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Chapter Five

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“I’m sorry I can’t make it tonight,” Annie said, both frustrated and worried. She was starting to enjoy her evenings with Duncan at the various functions he took her to. But she was also worried about their deal. “I hope you understand. It’s a holiday emergency.”

“A contingency we seem to have missed in our agreement.”

Annie couldn’t tell if he was pissed or not and found herself a little nervous about asking.

“It’s just we had a lot of no-shows last weekend when the parents were supposed to help with the set decorations.”

“For the Christmas play?” he asked.

“It’s a winter festival, Duncan. We don’t promote any one holiday celebration.”

“And calling it a winter festival fools people?”

She heard the humor in his voice. “It’s inclusive. So there are a bunch of sets to be built and painted. I have to stay and help.”

“What is your class doing?”

“Singing ‘Catch a Falling Star’ while using American Sign Language at the same time.”

“Multitasking at five. Impressive. All right, Ms. McCoy. Call me when the sets are decorated. If there’s time, I’ll take you to the cocktail party with me.”

“I’m sorry to miss it,” she said, sincere in her regret.

“You don’t know that you will yet, do you?”

“We’re not exactly a talented group when it comes to woodworking, Duncan. We’re going to be here all night.”

“Just call me.”

She hung up and walked back into the main auditorium building. The other teachers and a couple of volunteers were dividing up the work. As the closest Annie had come to construction was the knitting class she’d taken the previous summer, she was given paint detail.

Thirty minutes later everyone was hard at work, building, sanding and painting. Fifteen minutes after that, four big guys in T-shirts, jeans and work boots walked in. Each man had an impressively large toolbox with him. The principal turned off the saw and removed her safety goggles.

“Can I help you?” she asked.

“We’re here to help with the sets,” one of the guys said. “Duncan Patrick sent us.”

The teachers looked around in confusion. Annie cleared her throat. “He’s, ah, a friend of mine. I mentioned we hadn’t had our usual parent volunteers.” She was trying to look perfectly normal, which probably wasn’t working, seeing as she couldn’t stop smiling. A light, happy feeling made her think she just might be able to float home instead of drive.

The principal sighed gratefully. “We are desperate. Have you ever worked on sets for a school play before?”

The men exchanged glances. “Two of us are cabinet makers, and two of us are house painters, ma’am. We can handle it. If you’ll just tell us what needs to be done, leave us to finish it and we’re good.”

Annie pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and dialed Duncan’s number. “Thank you,” she whispered when he picked up. “This is amazing.”

“This is me making sure you don’t back out of our deal. I’ll pick you up at five. It won’t be a late evening.”

She wanted to say more, to have him admit he’d gone way out of his way to help her. But something inside her told her he didn’t want to take credit for what he’d done. The question was why. What in Duncan’s past made him believe that being nice and kind and honorable was a bad thing? Had someone hurt him? Maybe it was time to find out.

“I don’t understand,” Annie said as she put the key in the front door lock and turned it. “He’s a banker. He has lots of money. So why does he care about yours?”

“Banks get money from other people and make profit off it,” Duncan told her. “Loaning it out, investing it. The bigger the accounts, the more income for the bank.”

“Okay,” she said slowly, obviously not convinced.

They’d spent the past two hours at a boring cocktail party. In theory the evening had been about networking, but it had become clear that Duncan had been invited so a prominent banker could solicit his business. Normally he didn’t mind being courted—it could make for an excellent deal. But tonight he hadn’t been in the mood.

Instead he’d been watching the clock and checking his cell phone.

Annie shrugged out of her black wrap and dropped it on the sofa. She bent over to remove her high heels, wincing as she pulled them off.

“They weren’t kidding,” she murmured, curling her toes into the carpet. “Beauty is pain.”

Normally Duncan would have responded to the comment, but he was too busy watching her dress gape open, exposing her full, pale breasts. The curves looked big enough to fill his hands. Staring at them, he wondered how the soft skin would taste. He imagined his tongue circling her tight nipples, flicking them quickly as she writhed beneath him.

The image was vivid enough to cause blood to pool in his groin. He shifted uncomfortably.

Annie straightened, took a step and winced again. “I think the injury is permanent. How do women wear those shoes every day? I couldn’t stand it.” She pointed to the corner. “Isn’t it beautiful?”

He glanced in that direction and saw the decorated Christmas tree by the window. It filled the space and spilled into the room. Hundreds of ornaments seemed to cover every inch of branch. Annie flipped on the lights, which flicked on and off at a dizzying speed. It wasn’t something he would have liked and yet there was something special about the tree.

