died before autumn.”

From his voice, I could tell this memory was painful. I’d never known my father, and I barely remembered my mother. But for a boy to lose his mother at the age of thirteen must have been tragic. My lady possessed some knowledge and skill in the healing arts, and I had seen the ailment that Raven described before—with one of the manor servants. My lady had called it consumption.

“I’m so sorry.”

“We lost my father four years ago in a raid gone wrong,” he went on. “I wasn’t there, but some of our men attacked a large caravan…too large, and they couldn’t contain all the guards. We lost three men that night.”

How awful. But this was different. Why did these people insist on conducting raids at all? They seemed to have most of what they needed. Still, I didn’t press the point. I was more interested in hearing of his family. His life to date had been so different from mine.

“Is your grandfather the leader of the settlement?” I asked, for although I was uncertain, it had seemed so during my short stay.

“Yes.” The word was clipped, as if the question was awkward. “Our word for leader is tórnya. My father was intended to succeed him, but now it’s down to Logan or Caine.”

“Not you?”

“I don’t want it. That’s why Caine thinks he owes me. I asked Grandfather to take me out of the running and give more consideration to Caine. But the truth is that I don’t choose to be trapped at the settlement year-round.” His hands gripped the reins tighter. “Caine would make a better tórnya than Logan. He knows how to listen. But Grandfather wants someone who’s married, with a family of his own. So far, Caine’s shown no interest in marriage.”

“And Logan is married?”

“Yes, to Brida. I think you saw her? She wears her hair in a thick braid?”

I did remember her. She was the first one to see me last night.

“Logan and Brida have two sons,” Raven said. “So unless Caine marries and starts a family, I think Logan will be Grandfather’s choice.”

“And you don’t like the idea of Logan in charge of the settlement?”

“No, I do not.”

“Why?”

He never answered me. Glancing at his face, I could see he wished to end this line of discussion, so, I pointed ahead. “Look, another rabbit.”

Beside me, his body relaxed. “A big one too. I wish I had my bow handy. He’d make a fine stew for supper.”

We fell back into comfortable silence, and the wagon rolled on.

* * * *

We stopped for the night well before dusk had set in. Raven had clearly made this journey before, because he appeared to know where he was going and pulled off the road into a clearing large enough for all six wagons.

“There’s a stream down below for fresh water,” he said.

I followed him off the bench as everyone around us scrambled off wagons and set to work. The men began unharnessing horses and fetching water in buckets. Several of the women built a fire, and Jade carried over a metal tripod with a hook in the center. As she arranged this over a fire, an older woman hung a pot on the hook, and a young woman poured in half a bucket of water.

I stood to one side at a loss. Then I took off my cloak, hoping to help. “Is there anything I can do?”

Jade stood and put her hands on her hips. “I don’t know. Is there anything you can do?”

As I felt my face turning pink, the young woman laughed. She wasn’t much older than me.

“Oh, leave off, Jade.” But she took in the sight of me with some trepidation. “You don’t look strong enough to haul a bucket, and you’ll ruin that gown if it drags in the mud.”

“My gown?”

Embarrassed, I noticed they all wore dark wool dresses in shades of brown, purple, or burgundy. I was still in my ice blue muslin. The color was so light it showed every mark or stain.

“I’m Jemma,” the young woman said. “And this is Lizbeth.” She motioned to the older woman.

Jemma was not so lovely as Jade, with a wiry build and pointed chin, but she was pretty and blessed with silky black hair. Lizbeth looked to be perhaps sixty with ample breasts and hips. She moved quickly for someone of her age.

“I’m Kara,” I answered.

“Well, you must know how to do something, Kara,” Jemma said, laughing again. “Or Raven wouldn’t have you living in his wagon. That’s a first for him.”

Lizbeth laughed too, but Jade didn’t. I had no idea what Jemma meant and was beginning to grow uncomfortable.

Then Jade’s eyes softened as she looked beyond me, and I saw the boy coming toward us, carrying a load of twigs and branches. “Sorry it took me so long, Mama,” he said. “I had trouble finding anything dry.”

“It’s all right, Sean,” Jade answered. “We’ve got a fire going with wood I brought.”

