Читать книгу Every Time a Bell Rings - Carmel Harrington - Страница 12

It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before. ‘Maybe Christmas,’ he thought, ‘doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas … perhaps … means a little bit more.’

Dr Seuss

Christmas Eve, 1988

‘You know there’s only one thing that I really want for Christmas?’ Tess says to me.

We’ve been busy all morning already, making sausage rolls and mince pies. The kitchen smells like a bakery and it’s making me so hungry. A ham is bubbling away on her range cooker too and the turkey is defrosting in the sink.

She places a plate of sausages and toast in front of me at the kitchen table and my stomach rumbles hello to them.

I lick my lips in anticipation, but then as Tess’s words sink in, I look at Dee-Dee in panic. What are we going to do? We don’t have any money. We can’t buy Tess a present. And I have to get her something good. She’s so nice, she deserves something special. I reckon I’ve no more than forty pence in my savings, which would not buy much. I suppose I could get her a bar of chocolate.

‘She loves chocolate, that’s for sure,’ Dee-Dee says. ‘You have that picture you drew too.’

I did take ages and ages to make sure I coloured it all in. But I’m not that good at drawing Christmas trees, I think it looks a bit wonky and more like a Christmas cracker.

‘I’ll let you in on a little secret, Belle. All I want this year is to hear your voice,’ Tess says. ‘I bet it’s just as pretty as you are.’

Oh.

‘You should say something,’ Dee-Dee says.

And I nod. I want to, but I can’t seem to make my mouth co-operate. I don’t want to upset Tess, though.

Yesterday, when we were watching that movie, I wanted to say something to her. I was so cross with Jack Frost trying to take over Christmas, but I couldn’t get the words out.

‘Maybe she’ll throw us out, if you don’t talk,’ Dee-Dee tells me and I start shivering at the thought. Where would we sleep, Dee-Dee? She doesn’t have an answer for that and I hold her in close to me again.

‘Don’t be getting upset,’ Tess says, reading my mind. ‘I have lots of patience for you, my little butterfly. You speak when you are good and ready. I can wait.’ She kisses my head and goes back to the frying pan to plate her own breakfast.

Maybe it’s going to be okay. I think I’ll draw a butterfly on her picture, though. With lots of bright colours on its wings. Because she’s always calling me that. She must really like them.

‘Who’s that on the phone at this ridiculous hour?’ Tess says when the phone rings out, filling the house with its shrill sound. She shuffles in her slippers out to the hall, to answer it.

These sausies are good. I ask Dee-Dee if she wants some, putting one up to her face so she can have a nibble.

When Tess comes back a few minutes later, she’s singing in her off-key voice, ‘Have yourself a merry little Christmas’ and I start to hum along with her. I like that song a lot.

‘Well, it appears that you really have been a good girl this year, Belle. Santa has arranged it so that one of your presents will arrive early. This very afternoon, in fact. So eat up your sausages, we’ve lots to do. I have to go down to Tesco to get a few last bits for our special surprise.’ Tess is beaming at me and I feel a thrill of excitement.

I’ve never had an early present before. I beam back at her.

‘I bet it’s my dress,’ Dee-Dee says. ‘A big, gold sparkly one.’

‘Answer the door, there’s a good girl,’ Tess tells me, when it buzzes. She jumps up and quickly stubs her cigarette out. Then she starts waving her magazine around the place to disperse the smoke. As I walk out the door, she’s sticking the ashtray under the sink to hide all the evidence.

‘What Mrs Reilly don’t know, won’t kill her.’ She winks at me.

I wonder, is this my present at the door? I’ve waited all day for Tess to give it to me. But what has Mrs Reilly got to do with it? Why is she talking about her? I get my answer and see her standing on the porch.

The problem is that I’ve come to realise that whenever Mrs Reilly arrives, so does bad news.

Oh no, Dee-Dee, she’s come to take us away. I move backwards towards Tess, and I want to scream at her, let me stay, I like it here. Tess is smiling, though, and nodding towards the door, telling me to look in that direction. She doesn’t have that look that I’ve come to recognise on grown-up faces that they all get when they are about to tell you that it’s time to go.

She places her hands on my shoulders and directs my eyes towards the door again. And then I notice that standing just behind Mrs Reilly is a boy.

