Читать книгу Sleeping with the Sheikh - Brenda Jackson - Страница 14

He had sworn never to hurt Andrea again, yet that’s exactly what he had done by acting as though touching her had meant nothing. In reality it had meant everything.

On the return home the silence in the car had been stifling, and as soon as they pulled up in the drive, Andrea had gathered her belongings and exited the car without speaking. Only, she had not returned to the house. But Sam knew precisely where she had gone.

He could not let so much go unsaid between them. He would need to attempt once more to explain why he could promise her nothing. Perhaps he should tell her about his impending marriage to Maila so she would understand his resistance. Though the young woman meant nothing to him, he felt honor bound to his commitment. He doubted Andrea would understand, yet she needed to hear the truth.

As he set out on the path that led through the fields, the air was heavy with mist, almost stifling, and so were his thoughts as he silently rehearsed what he would say to Andrea. But when he came upon her seated on the blanket facing the pond, her elbows resting on bent knees and her beautiful face cast in the light of a half-moon, everything he had thought to say vanished.

Quietly he came up behind her and dropped to his knees, then circled his arms around her. “I knew I would find you here.”

When she shuddered, he wondered if he should let her go. Instead he held her tighter. “Are you cold?” he asked.

“No. I’m just having a strong sense of déjà vu.”

Sam moved around to face her and took her hands into his. He was uncertain where to begin but decided seven years ago would be an appropriate place to start. “I am sorry for leaving you without an explanation after Paul’s funeral. I feared that if you’d asked me to stay, I wouldn’t have been strong enough to deny you, and I knew that I must.”

She turned her face to the stars. “Let’s not go there tonight, Sam. You did what you thought you had to do.”

He drew in a sharp breath. “I do also wish to apologize for my behavior in the car. It was unfair to you.”

Inclining her head, she surveyed him a moment with soulful blue eyes. “You’ve told me all along that you don’t want me, so you have nothing to be sorry for.”

He released a frustrated sigh. “I do want you. I have never stopped wanting you.”

Her expression brightened somewhat, yet she still looked wounded. “You have a strange way of showing it.”

He attempted a smile. “I thought it was quite evident.”

Finally Andrea’s smile returned, a smile that had stayed with him over many days. Would stay with him always. “Okay, so maybe it was a little obvious.” Her features went solemn once again. “But that’s just a physical reaction, Sam. It doesn’t really mean anything.”

Framing her face in his palms, he said, “You have no idea how much you mean to me. How much you have always meant to me. But I cannot promise you anything.”

“I told you I don’t expect any promises.” She pulled his hand away and held it against her breast. “Life is so very short. No one can predict what will happen tomorrow. We both know that. I’m only asking for here and now. I just want to be with you. And when it’s over, then we’ll both move on with our lives knowing that we’ve found some joy in each other one more time.”

Sam considered what she was saying and then considered his marriage contract. Arrangement, he corrected. Only verbal to this point. His father had called because of that impending contract. Maila’s father was growing impatient with his absence, a greedy man willing to sell his daughter into a union for the sake of finances.

Maila was several years younger and a virtual stranger to Sam. The two times they had met, she had barely spoken to him and only then to give her vow that she would try to produce a son although he sensed that prospect wasn’t all that appealing to her. But Sam already had a son—a cherished child mothered by a woman for whom he cared deeply. A woman who now offered herself to him without condition. At the moment all he could consider was forgetting his obligations and turning his attention to that woman one last time.

“Are you certain you want this, Andrea?”

“Are you saying you’re willing to consider it?”

“As I told you before, I fear hurting you.”

“You’ll only hurt me if you keep acting as if there’s nothing going on between us, if you deny me this opportunity to be with you again in every way.”

“Are you not worried that I will disappoint you?”

Rising from the blanket, she began once more to undo her blouse and slipped it completely away. She then removed her shorts and panties, leaving her cloaked only by the night. “Do I look worried to you?”

“No. You look exquisite.” And she did, more captivating than he remembered. Priceless perfection. All his, if he so chose.

