Читать книгу Nine Months Part 3 - BEVERLY BARTON, Beverly Barton - Страница 8

Paige Summers had never known such happiness as she experienced with Jared that week, and when Sunday afternoon arrived and their time together came to an end, she had never known such sorrow. They had worked side by side every day, slept in each other’s arms every night and shared every moment of their special time alone together. Not once had they marred the beauty of the past week by discussing the future. But it was time for her to return to her apartment in Grand Springs, and they couldn’t delay the inevitable forever.

Standing by the fireplace in his bedroom, Jared Montgomery watched her pack her suitcase. When she glanced his way, he averted his gaze. He didn’t want her to leave.

“What time did you tell Kay to pick you up?” he asked.

“At four,” she said. “I thought that would give us time to drive down the mountain before it gets dark.”

He checked his watch. “We have less than an hour.”

“I’ll see you at the office tomorrow.” Where she’d once again become just his administrative assistant. She zipped her burgundy suitcase.

Using his crutches, Jared took several tentative steps toward her on his sprained ankle. “Don’t leave. Stay with me.”

“Oh, Jared.” Breathing deeply several times, she willed herself not to cry. She’d known she was taking a chance, risking a broken heart, by staying with him. She had placed her hopes and dreams on teaching Jared to love her. She’d failed. Not once had he mentioned the word love, not even in their most passionate moments.

“Please, honey. Stay.”

“Why do you want me to stay?” Dear God, let him tell me that he cares. If only he could say that he thinks he’s falling in love with me, it would be enough.

“Why?” He stared at her, an incredulous look on his face. “Because we’re good together, you and I. We’re damn good together.”

Hell, it could take years to have his fill of her, to reach the point where he didn’t want her day and night with an insatiable hunger. If only she’d marry him…

Closing her eyes, desperately trying not to cry, Paige bit down on her bottom lip. She had to agree with him. They were good together. But didn’t he realize that what they shared was special, that the chemistry between them was experienced by only the luckiest couples in the world?

“This week together has been wonderful,” she admitted. “The most wonderful week of my life. But—”

“No buts, honey. You want to stay. You know you do.” With his gait hampered by the use of the crutches, he made his way slowly across the room. When he reached her side, he sat down on the edge of bed, propped his crutches on the footboard and held out his hand.

She lifted her suitcase, placed it on the floor, then sat down beside Jared and put her hand in his. “It would be so easy to agree to stay here with you, but I can’t. These past few days together have been days out of time, moments we’ve stolen from our real lives. We’ve been pretending that everything is all right, that we don’t have any problems.”

He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it, then held it against his cheek. “Isn’t what we’ve shared this week enough for you? God, Paige, don’t you realize how good it is between us?”

“Of course I realize how good it is.” She slipped her hand out of his grasp. “But I want more. I want it all. Not just the fantastic sex. Even marriage isn’t enough without the love and happily-ever-after that goes with it.”

“Why can’t what we have be enough for you?” Jared clenched his jaw.

“Is it enough for you?” Paige asked.

“Yes, it’s enough. It’s more than enough. Hell, it’s more than I ever thought I’d have.”

Jared’s brutally honest admission touched her deeply. How little had he expected? Had he really thought he could marry a woman and spend a lifetime with her not only without love, but without passion? Poor, poor Jared. His plans to find a suitable mate, marry and produce an heir had been logical, unemotional, sterile plans.

“Before we met…” She paused, trying to choose the right words, words that wouldn’t frighten him. She wondered if perhaps not only did Jared not believe himself capable of loving someone, but that the very thought of love scared him. “Hasn’t it ever been like this for you before? I mean…haven’t you ever felt about another woman the way you feel about me?”

Grabbing her shoulders, Jared turned her to face him. “Dammit! What do you want me to say? Do you want me to admit that you hold a power over me that no other woman ever has?”

“I want you to be honest. With yourself, as well as with me.” Tell me you love me.

“All right. The honest truth is that I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life, but I hate needing you this way. I’ve always had control over every aspect of my life. You make me lose control. You make me crazy!”

