Читать книгу The Cowboy's Holiday Blessing - Brenda Minton - Страница 12

Chapter Four

Madeline didn’t quite know what to say, not with Travis staring from Jackson to Jade and then to her. She wanted to lift her hands and back away. She wanted to explain to them all that this family drama didn’t belong to her. But the girl standing next to her, what happened to her if Madeline took the quickest exit from the situation?

Common sense told her that someone else would step in. If she left, Jackson would have to turn to his family for help. She looked up, caught him watching her, probably wondering the same thing she’d caught herself wondering. Why in the world was she here? He grinned and winked.

Someday she’d regret this moment, the moment she decided not to walk away. But the past had to be conquered. She couldn’t spend her life running from the fear. Standing there looking at Jackson Cooper, all of that fear, rational and irrational, rushed in, pummeling her heart.

She took a deep breath and Jade reached for her hand, holding her in that spot.

“Travis, maybe it’s time for you to go.” Jackson slapped his little brother on the back. “And if you can, keep your mouth shut.”

Travis tipped his hat. “Will do, brother. If I can.”

“Try. Real hard.”

Travis laughed as he walked away. Madeline watched him go and then she couldn’t ignore Jackson any longer. He stood in front of her, an imposing six feet of strength, muscle and charm.

She watched Jade’s retreating back as she followed the dog into the stable. Madeline fought back the urge to run, because running was easy. Something had clicked in Sunday services a few weeks ago, about facing life with God’s strength, not our own. If she couldn’t be strong on her own, she could be strong, more than a conqueror, with God.

“Jackson, I know this isn’t easy. I think the sooner you tell your family the better.”

“I’m going to do that. It isn’t as if I’m a kid who’s afraid to go home and tell his dad he messed up. I’ve messed up plenty in my life, Madeline. I know exactly who and what I am.”

That’s good, because she didn’t know him or what exactly he was. He could be charming and funny. He helped a woman pick up her spilled canned goods. He always showed up first when a neighbor needed help. The tornado last spring had been an example of that. He’d worked tirelessly on homes that were damaged. He’d hauled food and water to people trying to rebuild their lives.

She’d admired that about him. Admired him from a distance, of course. Distance kept a person safe.

“You’re a good person, Jackson.” The words slipped out, honest but ugh, so embarrassing once they were said. She looked away, seeking Jade, making sure the girl hadn’t decided to climb on a bull or a wild horse.

Jackson stared at her for a long minute and then he smiled.

“Madeline, I think that’s about the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.”

“I doubt that. But honestly, about Jade…”

He glanced at his watch. “What are you doing here so early?”

“We got out at noon today. I forgot to tell you that earlier.”

“Right, a holiday?”

“For the kids. A planning day for teachers.” She started toward the barn, drawn by the whinny of a horse and laughter. Jackson walked next to her. She glanced up at him. “What are you going to do?”

“I’m not sure. I can’t find any information on her mother’s death. And I emailed a friend in law enforcement. She hasn’t been reported missing.”

Madeline stopped walking. “So where do you think her mother is?”

He didn’t have a clue. “Maybe she’s the one that’s missing? I might have to drive to Enid. I’m going to keep searching because I’m starting to think she’s not actually from Enid.”

“You think?”

“What, you came to that conclusion first?”

She smiled because the look on his face said he clearly didn’t think she could think of it first. “The thought had crossed my mind. I think there’s far more to her story than she’s telling.”

“The guy is always the last to know.” He motioned her inside the stable ahead of him.

Madeline loved barns of all kinds, but this one took the cake. Shadowy and smelling of hay and horses, it stretched from stalls to a wide aisle that led into the arena. Country music played softly and Jade stood in front of a stall petting a pretty black mare.

The girl smiled at Jackson, hazel eyes glittery and full of light. “She’s a beautiful horse.”

“I thought so.” Jackson walked up next to the girl. “After she settles down I’ll let you ride her.”

“I’ve never ridden a horse.” Jade’s voice came out breathless and wistful.

“I guess that’s something we’ll take care of.” Jackson turned to smile at Madeline and she felt a little wistful, too. “What about you, Ms. Patton?”

“I’ve ridden a few times with Andie Johnson.”

Jade stepped back from the horse who had her head down, munching hay. “Why don’t you have a Christmas tree?”

Jackson blinked at the rapid change of topics. Madeline nearly laughed because he clearly needed to adjust to how a teenage girl’s brain worked. He didn’t understand that a girl like Jade could have a dozen or more things going on in her mind at once.

“I guess ’cause I don’t need one.”

Jade’s mouth opened at that revelation. “You have to have a Christmas tree. How can you have Christmas without a tree?”

Jackson shrugged. “Because I go to my parents’ house and they have a tree.”

Madeline didn’t want to jump in but Jade turned, clearly intending to pull her in.

“Do you have a tree?” Jade asked, her attention now on Madeline.

“I have a little one.” Pitiful, really. She had a pink tree with silver ornaments. It had seemed like a good idea at the time because it came pre-decorated.