“Very nice.”

“Did you get one yet for your place?” she asked.

Of course not, but he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. Instead he pointed to the coffee table where an instruction manual lay inside a clear plastic sleeve. “What’s that?”

She looked down, then picked up the package. “I don’t know. It’s for a freezer. We don’t have a…”

Slowly she raised her head until she stared at him. “You didn’t.”

He pointed to the kitchen. Beyond that was a utility room with a washer, dryer and as of an hour ago, a brand-new freezer. She ran through the kitchen. He followed. When he’d caught up with her, she was running her hands lovingly down the door before opening it and gazing at the full shelves.

There were packages of meat, chicken and fish, a stack of frozen pizzas, bags of vegetables, containers of juice and ice cream. Annie stared for nearly a minute, her eyes wide, her mouth open. Then she closed the door and turned to face him.

He’d known a lot of beautiful women in his life. He’d slept with them, dated some, left more than a few. He’d been seduced by the best, even been married, but no one had looked at him the way she did now—tears in her blue eyes, a expression of pure happiness on her face.

“You didn’t have to do that,” she told him.

“I know. I wanted to. You can buy in bulk. It’s cheaper. I know how you love a bargain.”

“It’s the best gift ever. Thank you.” She reached for his hand and squeezed it. “Seriously, Duncan. This is life-changing.”

He pulled back his hand, not wanting to be sucked into the moment. He’d seen a need and filled it. Big deal. “It’s just a freezer.”

“To you. To me it’s something I don’t have to worry about for a while. It’s a chance to catch my breath.”

He’d given gifts before. Jewelry. Cars. Vacations. Now, standing in Annie’s shabby little house, he realized he’d never given anything that mattered. No one had been touched by something he’d done before. Maybe because Annie was one of the few women he’d ever liked.

Wanting and liking were completely different. He’d gone into this arrangement to improve his reputation and get his board of directors off his ass. But somewhere along the way, he’d started to like Annie. He couldn’t tell if that was good or bad.

“This is my good deed for the holiday season,” he said. “Don’t read too much into it.”

“Right.” Her smile was knowing. “Because you’re not a nice guy.”

“I’m not.”

“So I’ve heard.” She pulled open the freezer again and removed a pizza. “This has everything on it. Does that work?”

“You’re cooking a pizza?”

“They served only sushi at that cocktail party.” She wrinkled her nose. “Raw fish isn’t my favorite.”

“Pizza it is.”

She went back into the kitchen and started the oven. “Want to watch a Christmas movie while we wait?”

“No.”

She laughed. “I’d let you pick which one.”

“I’d still say no.”

The tears were gone and now her eyes sparkled with laughter. “You’re not overly domesticated, are you?”

“I never had a reason.”

“But you were married. Didn’t the former Mrs. Patrick tame you?”

He moved closer. “Do I look tamed?”

“Hmm.” She squinted. “I think I can see little marks on your cheeks where the reins went.”

He reached for her and she ducked away. But she slipped on the vinyl floor. He caught her in his arms, her body yielding against his. The need to pull her close was strong, the desire instant. But the reminder of his ex killed the moment. He let her go.

“Valentina wasn’t interested in domesticating me,” he said, deliberately stepping back.

Annie leaned against the counter. “What was she like? Cameron said she was interesting.”

“I doubt that. Cameron would have said she was a bitch.”

“That, too.”

Duncan didn’t think about his ex-wife any more than he had to. “It was a long time ago,” he said. “She was a journalism major in college. I’d just bought my first billion-dollar company. She came out to interview me for a paper she was writing. Or so she said. I think it was a way to meet me.”

Valentina was four years younger than him, but she’d been cool, sophisticated and confident. He’d been a former boxer, over-muscled and accustomed to using his size to get his way. She was all about the subtle win.

“Is she beautiful?” Annie asked, not quite meeting his gaze.

“Yes. Blond hair, blue eyes.” He studied the woman in front of him. Technically the description fit Annie as well, but the two women had nothing in common. Annie was soft and approachable. She trusted the world and thought the best of people. Valentina played to win and didn’t care who got hurt in the process.

She’d smoothed his rough edges, had taught him what it meant to be a gentleman. Through her he’d learned about wine and the right clothes and which topics of conversation were safe for polite conversation. She was all about doing the right thing—until the bedroom door closed. There she preferred him as uncivilized as possible.

“How long were you married?”

