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3 Making the Connection

Now that you know the gist of my background, I want to provide you with one last chapter of information condensed from Expect the Unexpected that will help you understand how I do what I do, which in turn will help you tap into your intuition more frequently and effectively.

First, you should know the difference between a psychic and a medium:

• All mediums are psychics because, like everyone else, they are born with an intuitive sense.

• A medium has to be a psychic because they use their psychic abilities to connect with and channel the spirits.

• Not all psychics are mediums because they do not necessarily communicate with the dead.

I have both abilities. As a psychic, I am “tuning in” to the energy of the spiritual side; it’s like trying to find a radio station through static. Once that connection has been established, as a medium, I am “channeling” that spiritual energy and letting the information I receive flow through my psychic senses, which I can then share with others.

The reason we all have psychic abilities on some level is because we are all spiritual beings before we are human beings. The body is a shell that will eventually shut down once the heart stops pumping. The spirit, however, is the soul in each of us that lives forever. It is when we are alive in that shell on earth and we align our physical side with our spiritual side — that process of “tuning in” — that we can tap into our intuition.

I want to be clear that after reading this book you will not have the abilities of a medium, and even though you should be able to better tap into your intuition, your psychic abilities will not be at the level of mine unless you have been given this same gift. But they should be at a level higher than you have ever experienced.

Also, don’t fall into the trap of believing the common misconception that anyone who is a psychic should know everything. That is absolutely not true. Psychics are not God, God does not want us to know everything (life wouldn’t be much fun if we did!), and God gave every one of us free will to make decisions — good and bad — that can potentially change the course of our day and someone else’s. The signs we receive from the spirit world are simply meant to be used as guides in our decision making or to bring us comfort during difficult situations.

While my intuition about something can be so strong that I could almost guarantee it is going to happen, it will never be a 100 percent guarantee, because we are beings who were created to think for ourselves and make our own decisions — again, free will. If I tell you something is going to happen to you, often you can determine whether it really comes to pass or not by the decision you make. So, then, why don’t my psychic abilities allow me to know the decision you were going to make? Because there are more than seven billion people in the world, and I do not have access to their brains. Our psychic abilities can guide us well, but they cannot control our futures.

When I give someone a reading, the first thing we need to do together is validate who is coming through. This isn’t always easy — the signs are not always clear — but it is often the most exciting part of the process because it is when the client realizes for certain that their loved one is really with us.

I may say, “I feel a strong mother connection who wants me to connect to the month of November. Do you understand?”

The client may respond, “Yes, my mom passed away two years ago in November, and my son’s birthday also happens to be around this date.”

In a private reading, the energy builds continuously. As a spirit from the other side makes the connection through me, they will start to validate more when they know their loved one sitting in front of me is understanding the flow of information. I fully surrender what I feel someone should receive, and I trust that what comes through is meant for this person in that moment and moving forward.

Not all those on the other side communicate in the same manner. Some come through so crystal clear to me that, without hesitation, I can identify their names and many other pieces of information about them at lightning speed. Others aren’t so easy to discern or understand.

When a spirit taps into my mind, it will usually bring up memories or associations in my life that will help the client and me validate who they are. If I am flashed a vision of my own dad when I am channeling a client’s father from the other side, that spirit will most likely have the same name as my dad, Bill. But it could mean instead that the dad is acknowledging his son named Bill, or someone else on the other side with the name Bill who would be connected to the client. This is why communication with spirits can be challenging. But when I let my feelings and intuition flow as an undercurrent with the spirits, good things usually happen.

When information or signs flow through the channel from the other side to me, I receive them through one or more of the six spiritual senses:

• Clairvoyance: the ability to see with our “inner eye,” beyond the human eye

• Clairaudience: the ability to hear beyond the human ear

• Clairsentience: the ability to feel or touch a spirit

• Clairgustance: the ability to taste beyond our human sense

• Clairalience: the ability to smell beyond our human olfaction

• Claircognizance: the ability to know without a reason (what people describe as a “gut feeling”)

I usually won’t see a deceased person standing in front of me or hear their actual voice. However, I certainly saw my mom after she died, and I’ve definitely seen spirit apparitions on other occasions, but these have usually been earthbound spirits. The communication normally happens through one of the clairs. The following is a brief description of each. Claircognizance is likely the one you will use most often, but it will be good for you to know all of them so that you can recognize them if they arise.