This news surprised me. He was her son? Who was her husband? Even with my lack of knowledge of the world, I’d sensed there was something between her and Raven.

“Here, Kara,” Jemma said. “Come and help me chop these vegetables.”

Looking down, I saw she was on the ground with a knife, a cutting board, and a pile of potatoes, carrots, and onions. Grateful for something to do, I hurried to join her.

“Is there an extra knife?” I asked.

“Yes, right beside that sack.”

The middle-aged woman I’d seen earlier came to join us, introducing herself as Teresa. The two small girls appeared to be hers. Then two other young women, about Jemma’s age, arrived. They offered their names, Emlee and Deidra, but I was beginning to feel overwhelmed and barely heard them, trying to focus on my work.

The large pot was boiling by now. We added potatoes, onions, and carrots. Jade dropped in bits of some type of dried meat.

“All right,” Lizbeth said. “We should go see if the men need help with the horses. Jade, you watch the stew.”

Before I knew what was happening, everyone walked away from the campfire—except for Jade and myself.

She stirred the pot and studied me. “You’re something to see. I’ll give Raven credit for that. He knows an attraction for the show when he sees one.”

I had no response, but she didn’t seem to notice.

“Just be careful around him,” she went on. “He doesn’t mean any harm, but his head is more swelled than most men, and he’s got a wandering eye. Any girl back in the settlement would have him in a heartbeat. For all Logan’s strength and Caine’s handsome face, it’s always been Raven the girls chase after.”

Her voice had an edge to it. She did not appear to have a husband here, and again I wondered if there was something between her and Raven. I wished that I could assure her I was no threat and that I would only be with them until I could get a message to my lady.

But of course I couldn’t tell her this. I didn’t want any of them knowing my plan.

“He can make you feel the sun rises and sets around your head,” Jade said. “But then he spots another pretty face, and the sun rises around her head.”

“He sounds inconstant,” I said.

Her brow lifted. “Inconstant?”

“Fickle.”

She nodded. “That he is. So long as you know.”

Voices carried on the air as everyone began gathering around the campfire. We passed around mugs of water, and then Jade announced the potatoes were soft enough to eat. She dished bowls, and I helped to serve. Tannen and Badger both nodded politely to me, and I was glad for their presence. But this also gave me the opportunity to take account of the entire group, which consisted of six women, three children, and ten men—counting Raven. I knew some of the men and women were couples, but as of yet, I hadn’t quite entirely placed who went with whom.

It did seem strange that they all appeared to live practically on top of each other, and in a moment when everyone was otherwise engaged, I asked Jemma to help me make a few connections. She told me that Badger and Tannen were Jade’s older brothers, neither were married, and they shared a wagon with Jade and Sean.

When the meal was nearly over, Raven left for a few moments and returned carrying a small cask and a wheel of yellow cheese. This met with delight from the group.

“Cheese!” Jemma exclaimed. “Did you bring that back from the raids?”

The cask contained ale, which I declined, but I did accept a slice of cheese—and wondered if he’d taken this from the Capellos’ stores.

Before long, several of the men took out violins and began to play. I sat near Jemma to listen. The first song was lively, but the second was possessed of a sad sound, with haunting strains. It made me think of my lady and how lonely she must be. But then I looked across the camp and saw Jade with her son, Sean. He was holding his stomach in pain. Quickly, I rose and went to them.

“What is it?” I asked.

She was so concerned that her previous dislike of me had vanished. “I don’t know. It’s happened before, but only a few times.”

Kneeling, I asked Sean. “Show me where it hurts.”

Nearly gasping from pain, he put his hands to his lower abdomen. I had seen this before and suspected what might be wrong. Though I’d noticed many goats around the settlement, I’d not seen a single cow.

“I believe the cheese he ate tonight was made from cow’s milk,” I said. “Has he ever had this happen to him after drinking milk from a cow or eating butter?”

She blinked, as if thinking, and then nodded. “Yes…yes every time.” Her expression shifted back to concern. “But it lasts for hours, and this time seems worse.”

Lord Jean had suffered from this same affliction. It could be managed by simply having him avoid any foods containing milk from cows, but occasionally, he would take a foolish risk and eat something such as a dessert with cream in it. When this happened, my lady needed to help him.