Heat surged through him and settled in his groin. A deep, abiding heat that made him hard and desperate to be inside her once more. That frantic need forced all consideration of the consequences from his brain. He only knew that he could no longer resist her.

Coming to his feet, he stood before her and tugged his shirt over his head. When he reached for the snap on his fly, Andrea stopped him with a gentle hand. “Let me do it. You didn’t give me the opportunity last time. In fact, I recall we didn’t completely remove our clothes.”

“True, but we were in a hurry.”

She slid his zipper down slowly. “Not tonight.”

When she had him completely undressed, they continued to stare at each other in the muted light until Sam could stand it no longer. He reached for her and she moved easily into his embrace. He held her a long while, relishing the soft feel of her bare skin against his raging body. Then he kissed her with all the yearning he felt in his soul, with all the need he had harbored since that final moment they were together seven years ago.

The kiss born of emotion soon turned to a kiss of sheer desire. Andrea pressed harder against him, meeting his tongue thrust for blessed thrust. Determined to show her more pleasure, he broke the kiss and settled his lips on her delicate throat then worked his way downward.

She sighed as he plied her breasts with tender kisses. She whimpered as he bent and traced a damp path down her belly with his tongue. She moaned as he fell to his knees and took her with his mouth.

With her hands gripped tightly in his hair, she swayed slightly as he explored the soft folds with his tongue, holding fast to her hips to steady her. But with every sound that escaped her lips, every tremor that ran through her body, he, too, began to feel unsteady. When she tensed and her breathing halted, Sam slipped a finger inside her to prolong her climax, to experience with his own hands the pleasure she now enjoyed.

As her knees began to buckle, he pulled her down onto the blanket and rocked her gently until she seemed to calm.

“That was—” she drew in a broken breath “—remarkable.”

He stroked her hair and pressed a kiss against her forehead. “I very much wanted to do that the first time we were together.”

“Why didn’t you?” she asked, her words muffled against his shoulder.

“I did not want to overwhelm you.”

She laughed softly. “I would have definitely been overwhelmed.” Pulling away from him, she nudged his chest. “Lie back.”

He complied, no longer able to withstand even her slightest command. She set a course down his body with her warm lips, driving him insane with desire when he realized what she intended.

As she reached the plane of his belly below his navel, he laid a hand on her silky hair. “This is not necessary, Andrea.”

She raised her head and showed him a determined look. “For me it is. But just so you know, I’ve never done this before, so you’ll have to be patient.”

That pleased Sam, knowing she had not had such intimacy with another man. It also forced every thought from his mind when she took him into the silken heat of her mouth and tested its limits. Perhaps she had no experience, but Sam would be hard-pressed to believe that at the moment. She was handling the challenge quite well. He only wished he could say the same for himself.

Nearing the edge, he pulled her head up and kissed her once more. Then he rolled her over and poised himself to enter her. But before he could sink into her, she said, “No.”

Sam sighed. “Have you suddenly changed your mind?”

“I’ve almost lost my mind. We’re forgetting something. Again. As much as I love Chance, I don’t think it’s a good idea to give him a brother or sister.”

Sam rolled onto his back, laid an arm over his eyes and cursed his stupidity. How could he be so careless a second time? How could he almost disregard something so very important? Because his only thoughts were of Andrea and making love to her.

“I’ll take care of it,” she said in a whisper, and before he realized she had moved, he felt her sheath him. “It’s okay now,” she said quietly.

Sam removed his arm and found her staring at him expectantly, waiting for him to take the next step. He vowed he would not disappoint her.

When Sam pulled Andi back into his arms, she experienced a rush of anticipation. Everything in her life seemed to have come down to this one moment, this reunion of bodies and souls with this one man.

He rolled her to her back and nudged her legs apart with his leg, then entered her with an easy thrust. She had a strong sense of being where she belonged, so close to this man who had lived within her heart for almost a decade.

He moved once more and seated himself deep inside her. A steady moan climbed up her throat and slipped out between her parted lips.

Sam stilled against her. “Have I hurt you?”

