Читать книгу Night Heat - Brenda Jackson - Страница 12

An entire week later, Jocelyn was still thinking about how close her and Bas’s lips had come to touching. It would only have been a kiss, she’d tried telling herself over and over again. No big deal, she’d locked lips with other men before, although she could count on one hand the times she had done so.

Still, it annoyed her to no end that even after a week she could feel every muscle of Bas’s body that had been pressed against hers. Then there had been his mouth, close, hot, ready. She could only imagine the taste of it. Her heart beat wildly in her chest at the mere thought. If Marcella hadn’t shown up when she had, there was no doubt in Jocelyn’s mind that they would have kissed.

Bas’s face had been close to hers, breathing in her scent the same way she’d been breathing in his. Never had any man gotten absorbed in her senses so quickly the way Sebastian Steele had. And then it seemed that once Marcella arrived he had vanished into thin air, leaving the job site by way of the back entrance, making her wonder if the entire thing had been real.

She had tried to avoid him, knowing he was spending time at the office going through files and records. She had no idea what he was looking for, but as long as he stayed out of her way that was fine. Twice she had seen him when she had stopped by the office to sign some papers. He had been so wrapped up in what he’d been reading that he’d barely acknowledged her presence, and she’d barely acknowledged his.

“That pork chop is already dead, Jocelyn. There’s no need to keep stabbing it to death.”

Jocelyn snatched up her head and met Leah’s gaze. Jocelyn had been so wrapped up in her thoughts that she had completely forgotten her sister was sitting across from her. They hadn’t exchanged a lot of conversation during dinner and eventually their dialogue had drifted to a dead end.

Leah was nervous, Jocelyn could tell. If she had been stabbing at her pork chop for the past few minutes, then Leah had been guilty of nervously nipping at her lips, an old habit when she knew she was about to get into trouble. Evidently Leah had something on her mind, something serious. Jocelyn wondered if her sister was ready to explain why she’d left home so abruptly. The explanation was five years too late, but then, better late than never.

She decided to go ahead and get the conversation started. “Last week you said you wanted to tell me something when you felt you could talk about it. Can you talk about it now?” Jocelyn asked, after taking a bite of her pork chop and savoring the taste. Evidently Leah had kept up her cooking skills during the five years she’d been away.

Whenever she’d come home—which had only been twice in five years—she’d only stayed for a couple days, as if passing through, and she never talked about why she had left Newton Grove or what she was doing in California. The only thing she would say was that she was fine and making it; she refused any money they offered her.

“Yes, I can talk about it now, but first tell me about Sebastian Steele. You haven’t mentioned him at all this week.”

Leah’s request caught Jocelyn off guard and she had to fight not to choke on the piece of pork she was chewing. She quickly picked up a glass of water to wash it down. She had to be careful, very careful, not to give anything away, like the fact she found him so damn attractive and that they had almost kissed.

“I haven’t had any reason to talk about him. He spends his days over at the office and I spend my time over at the job site. I haven’t seen him much and that’s the way I like it,” she said.

At the lifting of Leah’s brow it occurred to Jocelyn she really hadn’t answered her sister’s question. “All right, what is it that you want to know?”

“Well, when you talked about him he didn’t seem like a nice person, which makes me wonder about his relationship with Dad. Why would Dad strike up a friendship with such a man as Sebastian Steele?”

Jocelyn could understand Leah’s concern. She also knew it wasn’t fair for her to portray Bas as a totally awful person. His handling of the Manuel situation had proven him quite the contrary, and had certainly earned him Reese’s and the men’s respect. He could have easily called the authorities and had Manuel arrested but he hadn’t, and according to what she’d heard after talking to Reese later, Bas had even gone so far as to suggest that Mason Construction advance Manuel a full month’s salary in recognition of his hard work and dependability.

Although it would be a lot of effort on her part, considering her dislike of Bas, she needed to convince Leah that even though she didn’t know the full story, Bas was probably just the type of person her father would hook up with.

She leaned back in her chair and smiled. “I might have gone a little overboard in my description of him earlier,” she finally said. “I was upset about the situation Dad placed me in with Mr. Steele and I immediately formed my own opinions of him. In the first few hours of our meeting I refused to consider that I might like him.”

“And do you like him?” Leah asked, taking a sip of her tea and watching her sister closely.

Jocelyn reached for another dinner roll. “To say I like him would be stretching it a bit since I don’t really know the man,” she said honestly. “Let’s just say I can tolerate him.”

“How long does he have to hang around and supervise?”

“Dad’s will indicated a minimum of at least six weeks. But Bas mentioned he would be around for at least three months.”

“Bas?”