Even though he couldn’t tell her that he loved her, Paige wondered if perhaps the feelings he did have for her were closer to love than anything he’d ever felt. Had their week together strengthened his feelings for her even more than she had hoped? Had Kay been right after all, about teaching Jared how to love? If so, this might be the first step in the learning process.

Leaning her head to one side, she rubbed her cheek across the top of his hand that held her left shoulder. He loosened his grip, ran his hand down her arm and circled her waist.

“I need to go back to my apartment for a few days,” she told him. “I can’t think rationally when we’re together all the time. Whether or not I should move in with you is a major decision.”

Jared cupped her chin in his hand. “Are you saying that you’re considering moving in with me?”

“Yes, I’m considering it. But if I do decide to live with you, it will be only until Angela is born.” Or it can be for the rest of our lives, if you learn to love me.

“Ah, honey, you’ve made me a happy man.”

“I haven’t decided yet. I think this is something we both need to take time apart to consider. In a few more months, I’m going to be big and fat and…and we may not be able to have sex. Be sure this is what you really want.”

He kissed her, hard and fast, then smiled. Paige’s stomach did an evil flip-flop.

“I don’t care how big and fat you get,” he said, then patted her stomach. “You’ll be getting larger as my baby grows inside you. And even if we can’t have sex later in your pregnancy, there are other ways to make love.”

Don’t blush, dammit, she told herself. Don’t blush! “I need a few days to think about it.”

“Take a week, if you need to, as long as you decide to live with me.”

Jared toppled them both over into the bed, and within moments they were lost to the passion that neither could control. They were still in bed when Kay arrived. Jared dressed hurriedly and went downstairs to answer the door, while Paige freshened up and put on her clothes.

* * *

The house was empty without Paige, and Jared was lonely. Although he’d been alone most of his life, he didn’t think he’d ever been really lonely before. Except, maybe, for a while after Grandpa Monty had died. He had missed that old man for a long time. Hell, sometimes he still missed him.

Even though his parents had given Jared everything money could buy, they’d never spent much time with him. As a child, he’d been cared for by a succession of nannies and servants, people paid to see to his needs. As an adult, he’d changed very little about his lifestyle, depending on employees to keep his business and his ranch running smoothly. Even though he made friends easily, he never knew what they liked better, his money or him. And always in the past, he had chosen women with whom he could have unemotional, uninvolved relationships that he could end effortlessly.

But Paige was different from any woman he’d ever known. And the way he felt about her was different. Stronger. More intense. He’d never really needed anyone before—he’d made sure of that. But Paige had hit him like a ton of bricks. A chance encounter in an elevator had turned his life upside down. After making love to Paige, nothing else would ever be the same.

As much as he wanted her, Jared hated his weakness. Paige made him vulnerable. She had taken his sane, orderly, well-planned life and thrown him into utter chaos.

Here he was rich, powerful, not bad-looking and reasonably young. With the snap of his fingers, he could have a hundred women at his beck and call. But he didn’t want those hundred women—he just wanted one. One feisty, stubborn, romantic redhead, who had him spinning his wheels while he waited for her to make a decision.

Using a cane for support, Jared paced back and forth in his den. How long was it going to take Paige to come to her senses, to realize that there was no logical reason for them not to live together, for them not to marry?

She had moved back to her apartment three days ago, and even though he’d seen her every day at the office, it wasn’t enough. He wanted her in his home, in his bed, in his arms, every morning and every night.

Resting one foot on the hearth, Jared tossed today’s issue of the Grand Springs Herald into the fire, then lifted the brass poker and stoked the burning logs. Paige should be here with him now. They could be discussing the Rocky Springs Ranch development or the Florida beachfront condos that Montgomery’s was building. They could be talking about Lamaze classes or deciding on a middle name for Angela. They could be making love on the rug in front of the fireplace.

Jared viciously jabbed at the logs, then threw the poker down on the hearth. Three days. Three damn days! That’s all it had been since he’d made love to Paige, and here he was half out of his mind. Wanting her. Needing her. Missing her.

When the phone rang, Jared glared at it. He had no intention of breaking his neck to answer it. For the past three evenings, every time the phone rang, he’d been certain it was Paige. And every time, he’d been wrong.

Moving at a snail’s pace, he walked across the room. The phone continued ringing. He lifted the receiver.

“Hello.”

