Читать книгу The Protectors - Beverly Barton - Страница 11

Charlie Blaylock had been a friend of her father and Deborah suspected he’d always had a soft spot in his heart for her mother. He asked about Carol every time he ran into Deborah, and his concern certainly seemed a bit more than neighborly.

Deborah tried to relax as she sat in Charlie’s office listening to him explain the details of the Lon Sparks case to Ashe, and exactly what he could and could not do to protect Deborah against Buck Stansell and his bunch of outlaws.

“When Carol asked my advice about hiring a private bodyguard for Deborah, I was all for it.” Charlie gazed out the window that overlooked the parking area. He moved with a slow, easy stride, all six feet five inches, three hundred pounds of him. “We don’t have a smidgen of proof that Buck and his boys are involved in the threats Deborah’s been receiving. If we had any proof, we could make a move to stop them. But even if we caught the guy who’s making the phone calls, Buck would just have somebody else take up where he left off.”

“I’m planning on paying a visit to Lee Roy and Johnny Joe.” Ashe stood, walked across the room, and stopped at Charlie’s side. “I want you to have one of your men stay with Deborah while I drop in on my cousins.”

Charlie lifted his eyebrows. “When were you planning on visiting the Brennan brothers?”

“Tomorrow. Bright and early.”

“I’ve tried to tell Ashe that I’ve survived for a couple of weeks now without his constant protection.” Deborah squirmed around in the uncomfortable straight-back chair in which she sat. “I’ll be perfectly all right at the office for a couple of hours.”

“I’ll have somebody stop by the house around seven in the morning and stay with Deborah until you finish your business and get back to Sheffield.” Charlie laid his big hand on Ashe’s shoulder, gripping him firmly. “I was surprised when Carol told me she was hiring you. Last I’d heard, you were still in the army. The Green Berets, wasn’t it?”

“I left over a year ago.” Ashe looked down at Charlie’s hand resting on his shoulder, all friendly like.

Ashe figured Charlie Blaylock knew exactly what his old friend, Wallace Vaughn, had done to him eleven years ago. Although Charlie had been sheriff even then, Wallace had brought the district attorney with him when he’d had his little talk with Ashe. And Sheffield’s chief of police had been waiting right outside the door, waiting to arrest Ashe if he hadn’t agreed to leave town and never return. But Charlie would have known what Wallace had been up to, perhaps had even given him a little advice on how to get rid of that white trash boy who had dared to violate Wallace’s precious daughter.

Charlie gave Ashe’s shoulder another tight squeeze, then released him. “Carol wants you here. She’s convinced herself that nobody else can protect Deborah. I’ll do everything I can to cooperate with you.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Removing the most recent threatening letter from his coat pocket, Ashe dropped it on Charlie’s desk. “You might want to have this examined, but I’d say it’s clean.”

“Another one?” Charlie asked. “This has become a daily occurrence, hasn’t it?”

“I expect you’ll notify the big boys, keep them informed on every detail. Let them know that I’ve arrived, if you haven’t already called them.” Walking across the room, Ashe held out his hand to Deborah. “Let’s go get a bite of lunch.”

Deborah started to take his hand, then hesitated when Charlie spoke.

“What makes you think anybody else is involved in this case?” Charlie picked up the envelope from his desk, glancing at it casually as he turned it over.

“Buck Stansell has the drug market cornered in this county. And if Corey Looney’s death was drug related, the DEA is already unofficially involved.” Ashe dropped the hand he’d been holding out to Deborah.

She glanced back and forth from Charlie’s flushed face to Ashe’s cynical smile. The big boys? The DEA? No one had told her that Corey Looney had been executed because of a drug deal.

“What are y’all—” Deborah began.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Charlie laid the envelope on his desk, rested his hand on the back of his plush leather chair and looked Ashe straight in the eye.

“My boss is a former agent,” Ashe said. “All Sam Dundee had to do was make a phone call. I know everything you know, Blaylock. Everything.”

“Stop it, both of you!” Deborah jumped up, slammed her hands down on her hips and took a deep breath. “I have no idea what y’all are talking about, but I’m tired of you acting as if I’m not in the room. I’m the person whose life is in danger. I’m the one who should know everything!”

