Читать книгу Uncomfortable Ideas - Bo Bennett PhD - Страница 16

There is a common misconception that we need to choose between happiness and some of the more “depressing” aspects of reality that are commonly seen as uncomfortable ideas. While I can think of a few cases where this might be the case, humanity is far more resilient than we give ourselves credit for. A landmark study published in 1978 demonstrated that lottery winners are no happier and paralyzed accident victims are no less happy a few months after their life-changing events. In addition, the lottery winners were often less happy than they were prior to winning the lottery because they took less pleasure in mundane events.⁵ Unlike being paralyzed, accepting uncomfortable ideas can be relatively benign such as realizing you’re not as good looking as you think. However, they can also be even more devastating, such as realizing that there is no benevolent god looking out for your well-being after spending a lifetime as a devout Christian. Optimists undoubtedly do better embracing uncomfortable ideas because these ideas often involve perspective. To give you a personal example, I spent the first 35 years of my life believing in an afterlife—the comfortable idea that I was going to live for eternity. Then I had to go ahead and start studying philosophy, world religions, and psychology. And if that weren’t enough to turn my worldview upside down, I read the Bible from cover to cover—not just the warm and fuzzy parts. I could no longer believe in an afterlife, and that was difficult for me to handle, but only at first. I am an optimist, and I quickly began to realize that every moment I am alive is now more precious. I don’t have eternity to do things or enjoy time with my family; I just have this life. In the last nine years since that realization I started several business, wrote and published seven books including my memoirs, earned a master’s degree in generally psychology, earned a PhD in social psychology, lost 30 pounds (and kept it off), vacationed in over a dozen countries, accepted a teaching position at a local college, spent a lot of quality time with my wife and kids, and I am currently crossing off the last item on my bucket list—writing a screenplay. Just because an idea is uncomfortable at first, does not mean it will remain uncomfortable.