Jocelyn glanced up and saw the curious light shining in Leah’s eyes and decided to put it out. She didn’t want her sister getting any ideas about her relationship with Sebastian Steele. “Yes, Bas is what he prefers to be called. It’s short for Sebastian.”

“Oh, I see.” After a few moments Leah added, “I’m glad you’ll be able to work with him, Jocelyn. And like I told you, I don’t want my share of the business, so the sooner you can buy me out the better. I have plans for what I’m going to do with my money.”

Although Jocelyn knew she didn’t have any right asking, she couldn’t help herself. “And what do you plan to do with it?”

To her surprise, Leah smiled and Jocelyn could see excitement shining in her dark-brown eyes. “I plan to open my own restaurant. For the past five years, I’ve been working as a cook while taking classes at a culinary school in San Diego to perfect the basics.”

Jocelyn opened her mouth in astonishment. Leah had been working as a cook all this time? She didn’t want to admit some of the things she’d wondered about what her sister was doing to stay alive. It had always been Leah’s dream to hit California by storm and become a model. Jocelyn had heard just how unscrupulous some modeling agencies could be and had hoped and prayed that Leah hadn’t gotten mixed up with one of them.

“What happened with your dream to become a model?” Everyone knew it had been Leah’s aspiration. Everyone except for Reese. Oh, sure he’d known it, but he had counted on his love for her and her love for him changing her mind.

Jocelyn watched as Leah began nervously nipping at her lips again. “I’d changed my mind about that before I even left here.”

Jocelyn frowned. Now she was confused. “Then why did you leave the way you did? If you wanted to become a cook you could have moved somewhere close by. There are a lot of good restaurants in Memphis and I’m sure Reese would have understood. Hell, considering how much he loved you, he probably would have moved there with you. The two of you could have made things work, Leah.”

Jocelyn studied her sister, saw the tears that suddenly sprang into her eyes and knew she’d hit a sensitive nerve. “Yes, and believe it or not I had decided on doing just that and was going to suggest it to Reese, but…”

When Leah’s voice drifted off and the tears began pouring more freely, more abundantly, Jocelyn immediately got up and went to her sister, leaned down and hugged her. “But what, Leah?” she inquired softly. “If you had planned to hang around, why did you leave the way you did and without telling anyone you were leaving? Especially Reese?”

Leah shook her head, trying to regain her composure before she could speak. “Something happened, Jocelyn, and I couldn’t tell anyone. Especially not Dad or Reese. Not even you.”

Jocelyn heard the trembling in her sister’s voice and the strong conviction, as well. Whatever had happened was something Leah actually thought she could not have shared with anyone. She pulled back and met her sister’s intense, tear-filled eyes. “What happened, Leah?”

Leah hung her head for a moment, then when she lifted her gaze, Jocelyn saw in it tortured memories, recollections Leah didn’t want to relive but was being forced to. Jocelyn felt a warning chill slowly work its way up her spine and thought that nothing could have been bad enough to make her sister flee into the night the way she’d done.

Jocelyn’s hold on her sister tightened and she hoped she was giving Leah the strength to get out whatever it was she needed to say. When she felt Leah respond by holding tightly to her hand, she knew that she was. For the first time Leah was accepting all the smothering, the babying, the overprotectiveness she had refused from her for so many years.

“What happened, Leah?” Jocelyn inquired again, in an even softer tone of voice than before. “What happened to make you leave when you did?”

Leah opened her mouth to speak. Then paused. She slowly opened it again as she met her sister’s intense stare. “I was raped, Jocelyn. Neil Grunthall raped me.”

If Jocelyn had been standing upright instead of leaning over with her arms around Leah, she would have fallen to her knees. If not the words her sister had just spoken, then the pain and suffering she saw lining Leah’s face would have definitely knocked her there. For a moment she began trembling, or was it Leah? No, she was certain it was her and she was trembling in anger.

“Neil raped you?” As she heard herself saying the words, she was stunned that the no-good drifter their father had hired on that spring had gone so far.

“Yes,” Leah answered softly, “and please sit down. It’s time I tell you about that time.”

Jocelyn moved around the table, still clutching Leah’s hand in hers, not wanting to lose the connection, the closeness, the need to exchange strength. When Jocelyn returned to her seat, she braced herself against the chair, needing support. “All right, tell me everything.”

Leah lowered her head and whispered, “I doubt if I can, but I will tell you what you need to know, okay?”

At Jocelyn’s nod of understanding, Leah began talking. “You know Reese and Neil never got along. Everyone wondered why Dad even hired Neil because he was nothing but a drifter and he was always causing trouble. Well, Dad finally fired him but I didn’t know it. Late that same afternoon I went to the construction site looking for Reese. I wanted to tell him that I had decided to accept his marriage proposal and would go to a cooking school around here and wouldn’t be moving to California after all.”

