Читать книгу Stuck with You: the perfect feel-good romantic comedy! - Carla Burgess - Страница 12

Chapter Four

I went to work. I wasn’t sure why I felt the need to go to work, but I just felt like the world had to keep turning and that was the most normal thing to do. Of course, once I was at work, I realised I should be at home, packing up my stuff. There was no way I wanted to be doing it when Alex was there that evening. Although, to be fair, he would probably be with his new woman. Arriving at my desk, I greeted Hilary, my boss, in an overly cheerful and slightly manic way and sat down, feeling breathless. It felt like I had a belt around my chest, restricting my breathing.

‘Are you all right, Elena?’ She stood up and frowned at me over the partition wall. Her hair was a bushy mass of bright yellow frizz and her tiny face nestled in the middle. She wore so much mascara that her eyelashes looked like spider’s legs. ‘You look a bit… peaky.’

‘Oh, ermm…’ Taking a few deep breaths, I stared at my computer as it whirred into life, wondering if I should confide in her. She should probably know in case I had a delayed reaction and started sobbing at my desk. I still felt hollow and shaken. ‘I just broke up with Alex.’

Her eyes widened in surprise. ‘Really? Why?’

‘He’s seeing someone else.’

A box flashed up on the screen and I typed in my password.

‘But that’s awful, Elena. Why have you come into work? Shouldn’t you take some time to get yourself sorted?’

I shrugged. ‘I needed something to do. Something normal to focus on. I’ve had a very strange twenty-four hours.’ I told her about getting stuck in the lift, omitting the fact that I’d had a crush on Daniel in my youth.

‘Oh my goodness! Elena, I really think you should go home.’

I sat and blinked at my computer screen. ‘I suppose I don’t really have a home now.’

‘But shouldn’t you be packing? Trying to find somewhere? Where will you go?’

‘Probably to my parents’ house.’

‘Do you want to ring them? I still can’t believe you’ve come into work.’ She was shaking her head at me, dangly earrings jiggling.

I shrugged miserably. ‘We hadn’t been getting on very well for a while,’ I said. ‘I was thinking of finishing with him anyway.’

‘But this must have come as a shock.’

I nodded, mutely. ‘I’d rather be doing something normal right now though,’ I told her. ‘I’ll go home at lunchtime, if that’s all right?’

‘Go home as soon as you need, darling. There’s no point in you struggling on. Take some time to heal.’

I smiled at her gratefully. She was such a lovely lady.

I worked until lunchtime, ignoring my mobile phone, which kept pinging with messages in my bag. I forced myself to concentrate on work only, pushing all thoughts of Alex to the back of my mind. When lunchtime arrived, I said goodbye and went downstairs to my car, ready to drive home. A deep feeling of disquiet had settled in my gut, and my hands were shaking so much I could hardly fit my key in the ignition. It didn’t feel real. None of it felt real.

Once again, the flat was empty when I let myself in. I filled my suitcase, a holdall and two plastic binbags full of clothes and shoes. I didn’t know what to do with all my books. And my cello. It was shocking to think of how much stuff I’d accumulated in the two years I’d been living here. Sitting down on the sofa, I looked at my mobile for the first time that day to see I had a text from Daniel.

Hey, hope you got home okay last night and have recovered from our ordeal? Dan

Without allowing myself to think too deeply about it, I sent a quick text back: Hi, yes, all fine. Thanks for everything, Elena x

Oh shit! Had I just put a kiss at the end of the text? It was just a habit; I always signed off texts that way. I put my phone down before I could stress, but another text came through almost immediately.

Good. Maybe we should set a date for next year to mark our one-year anniversary of getting stuck together? Same time, same place :)

I stared at it for a moment. It was quite surreal to be getting texts from Daniel when I was packing up the remnants of my life with Alex.

I wrote back: You’re on! See you next year.

I had more messages from Rachel, but instead of texting her, I dialled her number and waited for her to answer.

‘Elena? I tried to phone you at work. Are you all right?’

‘I’m not there at the moment. I’m back at the flat. Packing up my stuff.’

‘Packing? Why?’

I picked up a book and looked at its spine. ‘Alex is seeing someone else. He told me this morning.’

‘What? Oh no! Elena, that’s crazy! Do you need help? I can come now. We’re not busy and Bobbi can hold the fort.’

I was about to say no when I realised that, actually, I really did need some help. She arrived a quarter of an hour later, just as I was lugging my suitcase to my car. She skidded to a halt and came running over to me, enveloping me in a hug.