“Jared, this is Austen Summers.”

“Austen?” Paige’s brother? “Is Paige all right? Has something happened to her?”

“Paige is okay.” Austen took a deep breath. “We—that is, the family, Mama, Paige and I, are at Vanderbilt Memorial. We think Dad’s had a heart attack.”

“Good God!”

“I thought you’d want to know. Paige is pretty upset. You know how nuts she is about—” Austen paused. “We—that is, Mama thinks Paige needs you.”

“I’ll leave immediately,” Jared said.

“We’re still in ER.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

* * *

Paige couldn’t remember ever being this scared. Her big, strong, invincible father had doubled over with severe pain shooting down his left arm and pressing against his chest. Heart attack, the medics had thought, but Dr. Howell had corrected that diagnosis.

“From the evidence, I don’t think he’s had a heart attack,” Noah Howell told them. “We’re going to run some tests to make sure, but my guess is that Mr. Summers has a blocked artery.”

“What does that mean?” Dora asked. “Can you operate and fix the problem?”

“If it is a blocked artery, I’ll send him to St. Joseph’s in Denver for a procedure called balloon angioplasty, which will surgically repair the blood vessel.”

Paige sat alone on a vinyl sofa in the ER waiting room. Austen leaned against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest and his vision focused on the floor. The staff had allowed their mother a quick visit with their father.

“It’s all right if you want to cry,” Austen said. “I’d cry myself if I could.”

“We need to be strong for Mama,” Paige told him. “She’s the glue that holds this family together, but without Daddy, she’d be lost.”

“He’s not going to die!” Austen slammed his fist into the side of the sofa.

Paige jumped. “No, of course he’s not going to die.” She needed to convince herself as much as her brother that their father was going to live. The very thought of losing him was more than she could bear.

It would be so easy for her to fall apart, to dissolve into a puddle of tears, but that was the last thing her mother needed right now.

Dora Summers emerged from her husband’s ER cubicle. Paige shot off the sofa and rushed to her mother’s side. Austen walked toward them, but stayed back several feet.

“Your daddy’s all right. He—he isn’t hurting anymore. They’ve given him something.” Tears gathered in Dora’s eyes. “They’re going to take him upstairs to ICU and monitor his condition overnight.”

Paige hugged her mother. “Daddy’s tough. He—he—”

“It’s all right, sweetheart,” Dora said. “You go ahead and cry if you want to. Don’t hold it in and make yourself sick. That wouldn’t be good for you and the baby.”

“I’m okay, Mama.”

“Your daddy is worried about you. He kept asking how you were doing. He said not to let you get all upset. He doesn’t want you staying here at the hospital all night.”

“But, Mama—”

“You know how Daddy is about us. He thinks he has to take care of us, even—” Dora’s voice cracked and tears streamed down her face. “Even when he’s lying flat on his back in a hospital.”

“Mama, I won’t get any sleep if I go back to my apartment. I’ll be all alone and worried sick.”

The automatic emergency room doors behind them opened. Dora glanced over Paige’s shoulder. Jared Montgomery marched into the waiting area.

“I don’t think you’ll have to go home alone.” Dora turned her daughter toward the ER entrance.

Jared! He dropped his cane to the floor and opened his arms to her. She flew across the room to him. Encompassing her in his embrace, he held her close, stroking her back with tender care.

“Oh, Jared. How did you know I needed you? Daddy—Daddy is—” The dam holding her emotions in check burst, flooding her eyes with tears and sending sobbing shivers through her body.

“It’s all right, honey. I’m here.” He continued his comforting caresses as he kissed her forehead and cheeks. “I’ll make sure that your father has whatever he needs. Only the best for Walt Summers. I can have doctors flown in from anywhere in the world.”

“Jared, Jared.” She fell apart in his arms, secure in the knowledge that he would hold her together and keep her safe.

“Come on, honey. You need to sit down.” When he draped his arm across her shoulders, she slipped her arm around his waist.

Austen picked up Jared’s cane and held it out to him.

“Thanks.”

“They think Dad’s going to be okay,” Austen said. “Dr. Howell is keeping him overnight in ICU to monitor him. They’ll run some tests tomorrow to determine if the diagnosis of a blocked artery is correct.”

