Читать книгу Her Secret Weapon - Beverly Barton - Страница 11

Burke’s lips covered hers with a tender urgency. Soft, yet demanding. She closed her eyes and savored the feel of his mouth on hers. How many long, lonely nights had she dreamed of this moment? How often had she shuddered with desire at the memory of the hours she had spent in this man’s bed? The rational part of her mind warned her of danger. Burke Lonigan was a man of mystery, perhaps a man with a deadly secret life. She shouldn’t become involved in an affair with a man who might well be an international criminal.

As Burke deepened the kiss, his tongue seeking entrance, he leaned forward until his body pressed hers against the wall. A shiver of recognition rippled along her nerve endings. This is the way she had felt the night she had given herself to a stranger and he had given her his child.

Resist him, her mind screamed. Don’t do this! But her body refused to listen. She melted against him, loving the feel of his hard chest pressed into her breasts and his lips devouring her. Of their own volition, her arms lifted up and around his neck, drawing him even closer. When her mouth opened invitingly, Burke delved within to explore and pillage. A gentle humming rose in her throat and turned into a soft moan when it reached her lips. He captured that moan with his mouth, diffusing it into fragments of minuscule sounds.

Callie’s nipples peaked. Her femininity clenched and unclenched. Heaven help her, she wanted Burke. Now. This very moment. Here. Up against the wall.

Don’t do this! You’ll be sorry if you do! her conscience warned. Don’t forget you have more to consider than yourself—you have Seamus. Whatever happens between you and Burke will ultimately affect your child.

Callie forced herself to end the kiss. When she did, Burke groaned and rubbed himself against her in a doesn’t-this-feel-good way that elicited a whimper from her. In order to avoid him instigating another kiss, she turned her head, eased her arms from around his neck and gave him an insistent shove.

Burke lifted his head and stared into her beguiling gray eyes. He couldn’t remember the last time he had ached so to make love to a woman. Since the first moment he’d seen Callie Severin, he’d been attracted to her, but he never mixed business with pleasure. A cardinal rule that he had just broken.

Undoubtedly she had the same reservations as he and that’s why she’d ended their kiss. He knew damn well that she wanted him every bit as much as he wanted her. His instincts had been telling him for weeks now that Callie felt the same sexual tension that he did. But she was his employee, the best PA he’d ever had. An affair that might end on a sour note could wreck their perfect working relationship.

Burke lifted his hands from the wall and stepped backward, placing a couple of feet between them, but he kept his gaze riveted to hers. She smiled weakly. Burke swallowed hard. Just the sight of her did crazy things to his libido. Callie possessed a fragile beauty, an old-fashioned loveliness that drew him to her. Her curly auburn hair couldn’t be confined within the neat bun at the base of her neck. Flyaway tendrils curled about her ears and forehead. Her flawless peaches-and-cream complexion complemented her dark fiery hair and her cool, storm-cloud gray eyes.

His gaze traveled to her lips and lingered. Her mouth, devoid of lipstick, was full and slightly swollen from his kiss. He wanted to kiss her again. Wanted to pull her into his arms. Wanted to strip her naked and make mad, passionate love to her.

Burke shut his eyes, hoping that by blotting out Callie’s pretty face and luscious body, he could control his desire for her. She’s just a lovely lady, like so many others, he told himself. There’s nothing special about her.

Ah, but that wasn’t true. There was something special about Callie. He couldn’t explain what it was about her that made her unique, different from the other women he’d known.

But there had been one other woman—a woman he could barely remember—who haunted his dreams. A faceless memory. A soft voice. A sweet body. And a scent of flowers. His mind alternated between wanting to remember and trying to forget.

“Mr. Lonigan…Burke?”

His eyelids opened to reveal his brilliant blue eyes. Callie sucked in a deep breath. How was it possible that one night with this man had spoiled her for any other man? She compared every male that entered her life with the indomitable Burke Lonigan, a man of strength and courage and an unconquerable spirit. An expert lover. Passionate. Considerate. Powerful.

“If you keep looking at me that way, I’ll have no choice but to kiss you again,” he said.

“Oh, I—I didn’t realize…I’m sorry that—” She averted her gaze.

Tucking his fist under her chin, he lifted her face so that her gaze met his. “We have a problem, don’t we, Callie?”

“Yes, sir, we do.”