Ashe grabbed her by the elbow, forcing her into action as he practically dragged her out of Charlie’s office. “I’ll tell you whatever you need to know at lunch.”

“Whatever I need to know!” She dug in her heels in the hallway.

Ashe gave her a hard tug. She fell against him and he slipped his arm around her. “It’s a beautiful fall day. Let’s pick up something and take it down to Spring Park for a picnic.”

Deborah jerked away from him. She couldn’t bear being this close to him. Despite their past history, she could not deny the way Ashe made her feel—the way no other man had ever made her feel.

“What was all that between you and Charlie?” Deborah stood her ground, refusing to budge an inch, her blue eyes riveted to Ashe’s unemotional face. “For a minute there I thought he wanted to take a punch at you.”

Ashe glanced around the corridor, listening to the sound of voices from the adjoining offices. “This isn’t the time or the place.”

“Just tell me this, is the DEA involved in this case?”

“Unofficially.” Ashe grabbed her by the arm again. “Come on. We’ll get lunch, go to the park and talk.”

“All right.” She followed his lead, outside and into the parking lot.

She didn’t resist his manhandling, macho jerk that he was. Ashe’s brutally masculine qualities had fascinated her as a teenager. Now they irritated and annoyed her. Yet she had to admit, if she was totally honest with herself, that she couldn’t imagine any other bodyguard with whom she’d feel more secure.

There was a strength in Ashe that went beyond the normal male quality. It had been there, of course, years ago, but she recognized it now for what it was. Primitive strength that came from the core of his masculinity, the ancient need to beat his chest and cry out a warning to all other males.

Deborah shivered. Everything male in Ashe called to all that was female within her. If he claimed her, as he once had done, would she be able to reject him? A need to be possessed, protected and cherished coursed through her veins like liquid fire, heating her thoughts, warming her femininity.

When he opened the passenger door of his rental car and assisted her inside, she glanced up at him. Her heartbeat roared in her ears. Ashe hesitated just a fraction of a second. He looked at her lips. She resisted the urge to lick them.

“Where’s a good place to get take-out close by?” He shut the door, walked around the hood of the car and got in on the driver’s side.

“Stephano’s on Sixth Street has good food.” She clutched her leather bag to her stomach. “It’s on the left side of the street, so you may want to turn off on Fifth and make the block.”

When she returned home this evening, she’d tell her mother that this wasn’t going to work, having Ashe as her bodyguard. Even if he kept her safe from Buck Stansell, another few weeks of being near Ashe would drive her insane.

Ashe picked up a couple of meatball subs, colas and slices of sinfully rich cheesecake. Gazing down into the bag, Deborah shook her head.

“This is too much food. I can’t eat all of this. I have to watch my…” She left the sentence unfinished. She’d been about to tell Ashe McLaughlin that she had to watch her weight. Of course she had no need to tell him; he could well remember what a plump teenager she’d been.

“Splurging one day won’t spoil that knockout figure of yours.” Ashe kept his gaze focused on the road as he turned the car downward, off Sixth Street, and into the park area beneath the hill.

He thought she had a knockout figure? Was that the reason he couldn’t seem to take his eyes off her all morning? Why he watched every move she made at the office? The thought of Ashe approving of her figure sent pinpricks of excitement rushing through her. Idiot! She chastised herself. You shouldn’t care what he thinks. You shouldn’t care what any man thinks, least of all Ashe. He didn’t want you when you were a plump teenager, and you don’t want him now. So there.

Liar! Good or bad. Right or wrong. You still want Ashe McLaughlin. You’ve never wanted anyone else.

“Is there a woman in your life back in Atlanta?” She heard herself ask, then damned herself for being such a fool. How could she have asked him such a question?

Ashe parked the car in the shade, opened his door and turned to take their lunch bag from Deborah. “No one special,” Ashe said. “Women come and go, but there’s been no one special in my life since I left Sheffield eleven years ago.”

Whitney, Deborah thought. Her cousin had been the only special woman in Ashe’s life. Jealousy and pity combined to create a rather disturbing emotion within Deborah. Both feelings constituted an admission that she still cared about Ashe.

