Читать книгу The Gaslighting of the Millennial Generation - Caitlin Fisher - Страница 14

The American Dream: having a home, a family with 2.5 kids, a dog, and a white picket fence. The stuff of Pleasantville and the ‘50s and housewives with dinner on the table when dad gets home from work. Maybe it was this way for our grandparents, but the new American Dream is more like having affordable health care, a therapist who takes you seriously, and being able to afford your expenses with only one job. When did the American Dream become a struggle to wake from the slog of reality?

Enter the Millennial troublemakers, screwing things up. We’re told that our wasteful and luxurious spending on hipster foods and specialty coffees prevents us from buying a home, but when faced with mountains of student loan debt and spending on necessities like shelter, running water, and medical care, it’s hard to find the wiggle room to save up an appropriate down payment. The wiggle room to treat yourself to a latte is much more feasible—and small treats are a normal part of human life, not an opportunity to victim-blame and heap responsibility for the entire economy on a group of young adults who just want a damn cup of coffee between jobs.

On top of a laundry list of skyrocketing living expenses without a comparable wage increase, we see predatory lending schemes that promise young first-time home buyers a zero-percent-down plan with an adjustable rate mortgage. This loan structure is a recipe for economic disaster and another housing crash that will be messier than a smashed avocado. These mortgages are a booming business due to the conventional wisdom that owning is always superior to renting; unfortunately, that’s not true at all. Owning a home comes with risks and expenses that renting doesn’t, and it’s just not wise to purchase a home based on fear and scare tactics from brokers who just want to make a buck before you figure out what they’re up to. It’s a far better plan to rent affordably while saving up for a modest home, and it has nothing to do with macchiatos.

A note about lattes: Starbucks does charge pretty exorbitant prices compared to a bottomless cup of joe at your average diner. But it’s also one of the few employers in the United States to offer comprehensive insurance coverage (medical, dental, and vision) to both full- and part-time employees, as well as a 401(k) with a company match, and a stock equity benefit, in addition to tuition assistance for continuing education and paid vacation time. Starbucks even has a dependent care reimbursement program to help employees pay for day care, life insurance, and disability insurance. But sure, let’s get grouchy about the fact that their holiday cups don’t have enough Jesus. This is obviously why houses are expensive and the minimum wage is a joke.

Defining the American Dream

The definition of this great dream depends on who you ask. Hearkening back to yesteryear, the American Dream was a promise of a better life in the United States. The tired, the poor, and the huddled masses were promised a new home where anything was possible if you were willing to work hard for it. For as long as there has been a United States of America, there has been a safe refuge for the disenfranchised—at least in theory.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines the American Dream as “a happy way of living that is thought of by many Americans as something that can be achieved by anyone in the US especially by working hard and becoming successful.” If we put our minds to it, live within our means, and work hard, we can achieve anything! If this sounds familiar to Millennials, it’s because it’s the classic refrain of our Boomer parents, who really could hope to achieve their goals with a little elbow grease. Spoiler alert: hard work doesn’t really cut it anymore.

Do any other aspects of the American Dream have us ready to face our future with a positive attitude? Why, yes!

The American Dream optimistically involves the desire to improve society for the next generation. It’s like camping—leave things in better shape than you found them. For the first several generations of (white) Americans, this was a feasible dream. Many generations have been able to see their children live longer, have better careers and lives, and continue down a path of improvement that first-generation immigrants set out to achieve.

Now it’s time for the million-dollar question: are Millennials doing better than their parents? Unfortunately, no. The Millennial Generation is facing shorter lifespans than generations past, in part due to chronic health conditions, drug addiction and overdose, suicide, and alcohol poisoning. This decrease in lifespan also affects the Baby Boomers, though not as starkly. According to Bloomberg’s recap of actuarial studies in the US, “the life expectancy for sixty-five-year-olds is now six months shorter than in last year’s actuarial study.”3 It turns out that the Boomers, Gen-Xers, and Millennials are all on a downward trend as far as lifespan goes.

Taking Care of Our Own

In the face of declining life expectancies and increased healthcare demand, what’s a country to do? Aren’t we one of the most developed and prosperous nations in the world? Of course we are, so why are our people dying, chronically ill, and choosing between keeping food on the table and going to the doctor?

The Guardian ran an article online in July 2017, titled, “How Does the US Healthcare System Compare with Other Countries?” which explores just that—how our spending and behavior around healthcare compares with the rest of the world.4 In one heartbreaking graph, titled “Spending compared with life expectancy,” the caption states, “The US was comparable to other developed countries until the early ‘80s, when healthcare expenditures accelerated and life expectancy rates fell behind.” So, not only do we spend more than other countries on our medical care, we’re dying sooner too. While other developed countries like Iceland, Australia, Japan, Norway, Switzerland, and the UK show a gradual increase in healthcare spending over time, the US took a sharp turn and is off in outlier la-la land with its fingers in its ears.

