Читать книгу The Complete Works of Josh Billings - Billings Josh - Страница 28

Find a girl that iz 19 years old last May, about the right hight, with a blue eye, and dark-brown hair and white teeth.

Let the girl be good to look at, not too phond of musik, a firm disbeleaver in ghosts, and one ov six children in the same family.

Look well tew the karakter ov her father; see that he is not the member ov enny klub, don’t bet on elekshuns, and gits shaved at least 3 times a week.

Find out all about her mother, see if she haz got a heap ov good common sense, studdy well her likes and dislikes, eat sum ov her hum-made bread and apple dumplins, notiss whether she abuzes all ov her nabors, and don’t fail tew observe whether her dresses are last year’s ones fixt over.

If you are satisfied that the mother would make the right kind ov a mother-in-law, yu kan safely konklude that the dauter would make the right kind of a wife.

After theze prelimenarys are all settled, and yu have done a reazonable amount ov sparking, ask the yung lady for her heart and hand, and if she refuses, yu kan konsider yourself euchered.

If on the contrary, she should say yes, git married at once, without any fuss and feathers, and proceed to take the chances.

I say take the chances, for thare aint no resipee for a perfekt wife, enny more than thare iz for a perfekt husband.

Thare iz just az menny good wifes az thare iz good husbands, and i never knew two people, married or single, who were determined tew make themselfs agreeable to each other, but what they suckceeded.

Name yure oldest boy sum good stout name, not after sum hero, but should the first boy be a girl, i ask it az a favour to me that yu kaul her Rebekker.

I do want sum ov them good, old-fashioned, tuff girl names revived and extended.