He caressed her cheek with his fingertips, then withdrew his hand. “I’ve never become involved with an employee. Keeping my business life and my personal life separate has been a cardinal rule. One that I’ve never broken. Until you.”

Callie’s mouth rounded on a silent sigh. “I was engaged to my boss and the relationship turned out badly. I swore I wouldn’t become involved with my employer ever again. And I haven’t. Not until… What are we going to do about this?”

Burke wondered if her former employer was the father of her child. Had her boss been a married man as his own father had been? Had he refused to acknowledge his son as Burke’s father had done?

“I’m not sure how we proceed,” Burke admitted. “I’ve never been in this position before, so I have no frame of reference. But I do know one thing—I want us to become lovers.”

Callie gasped audibly. “You do?”

“Yes, I do. And unless I miss my guess, you want the same thing, don’t you?”

Tell him that he’s wrong, that you do not want to have an affair, her inner voice cautioned. “I know your reputation with women, Mr.—er, Burke. You’ve had countless affairs. The women in your life are all very beautiful and rich and sophisticated. You’ve dated countesses and models and movie stars and—”

“And not one of them was as tempting as you are.”

The heat of his stare warmed Callie to her bones. His desire was so strong that it vibrated with energy and curled about her like an invisible band.

“If—and I’m saying if—we become lovers and the affair ends, what then?” she asked. “There’s no way I could continue working for you, seeing you every day and knowing you were dating other women.”

“I realize an affair would be a complication in your life and in mine.” Burke shrugged. “I suppose we have to decide which is more important to us—continuing our working relationship or becoming lovers. I risk losing the best PA I’ve ever had.”

“I need this job,” she told him. “I have a child to support, and positions like the one I have here at Lonigan’s Imports and Exports aren’t easy to come by, you know.”

“If, when our affair ends, you choose not to remain with Lonigan’s, then I’ll make sure you find a job with equal pay and benefits.”

“Mm.”

“Callie, I never make promises that I can’t keep,” he said. “And who knows, by the time we grow tired of each other, we might find that we’re perfectly capable of being only friends.”

“Is that how all your affairs end?” she asked. “You and the lady become only friends?”

“Are you saying that you haven’t remained friends with your ex-lovers?” Burke grinned broadly.

“I’m afraid my experience doesn’t equal yours. I’ve had two lovers. My former fiancé, who is definitely not a friend, and my son’s father.”

“I don’t mean to pry into your personal life, but I’ve wondered about your child’s father. Does he take any responsibility for his son? Does he give you any type of financial support?”

Okay, you asked for this, Callie thought. You deliberately put yourself in this position. So what are you going to do now? Lie?

“No. He—he doesn’t. But I’ve never asked anything of him. I’m afraid it’s an awkward situation and I don’t know how to—”

“Is he married?”

“Mercy, no! I’d never become involved with a married man.”

“Then if he isn’t married, why haven’t you demanded that he take responsibility for his son? No man should father a child and then abandon him.”

Callie understood Burke’s vehement reaction because she knew his history with his biological father. Burke Lonigan was the type of man who would take responsibility. But she had never given him the opportunity. Dear God, how would he feel and what would he think of her when she told him. No, not when, if. If she told him.

“I’m not sure that my son’s father is someone I want to be a part of his life. I’m uncertain about his ability to be a suitable father.”

“You didn’t tell this man about his child?” Burke’s eyes narrowed into slits, his expression accusatory.

“As I said before, it’s an awkward situation and rather complicated. I’d prefer not to discuss it anymore.”

Burke grasped her shoulder. “Is this man the reason you’re reluctant to have an affair with me? Did you love him? Did he hurt you terribly?”

How could she answer his questions? she wondered. Not with the complete truth. With lies, perhaps. Or maybe with half-truths. She wasn’t ready to be totally honest with Burke Lonigan. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

“I can’t talk about this with you.”

Burke glared at her speculatively. “Are you still in love with your child’s father? Is that the problem? You’re sexually attracted to me, but you love another man?”

Callie couldn’t restrain the bubble of laughter that formed in her throat and escaped from her lips. “I’m sorry.”

“What’s so funny?” he asked. “I fail to find any humor in what I asked you.”

“Do you always find it so difficult to accept a refusal from a woman? Do you always cross-examine her and try to find hidden motives for her rejection?”

“A refusal?” His eyebrows lifted in mock surprise. “I don’t think I heard you refuse.”