Clairvoyance is when the spirits insert messages into my mind using images of their choice. My soul then shows me those images, which I relay to the person during the reading. Some mediums call clairvoyance a “download” of information. When you download something onto your computer, there is normally a graphic that shows the pieces of the file being transferred. The percentage of completion quickly goes up until it hits 100. That’s how rapidly the spirit world can throw information at me. It is rare for a spirit to just give me a straight message.

I’ve learned over time that the spirit world is using my own life experiences, memories, and lessons as a language to communicate with the living. Clairvoyance is a lot like playing charades; I have to trust every random image that comes through. My interpretation may not always be what that particular spirit is trying to convey, but I know that if I just say what they’re showing me, it will eventually connect the puzzle pieces in divine time.

An example of this is a reading I gave to someone in which a mother was coming through. After a few minutes of channeling the way in which she died, I got an image of the month of June on a calendar, so I said, “She keeps showing me the month of June. Does that mean anything to you?”

I figured maybe her mother was born or died in June. But, to my surprise, the client excitingly replied, “Her name was June!”

I do wish spirits would be more straightforward with me — that they would just tell me directly and clearly who they are and what they want to say. And sometimes they do, as you will read when I discuss claircognizance. But oftentimes they do not. I guess when I join them one day on the other side, I will find out why that is.

Clairaudience occurs a little more frequently in my readings than the remaining four clairs, especially through music. I once had a family come in for a reading, and the song “Angel” by Sarah McLachlan was playing in my head. I knew the song, and I knew it wasn’t my own consciousness playing it, because it had been a long time since I had heard it. It turned out the daughter in that family had recently died and was named Angel.

With clairaudience, I also hear names or sounds that I have to phonetically piece together. For example, I was giving a reading once and I heard Jane in my mind. It wasn’t the clearest, but when I said it, the client told me her name was Jean. As you can see, it’s not always an exact science, but it’s pretty darn close.

Clairsentience generally refers to spirits impressing their feelings into my feelings, usually in a way that shows me how they died. In other words, I may get a heavy sensation in my lungs to validate that the cause of death was lung cancer, or pressure on my chest signifying it was a heart attack.

Clairgustance and clairalience often occur simultaneously in my readings, and both usually involve food. If you and your deceased husband were regulars at a local Italian restaurant, I may taste Italian food, or if he was a gardener, I may smell certain herbs or fresh vegetables. Or I might smell cigarette smoke if the deceased person was a smoker in life. Smells of flowers or perfume sometimes come up, too. These two clairs come through to me less than the other four, but they are surefire validations when they do.

Claircognizance is the most fascinating of the clairs to me because it is all about simply knowing something. I don’t see or hear or feel or taste or smell. I just know. For example, if you are going through a divorce, the soul communicating through claircognizance will just put that knowledge into my mind without flashing any pictures. If you were in a car accident, they will simply make me aware of that fact without my feeling the physical pain of impact. It is presented to me in an instant without any guessing games or fanfare. It’s just a knowing.

Claircognizance is probably what you will experience the most when you are trying to receive signs from the other side, though it won’t necessarily be in the same way or at the level I experience it. If your friend was just diagnosed with cancer, that likely will not instantly be divulged to you. But what your intuition will tell you is whether something you are experiencing is a sign from the other side.

For example, if you are driving down the road thinking about your deceased mother and her favorite song is the next one to come on the radio, you will know she had something to do with it. If you are out to lunch on your deceased grandpa’s birthday and your check comes to $19.42, and he was born in 1942, you will know he is there with you. If you are taking a walk, sad about your friend who recently passed, and a beagle you have never seen before sprints past you, and your friend’s favorite dog was a beagle, you will be comforted knowing that she is walking with you.

As you have probably figured out by now, there is one requirement when it comes to being able to receive signs from the other side: you have to believe. No, you don’t have to have a deeply rooted faith in a certain religion or be a biblical scholar. You don’t have to attend church or conceive of God the same way your neighbor might. But you do have to believe that your loved ones are in a spiritual form on the other side — which to me is heaven — and that even though their bodies are gone from this earth, their souls and energy are not.

Some don’t believe in a life beyond this one because of the way they were raised or the influences around them. The signs from their loved ones will still be there — but, unfortunately, with closed minds and hearts, they will never see them for what they are and view them only as mere coincidences.

Open your mind, open your heart, and believe . . . and experience the beauty that unfolds around you.