A tall, lanky, thin boy with hair the colour of a fox. It’s wavy and it’s falling over his eyes. He’s got his head looking down, though, and I notice his fists are clenched by his sides. He doesn’t look very happy, I realise. My heart contracts. I know that feeling.

‘Hello, Jim.’ Tess says, moving towards him. She welcomes them both inside and closes the door behind them. ‘Belle, will you come over and say hello to Jim. He’s coming to stay with us for a while. And he’s eight years old, too, just like you are. Imagine that.’

She gives me a triumphant look and I get it. Even before Dee-Dee screams at me, ‘this must be Santa’s present,’ I get it.

‘He’s not a girl, though,’ she laments. I agree that’s a pity, but he looks okay, for a boy, that is.

He looks up through his hair and I see the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen before. Freckles are scattered densely across his nose too.

Then he looks up and shoots me a dirty look, as if to say, what you looking at? He looks me up and down and sneers.

‘He looks a bit cross,’ Dee-Dee says, stating the obvious.

‘There’s not a pick on you,’ Tess declares, taking him in too and I sneak another glance at him.

Yeah, he’s skinny alright.

‘Well, there’s a challenge for me. How quick can I sort that out for you, young man? I reckon I can put some meat on those bones, quick smart. I’ve enough food in to last us a lifetime in there,’ Tess jokes, thumbing the kitchen.

‘I’ve a boy at home the same way. All legs and not an ounce of fat. He eats me out of house and home,’ Mrs Reilly says to Tess and they both tut at the misfortune of it.

‘Sure I only have to look at a bun …’ Tess says and I giggle.

‘She does more than look at buns,’ Dee-Dee jokes.

‘Do you want to put your bag up in your bedroom?’ Tess asks the boy. ‘You’ll be sleeping in the room at the top of the stairs, first door on the left.’

He looks upwards and suddenly his face doesn’t look cross any more, instead he just looks scared.

I recognise that look. Something in my heart contracts again in sympathy and I feel myself moving forward towards him.

I don’t think about it or plan it, but somehow or other, the words tumble out of my mouth with ease. ‘I’ll show you where your room is if you want me to.’

Before he has a chance to answer, Tess rushes over to me and pulls me into her, so that I’m squished into her big boobs. It feels nice, even though I can’t really breathe. I take in her smell, her Tess smell, which I reckon is the not-unpleasant concoction of onions, sausages, chocolate and tobacco.

‘I knew your voice would be pretty, my little butterfly,’ she says. I think about pulling away from her, but it feels nice and safe here. So I put my arms around her waist, as far as I can make them go and think that I could stay here like this a long time.

‘You do like it here,’ Mrs Reilly says in approval. ‘I told you so.’

‘I like it a lot,’ I say to her and turn to Jim, who looks a bit bewildered by the scene that just unfolded.

I want to show him that I understand how he feels right now, that I know that he’s scared. I want him to know that I feel the same way, most of the time too. But even though it’s scary, it’s going to be okay here. Tess is okay. More than okay. I’ve worked out that she’s kind of wonderful.

‘I know how you feel,’ I whisper to him. I stare into his eyes and he looks at me, our eyes locking. Neither of us moves a muscle and it feels like he gets that I’m trying to tell him something important.

‘Okay,’ he says and smiles for a second. I run up the stairs and can hear him running up behind me, two steps at a time.

When we get to the top, I say to him. ‘You’re my Christmas present, you know. I asked Santa for you. And look, here you are.’

And even though he must think I am barmy, he doesn’t say anything, he just looks away. I can tell that he’s all embarrassed by my declaration. But I don’t care.

‘I’m in there.’ I point to my bedroom on the other side of the landing, then open the door to his room. Tess was up in here for ages earlier, I didn’t know what she was doing. But I can see that she was getting the room ready for Jim. It’s like mine, but it has a blue duvet on the bed instead of pink. There aren’t any cushions, but there is a mat on the floor in the shape of a car. And the wallpaper has blue stripes on it.

I thinks it’s pretty cool.

‘It’s a boy’s room,’ I tell him and he sits down on the bed, trying it out for size. ‘Mine is a girl’s room. In pink.’

He looks at me, head cocked to one side, as if he’s trying to work me out. ‘Do you have to stay here too?’ he finally asks.

‘Yes,’ I say, ‘I suppose I do.’

‘For how long?’ he asks.

I shrug. I don’t know the answer to that. But then I surprise myself by saying, ‘I hope it’s forever.’