And she didn’t want to care. God in heaven, she didn’t dare care. He had taken her innocence, broken her heart and left her pregnant. What woman in her right mind would give a man like that a second chance?

But then, Ashe hadn’t said or done anything to indicate he wanted a second chance.

“This place hasn’t changed much, has it?” Ashe looked around Spring Park, a small area of trees, playground equipment and picnic tables surrounding a small lake fed by an ancient underground spring.

“It’s a bit lonely this time of day and this late in the season. Most of the activity takes place over there—” Deborah pointed to the south of the park “—at the golf course.”

Ashe chose a secluded table on the west side of the park, near a cove of hedge apple trees, their bare branches dotted with mistletoe. The spring’s flow meandered around behind them on a leisurely journey toward Spring Creek. Laying down the paper sack, Ashe removed the white napkins and spread out their lunch. He handed Deborah a cup and straw. She avoided touching his hand when she accepted the offering.

“Are you afraid of me?” he asked, swinging his long legs under the picnic table.

Deborah sat across from him, gripping the plastic container of food as she placed the cola on the concrete table. “Why should I be afraid of you? You’re here to protect me, aren’t you?”

“I wasn’t asking if you were afraid that I might physically harm you. We both know that’s ridiculous. I’m asking why your hands tremble whenever you think I might touch you. And why you have a difficult time looking directly at me. Your eyes give you away, honey.”

She undid the plastic covering her meatball sandwich. “I feel awkward around you, Ashe. I guess I’m just not as sophisticated as the women you’re accustomed to these days. Maybe what happened between us in the past didn’t affect your life the way it did mine.”

No, Ashe didn’t suppose what had happened between them had affected his life the way it had hers. She had gone on as if nothing had happened, secure in her family’s love and support and Wallace Vaughn’s money. Maybe she’d suffered a broken heart for a while until she’d found another boyfriend. But he had paid a high price for their night of passion. He had lost his dream. His big plans of becoming one of the area’s movers and shakers had turned sour.

“You don’t look like you’ve fared too badly.” Ashe surveyed her from the top of her golden blond hair, all neatly secured in a fashionable bun at the nape of her neck, to the length of shapely legs partially hidden beneath the picnic table. “You’re successful, beautiful and rich.”

Did he actually have no idea what he’d done to her? Of course he didn’t know about the child they had created together, but how could he have forgotten his adamant rejection, his cruel words of regret, his deliberate avoidance of her in the days and weeks following their lovemaking?

“Whenever we’re together, I can’t seem to stop thinking about…I suppose it’s true what they say about a woman never forgetting her first lover.”

Her words hit him like a hard blow to the stomach. He sucked in air. Why did she sound so innocent, so vulnerable? After all this time, why did the memories of that night haunt him? Why did the thought of a young girl’s passionate cries still echo in his mind? “And a guy never forgets what its like to take a virgin, to be her first. I never meant for it to happen. One minute you were comforting me and the next minute—”

“You don’t have to tell me again that you wished it hadn’t happened, that you regretted making love to me the minute it was over. You made that perfectly clear eleven years ago! Do you think I don’t know that you were pretending I was Whitney all the while you were…”

Deborah lifted her legs, swung them around and off the concrete bench and jumped up, turning her back to Ashe. The quivering inside her stomach escalated so quickly it turned to nausea.

Dammit! Is that what she actually thought? That he had pretended she was Whitney? Yes, he’d thought he was in love with Whitney, but the minute she announced her engagement to George Jamison III, there at the country club where he worked, he’d begun to doubt his love. And when she had laughed in his face and told him he’d been a fool to think she’d ever marry a loser like him, all the love inside him had died. Murdered by her cruelty.

Ashe got up and walked over to Deborah. He wanted to touch her, to put his arms around her and draw her close. She stood there, her shoulders trembling, her neck arched, her head tilted upward. Was she crying? He couldn’t bear it if she was crying.

“Deborah?”

She couldn’t speak; unshed tears clogged her throat. Shaking her head, she waved her hands at her sides, telling him to leave her alone.

“I did not pretend you were Whitney.” He reached out to touch her, but didn’t. He dropped his hand to his side. “I might’ve had a few drinks to dull the pain that night, but I knew who you were and I knew what I was doing.”