A tear fell down Leah’s cheek, joining the others. “I arrived at the job site, thinking the work crew was supposed to be there, working on Alyssa Calhoun’s home. Instead I found Neil there, gathering up his stuff. I didn’t know Dad had fired him just a few hours earlier. Neil claimed Reese was downstairs in the basement, finishing up something and stupid me, I went looking for him.”

Jocelyn felt her sister’s palms getting sweaty, but she held them tighter, refusing to let them escape her grasp. “And when he got me alone in the basement, he raped me and dared me to tell Dad or Reese. He said if I did he would deny it and convince Reese I went along with it.”

“Reese would never have believed him, Leah, you know that.”

“Yes, but nothing could erase the shame I felt after being taken like an animal on that floor. I felt humiliated, disgraced and dishonored. Reese had been the only man ever to touch me and I felt dirty and unworthy of him.”

“So instead of telling anyone what happened, you left town,” Jocelyn said, knowing that was exactly what her sister had done.

“Yes. If Reese had found out the truth, he would have killed Neil, if Dad didn’t get to him first. And I couldn’t let that happen. Neither could I stand the thought of going to the police, pressing charges and facing the humiliation of Neil claiming it wasn’t rape. You remembered what happened to Connie Miller when she claimed that one of the Banks boys raped her. She became the town’s spectacle and eventually she and her family left disgraced.”

Yes, Jocelyn remembered. Everyone had known that Ronnie Banks had done it, but the Bankses had had enough money to make Ronnie the victim instead of Connie.

“But it didn’t necessarily have to turn out that way for you, Leah,” Jocelyn said, though she clearly understood why her sister would have thought otherwise. Although Neil had been a drifter with no family ties to the area, it still would have been his word against hers. And with him being the troublemaker that he’d been, and with his intense dislike of Reese, he would have loved to make it seem that Leah had practically begged for it.

It was through sheer will that Jocelyn didn’t curse the ground the man was buried under. “If he weren’t already dead I would find him and kill him.”

Leah’s trembling hands went still at the same moment she sucked in a deep breath. “Neil Grunthall is dead?” she asked in a shocked voice.

Jocelyn lifted a brow. “Yes, didn’t you know? But then there was no way that you would have since you left town that same night. He left town drunk and drove to that tavern on the outskirts of town and got even drunker. It’s my understanding that he was speeding, hit a tree and was killed instantly.”

Leah hung her head and said softly, “I never knew that. The few times I came home I could never fix my lips to say his name to ever ask about him. It took me years just trying to deal with being a rape victim before admitting I needed help. I finally went to a victim assistance program and I discovered what I felt wasn’t unusual. A rape victim feels ashamed, weak and wounded, and unless they get help they will continue to feel that way. The program I got into has helped me to come to terms with what Neil did, but I have some ways to go before fully recovering. Even to this day I haven’t been able to let another man touch me intimately.”

“Oh, Leah,” Jocelyn said, tightening her hand around Leah’s. “You shouldn’t have gone through that alone. Even if you didn’t want to confide in Reese and Dad, then what about me? You could have come to me.”

Leah shook her head. “No, I couldn’t have, Jocelyn. You were the one who always did the right thing. You would have gone straight to Dad and told him what happened and I couldn’t risk you doing that. Neil was crazy and there was no way I was going to tell Dad or Reese what he’d done.”

For a long moment neither of them said anything, and then Jocelyn quietly asked the question she needed to know. “Are you going to tell Reese?”

Leah met her sister’s intense stare and shook her head. “No. I still can’t stand the thought of Reese ever finding out what happened, Jocelyn, and I don’t want his pity. This is something I have to overcome in my own way and time. Like I told you earlier, I can’t stand the thought of a man touching me that way. I can barely tolerate the times I have to visit the doctor for my physicals. Besides, I hurt Reese in a way he would never forgive me for.”

“Yes, but if knew the truth about why you left, then he—”

“No, Jocelyn, I won’t tell him. It doesn’t matter now because I can’t ever be that way with a man again even if he did understand. So it doesn’t matter. I won’t tell him and I want you to promise me that you won’t ever tell him, either.”

Jocelyn turned her head and gazed out the window. She knew how much Leah leaving without a word had hurt Reese, so much, in fact, that he had left town for a couple of years to get over it. Once he had served time in the army he had returned, and barely ever mentioned Leah’s name. Jocelyn had been nervous as to what his reaction would be upon seeing Leah again at their father’s funeral. She had watched him, had studied his expression the exact moment Leah had walked into the church. Jocelyn had seen the pain and the hurt that was still there, that five years hadn’t fully erased.

“Jocelyn, you have to promise me.”

