Читать книгу Alaskan Reunion - Belle Calhoune - Страница 12

Chapter Three

Paige could see the look of recognition as it passed over Cameron’s face. Anyone with eyeballs could see the resemblance between Emma and her father. Although she’d always known Cameron to be a good man, she had no way of anticipating his reaction to this bombshell revelation. After all, she never would have believed that he’d have turned against her in the first place. She never could have predicted that their love story would disintegrate into ashes. The Cameron she’d been in love with had been loyal to a fault. And compassionate, as well as tender. Until he had stopped believing in her. Until he’d viewed her as a traitor.

Her body went rigid as she waited for him to speak, to say something about their baby girl. Little beads of moisture gathered on her forehead and she found herself swiping them away with the back of her hand.

“Is she mine?” Cameron asked in a guttural tone. His intense green eyes were focused on her like lasers.

“Yes,” Paige acknowledged with a nod of her head. “She’s yours.”

His eyes held a dazed look. “Wh-when? H-how old is she?”

“I found out that I was pregnant right after I left Alaska. She’s fourteen months.”

Cameron shoved his hand through his dark mane. A slow hissing sound escaped his lips. His foot was tapping an unsteady rhythm on her hardwood floors. He began to clench and unclench his hands at his sides.

“You had my child and never said a word?” Anger rang out in his voice. His jaw clamped down and his expression darkened. “How is that possible?”

Paige tightened her grip on Emma, who was now frowning at Cameron. “We’re not having this discussion in front of Emma. She’s not used to loud voices.”

“Emma. That’s her name?” Cameron’s voice had softened to something resembling tenderness. It catapulted her back to a place in time when they’d loved each other. Sometimes those days seemed so long ago it felt as if she’d dreamed them.

“Yes. After my mother,” she said. “I still miss her every day, but it’s my way of paying homage to her. She was a good woman. If I can be half the mother to Emma that she was to me—”

Emotion clogged her throat and she let her words trail off. Losing her mother in a car accident on an icy Seattle road at fourteen had changed the course of her life. The tragedy had left her and her father bereft for years. She had been the center of their home, and without her they’d floundered. Until they’d both decided to love each other as fiercely as she’d loved them. Her daughter’s name would always remind her of grace and goodness and mercy. Each and every day, she prayed that Emma would be gifted with those attributes.

“It’s a good name,” Cameron conceded. “Your mother was an amazing woman. She had such a light about her. I always admired her quiet dignity and compassion.”

Warmth filled her insides at the tender way he spoke about her mother. The feeling settled right inside her heart, providing her with much-needed comfort in this tense moment.

Emma let out a yawn and rubbed her eyes. She dropped her head onto Paige’s shoulder. The warmth of her little body gave Paige a feeling of comfort.

“Cameron, I know there are probably a hundred things you want to say to me. Questions you need to ask. But I really need to put Emma down for the night. If I don’t, she’ll be a bear tomorrow.”

He looked confused for a moment, as if he was still trying to make sense of this turn of events. “Can I watch you put her to bed? I won’t say a word. I just want to see you put her to sleep.”

Cameron’s request surprised her. She’d figured that having just found out he was a father, he might need some time to process everything. She locked gazes with him, trying to gauge his thoughts. There was a look of such wonder in his eyes. He resembled an adorable little kid. And as always, she found it impossible to say no to him.

“Of course you can. Just walk softly. Her eyes are already drooping,” she whispered as she supported the back of Emma’s head with her hand.

As Paige led the way upstairs, then toward the bedroom at the end of the hall, Cameron trailed behind her. He followed her almost soundlessly. Once she’d laid Emma down on the small twin bed, she began to rub her back and sing to her. It was the same song every night, the one her own mother had sung to her. Cameron stood off to the side, quietly taking it all in. His expression was thoughtful, reverent almost.

“Good night, little one,” Paige crooned as she pulled the quilt over Emma’s body and pressed a kiss to her cheek. She turned off the lamp sitting on the bedside table and made sure Emma’s favorite night-light was lit up. Sleeping in a strange house might result in a middle-of-the-night awakening. If so, Paige would hear any cries or babbling on the baby monitor she’d placed nearby.

When she turned around to tiptoe out of the room, she noticed that Cameron was gone.

* * *

Watching Paige put their daughter to sleep had been a gut-wrenching experience for him. His daughter was achingly beautiful. And innocent. She’d looked so small and defenseless nestled up under her covers. A protective feeling had risen up inside him, one that shocked him by its ferocity. The earth-shattering knowledge that she belonged to him had ricocheted through him like a bullet. He knew from this moment forward he would fight all her battles and make sure everything was right in her world.

His little girl. He’d never imagined bringing a child into the world as a single, unmarried man. The dream had always been to stand at the altar and exchange vows with Paige before God and all their family and friends. It didn’t sit well with him that the Cameron of two years ago hadn’t been connected with his God or his faith. And he’d made mistakes in his relationship with Paige that he deeply regretted, although something told him he would never regret being a father to his precious little girl. He’d turned his life over to God two years ago when everything in his world had gone up in flames. His life was now firmly rooted in his faith with every step he took. Nothing could shake it.