‘Are you all right? Oh, honey! This is awful.’

I shrugged. I still felt unnaturally hollow and sore inside and everything had taken on a surreal quality. The sky, the trees, the birds; everything felt too vivid, like I was in some high-definition film, acting out somebody else’s life. Even if I hadn’t been completely happy with Alex over the past few months, there was comfort in the boredom and I’d felt secure in my daily routine. This was like having my whole life torn up and thrown into the air; where and how the pieces would settle was anybody’s guess. I had to be brave though. ‘I knew there was something wrong, didn’t I? I said yesterday that it wasn’t right.’

‘I know, but this…’ Rachel indicated my suitcase with a look of dismay.

‘I have to admit, I didn’t expect this to happen. Or for him to have found another woman. And, you know, the thing is, he just blurted it out. He could have said he was at a friend’s house or anything and I’d have believed him.’ Fishing my key from my pocket, I clicked the button and the car flashed to say it was open. The case rumbled behind me as I dragged it over. ‘It’s for the best though. It wasn’t right and I could have wasted more time just thinking about leaving and being too scared to walk away. He’s made it easy for me to leave. I know that sounds cowardly.’ I shrugged and heaved my case into the boot of the car. It filled it. ‘I tell you what though; I never realised I had so much stuff. Or that my car was so small.’

‘Well, I’m here now.’ We looked at Rachel’s smart car and laughed. ‘Are we going to shred his suits?’ she asked as we made our way back up to the flat. ‘Or cut holes in his pants?’

‘No, nothing like that. I’m just going to leave.’

‘Really? You’re going to let him get away with this without a fight?’

‘What would I be fighting for? There’s no point making out like I’m heartbroken when I knew it wasn’t working. I was talking about ending it yesterday, wasn’t I? He’s been so grumpy and uncommunicative lately. Plus we barely see each other. We’re either at work or out, separately.’ I made my way slowly up the first flight of stairs.

‘Yes, but he’s seeing someone else. How long has he been seeing her? She’ll be the reason he’s been so grumpy and uncommunicative lately. That makes him a rat.’

I shrugged, sadly. ‘Maybe he went off with her because things weren’t right with me. I mean, we were never the most passionate couple. Even when we first got together, he was never particularly affectionate or even that interested in having sex.’

‘Really?’ Rachel screwed up her face in disbelief as I unlocked the door to the flat. ‘What do you mean, not interested in sex?’

‘Well, we did it, obviously,’ I said, looking at the pile of stuff I still had to take down to the cars. Just the sight of them exhausted me. ‘But not as much as some people when they first get together. He was always tired from work.’

‘Work? He only works in a bank, Elena. It’s hardly physically demanding.’

‘I know. I just thought he had a low sex drive, that’s all.’ I bent to pick up a bin bag.

‘And did it not occur to you to mind?’

‘Not really. I just liked being with him. Maybe I always liked him more than he liked me.’

Rachel grunted and picked up a box of books. ‘He must have liked you to let you move in with him. How did that happen, by the way? I can’t remember it even being a big thing?’

‘No, it wasn’t. It happened gradually. I spent so much time here, and left so much of my stuff here, that eventually I just started living here.’ I carried my bag to the door and opened it. ‘I suppose it’s a bit weird now, looking back, but it felt right at the time. And it was nice to be out of my parents’ house. It’s going to be weird moving back in with them.’ I gave a little shudder. ‘Like going back in time or something.’

‘Are your parents okay with you moving back in?’

I stopped walking and stared blankly at the wall opposite. ‘I haven’t had chance to ring them yet, to be honest with you. They don’t know about any of this. I’m sure they’ll be fine though. My room’s still there waiting for me.’

Rachel laughed. ‘Wow, that really will be like stepping back in time. Well then, let’s get this stuff into the cars, shall we?’

***

‘Hello, love!’ My mum looked astonished to see me standing on her doorstep, holding a bin bag and a lamp. She pushed her hand through her short dark hair and peered at Rachel, who was standing behind me holding a yucca.

‘Hi, Mum!’ I said, as cheerfully as possible. ‘Is it all right if I come and stay for a while?’

‘Of course it is!’ She leaned forward and kissed me before taking the lamp from my arms. ‘But why? Are you having your flat decorated?’

Wrinkling my nose, I shook my head. ‘Alex and I split up.’

Mum’s mouth fell open. She looked appalled. ‘Really? I had no idea you were having difficulties. Come in, come in. You may as well take everything straight up to your room. Lord knows, there’s enough clutter downstairs without you adding to it. Have you got much?’