“Not in the least.” Not yet. But he would when he left again.

“Good. You feel better than I remember,” he said with a soft kiss on her brow, his voice strained with his effort to speak.

“So do you,” she said, then tilted her hips up to take him completely inside her body. As he set a steady rhythm, she tried to memorize the moments, every incredible sensation, Sam’s face as it showed the tension of a man trying to maintain control. How she could relate to that. Right now the bliss of this union was almost more than she could bear without giving in to tears of elation.

“Come with me,” Sam murmured, then pulled her over so they faced each other, her leg draped over his hip, their eyes connected as well as their bodies.

“I’m with you,” she whispered, and she was. At least for now.

Never in all her imaginings did she ever believe this would happen again. Never did she think that Sam would be making love to her once more, touching her inside and out, drawing another incredible climax from her as he quickened the pace.

She clung to his solid shoulders, held on as if to never let him go. He whispered to her softly in both English and Arabic, heightening the erotic quality of the night and this act. And with one final thrust, he said her name over and over as she relished his climax as well as her own.

The night sounds surrounding them seemed to stop, or maybe it was only Andi’s imagination. But she hadn’t imagined Sam, the power of his body, the gentleness of his touch, the way he had loved her as if she did mean something to him.

She turned onto her back, breaking the intimate connection between them. She needed to regroup, assess what had happened to her resolve to avoid any emotional entanglement.

How could she have been such an idiot? How could she have believed that by letting him back inside her body, she’d push him out of her heart when she had only drawn him further in?

Sam came up on one bent elbow and braced his cheek on his palm as she stared at the night sky. “Have I disappointed you, Andrea?”

She glanced at him and smiled, though she felt like crying. “No. Not at all.” If only he had disappointed her, then she wouldn’t be facing such a predicament.

“Perhaps you are wishing on stars again?”

She sighed. “I don’t do that anymore, Sam.” She had learned long ago that nothing could be gained by such a frivolous activity. She was in charge of her destiny now, at least where Sam was concerned. No matter how wonderful the experience had been, she needed to stay grounded and remember this was only a temporary thing between her and the prince. She couldn’t do that with her head off somewhere in the galaxy.

He drew lazy circles around her breasts, and darned if she wasn’t reacting as if he had yet to touch her. “Do you not have dreams any longer?”

Oh, she had them. She just refused to buy in to any of them that dealt with what could never be. “I want to be the best horse trainer the racing world has ever known.”

“Much like your father?”

“Daddy was good at what he did, but he never aspired to be the best,” Andi replied, more than willing to discuss anything except what had just happened.

“People will know that you are the best,” he said adamantly.

She released a humorless laugh. “If you say so.”

“They will if I have a say in the matter.”

Her gaze zipped to his, fueled by a burst of pride and a spear of anger. “I can do it on my own, Sam. I have to make a name for myself, by myself. It’s the only way I’ll earn it.”

“And you will not accept my help?”

“You’ve already done enough by letting me train your filly.”

“She is yours when I leave, Andrea.”

Great. A consolation prize. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I already have, and I will arrange—at my expense—for her to race when you feel she is ready.”

“If you insist that she stay here, I’d like her to belong to Chance.”

“As you wish.”

Sitting up, she reached for her discarded clothes and began to dress again, before she told him that she loved the horse but she loved him more. Before she did something really crazy like beg him to stay.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“I imagine Tess is wondering where we are.”

“I imagine she has already retired to bed, considering the late hour.”

Andi slipped on her panties and shorts then stood. Seeing Sam stretched out on his back still gloriously naked, his dark skin contrasting with the pale-blue blanket, made Andi almost reconsider her departure. But she had to regain her emotional bearings.

Bending down, she retrieved his shorts and tossed them at him. “Put these on, Your Highness. Tess doesn’t take too kindly to naked men in her kitchen.”

His grin lit up the night. “How do we know that she has not had a naked man in her kitchen?”

Andi groaned. “I don’t even want to go there.” She thought about what Tess had told her the day before. “I guess you probably know that she and Riley are finally getting married.”

