Josh Billings, Hiz Sayings
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Оглавление
Billings Josh. Josh Billings, Hiz Sayings
I. JOSH BILLINGS ON THE MULE
II. JOSH BILLINGS INSURES HIS LIFE
III. REMARKS
IV. ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS
V. A TABLOWS IN 4 ACKS
VI. FEMALE EDDIKASHUN
VII. DEPOZETIONS
VIII. WAR AND ARMY PHRAZES
IX. PASHUNCE OV JOB
X. FRIENDLY LETTER
XI. AFFURISMS
XII. JOSH BILLINGS ON CATS
XIII. REMARKS
XIV. JOSH BILLINGS ADDRESSES THE "FEMAIL BILLINGSVILLE SOWING SOSIETY."
XV. NOSHUNS
XVI. SAYINS
XVII. ANSWERS TO CONTRIBUTORS
XVIII. THE DEVIL'S PUTTY AND VARNISH
XIX. MANIFEST DESTINY
XX. ANSWERS TO CONTRIBUTORS
XXI. ON DOGS
XXII. SAYINGS OF JOSH BILLINGS
XXIII. FASHION
XXIV. REMARKS
XXV. PROVERBIAL PIG
XXVI. PROVERBS
XXVII. ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS
XXVIII. PROVERBS OF THE BILLINGS FAMILY
XXIX. A FU REMARKS
XXX. A LEKTURE TO MALE YOUNG MEN ONLY
XXXI. CLEVER FELLOWS
XXXII. AFFERISIMS
XXXIII. ANSWERS TO CONTRIBUTORS
XXXIV. A SHORT AND VERY AFFEKTING ESSA ON MAN
XXXV. THE RASE KOARSE
XXXVI 'GIV THE DEVIL HIZ DUE.'
XXXVII. WATCH DOGS
XXXVIII. ANSWER TO CONTRIBUTORS
XXXIX. REMARKS
XL. AN ESSA ONTO MUSIK
XLI "MAN WAZ MADE TEW MOURN."
XLII. PROVERBS
XLIII. KISSING CONSIDERED
XLIV. FOR A FU MINNITS AMUNG THE SPEERITS
XLV. SAYINGS
XLVI. JOSH GOES TO LONG BRANCH
XLVII. TO MY LADY CORRESPONDENTS
XLVIII. ON WIDDERS
XLIX. THINGS THAT I DON'T HANKER AFTER TO SEE
L. ON COURTING
LI. REMARKS
LII. THE FAULT-FINDER
LIII. PROVERBS
LIV. KOLIDING
LV. ON SNAIKS AND MUDTURKLES
LVI. TRUE BILLS
LVII. NARRATIF
LVIII. PHOTOGRAPHS
LIX. AFFERISIMS
LX. JOSH GITS ORFULLY BIT
LXI. THINGS THAT SUIT ME
LXII. MY FUST GONG
LXIII. PROVERBS
LXIV. DISIPLIN IZ EVRATHING – IN 2 PARTS
LXV. CORRESPONDENTS
LXVI. JOSH BILLINGS AT SARATOGA SPRINGS
LXVII. NOT ENNY SHANGHI FOR ME
LXVIII. IS DISPOSING OV THINGS FOR CHARITABEL PURPOSES BI "LOT" A SIN?
LXIX. ADVERTIZEMENT
LXX. OUT WEST!
LXXI. SAYINS
LXXII. A WIMMIN'S LEAGUE MEETIN
LXXIII. A TRUE FISH STORY FOUNDED ON FAK
LXXIV. AT SARATOGA SPRINGS
LXXV. SPIRITUAL BELIEF OV THE BILLINGSES
LXXVI. JOSH BILLINGS CORRESPONDS WITH A "HAIR OIL AND VEGETABLE BITTERS MAN"
LXXVII. PROVERBS
LXXVIII. DOMESTIK RECEIPTS IN FULL
LXXIX. FAKS
LXXX. ON LECTURES
LXXX. YANKEE NOSHUNS
LXXXII. ATTENTION! SQUAD!
LXXXIII. THE FUST BABY
LXXXIV. LAUGHING
LXXXV. PIONEERS
Отрывок из книги
I kum to the conclusion, lately, that life waz so onsartin, that the only wa for me tu stand a fair chance with other folks, was to git my life insured, and so i kalled on the Agent of the "Garden Angel life insurance Co.," and answered the following questions, which waz put tu me over the top ov a pair of goold specks, by a slik little fat old feller, with a little round gray head, and az pretty a little belly on him az enny man ever owned: —
1st – Are yu mail or femail? if so, Pleze state how long you have been so.
.....
6th – Du yu ever hav enny nite mares?
7th – Are you married and single, or are yu a Bachelor?
.....