“You were—” she gasped for air “—using me.”

How could he deny the truth? He had used her. Used her to forget another woman’s heartless rejection. Used her to salve his bruised male ego. Used her because she’d been there at his side, offering her comfort, her love, her adoration.

“Yeah, you’re right. I used you. And that’s what I regretted. I regretted taking advantage of you, of stealing your innocence. But I didn’t regret the loving.”

The unshed tears nearly choked her. The pain of remembrance clutched her heart. He didn’t regret the loving? Was that what he’d just said?

He grabbed her shoulders in a gentle but firm hold. She tensed, every nerve in her body coming to full alert. She couldn’t bear for him to touch her, yet couldn’t bring herself to pull away.

“I told you I was sorry for what happened, that I regretted what I’d done.” Ashe couldn’t see Deborah’s face; she kept her back to him. But in his mind’s eye he could see plainly her face eleven years ago. There in the moonlight by the river, her face aglow with the discovery of sexual pleasure and girlish love, she had crumpled before his very eyes when he’d begged her to forgive him, told her that what happened had been a mistake. She had cried, but when he’d tried to comfort her, she had lashed out at him like a wildcat. He’d found himself wanting her all over again, and hating himself for his feelings.

“I’ve never felt so worthless in my life as I did that night.” Deborah balled her hands into fists. She wanted to hit Ashe, to vent all the old bitterness and frustration. She wanted to scream at him, to tell him that he’d left her pregnant and she hated him for not caring, for never being concerned about her welfare or the child he had given her.

He turned her around slowly, the stiffness in her body unyielding. She faced him, her chin lifted high, her eyes bright and glazed with a fine sheen of moisture.

“When I took you, I knew it was you. Do you understand? I wanted you. Not Whitney. Not any other woman.”

“But you said…you said—”

“I said it shouldn’t have happened. It shouldn’t have. I didn’t love you, not like I should have. I couldn’t offer you marriage. What I did was wrong.”

She quivered from head to toe, clinching her jaws tightly, trying desperately not to cry. She glared at him, her blue eyes accusing him.

Dear God, he had hurt her more than he’d ever known. After all these years, she hadn’t let go of the pain. Was that why she’d gone to her father? Is that why she’d accused him of raping her? Or had she accused him? Was it possible that the rape charges had been Wallace’s idea? The thought had crossed his mind more than once in the past eleven years.

“Neither of us can change the past,” he said. “We can’t go back and make things right. But I want you to know how it really was with me. With us.”

“It doesn’t matter. Not any more.” She tried to pull away from him; he held her tight.

“Yes, it does matter. It matters to me and it matters to you.”

“I wish Mother had never brought you back.” Deborah closed her eyes against the sight of Ashe McLaughlin, his big hands clasping her possessively.

“She’s doomed us both to hell, hasn’t she?” Ashe jerked Deborah into his arms, crushing her against him. “I would have made love to you a second time that night and a third and fourth. I wanted you that much. Do you understand? I never wanted anything as much as I wanted you that night. Not Whitney. Not my college degree. Not being successful enough to thumb my nose at Sheffield’s elite.”

Her breathing quickened. Her heart raced wildly. She wanted to run. She wanted to throw her arms around Ashe. She wanted to plead with him to stop saying such outrageous things. She wanted him to go on telling her how much he’d wanted her, to tell her over and over again.

“Why…why didn’t you tell me? That night? All you kept saying was that you were sorry.” Deborah leaned into him, unable to resist the magnetic pull of his big body.

“You wanted me to tell you I loved you. I couldn’t lie to you, Deborah. I’d just learned that night that I didn’t know a damned thing about love.”

“Ashe?”

He covered her lips with his own. She clung to him, returning his kiss with all the pent-up passion within her. The taste of her was like a heady wine, quickly going to his head. It had been that way eleven years ago. The very touch of Deborah Vaughn intoxicated him.

He thrust his tongue into her mouth, gripped the back of her head with one hand and slipped the other downward to caress her hip. He grew hard, his need pulsing against her. She wriggled in his arms, trying to get closer. Their tongues mated in a wet, daring dance. A prelude to further intimacy.