And even though he harbored regrets about his poor choices, he knew that the Lord had a plan for him and sweet Emma.

Emma Prescott. He let out a groan. For all he knew, Paige had given her the last name of Reynolds. He let out a snort. That would go over like a lead balloon in this town.

How could something so delicate and wondrous and perfect have come from him? And how could Paige have hidden something so monumental? Hadn’t she owed him the truth? Lord, please help me make sense of this deception. I feel like I’ve been betrayed all over again.

A myriad of emotions had flooded him when he’d watched Emma drift off into slumber. Joy. Wonder. And resting right on the surface...a righteous anger at Paige for keeping his daughter’s existence a secret. Fury had been stoking inside him like a slow-burning fire. He’d left Emma’s bedroom rather than run the risk of saying something negative to Paige in front of Emma. Try as he might to calm himself down, the questions continued to whirl all around him.

As he gazed out of the huge bay window in the living room, he found himself taking solace in the stunning vista that stretched out as far as the eye could see. The onyx sky was scattered with twinkling stars, while snow-dotted mountains loomed in the distance. If it had been light outside, he might even have been able to catch a glimpse of Deer Run Lake or Nottingham Woods.

Paige’s footsteps echoed behind him. He turned around to face her, making sure to breathe in and out to calm himself. Tension crackled in the air between them.

She reached out and gently touched his arm, causing shivers of awareness to trickle straight through him. “Are you all right? I know everything must be coming at you like a freight train. Finding out you’re a dad is going to take some getting used to, I imagine.”

He ran a hand over his face. “I’m still in shock, I think,” Cameron said. “I can’t seem to wrap my head around the fact that I’m somebody’s father.”

Tears shimmered in Paige’s eyes. “She’s wonderful, Cam. I know I’m biased, but she’ll wrap you right around her finger in no time at all.”

Paige’s words were tantamount to poking a grizzly with a stick. He didn’t want to hear about how magnificent Emma was when he’d missed out on the first year of her life. He should have had the opportunity to experience it himself rather than hear it secondhand from Paige.

“I wish you’d—” He stopped himself, feeling frustrated by his inability to find the right words to express himself without finger-pointing or rage. He let out a strangled sound.

“Reached out to you and told you about Emma?” Paige asked in a low voice.

He frowned at her. “Why’d you do it? Was it some sort of payback for the town wanting to prosecute your father? Was it your turn to turn the tables on me because I wasn’t in your corner?”

Paige shook her head. Her eyes narrowed. “None of those reasons. It wasn’t based on spite or meanness or a desire to lash out at anyone. If you remember correctly, I didn’t leave Love of my own accord. I was thrown out of this town like yesterday’s garbage. Not a single person here wanted to hear what I had to say about the stolen money, nor did anyone consider how it must have felt to be standing in my shoes. I was the town pariah. So when I found out I was pregnant with Emma after leaving here, the very last thing I ever wanted to do was come back to this town.”

“Or to me?” The reality of it wounded him. Things had been so bad between them she’d chosen to raise Emma alone rather than share the experience with him. That knowledge shattered him.

Paige’s mouth hardened. “That wasn’t an option. You made that quite clear when you turned your back on me. If I remember correctly, you told me to leave town, said there wasn’t anything for me in Love.”

“I turned my back on you?” Cameron asked, feeling incredulous at Paige’s spin on things. “You knew where your father went when he left town with all our money and you refused to tell me or anybody else,” he protested. “You protected him!”

Paige angrily brushed away tears. “I didn’t know his whereabouts until much later. He was my father. No matter what you thought of him, he was my only living parent. And I didn’t know for certain where he’d gone or what he’d done. He fled town without saying a word to me. I had my suspicions, but no facts. And this town wanted blood. When they couldn’t produce my father, they went after me.”

Cameron winced inwardly as memories from those terrible days washed over him. He’d been so outraged and jaded and shocked by Robert’s duplicity that he’d been numb to Paige’s pain. It had been an impossible situation. And he still didn’t know how much or how little Paige had known about her father’s scam. For some reason it had been easier to believe that she too had betrayed him, even though he had always known Paige to be an honorable woman.

“Tensions ran high. I’ll admit that,” Cameron said. “People were hurt and devastated and furious. But no matter what went down between the two of us, you owed me the truth about Emma. I had a right to know she was part of this world.”

“That’s one of the main reasons why I’m here, Cameron. Losing my father made me realize that I have no right to keep you from knowing your daughter. Because warts and all, I adored my father. I’m thankful he was in my life. And I want you to have the chance of having the same relationship with Emma.”

He was trying not to lose his temper, but hearing her talk about the man who’d nearly bankrupted Love grated on his nerves. He didn’t want to hear about her great love for her father when he’d missed fourteen months of his daughter’s life. Not when Robert had hurt the people Cameron cared about most in this world and taught him a brutal lesson about betrayal.

“I can appreciate that, but don’t expect anyone else in town to echo those sentiments. Your father was a thief and a liar. He deceived this entire town. And now, because of him, I lost out on moments with Emma that I’ll never get back. The moment she started crawling. Her first steps. Her first word.”