He doesn’t like that answer, though. He’s starts to shake his head and the angry look is back on his face again. I didn’t mean to upset him. I’m not sure what I said wrong.

‘I’m going home soon. I won’t be here for more than a day or two, you wait and see. My mam says she will come get me when she feels better and gets herself sorted. It will be any day now.’

‘Oh, you’re a temporary.’ I say. I’ve seen lots of them over the years. Boys and girls who come for a few days, sometimes as short as one night, until some family member comes by to take them home.

I haven’t met as many like me, who stay for a long time.

‘You’re lucky so. I don’t have a mam,’ I tell him.

‘Everyone has a mam,’ he replies, looking doubtful at my statement.

‘Not me,’ I say, as my mother’s face jumps into my thoughts, making me a liar.

I’ll be back later. Don’t you dare leave this house. And don’t break anything.

Don’t go, mam. Don’t leave me here on my own. I’m scared. I want you.

I don’t want to talk about mothers any more. ‘Do you like biscuits? Tess has lots of them,’ I say.

He nods and I’m relieved that he looks happy enough to drop the subject. So we run downstairs to get some. I know Tess will already have the tin out.

I’ll be back soon, Dee-Dee, I shout to my friend, as I run out the door. She smiles happily to me, telling me to have fun.

‘Simon’s a computer, Simon has a brain, you either do what Simon says or else go down the drain.’

Jim and I are both in stitches as we chant the song over and over, each taking turns on my new computer game.

Out of all the things Santa put in my pillowcase last night while we were sleeping, this is my favourite. Jim is still marvelling at how Santa knew where to find him at such short notice. He even got the exact same Lego set he’d asked for.

Santa is magic, I keep telling him. I wish I could see Santa right now to give him a big hug. I hope he liked the biscuits I left out for him. He sure ate lots of them.

We’ve been playing Simon for most of the day, only stopping for a little bit to have dinner. I’m the best at remembering and I keep beating Jim’s best score, which is driving him mad.

‘Have a go, Tess,’ I shout to her. She looks like she’s almost asleep, her head bobbing up and down to her chin.

‘I wouldn’t know what to do,’ she splutters.

‘It’s easy. It has four different-colour panels. And all you have to do is touch them quickly to copy whatever pattern that Simon sets. Easy peasy.’ I show off my skills and give her a quick demo.

She gives it a go and Jim and I giggle when she’s out after only a few seconds.

Then, she throws the game back to me, sitting up with excitement in her chair.

A movie is starting, it’s in black and white and the song Buffalo Gals fills the room.

‘It’s not Christmas till I watch this. It’s a Wonderful Life. My absolute favourite movie of all time. What I wouldn’t do to George Bailey if he came a knocking on this door looking for refuge. I’d not turn him away,’ she sighs. ‘You will both love it …’

But before she can finish, Jim jumps up, knocking his juice to the ground as he runs out of the room.

‘Jim?’ I call after him and he shouts back, ‘I don’t want to play any more.’

What did I do? I can hear him tearing up the stairs, so I scramble to my feet to follow him.

‘I’ll go,’ Tess says, placing her hand gently on my shoulders. I can’t understand what’s happened.

Tess is gone for ages and I don’t feel much like playing any more. I half-watch the movie, but I can’t concentrate on it. I flick though my new Bunty annual, but even that can’t keep my interest.

After an age, Tess comes back down. ‘He’ll join us in a bit. Nothing to worry about, I promised you. He’s just a bit lonely for his mam, that’s all. It’s A Wonderful Life is her favourite Christmas movie too, it appears. They always watched it together. So I’m afraid it made him a little homesick.’

‘Where is his mam?’ I ask. ‘What’s wrong with her?’ The way Jim talks about her, she’s the perfect mother. So why isn’t she here with him right now?

‘She’s not well,’ Tess lowers her voice to a whisper and says, ‘She suffers from her nerves, God love her. She’ll be grand soon enough.’ Tess sighs and starts to mop up the spilled juice with her ever-present tea towel.

‘Tell you what, why don’t we open up those chocolates? See if we can take that frown off your little face.’ She says to me.

I decide that I’ll save some chocolates for Jim too. As I nibble on my favourite soft caramel, I wonder what is worse: having no mother at all or having one, then losing her.

I don’t have an answer to that.