The overall health of Americans is on a decline, which is a pretty big deal. As programs like Medicaid and Medicare face government cutbacks, older generations have less access to reliable healthcare. And as insurance prices increase in general, the rest of us may have to choose between maintaining insurance and keeping a roof over our heads.

The decrease in income compared to inflation has drastically moved the goalposts of this great American Dream. While former generations could put in a forty-year career and retire by age sixty-five with the expectation of a comfortable retirement (and even Social Security), the younger generations don’t have that same level of expectation. If we can barely pay rent, how are we supposed to save for retirement? Or a home? How can we afford to put our kids in day care while we go to work?

Procreation also brings healthcare expenses and spending on new-baby essentials. Millennials tend to delay parenthood, with research indicating that the average age of a first-time mother in the United States has risen from between twenty-one and twenty-two in 1970 to roughly twenty-six in 2014.5 There’s an obvious correlation to modern feminism and access to contraception, as well as comprehensive sex education. However, there’s also the fact that many Millennials just don’t have the money for kids until later in their lives. Having a child means time off work, or even leaving the workforce, which can cause a huge financial hit that simply wasn’t as big a factor in prior generations. Running a household on a single income in 2019 is possible for a select and privileged few, but certainly not as feasible as it was when our parents were born.

The New American Dream

Some journalists posit that the Millennials’ take on the American Dream is a reimagining, while some declare it dead entirely and completely unachievable (whether due to avocado consumption or things like housing costs).

Jason Notte of The Street writes, “Millennials have redefined the American Dream” in a May 2017 piece, continuing, “Millennials haven’t given up on the American Dream: their expectation of it has evolved.”6 While Millennials still see the classic debt-free retirement with a paid-off house as a staple of the American Dream, they’re also adding things like travel and living abroad to their proverbial bucket lists. But, Notte points out, Millennials don’t always have the cash on hand to fund their wanderlust.

Millennials definitely enjoy travel, on the whole, and even living in another country for a while. But it appears that they don’t tend to stay away for long. Millennials still feel strongly tied to the idea of “settling down” and aren’t likely to leave town to move somewhere brand new over and over again. Notte’s article gives the following rundown on Millennial moving habits:

“Currently, Millennials only envision themselves packing up and moving to a new city, state or country fewer than two more times in their lives. Most (68 percent) even say they would prefer to build a life in one community, rather than live and work in multiple geographies. At this stage, 43 percent of Millennials have bought their homes, while 75 percent of non-homeowners say they could be motivated to buy a house.”

—Jason Notte

We live in an age when it’s increasingly easy for young adults to live in another country for months at a time through study-abroad programs at high schools and universities. There are even volunteer organizations that allow you to live in another country for a summer or longer. Friends of mine have spent summers or semesters in Scotland, Ireland, Mexico, and France, and my sister has done a summer volunteer program in Nicaragua and spent a semester in Spain.

Perhaps the ability to so casually leave home and explore other places is a factor of our tech-savvy generational habits. We can Skype, FaceTime, or video chat with our friends and relatives across the globe in an instant, and social media makes it simple to stay in touch no matter where in the world you wander. With such accessible travel and so many places to explore, it’s no wonder our younger generations are finding new ways to embrace new cultures and experiences.

The American Dream: Now with 80 Percent More Gaslighting

On a side note, can we take a moment to acknowledge that the American Dream is a perfectly gift-wrapped example of victim-blaming? If your life sucks, it’s because you didn’t want it enough, didn’t hustle enough, didn’t do everything in your power to keep up with the Joneses. When the American Dream is out here saying, “I’m so easy to attain if you just try hard enough!” then it’s all too easy to heap the blame on the people whose lives are in shambles.

We also need to acknowledge that this belief lets us distance ourselves from people who have it worse. We tend to believe it can never happen to us, because we’re focused on the dream and making it happen. But most Americans are one paycheck away from financial ruin, don’t have savings, and are trapped in a cycle of debt. And this is normal in our society. The American Dream romanticizes living beyond your means while pretending everything is fine. It’s toxic denial, and it’s time to wake up.

Killing the American Dream

Millennials did not have a big generational board meeting and decide to screw up the idea of owning a home and retiring comfortably. That would be a very silly thing to do, in an attempt to get one over on The Man. Rather, greed has killed the American Dream. Sky-high tuition costs and student loan rates have killed the American Dream. Subprime mortgages have killed the American Dream. The tradition of systemic racism and sexism in America have killed the American Dream. Rising costs and lower wages have killed the American Dream.

And who, might I ask, has left these inequalities in their wake, waiting for us to pick up the pieces? Telling us to be grateful when we rightfully voice the truth? Carpeting over those beautiful hardwood floors? Our parents and grandparents, naturally.