She jutted her chin out. “You lost out on those moments because of my choices and your own actions. My father may have been dishonorable, but he didn’t wreck our relationship. We did that all on our own.”

Paige’s words slithered inside him like a poisonous viper. Was Paige trying to make him responsible for her poor decision? Was she once again deflecting blame from her father? And onto him?

Suddenly all he felt was fatigue. The news about Emma being his daughter had left him reeling. He’d got way more than he’d ever imagined when he set off to track Paige down at the homestead. What he needed right now was some time alone with his thoughts. He needed God as a sounding board as he worked through this situation.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I think it’s time I left, Paige. I came here tonight to get answers about the funds you mentioned wanting to return to the town. Let’s leave this discussion for another time.”

Paige nodded. “I agree. It’s late, and we could probably go round and round this issue for hours. Nothing has really changed in two years between us.” A sigh slipped past her lips. “Although I know I’ve changed. I like to think I’m a better person now, one who’s grounded in her faith and her values. Two years ago God wasn’t a factor in my life, but now He’s my anchor.”

Her faith? God? Two years ago Paige’s beliefs had been nonexistent. Much like his own. During their relationship neither of them had been leading a faith-based life. Matter of fact, he couldn’t remember a single time they had attended church or prayed together. Faith had not been a part of their lives.

He nodded. “I can appreciate that. I’ve turned my life over to God, as well.”

Paige opened the front door for him. Her expression was shuttered. He stood on the threshold, his body half-turned toward her. He bowed his head down for a moment, then swung his gaze up to meet her scrutiny. “You’re wrong about nothing changing, Paige. Emma changes everything. From this moment forward, my life is never going to be the same. I wish you had seen fit to tell me about her fourteen months ago.”

He charged off into the night, not even waiting for Paige to respond. His heart and mind were filled with a hundred different emotions. Fear gripped him. What if he wasn’t cut out for fatherhood? What if it was too late to bond with Emma? Despite those questions, the major emotion he felt was pride in the chubby-cheeked beauty who bore a stunning resemblance to him. However, her mama made him want to scream with frustration and yell at the top of his lungs. She made him feel other things, too. Tender sentiments that tempted him to reach out and caress her cheek or plant a sweet kiss on her lips. It had been entirely too long since romantic feelings had swept over him. It was safe to say he missed those moments.

Even after all this time, Paige made him feel things he had thought were dead and buried in his stone-cold heart. Things he had no intention of resurrecting.

* * *

Paige stood in the doorway and watched as Cameron roared off into the darkness. She wrapped her arms around her middle as the wind whipped straight through her. When she could no longer see his taillights, she headed back inside the house. Seeing Cameron so turned upside down left her feeling guilt-ridden and sad. What had she expected? She had dropped a bombshell on him with no warning. He had been blindsided.

It wasn’t as if they were close. The love they had once shared had died out years ago. All they shared in the present was a precious child.

Although she knew she had done the right thing in returning to Love, it didn’t feel like it at the moment. So much time had passed, yet Cameron was still consumed by anger and bitterness. Would he be able to put those emotions aside in order to co-parent with her? To be the father Emma deserved?

Stay the course. It was her mother’s expression, one she’d used often during Paige’s upbringing. Emma Reynolds had been a firm believer in sticking to a plan and seeing it to its fruition. Don’t give up so easily. Her mother’s voice washed over her like a welcoming summer breeze. She smiled to herself, knowing that once again her mother was sharing her wisdom, even though she was no longer with her. It made her feel not so alone in the world. It gave her courage.

With the large sum of money she now had and a plan to resurrect the cannery deal, Paige knew she could help revitalize this town. If Cameron agreed to join forces with her, they would be unstoppable. But after being bamboozled by her father, she had no idea whether he would ever agree to take this journey with her. And finding out about Emma might just have convinced him that she couldn’t be trusted.

Lord, please let Cameron see Emma as a blessing in his life. And please don’t let his anger over the past blind him to the possibilities for the future.

As she headed to her bedroom to turn in for the night, she couldn’t help but peek in on her baby girl. She soundlessly entered the room, praying the floorboards wouldn’t creak as she tiptoed toward the bed. Emma was curled up on her side, sleeping soundly. Her little thumb was rooted in her mouth. Paige’s chest tightened with raw emotion. What she felt could never be expressed with mere words. It was the purest form of love. Instinctual. Maternal. And more than anything in the world, she wanted to give Cameron the opportunity to bond with Emma so that he too could feel this way about his daughter. Emma deserved two loving parents.

Tomorrow she would seek him out again. This time, though, she was bringing Emma to town with her. There was no way she was going to hide her daughter away like a dirty little secret.

* * *

Cameron fidgeted with the coffee machine, his nerves teetering on the edge as he made the first batch of the day. On a normal morning the scent of coffee wafting in the air served as a shot of adrenaline to his senses. But after last night he was going to need a mega shot of espresso to get him going. He couldn’t seem to focus on the day-to-day tasks that he usually performed like clockwork. It had started with him fumbling over the keys to the Moose Café. It had taken him several tries to find the right one to fit the lock. And judging by the taste of this coffee, he’d messed up his usual process. His mind was somewhere else.