‘Loads,’ I said, grimly, starting up the stairs after her. ‘Where’s Dad?’ I dragged the bag into my old bedroom and looked around. Everything was still the same as it had always been. The bed was made up with my old pink-check duvet. Even my ‘lunar eclipse over Stonehenge’ poster was still on the wall.

Rachel looked around in amazement. ‘This place is like a time capsule,’ she whispered.

Mum placed the lamp reverently on the bedside table. ‘Your dad’s outside in the garden. Shall I call him to help?’

I peeped out of the window to see him on his knees, weeding his borders. He looked completely immersed in what he was doing.

‘No, we’ll manage. He’s happy out there.’

‘He’ll be happier to see you. And you, Rachel.’ She turned and smiled at Rachel, who was positioning the yucca in the corner of the room.

Mum opened the window and yelled into the back garden, ‘Derek! Come and help Elena with her stuff.’

Dad’s head shot up in surprise and he got to his feet. I leaned out of the window and waved to him. ‘Hi, Dad.’

‘Hello, love.’ He beamed up at me, steel-grey hair lifting in the wind. He had mud all over the knees of his stonewashed jeans. ‘I’ll be there in two ticks.’

‘No worries, Dad.’ I turned back to Rachel. ‘Come on then, let’s get the next lot.’

I couldn’t help feeling sorry for Rachel. She’d been at work half an hour ago, arranging flowers and chatting to customers. Now she was wrestling bin bags out of her car and dragging them upstairs. I wanted to empty Rachel’s car first so she could go home, but she insisted on staying until my car was done too, and then stayed for a cup of tea and a chat with my mum and dad. It was both strange and comforting to be at home. I sat on the sofa, stroking Muriel the cat and feeling grateful my parents had just accepted me back without any fuss at all. I was lucky to have them.

I felt buzzy, like I’d drunk too much caffeine, and my mind couldn’t settle on just one thing. While everyone else chatted, I kept wondering what Alex’s new woman was like. Was she very different to me? Was she thinner and prettier? Was she more interesting? Did she make him laugh? I felt a pang in my stomach. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d made him laugh. When had it all gone wrong for us? Why didn’t he like me any more? What was wrong with me?

‘So, what’s happened with Alex, Elena?’ Dad asked, dunking his biscuit into a steaming mug that said Head Gardener on the side. Rachel stopped talking to my mum and stared at me. ‘I take it he knows you’ve moved out?’

‘I told him I was moving out this morning,’ I said, stroking Muriel’s black and white fur with quick swoops of my hand. She narrowed her eyes and hissed. ‘After he told me he was seeing someone else.’

‘Who?’ Mum demanded, as though she might know the girl herself.

‘Someone at work. I don’t know who. He said I didn’t know her. I suppose I should have asked more questions, but I just walked away.’

There was a collective intake of breath and three sets of eyes gazed at me in shock. The soggy end of my dad’s biscuit, which had paused halfway to his mouth, suddenly broke off and plopped back into his tea. He didn’t even blink.

I shrugged. ‘We haven’t been getting on that well anyway,’ I said, stiffly.

‘But didn’t you argue about it? Surely you must have given him some stick? Thrown a few plates? Wailed a bit?’ Mum frowned at me.

‘Not really. I just went to work. I suppose it shows how dead our relationship had become.’

‘Oh well, I suppose you’ve never been one for drama.’ Dad sniffed, while Mum moved her head around like a chicken, looking bewildered. ‘There’s no point yelling and shouting if the outcome’s just going to be the same. Let him go. I always did think there was something off about him,’ Dad muttered. ‘Too pretty by half. Too interested in himself. What kind of man moisturises?’

Rachel looked at him with interest. ‘Plenty of men moisturise these days. You should try it, Derek.’

My dad grunted. ‘Don’t need no bleeding moisturiser,’ he muttered. I could tell by the murderous glint in his eye that he was thinking dark thoughts about Alex.

I stared silently at the brown liquid in my mug. My throat ached with unshed tears and I felt empty and sore inside. Maybe a good cry would make me feel better? But half of me still couldn’t believe this was happening, and the other half felt like I had no right to be upset about a relationship I’d known was pretty much over anyway. Maybe this was just hurt pride I was feeling. Really, it should be a relief to be out of that flat and away from Alex. At least I didn’t need to worry about what mood he was going to be in when he finally came in from work, or what sarcastic or disapproving comment he might make next.

Rachel glanced at the clock on the mantelpiece and got to her feet. ‘I’d better go,’ she said. ‘Patrick’s ringing me at six.’