When they broke the kiss to breathe, Ashe dropped his hand to her neck, circling the back with his palm. His moist lips sought and found every sweet, delicious inch of her face.

Deborah flung her head back, exposing her neck as she clung to him, heat rising within her, setting her aflame. Ashe delved his tongue into the V of her blouse, nuzzling her tender flesh with his nose. Reaching between them, he undid the first button, then the second, his lips following the path of his fingers.

A loud blast rent the still autumn air. Ashe knocked Deborah to the ground, covering her body with his as he drew his 9mm out of his shoulder holster.

“Keep down, honey. Don’t move.”

“Ashe? What happened? Did—did someone shoot at us?” She slipped her arms around his waist.

Lifting his head, Ashe glanced around and saw nothing but an old red truck rounding the curve of the road, a trail of exhaust smoke billowing from beneath the bed. He let out a sigh of relief, but didn’t move from his position above Deborah. He waited. Listening. Looking in every direction, lifting himself on one elbow to check behind them.

“Ashe, please—”

“It’s all right.” After returning his gun to its holster, he lowered himself over her, partially supporting his weight with his elbows braced on the ground. “I’m pretty sure the noise was just a truck backfiring.”

“Oh.” She sighed, then looked up into Ashe’s softening hazel eyes. Eyes that only a moment before had been clear and trained on their surroundings. Now he was gazing down at her with the same undisguised passion she’d seen in them when he had unbuttoned her blouse.

Her diamond hard nipples grazed his chest. His arousal pressed against her. She needed Ashe. Needed his mouth on her body. Needed him buried deep inside her. Needed to hear him say that he wanted her more than he’d ever wanted anything or anyone.

“It’s safe for us to get up now, isn’t it?” She heard her own breathless voice and knew Ashe would realize how needy she was.

“I don’t think it’s safe for us anywhere, honey. We’re in danger from each other here on the ground or standing up.”

When he lowered his mouth, brushing her lips with his, she turned her head to the side. But she still held him around the waist, her fingers biting into his broad back.

“Eleven years ago, you weren’t much more than a girl. What you felt was puppy love. And I was a confused young man who didn’t have the foggiest idea what love was all about. But I was older and more experienced. I take the blame for everything.” Ashe kissed her cheek, then drew a damp line across to her ear. “We’re both all grown up now. Whatever happens between us, happens between equals. No regrets on either side. No apologies. I want you. And you want me.”

She shook her head, needing to deny the truth. If she admitted she wanted him, she would be lost. If they came together again, for him it would be sex, but for her it would be love. Just like last time. She couldn’t have an affair with Ashe and just let him walk out of her life after the trial. She couldn’t give herself to him and risk having her heart broken all over again.

“Please, let me get up, Ashe. I’m not ready for this.” She shoved against his chest. He remained on top of her, unmoving, his eyes seeking the truth of her words.

Nodding his head, he lifted himself up and off her, then held out his hand. She accepted his offer of assistance, taking his hand and allowing him to pull her to her feet. She brushed the blades of grass and crushed leaves from her dress, redid the open buttons and straightened the loose strands of her hair.

“I need to get back to work,” she said, not looking directly at him. “Let’s take this food back to the office with us. We’ll be safer there. We won’t be alone.”

Without a word, Ashe gathered up their sandwiches, returning them to the paper bag. She was right. They’d both be a lot safer if they weren’t alone. He intended to do everything in his power to protect Deborah, to make sure no harm came to her. But could he protect her from what they felt for each other? From the power of a desire too powerful to resist?

Later that day Ashe stood in the doorway of Allen’s room watching Deborah help the boy with his homework. She played the part of his mother convincingly. He wondered how long she had substituted for Miss Carol. Ever since illness had sapped Miss Carol’s strength and she lived in constant fear the cancer would return?

No one seeing Deborah and Allen together could deny the bond between sister and brother. Her whole life seemed to revolve around the boy, and he so obviously adored her.

While Allen struggled with the grammar assignment, he eased his right hand down to stroke Huckleberry’s thick, healthy coat.

“Remember, Allen, it’s rise, rose, risen,” Deborah said. “Do this one again.”

Nibbling on the tip of his pencil eraser, Allen studied the sentence before him. “Hmm-hmm.”

