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Chapter 16 Upchuckys

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"There is no way I can concentrate tonight until Mac comes clean,” Carol stated firmly. Who’s this Eurasian girl?”

Jimmy couldn’t help himself. “She’s Mac’s oriental, wet dream. By the way, Chinese is out tonight. I need some real grease.”

The four looked at each other, and said in chorus, "upchuckys," and laughed. They walked out of Carol's apartment and started strolling towards Chucks.

Carol nudged Mac as she let Jimmy and Juan move in front of them. "Whose your Eurasian friend?"

"Jimmy likes to exaggerate. I had a freakish run in with a girl at Original Joes the other night. She used me for cover to lose two men that were chasing her."

"Did you see the two men?"

"Yea, kind of. The girl was pretending to give me a BJ. I heard them come into the washroom, say something and left. I saw their reflections in the mirror."

"BJ as in …"

"Mac cut her off. "Yea, as in B.J."

"No wonder you're in love. She attached herself to your brain."

"I'm not in love. I just tried to help her. She must have been in real trouble to use me for cover."

Carol laughed. "That makes no sense at all. You're in lust." She laughed again.

Mac gave up trying to explain. Carol, confident that Mac's fantasy may be grounded in truth, had quenched her curiosity.

Chucks restaurant was on Jones Street across from King Lings. It had a fourteen seat counter stretching from front towards the rear. There were eight, Formica topped, tables trailing down the right side and two large booths in the back.

As a classic San Francisco greasy spoon, Chucks drew customers from all over the City. Its steak and eggs breakfast was the cure for many hangovers. And their chili was to die for.

The four called Chucks, upchuckys, because of what happened there their freshmen year. The night after finishing their first semester exams, these four and most of their class went to Roxanne's bar to celebrate. When Roxanne's closed, a dozen or so students went to Mac and Jimmy's apartment. The drinking went into the early morning hours, each student venting, procrastinating, rationalizing and rethinking every test question.

At 6 AM, they finally agreed on a truism often said about law school students. When a person begins law school, they have to start thinking differently.

Tired, drunk and hungry, Carol, Mac, Jimmy and Juan went to Chucks for breakfast. They each ordered steak and eggs. Half way through breakfast Carol became as pale as a ghost. Jimmy first noticed then Mac and finally Juan. Juan said with authority to Carol, "Get up and go to the bathroom.”

Carol got up and began walking towards the back of the restaurant and promptly threw up. She missed hitting any tables but the floor was immediately covered with chunks of steak, hash browns and yellow gooey stuff.

Carol eventually made it to the bathroom. About a minute later, a waiter came from the back of the restaurant pushing a wet/dry vacuum. He promptly sucked up the mess. As he turned to go back, another server pushed a mop in a bucket down the aisle.

Within 4 minutes, the only trace of Carol's mess was a yellow 'slippery' cone. Learning Chucks clean up routine must have been a prerequisite for employment Mac thought after watching their efficiency.

Every time they walked into Chucks, Carol blushed a little. This time was no different. As they entered the restaurant's door, Carol's face flushed reddish pink and the guys smiled with her.

They sat at the counter. Mac and Jimmy on the outside. Carol and Juan were between them. Carol ordered clam chowder soup served in a small, sourdough round loaf. Mac and Juan ordered cheeseburgers and Jimmy opted for the chili.

While they were waiting for their food, Jimmy checked his Smartphone. He was a Drudge addict. He would regularly scan the headlines. He felt even if he didn't read all the details, he would get a general picture of the day's news cycle.

He clicked on one title that intrigued him, Muslim population chart. This article showed the rapid growth of Muslins in countries around the world. Jimmy said to Mac, "You ought to check out this population chart. It says that by the middle of this century Muslims will be over 50% of Russia's population."

Mac turned and looked down the counter at Jimmy, "That's old news. Basically, Muslim leaders are attempting to control the world by overpopulating us infidels."

Jimmy answered back, "They will be able to take over Russia."

Mac echoed, "And they will have access to all those nukes."

"Rusty, old nukes," said Juan interjected.

The server placed their food in front of them. Carol asked Jimmy to pass the salt and pepper.

They all chewed quickly as if they had not eaten for a year. When they were about half finished and coming up for air, Carol reasoned, "So the Muslims are trying to out-populate the non-Muslim peoples of each country What do the zero-population advocates think about that?"

Juan swallowed a big chuck of his cheeseburger to say, "Zero population information has kept the birth rates down within civilized societies since the 1960's. In the 70’s, the zeros cheered birth control and legalized abortion in the U.S. And since, most non-Muslim countries have tried to stabilize their population growth.”

Mac looked at Juan and said, "You never cease to amaze me. You’re a walking encyclopedia. Answer me this. How can a civilized society kill its unborn and still be called civilized?"

Juan continued. "It can't. What I can tell you is the Muslims see overpopulating a country as a way to conquer it. No more bloody battles like the Crusades."

"Yea, the blood doesn't flow until after they impose Sharia Law. Then let the beheading begin," Jimmy said with contempt.

Carol was an only child. Her grandparents joined the hippie movement in their early 30's. That's when Carol's mother was born. Carol was full of zero population talk, along with many other hippie ideas, since before she could remember.

"Where are the zero population advocates?" she asked. "They believe that the world's resources are finite. If so, when the Muslims win the population war, what do they win? They take over an overpopulated world running short of natural resources. Sounds like a recipe for going back to the dark ages." She surmised.

"You have to count the beheadings as a negative population figure. With all the Christians, Jews, Protestants, Mormons and such, headless, that leaves more food for the conquers!" proclaims Jimmy.

"And the cycle completes itself. From uncivilized to civilized and back to uncivilized again." Juan had conquered the conversation with his simple summary of Muslim world domination.

Behind the four, sitting at a table, was a man in his late 60’s reading an ancient history book. He couldn't help but over-hear their conversation. He remembered when he and his friends would sit at that same counter and solve the world's problems. He thought this group was a smart bunch, but very naive.

Mac got up from his stool. "Let's go guys. I'm going to need some help with thinking obtusely about civil law."

With that, they all got up, checks in hand and paid at the front register. Jimmy detected the man behind them. He looked up from his book and watched them leave.

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