“Three years.”

“Did you…” Annie cleared her throat. “I assume you were in love with her. It wasn’t a business arrangement.”

“I loved her,” he said curtly. As much as anyone could love a woman who kept her heart firmly protected in a case of ice. “Until I walked in on her screwing one of my business partners.”

Not even in their bed, Duncan thought, still more angry than hurt at the memory. On his desk.

“I threw her out and borrowed enough money to buy off all my partners,” he said, looking past her but not seeing anything around them. Instead he saw a naked Valentina tossing her long hair over her shoulder.

“You weren’t foolish enough to think I really loved you,” she’d said in answer to his unspoken question.

He had been that foolish. All the time he’d been growing up he’d known he had to be strong to stay safe. With Valentina, he’d allowed himself to forget the painful lessons he learned in his youth. He never would again.

Annie touched his arm. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why she would do something like that.”

“Why, because in your world marriage is forever?”

“Of course.” She looked shocked that he would even ask. “My dad died when I was really young. My mom talked about him all the time. She made him so real to me and Tim. It was like he wasn’t dead—he’d just gone on a long trip. When she died, she told me not to be sad because when she was gone, she got to be with him again. That’s what I want.”

“It doesn’t exist.”

“Not every woman is like Valentina.”

“You find anyone worthy of those dreams of yours?”

“No.” She shrugged. “I keep falling for the wrong guy. I’m not sure why, but I’ll figure it out.”

She was optimistic beyond reason. “How many times have you had your heart broken?”

“Twice.”

“What makes you think the next time will be different?”

“What makes you think it won’t be?”

Because being in love meant being vulnerable. “You would give a guy everything. Only for him to use you for what he can get, then walk away? Life is a fight—better to win than lose.”

“Are those the only two options?” she asked. “What happened to a win-win scenario? Don’t they teach that in business school?”

“Maybe. But not in the school of hard knocks.”

She reached for his hands and curled his fingers into fists. “It must have been frustrating to learn you couldn’t use these to battle your way out of every situation.”

“It was.”

Annie hadn’t known much about Duncan’s ex-wife beyond what Cameron had told her. Now she had a clearer understanding of what had happened. Valentina had hurt Duncan more than he would admit. She’d broken his trust and battered his feelings. For a man who was used to using physical strength when backed into a corner, the situation had to have been devastating. He’d allowed himself to lead with his heart, only to have it beaten up and returned to him.

“There hasn’t been anyone important since Valentina?” she asked, even though she already knew the answer.

“There have been those who tried,” he said lightly.

“You’re going to have to trust one of them. Don’t you want a family?”

“I haven’t decided.”

She shook her head. “You have to admire the irony of life,” she said. “I would love to find someone and settle down, have a houseful of kids and live happily ever after. The challenge is that I can’t find anyone who sees me as the least bit interesting in the romantic department. You, on the other hand, have women throwing themselves at you, begging to be taken, but you’re not interested.” She stared into his gray eyes. “You shouldn’t give up on love.”

“I don’t need your advice.”

“I owe you something for the freezer.”

“The pizza is enough.”

“Okay. Want to go find something violent on television while I put this in the oven?”

“Sure.”

She watched him walk out of the kitchen.

Knowing about his past explained a lot. What Duncan didn’t realize was that under that tough exterior was a really nice guy, which he wouldn’t want to hear anyway. Guys hated to be called nice. But he was. She couldn’t turn around without tripping over the proof.

What had he been like before he’d met Valentina? A strong man, willing to trust and give his heart. Did it get any better than that? The oven beeped. She opened the pizza box, then slid the contents onto a cookie sheet and put it in the oven.

Did Duncan’s ex have any regrets? Had she figured out everything she’d lost and wished for a second chance? Annie didn’t know her, so she couldn’t say. She only knew that if she were ever given a shot at a man like Duncan, she would hold on with both hands and never let go.

The office Christmas party was a complete disaster. Annie hated to be critical, but there was no escaping the uncomfortable silence, the uneasy glances being exchanged and the unnaturally loud bursts of laughter from nervous attendees. She could feel the fear of those around her. No one was eating or drinking, and nearly everyone kept checking the time as if desperate to make an escape.

“Interesting party,” she murmured to Duncan as they stood by the main entrance to the hotel ballroom. While she thought it was nice Duncan wanted to greet everyone who attended, his presence wasn’t helping the situation. He was big and powerful, which made relaxing even more difficult.

“These things are always tedious.”

“Maybe if there’d been some music.”