“Burke, I like you. I like working with you. And yes, I’m very attracted to you. But I can’t just have an affair with you. I’m not, as my father would say, footloose and fancy-free. I’m a mother and my first responsibility is to my child.”

“Then you’re saying that you don’t want us to become lovers?”

We’ve already been lovers, she wanted to shout. For one glorious, wildly passionate night, we were lovers. “I’m saying that I do not want to rush into a relationship that might end up hurting me and creating problems in my life.”

“Fair enough,” he said. “You take all the time you need, but you won’t fault me if I do everything in my power to persuade you.”

“You really don’t know how to take no for an answer, do you? What have you done in the past when a lady refused you?”

With a cocky grin, Burke shrugged. “It’s never happened. Would you believe me if I told you that you’re the first?”

Callie’s giggle turned into amused laughter. She nodded. “Yes, I’d believe you. You’re quite an irresistible man.”

He tugged her against him. With his lips only a hairbreadth away from hers, he said, “But you’re resisting me and you know that I find that resistance challenging. You want me to work for my reward, don’t you? That’s what this is all about.”

Callie pulled away from him, walked past him and halted at the door. “Maybe you’re right. The worthwhile things in life are usually more difficult to acquire.”

When Callie opened the door, Burke called after her, “Wait!”

She glanced over her shoulder. “Yes?”

“This isn’t over. Not by a long shot.”

After a short walk from the High Street Kensington subway station, Callie rummaged in the side pocket of her shoulder bag to find her key. Her home was located on a quiet street with little traffic. After Seamus was born, Enid had insisted that they needed a larger place to live and had promptly acquired a three-bedroom town house in central London. Callie wasn’t sure what she would have done without her cousin, who was not only her dearest friend, but also Seamus’s godmother. During the months she hadn’t worked after Seamus’s birth, Enid had generously supported them.

“What’s the good of having a sizable trust fund if I can’t spend it on something as worthwhile as a new mother and her baby?” Enid had asked.

Just as Callie started to unlock the latch, the door swung open. Enid stood there with a screaming Seamus on her hip.

“Thank God, you didn’t work late tonight.” Enid thrust Seamus into Callie’s arms. “He must be teething or something. He’s been wailing like that for half an hour. I rubbed that nasty-tasting gel on his gums, but that didn’t seem to help.”

“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” Callie dropped her bag onto the floor in the living room, which, along with the dining room and kitchen, comprised the ground floor of the three-story house. “Have you been a bad boy for Aunt Enid?”

“Oh, he’s never a bad boy,” Enid said. “He’s just very loud when he’s in a bad mood.”

Holding Seamus on her hip, Callie eased one arm through the sleeve of her coat, switched her baby to the other hip and finished removing it. After draping the tan wool coat on the back of the sofa, she sat in the rocking chair by the door that opened onto the courtyard their home shared with four other houses. A fish pond and fountain decorated the terrace.

As Callie rocked, talking nonsensical words to Seamus, he quieted and cuddled against her. She smoothed the damp strands of his curly black hair, as silky and dark as his father’s. When he gazed at her with Burke’s brilliant blue eyes and said, “Hi, Mama,” she kissed both of his cheeks and hugged him to her.

“I fed Seamus about an hour ago,” Enid said. “He seemed hungry and ate quite well.”

“Thank you.” Callie glanced at her cousin and realized she was dressed for the evening. “Are you going out?”

“Some of us are going on a pub crawl,” Enid said. “We’re meeting at Riki Tik in about an hour. If the night turns out as I hope, I won’t be home till morning.” Enid’s little-girl giggle was in direct contrast to her very adult body. “Some night you should ask Mrs. Goodhope to stay so you can go with us. It’s time you—”

“Burke asked me to have an affair with him.”

“What!”

“Today. He kissed me, told me that he wanted us to become lovers and—”

“Did he say that he remembers you?” With her eyes wide and her hands waving excitedly, Enid rushed toward Callie. “Does he or does he not admit that he remembers the night you two first met?”

Callie shook her head. “He doesn’t remember. And I’ve told you that I truly believe he has no recollection of it. For some reason he has blotted out that night. Maybe because of the association with his father’s death. Or maybe because he allowed a woman to see him weak and vulnerable.”

“I have my doubts about his convenient loss of memory,” Enid said. “If he was so plastered that he has no memory of that night, I don’t see how he was able to perform. Heavy drinking usually leaves a man not fully charged.”