Jocelyn turned and met her sister’s pleading gaze. Then she remembered the reason Leah hadn’t come to her the night she’d been raped was that she’d known that no matter what, Jocelyn would have done the right thing and told her father anyway. There was no way she would have let Neil get away with hurting her sister.

And although she didn’t agree with what Leah was asking her to do, it was her sister’s decision to make, and she would do as she asked. “I promise. I won’t tell Reese, but I’m hoping that one day you will.”

There weren’t too many places to go in Newton Grove when you wanted to get away for a spell, but Jocelyn was determined to find one.

When she came to a traffic light she stopped and rubbed the bridge of her nose with her fingertips, recalling what Leah had shared with her at dinner. Each time she thought of her sister being powerless under the hands of Neil Grunthall, she literally felt sick to her stomach. And to think Leah had endured alone the humiliation of being raped.

She sighed, feeling tears sting her eyes. Now everything made sense and she felt angry with herself for not having known something hadn’t been right. Before she’d disappeared, Leah had stopped talking about leaving Newton Grove. In fact her relationship with Reese had grown that much more serious. But Leah hadn’t shared with Jocelyn her decision to marry Reese. If she had, then Jocelyn would have known for certain that something was wrong when she just up and left town.

After dinner she and Leah had tidied up the kitchen together, then, as if she’d needed to be alone, Leah had taken a shower and gone to bed early. Jocelyn had needed to go somewhere and take out her anger and frustration on someone, anyone, and for the past hour had been riding around town trying to cool down.

It was times like this that she missed her dad something awful. He would have known just what to say to Leah. Then there was the issue of Leah not telling Reese. Jocelyn thought Leah was making a big mistake by not doing so.

Not having any particular place to go, but knowing she wasn’t ready to return home yet, she turned the corner toward the office where Mason Construction was located.

Jocelyn’s hands tightened on the steering wheel when she pulled into the yard and slipped into the space right next to a car already there. She recognized the dark-blue sedan and immediately the anger she had tried cooling for the past hour rushed back in full force. What was Sebastian Steele doing at the Mason Construction office at nine o’clock at night?

Barely waiting for her car to come to a complete stop, she quickly unsnapped her seatbelt and then yanked open the car door. There couldn’t be that many files that he had to go over to be practically spending the night here. Angrily, she grabbed her purse before slamming the car door shut. Just what was he looking for in those files anyway?

When she reached the top step, she could see through the glass door his profile as he sat at the conference table, and without even thinking of surprising him, she snatched open the door and then slammed it shut.

He turned from the papers he’d been reading and looked at her. And at that moment she wished he hadn’t. There was just something about those dark eyes whenever they lit on her that prompted an overpowering sensation to slide all the way up her spine. Of course she was imagining things but for a moment she thought she felt the floor move. Still, to retain her balance, in case she hadn’t imagined it at all, she tightened her fingers on the strap of her purse and placed pressure on the soles of her feet when he stood up.

He was wearing jeans and a black T-shirt. She hated admitting it, but he looked good in black. It did something to the darkness of his eyes and the tone of his complexion. Just looking at him was such a mind-boggling experience that for a moment she forgot what she was upset about. Until a half smile curved his lips.

Then she quickly remembered.

“What are you doing here, Bas?”

Instead of answering her, he said, “I’m curious about something, Jocelyn.”

At the moment she didn’t give a flip what he was curious about and was hoping her expression told him so. Evidently not, since he then added, “Are you always in such a pleasant mood?”

She gave him a stony look, one that could probably solidify cement in an instant. “You’re going to see just how pleasant I can be if you don’t answer my question. What are you doing here? This office closes at five o’clock.”

His smile widened. “My work hours aren’t dictated by a clock. And as to what I’m doing, I’m still working.”

She glanced at the papers spread out on the table and the stack of files on one of the chairs. She then looked back at him. “Why?”

He lifted a brow. “Why what?”

“Why are you here working this time of night? And not only that, why do you feel the need to? You just got here a week ago.”

“Let’s just say I’m an eager beaver. I believe in getting the job done.”

Angrily, she shook her head and said, “But there isn’t a job here to do. You can go through whatever you want, but you’ll find everything is in order. Like I’ve said, there is no reason for you to be here.”

“And my response to that is still the same,” he said, taking his seat back at the table. “Evidently your father thought otherwise.”

That statement, as usual, triggered Jocelyn’s anger to the boiling point. She crossed the room and slapped her hands, palms down, on the table and leaned in toward him. Their lips were within inches of touching.

She opened her mouth to speak, but he beat her to it. “Be careful about getting too close, Jocelyn. I’m liable to bite.” And then in an even lower voice, he added, “I’m also known to lick, nibble, taste, sample. Should I go on?”