“There’s a tea made from herbs that will ease the pain,” I told Jade.

The boy groaned as stomach cramped, and Jade asked, “Which herbs?”

“Fennel and thornapple.”

Several of the women had gathered around us.

“Oh,” Jemma said. “Poor Sean. Is it his stomach again?”

“Can you find some fennel and thornapple?” Jade asked her. “Quickly.”

Jemma and Lizbeth both hurried into the trees and thankfully, they were not gone long. When they returned, I was relieved to see they’d brought the herbs I recognized—the ones my lady had used for Lord Jean.

I ground up the herbs in a bowl. After this, I boiled water over the fire and ladled it over the mixture. Then I used a cloth to strain the liquid into a mug. By now, Sean was in so much pain, he didn’t object as I drew him against me. Everyone was watching, but I shut them from my mind.

“Sip a small mouthful of this,” I told him, holding the mug of warm liquid to his mouth. “It’s bitter, but I promise it will help. Take small sips only when I tell you.”

He took a sip and made a face. A moment later, I had him take another sip. This was a slow process, and he needed a distraction, something to keep his mind occupied. Whenever my lady was sad or needed distraction, I told her a story.

“There was once a village beset by wolves,” I said in Sean’s ear. “Not ordinary wolves, but large, great wolves the size of ponies. They killed sheep and carried off children, and the women of the village begged their men to hunt the beasts down, but the men were afraid.” Sean was listening to me, and I paused in the tale, “Take another sip.”

He sipped and swallowed.

“There was a boy, just about your age, who was not afraid. And in the night, he slipped from the village to hunt down the wolves.”

“By himself?” Sean asked.

“Yes, all by himself. Take another sip.”

I went on to describe the hunt and how the boy once barely escaped the wolves with his life, but in the end, he played a trick and set up heavily-leaved bushes at the edge of a cliff and lured the wolves to chase him, and then he dove under the brush at the last moment, and as they jumped it, seeking to find him on the other side, they all went over the cliff, falling hundreds of feet below to their deaths.

In between parts of the story, I had Sean sip more of the herb tea until it was gone and the story ended.

When I looked up, Jade was watching me.

“How do you feel?” she asked her son.

Sean touched his stomach. “It’s getting better.”

Then I realized everyone, including Raven, was watching me. I had more information for Jade, but it was indelicate, and I wasn’t sure how to word it.

“In the night…at some point, he will probably need to relieve his bowels,” I said quietly.

“Relieve his bowels?” she repeated.

“I think she means he’ll need to shit,” Jemma offered.

With a jolt at her crude use of words, I dropped my eyes to the ground, but the group laughed, and their mood seemed improved after the worry over Sean.

“It’s time for sleep,” Raven said. “We have an early start.”

Jade drew in a sharp breath as she looked at him. “Sleep well on top of the roof.”

He ignored her and walked away.

She came over to take Sean from me. “Thank you,” she said stiffly, and then she shook her head once and touched my hand. “I mean it. Thank you.”

I did not understand her well, but she loved her son. That much was clear. With a nod, I rose and followed Raven to our wagon. He opened the back door for me.

“There are plenty of blankets in there,” he said. “But you’ll need to get a few for me.”

The night was cold now that we’d left the campfire.

“Are you really going to sleep on the roof?” I asked. Surely, some other arrangement could be made.

He flashed a grin. “Unless you’re inviting me to sleep inside?”

Startled, I stepped away, and his expression changed to alarm. “Oh, Kara, I was joking,” he rushed to say. “Don’t mind me. I just need to watch myself when I’m talking to you.”

Leaning down, he laced his hands. I stepped into his hands and then stepped up into the back. After retrieving two blankets, I handed them down to him.

“Good night, Raven,” I said.

His dark eyes scanned my face. “Good night.”

Closing the door, I was relieved to be alone.

In spite of the fact that the wagon contained no source of heat, I couldn’t resist slipping out of my dress—as I had been wearing it for three days—and crawling between the blankets in nothing but my shift.

Raven’s blankets were warm, and the bed was surprisingly soft. I gave one more thought to his lack of comfort up on the roof, and then I fell asleep.