Читать книгу Attention. Deficit. Disorder. - Brad Listi - Страница 32

The altimeter needle hit 10,000. The pilot turned around and gave the divemasters a hand signal.

My divemaster, Alejandro, had just finished fastening himself to my back with an elaborate system of clips and harnesses.

My palms were raining sweat, and my stomach was in knots. My mind was racing. I felt medicated. Also, I was deeply concerned that I might urinate and/or defecate in my jumpsuit while plummeting through the earth’s atmosphere at terminal velocity. I feared that my fear would be so immense that my bladder and bowels would spontaneously release.

Note: I feared my fear.

Note: I refrained from articulating my fear of my fear to Alejandro for fear of upsetting his concentration.

In a futile attempt to cool my nerves, I looked over at A.B., gave a thumbs-up, and forced a smile. It was the fakest smile I had ever sent into the universe. It was the smile of a child who was secretly urinating in a public swimming pool. A.B. faked a smile in return. He shouted something at me, but I couldn’t make out what he was saying amid the engine’s roar. I smiled again and nodded.

Alejandro placed his mouth inches from my ear and issued the following declaration:

“I am going to open the door now.”

I understood him perfectly and said nothing. Alejandro repeated his declaration. I nodded and gave another thumbs-up.

Alejandro reached over and unlocked the latch on the Cessna’s small side door. The door flew open, and a blast of cold air rushed into the cabin with enormous force. My heart leapt. The sound was tremendous. I was now facing the open door and the empty sky. I slid my goggles over my eyes.

Alejandro positioned himself behind me. He put his mouth up to my ear once again and shouted the following command:

“Step out onto the wing.”

Remarkably, I inched toward the edge. There didn’t seem to be any other choice. Alejandro was behind me, pushing gently. The ozone layer was whipping against my face. A.B was getting married that day. It was a special occasion. People went skydiving all the time. It was all perfectly safe. There was nothing to worry about. The important thing to do was to just have fun. The hardest part was jumping. The rest would be easy. Alejandro had a chute, a backup chute, and an AAD (automatic activation device), which would deploy the chute automatically at an altitude of three thousand feet in the event that he somehow slipped into unconsciousness during our descent. The system was reportedly foolproof.

Now I was at the threshold. The bar attached to the wing, where my feet were to be placed, was right there in front of me. Below the wing, there was nothing. Below nothing, there was earth. Below the earth, there was more nothing.

I had to step out onto that wing. I had to step into that nothing.

I placed my feet on the wing. It was the most unnatural moment of my entire life.

My feet were now on the wing of an aircraft that was flying at a cruising altitude of approximately ten thousand feet.

Alejandro asked me if I was ready. I said nothing. Perhaps I nodded.

The next thing I knew, we were dropping, flipping, spinning out of control, a mad rush of air. I didn’t know which way was up. I no longer heard the plane. I was disoriented, didn’t know where I was. I was tumbling out of control, plummeting toward earth at terminal velocity, and then, suddenly, vwoompth, I flattened out. My belly was facing the earth, my arms and legs were outstretched. I had achieved some kind of equilibrium. I was flying. I could see my arms, my hands. I could see wisps of white clouds in the distance. I heard Alejandro let out a battle cry. He was still with me. He had righted us with his expertise.

I looked down. I could see everything. Playa del Carmen. Las Palapas, the resort we were staying at. The Gulf of Mexico, bleeding blue to turquoise as it neared the shore. Hotels tucked among the trees. The beach looked like a long line of cocaine. Inland there was nothing but green.

I didn’t feel Alejandro pull the rip cord. I felt only an enormous tug on my harness when the parachute opened and grabbed the atmosphere. We rushed to what felt like a sudden stop. The next thing I knew, everything was silent. The chaos was over. My chute had engaged. My chute was working. I was alive. I was not going to die. I was floating toward earth at a gentle rate of speed, no longer plummeting. Parachute technology had succeeded. Alejandro was manning the toggles, steering us earthward. I didn’t have to do anything. I was hanging at twenty-five hundred feet. Provided the elaborate system of clips and harness held fast, I would be arriving on the sandy beach below in a matter of moments, physically intact, completely uninjured.

I looked down, liberated. I thought I could see my friends. I had not soiled my jumpsuit, and I was not dead.

Also, it had just occurred to me that I was laughing hysterically, like a child.