Dora patted Jared’s hand that held his cane. “Thank you, dear, for offering your help. If Dr. Howell is right about Walt’s condition, they’ll send him to St. Joseph’s in Denver for some sort of surgical procedure.”

“What can I do to help, Mrs. Summers?” Jared asked.

“You can take Paige home with you and make sure she gets a good night’s rest. Her father is worried about her and the baby. He’ll do much better knowing that you’re taking care of his little girl.” Dora smiled at Jared and then at Paige, who leaned her head on Jared’s shoulder. “My Walt is so old-fashioned.”

“Dad just can’t get used to the idea that modern women can take care of themselves,” Austen said.

“Sometimes we all need a little taking care of, you know.” Dora sighed. “I’ve rather enjoyed having a strong man to lean on from time to time.”

Jared squeezed Paige’s shoulder. “Well, honey, will you let me take you home?”

Paige was torn between her desire to stay at her mother’s side, standing vigil over her father, and the certain knowledge that by going with Jared she would do her father more good than if she stayed here at the hospital and caused him to worry about her.

“Yes, I’ll let you take me home,” she said. “But you have to promise to bring me back to the hospital first thing in the morning.”

“I promise.”

“Go on,” Dora told them. “Austen will stay here with me, and if I need you, he’ll call.”

Paige hugged her mother and then her brother. “If there’s any change in Daddy’s condition—”

“I’ll call you immediately,” Austin assured her.

“Get your coat and wrap up good and tight. I know it’s freezing out there,” Dora told Paige, then turned to Jared. “Take care of her. For—for her daddy.”

* * *

The mantel clock in the living room struck eleven o’clock. Paige sat curled up on the larger of the two sofas that were arranged in front of the fireplace. Jared handed her a cup of warm milk, laced with a dash of cinnamon. Curling up her nose, she frowned when she accepted his offering.

“You did sprinkle cinnamon on it, didn’t you?” She glanced down at the cup she held.

“Just as you requested.” Jared knelt beside the sofa, lifted Paige’s feet, one at a time, and removed her shoes. “Drink it all and then I’ll put you to bed.”

Paige shivered. The cup trembled in her shaky hand.

“Are you cold?” he asked. Before she could reply, he removed the navy afghan from the back of the other sofa and draped it around Paige’s hips, covering her from waist to toes. “Is that better, honey?”

“Yes, fine, thank you.” She sipped the warm milk. Disgusting. Totally disgusting, even with the dash of cinnamon.

Jared eased down beside her, hooked the curved handle of his cane across the back of the sofa and stretched his arm around Paige’s shoulders.

She took another sip of the warm milk, then set it on the end table. “I’ll finish it later.” Laying her head on Jared’s shoulder, she cuddled against him. “Thank you. You’ve been very good to me tonight. I appreciate it.”

He cupped her chin in his hand. “Ah, honey, don’t you know how easy it is for me to be good to you? All I want is for you to let me take care of you and Angela.”

She cried softly, quietly, while Jared held her in his arms, soothing her with his gentle touch. He asked nothing more of her than to allow him to take care of her—her and their unborn child. And despite her own inner strength and independent nature, Paige was glad that she wasn’t alone. Glad that she had someone to lean on, someone to take care of her, if only for this one night.

But what about all the days and nights ahead? She had planned to raise her child alone with her parents’ help and support. And her mother had offered to baby-sit until the baby was old enough for play school. Paige hated the idea of leaving her baby with strangers, but to be honest, she hated the idea of leaving her baby with anyone.

Now she was five-and-a-half months pregnant and facing motherhood alone. No husband to love her. And no child-care assistance from her mother for quite some time, if her father’s health deteriorated. The last thing on earth she wanted was to be a burden to her parents.

Paige couldn’t let her pride stand in her way. Not now. She needed someone to be there for her, and Jared was more than willing. She’d be a fool not to accept his offer and move in with him.

Living with him didn’t mean she had to marry him, although marrying him would solve her immediate problems. But could she marry him without love and risk not only their future, but their child’s future, as well?

Her eyelids drooped. She yawned. Jared kissed her forehead.