Ashe remembered how Deborah had struggled with algebra. When he had tutored her, downstairs at the kitchen table, she’d sat there nibbling on her eraser, a perplexed look on her face identical to Allen’s. Ashe had been the one who’d had trouble with grammar, and Deborah had helped him write more than one term paper.

Gripping his pencil in his left hand, Allen scribbled the sentence across the sheet of notebook paper, then looked up at Deborah. “Is that right?”

Checking his work, she smiled. “Yes, it’s right. Now go on to the next one.” She glanced up and saw Ashe. Her smile vanished. Standing, she moved her chair from Allen’s right side to his left, shielding him from Ashe’s view.

Why had she moved? he wondered. It was as if she were protecting Allen. But from what? Surely not from him.

Ashe walked into the room. Huckleberry lifted his head from the floor, gave Ashe a quick glance, recognized him as no threat and laid his head back down, his body pressed against Allen’s foot.

“Hey, Ashe.” Allen looked up from his homework paper. “I’m almost finished here, then we can play a video game on the computer.”

“Maybe Ashe doesn’t want to play,” Deborah said, standing up, placing her body between Ashe and her brother. “We’ve had a long day. Maybe he wants to read or watch TV alone for a while.”

“I’m alone all the time in my apartment in Atlanta,” Ashe said. “I like being part of a family. Allen and I are pals. I think we enjoy doing a lot of the same things.”

“Oh. I see.” Did he spend all his time in his Atlanta apartment alone? She doubted it. A man like Ashe wouldn’t be long without a woman. She pictured the entrance to his apartment. The thought of a revolving door flashed through her mind.

“Your sister used to have a problem with algebra,” Ashe said, walking around Deborah to sit down in the chair she had vacated. “English grammar seems to be your downfall just like it was mine. I guess guys have a difficult time choosing the right words, huh?” Ashe glanced up at Deborah, who glared down at him.

“I don’t have to sweat making good grades in anything except this.” Allen punched his paper with the tip of his pencil. “I’ve got three more sentences to go, then watch out, Indiana Jones!”

Allen leaned over his desk, reading from his book. He jotted down the sentence, choosing the correct verb tense. Ashe watched the way his untutored handwriting spread across the page, like so much hen scratch. The boy’s penmanship was no better than his own. Another shortcoming a lot of guys had in common.

Ashe noticed a crossword puzzle book lying on the edge of the desk. He loved working the really tough ones, the ones that often stumped him and stimulated his mind. He’d been a dud at English grammar, but he was a whiz at figuring out puzzles, even word puzzles.

Ashe picked up the book. “Have you got an extra pencil?”

Allen opened his desk drawer, retrieved a freshly sharpened number two and handed it to Ashe. “You like crossword puzzles, too?”

“Love ’em.” Taking the pencil and sticking it behind his ear, Ashe opened the book, found the most complicated puzzle and studied it.

He felt Deborah watching him. What the hell was the matter with her? “Are you planning on hanging around and cheering us on while we play Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade?”

“No. I just want to make sure Allen finishes his homework.”

“I’ll make sure he does. Go wash out your lingerie or something. Read a good book. Call your boyfriend.” Ashe’s expression didn’t alter as he named off a list of alternatives to standing guard over her brother.

“I told you Deborah doesn’t have a boyfriend. She won’t give any guy the time of day.” Allen never looked up from his paper.

Ashe glanced down at the puzzle. “What’s another word for old maid?”

Allen smothered his laughter behind his hand, sneaking a peek at Deborah out of the corner of his eye.

“Try the word smart,” Deborah said. “As in any smart woman dies an old maid, without having to put up with a man trying to run her life.”

“Spinster.” Ashe acted as if he hadn’t heard Deborah’s outburst. Jerking the pencil from behind his ear, he printed the letters into the appropriate boxes.

“Hey, you’re left-handed just like me,” Allen said, his face bursting into a smile.

Deborah’s heart sank. No. She mustn’t panic. A lot of people were left-handed. There was no reason for Ashe to make the connection.

“We seem to have a lot in common.” Ashe couldn’t explain the rush of emotion that hit him. Like a surge of adrenaline warning him against something he couldn’t see or hear, touch, taste or feel. Something he should know, but didn’t. And that sense of the unknown centered around Allen Vaughn. Ashe found himself drawn to the boy, in a way similar yet different from the way he’d been drawn to Deborah when they’d been growing up together.