The older generations get annoyed with Millennials because we’re forcing and driving change. Baby Boomer landlords, business owners, and bosses now must reevaluate their practices or risk losing business, since Millennials aren’t afraid to shop around.

Forbes says, “Employers need to stop blaming Millennial turnover on issues of entitlement, listlessness or impatience and instead look at what these workers want and what they—as companies—have to offer them.”7 Business.com adds, “It’s crucial for companies to adjust to [the Millennial] generation to attract and retain talent…Managers need to consider what current and future workers expect from their employers today.”8

Additionally, services and apps like Whose Your Landlord allows younger renters (i.e., Millennials) to connect with landlords more transparently, seeing reviews from past tenants and getting a true idea of the lodgings available. This startup was developed as more and more young adult renters were falling victim to rental scams and feeling trapped by rent hikes while their chances at home ownership slipped further away.

Whether it’s finding a new place to live, a better place to work, or a different brand of chicken nuggets, Millennials vote with their dollars. And it has the Boomers scared as hell.

Making a fuss about how disrespectful and entitled Millennials are derails the conversation and puts us on the defensive. That might have worked when we were kids, but we keep getting older and moving on up the purchasing power ladder. Millennials in their early to mid-thirties are using every penny at their disposal to shape society and hold businesses accountable.

One might even argue that we’re changing the American Dream.

How to Make Sure You’re Killing It

Know that it’s okay to rent. People will tell you that renting is like throwing away money. These people are not in charge of your life. They are also wrong. Renting gives you options. Renting means you have someone who has to fix your broken pipe and the hole in your roof and the furnace. Owning a home may look like a cheaper monthly payment, but when the AC blows in the middle of the summer you are going to realize that you are solely responsible for fixing the broken things and that everything costs money. You can rent your whole life and still achieve happiness. (Plus, the recession and housing bubble burst of 2008 was not a fun time, let’s please not rush to buy homes we can’t afford.)

Travel, if you want. If you want to travel the world and do cool stuff in other countries or states, plan for it and save up to travel to your heart’s content. Plan to sublet furnished apartments to save costs, or travel in hostels or with AirBnB. Travel minimally and consider reducing your possessions to save on keeping things in storage while you are out of the country.

Buy smart. If and when you decide it’s time to buy a home, aim to put at least 20 percent down with a mortgage payment no more than 25 percent of your monthly take-home pay (this is the Dave Ramsey recommendation, and he knows what’s up). If you make $3,000 a month, your mortgage payment should be $750, give or take. This prevents you from having too much of your monthly income tied up in your housing costs. Also—you may be approved for a loan amount that is much higher than this. That is not the number that matters. The numbers that matter are 20 percent down, and 25 percent of your net monthly income.

Don’t fall for zero down. Millennials are at high risk of being targeted for “first-time buyer” schemes that promise an affordable payment and no money down. This is not a safe loan—don’t fall for it. While 20 percent is recommended to avoid special insurance called PMI (which adds to your monthly payment), 10 percent down is the minimum you should aim for. You should have zero interest in a zero-down offer.

Invest wisely. Being a Dave Ramsey follower, I recommend you follow his “baby steps” approach to personal finance, which starts with becoming debt-free and saving an emergency fund before starting retirement savings. Your mom may tell you to start saving now to get a head start, but she may actually be more broke than you, with all the cards on the table. If you act smart with your money and get your financial house in order before you start planning for retirement, you should still be well ahead of the game. Invest in quality mutual funds with a good track record, and make sure you understand the nuts and bolts of everything your financial advisor tells you. If they start telling you that you don’t need to understand something to put money in it, fire them and try again. You are in charge of your money.

Screw other people’s expectations. When your parents and relatives start turning up the “When are you going to settle down?” vibes, feel free to ignore them. You have to do what’s going to make your life fulfilled. If that means spending six months living in hostels because you just have to do it before you die, that’s cool. Finance your dreams with freelance work you can take with you wherever there’s Wi-Fi, or save up a travel fund and spend it frugally.

There’s no right time to have kids. It’s true that there’s never a right time to start a family, but there may be times that are better than others. Evaluate your own financial and family situation to decide for yourself if you’re ready to have a child. You might decide to have a baby outside the “norm” of love-marriage-babies by age thirty. You could have a baby before getting married, as a single parent, or even in your forties. You don’t have to have all the pieces perfectly in place to get started—you just have to be ready enough. There’s also no guarantee it will happen right away, and obviously there are age and health factors that impact fertility, so keep that in mind when you’re waiting for the perfect moment to arise.

Be independent. As soon as you can, extricate yourself from your parents’ purse strings. When they’re supporting you financially, they tend to have lots of opinions about how to run your life. When you can establish a boundary in this area, life changes drastically for the better. They’ll still have the same opinions, but you’ll feel less obliged to try their opinions on for size. You are the expert on your life.