“Come on, Mommy, let me put you to bed before you fall asleep here on the couch.” He retrieved his cane, stood and braced himself, putting most of his weight on his uninjured leg. Reaching down, he grasped her hand and pulled her off the sofa. The navy afghan fell to the floor. Stepping over it, she slipped her arm around Jared’s waist.

Before exiting the living room, Paige picked up her bag from the coffee table and draped it over her shoulder. When they reached the second-floor landing, she halted.

“I don’t want to be alone,” she told him. “I’d like to stay with you. I need you to hold me. Just hold me.”

Jared sucked in a chest-tightening breath, pulled her into his arms and held her. His big, strong arms trembled ever so slightly.

He led her into his bedroom and sat her down on the edge of his bed. “I’ll get you something to sleep in.” He rummaged around in a dresser drawer until he found a pair of cotton flannel pajamas he’d never worn. He couldn’t even remember what he was doing with them. Maybe someone had given them to him as a gift.

He tossed the green-and-blue plaid top to Paige. “Here, honey, put this on.” He draped the bottoms over his arm and headed toward the bathroom. “Take your time.”

Fifteen minutes later when he returned, freshly shaved, barefoot and wearing only his flannel pajama bottoms, he found her sitting on top of the covers, her back to the headboard. She held something in her hand. As he neared the bed, he realized that she was looking at some photographs.

“What have you got there?” He sat down on the edge of the bed, leaned his cane against the nightstand and propelled himself upward to sit beside her.

Her hands trembled as she held out the pictures, offering them to him. “They’re the sonogram pictures. I’ve been carrying them around in my purse for six weeks.” Guilt overwhelmed her. These were the first pictures of their daughter, and she had selfishly kept them to herself. He had every right to be upset with her for not sharing them with him before tonight.

“The sonogram pictures of Angela?” he asked.

He stared at Paige, but his gaze wasn’t the accusatory glare she had dreaded. Instead it was a look of tenderness—a look of love. Did Jared love their baby?

Jared’s hand shook when he took the pictures from her. He studied each snapshot, turning them in every direction. He blew out a long, deep breath. “Whew! It’s amazing, isn’t it? There she is, not even fully developed inside you, but she’s already a baby girl. Our baby girl.”

“Oh, Jared.” Paige caressed his cheek. “I’m sorry that I haven’t already shown you these pictures. I had no right to keep them from you. It’s just that I—I—”

“It’s all right, honey. You’re showing them to me now.”

After looking at the fuzzy black-and-white pictures of his daughter for quite some time, Jared finally laid the sonogram photographs in a neat little stack on the nightstand, then turned and pulled Paige into his arms. She quivered with soft, silent sobs as she melted against him, allowing her body to dissolve into his. He held her, gently soothing her.

Jared loves our baby. Jared loves our baby. She repeated the words over and over until they became a litany. If Jared could love Angela, he could love Angela’s mother, couldn’t he? It wasn’t that Jared was incapable of love, it was simply that he had no idea what love was. He probably didn’t realize how deep and profound his feelings for their child were.

“Jared?”

“Hmm-mmm?” He kissed her cheek and nuzzled her ear.

“Thank you.”

“For what, honey?”

“For caring about me and Angela.” Closing her eyes, she sighed.

Jared held her in his arms until she fell asleep, then he eased her under the covers and pulled her close to him again. Didn’t she know, he wondered, that he couldn’t help caring about her and Angela? It wasn’t that he wanted to care so damn much, he just couldn’t help himself. Paige Summers had to be the easiest person in the world to— To what? To want? To need? To care about?

And Angela. The precious little girl he and Paige had created one wild, reckless night. Oh, he cared about his daughter, all right. He couldn’t even begin to describe the way he felt about his child. She was a part of him. Blood of his blood. Bone of his bone. But she was also a part of Paige. Beautiful, smart, funny, endearing, adorable Paige. Being Paige’s child made Angela all the more special.

Why don’t you admit it? he asked himself. You love your little girl! Maybe you’ve never loved another soul as long as you’ve lived, but you love the child growing inside Paige’s body.

He laid a possessive hand over Paige’s belly. In the silent darkness of night, with Paige sleeping in his arms and his daughter fluttering softly against his palm, Jared whispered, “I love you, my little Angela.”