“Ashe, I…We need to talk,” Deborah said.

He glanced up at her. Her face was pale. “Can’t it wait until later? Allen and I are looking forward to our game.”

“This won’t take long.” She nodded toward the hallway.

He laid down the puzzle book and pencil, stood up and patted Allen on the back. “You finish your homework while I see what Deborah wants that’s so important it can’t wait.”

“Hurry,” Allen said. “I’m almost through.”

Deborah led Ashe out into the hallway, closing Allen’s bedroom door behind him. “Please don’t let Allen become too fond of you. He’s at an age where he wants a man around, and he seems to idolize you. He thinks you’re something special.”

“So what’s the problem?” Ashe asked. “I like Allen. I enjoy spending time with him. Do you think I’m a bad influence on him?”

“No, that isn’t it.”

“Then what is it?”

“If you two become close—too close—it’ll break his heart when you leave Sheffield. He’s just a little boy. I don’t want to see him hurt.”

Ashe pinched her chin between his thumb and forefinger, tilting her downcast eyes upward, making her look directly at him. “Who are you afraid will get too close to me? Who are you afraid will be brokenhearted when I leave? Who, Deborah? You or Allen?”

She hardened her stare, defying him, standing her ground against the overwhelming emotions fighting inside her. “You won’t ever break my heart again, Ashe McLaughlin. I know you aren’t here to stay, that you’re in Sheffield on an assignment, just doing your job. But Allen is already forming a strong attachment to you. Don’t encourage him to see you as a…a…big brother.”

“A father figure, you mean, don’t you? Allen needs a father. Why hasn’t Carol ever remarried and given him a father? Or why haven’t you married and given him a brother-in-law?”

“I don’t think my personal affairs or my mother’s are any of your business.”

“You’re right.” He released her chin.

“Please don’t spend so much time with Allen. Don’t let him start depending on you. You aren’t going to be around for very long.”

“What should I do to entertain myself at night?” he asked. “Should I play bridge with your mother and her friends? Should I watch the Discovery channel on TV downstairs in the library? Should I invite a lady friend over for drinks and some hanky-panky in the pool house? Or should I come to your bedroom and watch you undress and see your hair turn to gold in the moonlight? Would you entertain me to keep me away from Allen?”

Her hand itched to slap his face. She knotted her palm into a fist, released it, knotted it again, then repeated the process several times.

“If you hurt my…my brother, I’ll—”

He jerked her into his arms, loving the way she fought him, aroused by the passion of her anger, the heat of her indignation. “I’m not going to hurt Allen. You have my word.”

Ceasing her struggles, she searched his face for the truth. “And I don’t want to hurt you, Deborah. Not ever again. No matter what we’ve done to each other in the past, we don’t have to repeat our mistakes.”

“You’re right,” she said breathlessly. “Do your job. Act as my bodyguard until the trial is over and the threats stop. There’s no need for you to become a temporary member of the family. None of us need a temporary man in our lives.”

Was that what he was? Ashe wondered. A temporary man. Never a permanent part of anything. Just there to do a job. It hadn’t mattered before, that he didn’t have a wife or children. That his life held so little love, so little commitment. Why had being back in Sheffield changed all that? Being around families again, his family and Deborah’s, brought to mind all his former hopes and dreams. Dreams of living in one of the big old houses in Sheffield, of becoming a successful businessman, of showing this town how far he’d come—from the depths of white trash, from the McLaughlins of Leighton. And the biggest part of his dream had been the society wife and the children she’d give him. Children who would never know the shame he’d felt, would never face the prejudice he’d fought, would never be looked at as if they were nothing.

“I’ll do my job. I’ll be careful not to let Allen become too attached to me. And I won’t come into your bedroom and make slow, sweet love to you. Not unless you ask.”

He didn’t give her a chance to say a word. Turning, he marched down the hall, opened Allen’s door and walked in, never once looking back at Deborah.

“Hell will freeze over, Ashe McLaughlin, before I ever ask you to make love to me again!” she muttered under her breath.