“Maybe other men.”

“Oh, please! You act as if no man on earth could compare to Burke Lonigan as a lover.” Enid huffed. “And what did you have to compare him to anyway? Laurence Wynthrope! That nancy boy!”

“Laurence might not have been the most masculine man in the world, but he wasn’t—”

“Admit it—he was a lousy lover and a real bastard. But at least he didn’t leave you pregnant. Which is exactly what Burke Lonigan did.”

Seamus let out a loud yelp. Callie soothed him with a few silly words that soon had him laughing. She cast a sharp glance at her cousin.

“We’ve discussed this a hundred times and I’ve told you repeatedly that what happened wasn’t Burke’s fault. It was mine. I was sober and—”

“So tell the man what he doesn’t remember and introduce him to his son.”

“I can’t do that. Not yet.”

“Oh, dear. Do you really think those rumors about him being an illegal arms dealer are true?” Enid asked.

“I have no proof one way or the other, but if Burke is a criminal, then how can I allow him to become a part of Seamus’s life?”

“So, what did you say to him when he told you that he wanted to be your lover?”

“I said that I wasn’t ready for an affair.”

“And he accepted your refusal?”

“He accepted the fact that getting me into bed won’t be as easy as he’d hoped it would be.”

“At least not this time,” Enid said smugly.

Burke poured himself a snifter of brandy, then sat in the leather wing chair in front of the roaring fire in the living room. He had lived the good life for many years now, enjoying the trappings of wealth, privilege and power afforded him by his disguise as a legitimate businessman.

Recently Burke had begun to wonder if this was all there would ever be to his life. He was forty-two, no longer a young buck eager for danger and excitement. Occasionally the thought of retiring crossed his mind, but then he’d ask himself a critical question. Retire and do what? He had become a SPEAR agent shortly after college graduation and had never once regretted that decision. So why was he suddenly so disillusioned by it all?

Because he was getting old? Because he didn’t want to wake up at fifty and still be alone? There were at least a dozen suitable women who would gladly become Mrs. Lonigan. But not a one of those lovely ladies was the woman with whom he wanted to spend the rest of his life.

What about Callie Severin? an inner voice asked.

“Yes, what about Callie Severin?” he repeated.

The chemistry between them was undeniable. Every time they were together, sparks ignited. And the fact that she was being coy with him, making him wait for her favors, made him want her all the more. But was her reluctance genuine or just a game she played to whet his appetite? If he made love to her, would that satisfy him?

Burke swirled the brandy in the glass, then lifted it to his lips and sipped the aged liquor. He closed his eyes and relaxed. Unbidden memories floated through his mind. A faceless woman. The musty scent of two bodies mating mingled with the heady scent of flowers. A lush, loving body lying beneath him. A sweet, soft voice whispering his name.

He became aroused. For nearly two years she had haunted him. He had tried—unsuccessfully—to forget her and their time together. He’d been a complete mess that night. Plastered. Self-pitying. Pathetic. And desperately in need of comfort.

She had comforted him. Loved him selflessly. Given herself to him with abandon. He could remember the feel of her, the scent of her and even the taste of her. But his mind refused to remember her face. Or her name, if he’d ever known her name.

He had never been as weak and vulnerable, as completely at the mercy of another human being as he had with her. He hated the thought that he’d opened himself up and put himself at risk with a stranger, a woman who could have easily ripped his tattered emotions to shreds. He had allowed her to see his weakness, to view the hurt and angry little boy inside him.

Somewhere out there was a woman who knew him inside and out. Every inch of his body. Every beat of his heart. Down to the very depths of his soul.

She had touched something within him and he within her. Two strangers giving solace. A man and a woman who had sought only physical union and had somehow connected on a deeper level.

Did he love this woman whose face he couldn’t remember? Whose memory was a beautiful, faded blur? He didn’t know. Wasn’t sure. He doubted he could even begin to put into words the way he felt about her. But what did it matter? She had vanished from his life as quickly as she had entered it. And since that night, loneliness akin to none he’d ever known had been an integral part of his life.

His loneliness had nothing to do with being alone. He could easily surround himself with people and fill his empty bed with his pick of eager women. And he had, on occasion. But the loneliness remained. He wanted that gut-wrenching desolation to come to an end. And he thought Callie Severin might well be the woman to accomplish that deed. He knew one thing for certain—she was the only other woman who had ever tempted him beyond reason.