“Maybe.” He looked over her head. “There’s Jim in accounting. I need to go speak with him. I’ll be right back.”

She retreated to a private spot by a fake potted plant and called home. Jenny picked up on the first ring.

“Can you and Kami bring the karaoke machine?” she asked in a low voice. “I have a dead party that needs help.” She gave the name of the hotel and which ballroom.

“Fancy,” Jenny said.

“Disaster. Please hurry.”

“We’ll be there, Annie. Just keep sipping the wine.”

“I’m not sure it will help.” She pushed the end button, then put her cell back in her purse.

Across the ballroom, Duncan talked to several men. Probably his executives, she thought, noticing how everyone else also kept their eyes on the group.

Three nights ago, he’d ended up leaving before the pizza was cooked, claiming he was going back to work. It was probably true, she told herself. Work was an escape. Not that she was anyone to complain. While she didn’t work the crazy hours he did, she spent plenty of time avoiding what was wrong with her life. Her cousins and Kami kept her busy, not to mention all the projects through school and the various classes she’d signed up for. If she was constantly running, she didn’t have to think about the fact that she hadn’t been on a date in nearly six months. Not counting Duncan, of course.

After the holidays, she promised herself. She would get back out there and start dating. She would look for someone who saw her as more than a sister or a friend. Tim had offered to set her up with a couple of guys he knew. Although that had been before he’d gone into rehab. She wondered if her brother was still angry with her. Because he wasn’t able to get calls or have visitors for a couple more weeks, there was no way to know.

For the next twenty minutes, she sipped her wine and tried to talk to people at the party. They were all too tense to do more than say they were fine and yes, this was a great party. Just as nice as last year. Finally Jenny and Kami appeared with the karaoke machine and microphone.

“I put in songs from the eighties,” Jenny said as she helped Kami set up the machine on a table by a plug. “I figured everyone here would be really old.”

“Nice,” Annie told her. “You’re kidding, right?”

Jenny grinned. “You’re so serious about everything. Yes, I’m kidding. There’s mostly Christmas music loaded.” She looked around at the dying party. “How are you going to get this started?”

Annie took another sip of wine. “I plan to sacrifice myself.”

Kami winced. “Tim doesn’t deserve you looking out for him the way you do.”

“Tell me about it.”

Annie nodded and Jenny flipped the switch. An electronic hum filled the room. Everyone turned to look. Annie waved weakly, then scrolled through the songs until she found “Jingle Bell Rock.” Maybe that would put people in the holiday spirit.

The music came on. Kami turned it up, then mouthed, “Good luck.”

Annie picked up the microphone and began to sing.

She had a modest voice, at best. Soft, without a lot of range. But someone had to save the party and everyone else was too afraid. So she did her best and ignored the waver in her voice and the heat burning her cheeks.

At the chorus, Jenny and Kami joined in. Then a couple of people in the crowd sang along. A few more sang the second chorus and by the third time around, most of the people in the room were nodding along.

A couple of women came up and said they wanted to sing. By the time they were done, there was a line of people waiting. She gratefully handed off the microphone.

She grabbed her wine and finished it in a single gulp. She was still shaking. The good news was people were actually talking to each other and she saw a couple filling plates with food.

Duncan joined her. “You were singing.”

“I know.”

His expression was hard to read. “Why?”

“Was it that bad?”

“No, but you were uncomfortable.”

“The party was dying. Something had to be done.”

Duncan looked around at his employees, then back at her. “This wasn’t your responsibility.”

“People should have a good time at an office party. Isn’t that the point of giving it? So they can hang out together, talk and learn about each other in a way that isn’t about work?”

He stared at her blankly.

She pointed at the people in the room. “Go talk to them. Ask questions about their lives. Pretend interest.”

“Then what?”

“Smile. It will confuse them.”

He looked at her quizzically, then did as she said. She watched him approach a group of guys who were drinking beer and tugging at their ties.

The employees weren’t the only ones who were confused, she thought, staring at Duncan. She was, as well. She was with him for a reason that had nothing to do with caring or being involved. He’d basically blackmailed her into pretend dating him so he could fool the world into thinking he was a nice guy. So why did she want to be next to him now, helping him? Why did the sight of his smile make her want to smile in return?

Complications she couldn’t afford, she reminded herself. She wanted forever and Duncan wanted to be left alone. She was staff, he was the boss. There were a thousand reasons why nothing would ever work out between them.

And not one of them could stop her from wishing for the very thing she could never have.

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