Now a pink Christmas tree just seemed wrong.

“Christmas isn’t about a tree.” Jackson stepped in, almost defensive.

Jade blew out, obviously disgusted. “I think I know that. The tree isn’t what Christmas is all about, but it kind of makes me think more about the holiday.”

“We’ll get a tree.” Jackson herded them toward the door of the barn. “Tomorrow.”

Madeline thought about tomorrow, the day she planned on baking bread, decorating her house and then working on finishing touches at the Dawson Community Center’s living nativity. She also needed to run to town and buy ingredients for candy.

“We can drive my truck out to the back pasture and find a decent cedar. And if Madeline needs a tree, we can cut her one, too.”

“I really don’t.” Madeline stiffened when his hand went to her back, lingered and then moved away. When she glanced at him his hands were in his pockets and his smile had disappeared.

“Of course you do.” He looked down at her. “We’ll cut down trees and then we’ll come back here for hot chocolate and cookies.”

Jade’s face lit up. “Perfect.”

Madeline wanted to disagree. Perfect would be how she’d describe her life before this morning, before being invaded by the two Coopers standing next to her. Perfect would be her little pink tree being left alone and her heart not hammering out the tune “Meet Me Under the Mistletoe.”

She didn’t want those thoughts, those dangerous-to-her-heart thoughts. She didn’t want to be afraid. Of what, she asked herself. Afraid of rejection? Afraid he’d hurt her? Or worse.

Always worse.

God’s strength. She reminded herself that she could do this, she could face her fears. She could be the strong person she sometimes knew existed inside her.

Tomorrow should be good enough to start on being strong. Today she had to deal with her emotions tumbling inside her, mocking her because she’d thought she had them locked up tight.

Jade and Jackson were still talking and laughing, discussing the plan for tomorrow. She wanted to explain that she already had plans. Instead she chose escape.

“I should go. I need to get some stuff done at my house before our big adventure tomorrow.”

Jade walked away from the horse but her gaze lingered on the animal, and then turned to Jackson. Of course she wanted to stay with him. Madeline understood that. But Jade, like so many kids that Madeline knew who were used to disappointment, brushed it off. She raised her chin a notch, shrugged, and let it go.

Still, it had to hurt. Even if she knew how to pretend none of this bothered her, on the inside, where it counted, Madeline knew Jade had to be afraid.

Worse, she seemed to be counting on Madeline for strength and for guidance.

“What are you going to do for the rest of the day?” Jackson leaned against a stall door and she figured it had to be holding him up.

“Is there something you need?”

He grinned and winked. “A back rub would be good. Are you offering?”

“Do you ever stop?”

His smile faded. “Yeah, I do. I’m sorry for saying that. You might have to give me a few days to get the old Jackson under control.”

“Right, of course.”

“Do you think you’ll be going to town today?” Jackson reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet.

“I had planned on picking up Christmas decorations in Grove. Why?”

“Because I thought I’d give you money for groceries since you’ve got another mouth to feed. And she might need some clothes and a warmer coat.”

“I’m fine. You don’t have to worry about me.” Jade moved to stand next to Madeline, her shoulders squared and stiff. “I’m good at taking care of myself.”

“I’m sure you are, Jade, but that isn’t necessary. You came looking for a family and this is what family does.” Jackson handed Madeline several bills and she folded the money and put it in her pocket.

“I can take her.” Madeline smiled at the girl standing next to her. “We can have fun shopping.”

Jade shrugged slim shoulders. “Okay, sure. So I’m leaving and I won’t see you until tomorrow?”

After a long pause, Jackson eased closer, taking stiff steps that Madeline hadn’t noticed earlier. She wondered if he was even supposed to be up, let alone doing chores.

“Jade, I want to spend time with you. We’re going to figure this whole mess out and I’m going to do my best to help you…”

“I don’t need help. I need a dad.”

His features softened. “I know, and I’m going to do my best to help you with that. But honestly, kid, I need to crash. I think my ribs are about to snap in two and my back kind of feels like a truck is sitting on it. Now that isn’t the toughest ‘dad’ kind of thing to admit. Especially in front of two women.” He smiled a tight smile. “But that’s the way it is.”

“Fine.” Jade stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek.

And something about him changed. Madeline watched his eyes and face shift and suddenly, Jackson Cooper became a dad. Or at least what she always imagined a dad would be if she’d had a real one.

“We should go.” Madeline reached for Jade. “What time tomorrow? And are you sure you don’t want me to bring something over for dinner tonight?”

“I think by nine in the morning.” Jackson winked at Jade before turning to smile at Madeline. “And don’t worry about me. I’m going to crash, and food is the last thing I want.”

They walked back to the house together, slowly. Jackson watched them get in the car and then he eased his way up the steps of the front porch and into the house. Madeline waited until he stepped through the door before she shifted into Reverse.

“You think he’s cute, don’t you?”

Madeline blinked a few times at the crazy question the teenager sitting next to her had asked. Jade smiled at what Madeline had hoped would be a warning look. Maybe she needed to work on that.