All three of us went to the door to wave her off, then returned to the lounge. My parents still looked troubled by the unwelcome news.

‘Thank you for letting me stay,’ I said as soon as Mum opened her mouth to say something. ‘I’ll go and finish unpacking my stuff.’

I left her in the kitchen and climbed the stairs to my childhood bedroom. Instead of unpacking, I sat down on the bed and gazed around at the old familiar space. It had never occurred to me I’d end up living back here. I’d gone away to university at eighteen, come back at twenty-one, met Alex a year later and moved in with him. I remembered how claustrophobic I’d found living back at home with my parents after all of the freedom I’d had at uni. How would it be this time round, I wondered. Would they drive me mad? Maybe I’d drive them mad? It felt a bit like defeat to be moving back home at my age, like I’d failed at being a grown-up. Still, I was grateful they had let me come back. Imagine if they’d downsized and there was no longer any room for me. Imagine having to stay living with Alex until I had somewhere to go. It didn’t bear thinking about. At least this way I had time to search for my own flat.

Collapsing sideways on the bed, I rested my head on my pink-checked pillowcase and thought about Alex. A sharp pang of loss sliced through me and I drew in a deep breath. It was strange to think we’d never eat together again or sit together in the evening watching TV; that we’d never share the same bed. It was the loss of these small things that made my heart jolt. They’d been my way of life for the past two years, and now I had to find a completely new way to live. I told myself it would be new and exciting; an ideal opportunity to make a fabulous new life. But I also knew it might not be that easy. I might never find a flat I could afford to rent on my own. I might never meet anyone new. I might never move out of my parents’ house again. Tears slid from beneath my closed eyelids and seeped into my pillow. Wrapping my arms around myself, I let myself cry, falling asleep eventually to the whirr of next door’s lawnmower and the smell of newly mown grass.

***

Mum brought me another cup of tea a little while later. I felt the dip of my bed as she sat down next to me and laid a gentle hand on my leg. I blinked up at her, eyes gummy and hair stuck to my face.

‘You haven’t got very far with your unpacking,’ she said, looking around the room at my stuff, which was strewn all over the place. My suitcase sat next to the wardrobe, still full and unpacked.

‘Mmm… sorry,’ I muttered.

‘It doesn’t matter, my love. You do it in your own time.’ She chuckled, gazing around. ‘It just looks like how your room was when you lived here anyway.’

Raising myself up onto my elbow, I reached for the tea on my bedside table. Sunlight slanted through the open window and I could hear birds chirping and scratching in the eaves above. It took me right back to my childhood. The tea tasted good, hot and wet on my dry tongue.

‘So, have you spoken to Alex yet? Do you think he’ll have discovered you’ve left?’

‘He usually doesn’t get back until eight.’ I rolled onto my back, staring up at the round paper lampshade above my bed.

‘Your dad’s spitting mad, you know. We both are. I just can’t believe it.’ She patted my leg.

‘There’s no point feeling angry about it,’ I said. ‘We were over anyway.’

‘Well, that’s no excuse. He needs to tell you it’s over before moving on to someone else. Although, goodness knows why he’d want to cheat on you! You’re kind, clever, beautiful.’

I gave her a small, sad smile. ‘You’re biased, but thank you.’

‘It’s toad in the hole for tea. I hope that’s all right.’

‘Lovely. Thanks.’

‘I bet you haven’t eaten today, have you?’

‘I had breakfast.’

Mum patted my leg again. ‘Well, tea won’t be long now. Do you want any help unpacking your stuff?’

‘No, I can do it. Thanks anyway.’

Getting up, I heaved my suitcase onto the bed and opened the wardrobe doors. There were still some clothes in there from before I moved out. An old denim jacket and the bridesmaid’s dress I’d worn to my cousin’s wedding. I pushed them to the end of the rail before unzipping my suitcase and hanging everything up. It didn’t take as long as I thought it would, and just over an hour later all my clothes were put away in the wardrobe and drawers, books neatly stacked on my old bookshelf, lamp and ornaments arranged on the dresser, and dressing gown hung on the back of the door. All that was left was a big pile of toiletries, waiting to go into the bathroom. It was oddly satisfying to have everything sorted so quickly and I looked around the room, amazed I’d managed to cram everything in. Putting the stuff away had made me feel less displaced and more positive. This was my home, and I had happy memories of growing up here. My parents were great, and although I’d found them stifling after university, I had a sneaking suspicion they’d be far easier to live with than Alex had been recently.