“Actually, no.”

That surprised Andi. Tess had been an open book since Sam’s reappearance. “Well, they are in a few weeks.” She sighed. “I can’t even imagine Tess being away from the farm.”

“They will not live here?” Sam asked.

“They plan on traveling the country.”

“You will miss her terribly,” he said, a simple statement of fact.

“Of course I will. So will Chance. But we’ll manage,” she said, although she wasn’t sure how. Yet somehow she had always managed the losses in her life, only this time she would feel truly abandoned, especially after Sam left.

“Perhaps you would like me to turn your thoughts to more pleasant things,” he said, as if he had somehow tuned in to her mind. Before she could prepare, he tugged her back down against him, amazed to find he was already aroused. And she was more than willing to forget all the sadness, all the tough times to come, in his welcoming arms.

“You’re not going to tickle me, are you?” she asked with mock exasperation.

“Not in the way you might imagine, but I’m certain I will find some means to make you feel better.”

When he nuzzled her neck, she said, “A good prince is hard to find,” feeling lightheaded and lighthearted in his arms. “Or maybe it is the other way around.”

“Perhaps we should find out.”

Once again Andi’s clothes ended up on the nearby grass. And in very little time, Sam had her clinging and gasping and praising his skill.

Too much, she thought as he guided her back to a paradise of his own making. Too little.

Never enough.

Sam stood over Andrea and watched her while she continued to sleep completely unaware he was keeping vigil. He’d been up for hours, had already tended to the horses since he had decided to allow her the luxury of spending extra time in bed. After last night she deserved the added rest.

Silently he admonished himself for his weakness. Scolded himself for not feeling as guilty as he should after making love to her well into the early hours of the morning. Yet he had no regrets except one—their time together was limited.

Seating himself on the edge of the bed, he continued to observe Andrea lying on her belly, still beautifully naked and his to behold a few moments longer. He recalled each and every detail of the night before, unearthed all the feelings for her that should be buried with the past. Yet they were not, nor would they ever be even if miles once again separated him from her.

He glanced at his watch and noted the time. Now nearing 10:00 a.m., he thought it best to wake her or, no doubt, suffer her wrath. Moving closer, he traced his finger down the curve of her spine and onto her buttock. She stirred a little and a sleepy sigh escaped her lips. But he couldn’t discern if her eyes had opened, since her hair covered her face in a tangled disarray to match the twisted sheets.

She finally lifted her head, pushed her hair back and regarded him over one shoulder. “What time is it?”

“Time for you to be up and about, I’m afraid.”

She rolled onto her back without concern for her nudity. Sam, on the other hand, was very concerned, considering what she was doing to him at that moment. What she had been doing to him since the day of his return.

After glancing at the clock, she sat up with a start. “My gosh, I’ve wasted most of the day.”

“You needed your sleep.”

Blessedly she smiled. “I guess so, considering I was up most of the night, thanks to you.”

He leaned and kissed her softly on the lips. “No. Many thanks to you.”

She stretched and draped her arms around his neck. “I think I used parts of my body that I haven’t used in years.”

“Then you are in pain?”

“Nice pain. Very nice.”

Unable to help himself, he kissed her throat and couldn’t resist kissing her breasts. “Perhaps I should do something to alleviate that pain.”

“Sorry. We don’t have time for that now,” she said, then bolted out of the bed, leaving Sam alone to deal with his own discomfort and the emotional wall she had seemed to raise.

After slipping on her robe, she faced him. “I have to put Sunny through some more ground work if I’m going to have her saddled by the end of the month.”

Just as well, he decided. If he had his way, they would stay in bed all day without regard for their responsibilities. How easy that would be, now that he had rediscovered the pleasure of making love with Andrea. But he could not disregard what he had to do, not only today but also in a matter of weeks, as much as he would like to forget what awaited him at home. “Riley is in the barn. He’s agreed to assist me in making it more serviceable.”

She grabbed a brush from the dresser and ran it through her hair with a vengeance. “I can’t afford to pay Riley.”