“Jackson doesn’t need for anyone to think he’s cute. He thinks it enough about himself.”

“Mmm-hmm.”

Let it go, her wise inner voice said. Let it go. She drove on down the road, back to her house. When they reached her place she pulled up to the mailbox.

“Could you reach in and get my mail?” She pulled close and rolled the window down for Jade.

“Sure.” Jade reached into the box and pulled out a few pieces of mail. Rather than handing it over she sifted through it. “Hey, a Christmas card from Marjorie Patton. Is that your sister or your mom?”

Madeline grabbed the mail and shoved it in her purse. “It’s no one.”

Jackson woke up in a dark living room, the dog at his feet growling. He groaned and tossed the pillow across the room. Twice in one day. In one long, long day. The doorbell chimed again and he pushed himself off the couch, groaning as he straightened, stretching the muscles in his back.

Things to do tonight: sleep in own bed.

“I’m coming, already.”

He threw the door open and immediately backed down. “Sir.”

His dad stood in the doorway, the look on his face a familiar one. At almost thirty-four, Jackson should be long past that look from anyone. But there it was, the “buddy, you’re in big trouble” look.

“Come in, I’ll put on a pot of coffee.”

Tim Cooper stomped the mud off his boots and stepped inside the house. “Smells like dog in here.”

“Yeah, the stupid dog refuses to sleep outside. Either he’s worried about me, or he just doesn’t like the cold. I’m going with the cold.”

“Probably. You’re walking like you’re eighty years old.”

“Yeah, well, I feel older than that.”

“What spooked that horse? Did you ever figure it out?”

They reached the kitchen and Jackson motioned for his dad to sit down while he filled the water reservoir on the coffeemaker and pushed the power button.

“I think it was a loose door banging in the wind. We both know that isn’t why you’re here.”

“I can be here for more than one reason. Your mom is worried because she tried to call and you didn’t answer.”

“I was dog-tired.”

“I told her you were probably asleep.”

Jackson reached for the bottle of painkillers on the counter and then he put them back. It wasn’t so bad he couldn’t walk it off. “And the other reason you’re here?”

“Travis has a big mouth.”

“Right, I figured as much. Something about the words ‘Travis, keep your mouth shut’ tends to loosen his mouth like an oiled hinge.”

His dad kind of laughed. He took his hat off and sat it on the table. “She isn’t yours?”

“Probably not.” Jackson sat down next to his dad. He fiddled with the stack of mail he’d left on the table earlier that day. “But my name is on her birth certificate.”

“Where’s her mom?”

“Your guess is as good as mine.” Jackson got up to make the coffee. He put a cup under the nozzle. “Black?”

“Yeah. Oh, your mom sent dinner. It’s in the truck and I’ll bring it in before I leave.”

“Thanks. You know, I’ll never learn to cook if she keeps feeding me.”

“She isn’t going to stop. I’ve tried. And she’s itching to fix this situation for you, too.”

Jackson set the two cups of coffee on the table. “I’ll fix this myself. The fewer people involved the better.”

“I don’t think your mom thinks that she’s one of the people who shouldn’t be involved. She said to tell you she’ll expect to see you tomorrow.”

“Give me a few days. I’m trying to figure this out without hurting Jade.”

“Is that her name?”

He nodded and took a sip of coffee. “Yeah, Jade Baker. I knew her mom. But you know…”

“Yeah. Might need to head to the doctor just to make sure.”

“I will. I’m not turning her out in the cold. I’m not going to call the state yet. I’m not going to have her in the system at Christmas.”

“Where is she?”

This is where it got tricky. He sipped his coffee and gave himself a minute. His dad answered his own question.

“Travis said Madeline Patton was up here today.”

“She was.”

“Madeline, huh?” Tim grinned kind of big, the way a man did when he’d raised a bunch of sons. “Not your normal cup of tea.”

“I’ve never been a tea person.”

“No, you haven’t.” Tim lifted his cup and finished off his coffee. “Don’t hurt her. If you don’t want big trouble with your mother, remember that people think of lot of Madeline.”

“I’m not chasing the schoolteacher, if that’s what you think.” He shook his head. “And I’m not eighteen years old. So thanks for the advice.”

Tim stood. He put a hand on Jackson’s shoulder. “She’s the kind of woman a guy marries.”

Yeah, that said it all. Put him in his place. Jackson, who had done his running around and then settled down on this farm with a dog and some livestock, had yet to outrun his reputation. It sure felt like he couldn’t do enough good deeds to undo what the people around here thought of him.

He stood to follow his dad out of the kitchen, and he couldn’t stop one last attempt at denial. “I’m not planning to marry Madeline Patton.”

His dad laughed. “When do things ever go the way we plan?”

“This is different. She’s helping with Jade.”

“Right, of course.” He slapped Jackson on the back. “Careful, son, the word never usually leads right where you never thought you’d go.”

Jackson stood on the front porch, thinking of all the times he’d said never. It wasn’t until his dad’s taillights disappeared that he remembered his dinner in that truck.

Fortunately he’d lost his appetite.