“I will see to that.”

Tossing the brush aside, she simply said, “Fine, I’m heading to the shower,” then left through the door.

Sam was shocked she had not protested his financial offer. Perhaps she was finally beginning to see that his money could only aid in her future and that of their son’s.

When he again returned to the stable a few moments later, he discovered that Riley had almost finished removing the old bedding from the first stall in preparation to replace the rubber matting beneath.

Riley looked up and leaned against his shovel, then stroked his too-long mustache. “Andi still sawin’ logs?”

Sam frowned. “She is awake at the moment.”

He chuckled and scooped another shovelful of bedding into the wheelbarrow. “I forget you don’t always understand the language. Guess it’s because I remember the way it used to be when Paul was still around. You were more loose back then. Relaxed. Even the way you talked.”

That was before he had carried the weight of a kingdom on his shoulders. “I have been away for a long time.”

An uncomfortable silence hung between them until Riley spoke again. “Did Andi tell you about me and Tess deciding to get hitched?”

“Yes. Last night. Congratulations to you both.”

“Tess told me you’re about to do the same come end of the summer.”

“It has been arranged.”

“That’s a strange way of putting it.”

Sam saw it exactly as it was, an arrangement. No emotional ties. No vows of love. “I prefer you not speak of this to Andrea until I have a chance to inform her.”

Riley lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “That’s your business, I guess, but I’m thinkin’ she deserves to know.” He appeared to go back to work, but before Sam could leave to gather more wood to brace the stalls, Riley stopped his departure. “You know, Andi’s dad was a good friend of mine.”

Sam paused and faced the open stall once more. “I remember.” He wondered where the conversation might be leading, yet he suspected it would come in the form of a lecture.

“I think he would’ve liked you a lot.”

Sam had not bargained for that presumption. “It is my understanding he was a very good man.”

“The best. And he thought the sun rose and set in Andi. Now, I’m not saying he didn’t love the boy because he did. But Paulie was more like his mother than Bob—into book learning and that sort of thing.” Riley smiled. “Andi was just like her dad, and the apple of his eye. According to him, she could do no wrong.”

Sam greatly related to that. “She is a good woman.”

“Yep, which is why I have to say something to you.”

Exactly as Sam suspected. “I am listening.”

Riley raked off his cap and forked a hand through his silver hair, then shoved it back on his head. “Chance is a good kid. He deserves the best. He deserves a dad like Andi’s. I’ve tried to be there for him, to teach him what I know and that ain’t too much. But I’m too old to keep up, which is why I’m telling you that if you can’t fill those shoes, then maybe you should consider stepping aside to let Andi find someone who can be there for him all the time.”

Sam silently cursed Riley’s interference, but he understood that it came out of protectiveness for Andrea and Chance. He also realized there was much logic in his assertions. “I will consider your advice.”

“That’s good. But I also know how hard it is to ignore a woman like Andi. Tess is much the same. Strong-willed, hard-headed, wild but in some real nice ways. It’s not easy to let that kind of woman go.”

Yet that’s exactly what Sam had to do—let her go. He’d known that all along. He had known getting involved with her again would be a grave mistake. But he had become involved, and now he would have to deal with severing their emotional ties when the time came.

“I promise that whatever I decide to do about my son, it will be best for all concerned.”

“I’m counting on that, Sam.” Riley set the shovel aside and wiped his hands on his jeans. “I’ve got to go do a few things back at the Hammonds’ place, but I’ll be back at sundown.”

“I will try to finish this stall before you return.”

“You do that.”

Sam stepped aside and allowed him to exit, but before he reached the open door, Riley turned once again. “And one more thing, Sam. Since I was Andi’s dad’s best friend, I want you to know that I’m standing in for him.” He pointed a crooked finger. “And if you hurt her, you’ll have to answer to me.”

With that he was gone, leaving Sam to ponder his words. He had no intention of hurting Andrea, if he could avoid it. But the closer they became, the more the risk increased that he again would shatter her heart. And most likely do a great deal of damage to his own.