Читать книгу Red-Hot Desert Docs - Carol Marinelli, Amalie Berlin - Страница 17
ОглавлениеIT REALLY WAS a wonderful, relaxing time.
In the morning Adele and Leila would swim gently and then lie on their backs in the healing water and talk.
Adele was now taking the tonic that the attar had prepared and she had never slept better. She was starting to awake refreshed, instead of wanting to pull the covers over her head and go back to sleep.
Sometimes she would see Zahir and they would walk on the beach or go for a drive.
They spoke about things but not about them, and though she ached to know if there was any progress or hope for them, she was also grateful that they didn’t discuss it. It meant she could meet Leila’s eyes when she returned.
One afternoon, as she and Zahir walked on the beach, Adele looked over at the glittering palace.
‘How come it’s called Diamond Palace when there are so many other stones?’
He didn’t answer her.
‘Zahir?’
‘When you’re ready to know, you shall.’
Zahir asked about the car accident she had been involved in.
‘Did you see my notes?’
‘Yes...’ he nodded ‘...and also I heard Janet tell Helene.’
‘I don’t really like to talk about it.’ If he could simply choose not to answer then so could she!
They walked in silence for a moment and she looked at the sparkling water and at the gorgeous palace ahead and wished she could stay here for ever.
It was Zahir who broke the silence.
‘Do you know, I was going to buy you a car for helping my mother?’
Adele smiled. ‘It wouldn’t have been appreciated. I can’t drive. I was only learning when it happened.’
‘I could give you lessons,’ he offered. ‘I taught Dakan to drive when he first came to London. He’s rather arrogant...’
‘Like you.’
‘Of course, and I doubted he would pay much attention to a driving instructor. I would be very patient with you, Adele.’
‘I know you would,’ she said, and she thought about it. He was very calm and controlled and if there was anyone who could teach her to drive it would be him, but she shook her head.
‘After the accident I promised I would never get behind the wheel of a car again. I meant it. I just don’t want to.’
‘Fair enough.’
She liked it that he accepted her decision and didn’t try to dissuade her.
And, Adele realised, she could tell him what had happened that day.
She wanted to.
For the first time she wanted to tell someone who wasn’t a lawyer or a police officer or an insurance representative.
‘I’d only had a few lessons,’ Adele said. ‘I was on a main road and trying to turn into a street against oncoming traffic,’ Adele said. ‘I’d done it at the same spot the previous week, except this time it was rush hour and there was this wall of traffic coming towards me.’
She stopped walking and so did Zahir.
Adele couldn’t both walk and talk as she recalled that day.
‘I kept missing the gap in the traffic and realising afterwards that I should have gone then. I was starting to panic and the cars behind me were getting impatient and sounding their horns.’
He saw unshed tears but today he was grateful that they did not fall, for it might kill him to listen to this and watch her weep and do nothing. Given they were in view of the palace, he was very glad that Adele didn’t cry as she told her tale.
‘Mum suddenly said “Go...” and even as I went, even as I put my foot down, I knew that I’d made a terrible mistake. She said, “To hell!” and everything went slowly. I knew then that she had been telling the drivers who were sounding their horns to go to hell. I sent her there, though...’
‘And yourself.’
Adele nodded.
‘It was an accident, Adele. A terrible accident.’
‘I know,’ she agreed. ‘And for the most part I’ve forgiven myself. I just...’
‘Say it.’
She couldn’t.
‘You can say it to me,’ he offered more gently.
‘I think it would have been easier if she’d died.’
And she looked up into silver-grey eyes and they accepted her terrible truth.
‘It would have been harder for you at first,’ Zahir said, ‘but, yes, easier on you in the end.’
‘I don’t know how to move on.’
‘You already are,’ he said. ‘Moving on is just about going forward, not necessarily pulling away.’
And they started to walk again.
Slowly she started to heal.
The evenings were hers for relaxation and enjoyment and at night she would check on Leila’s wounds and give her her tonic.
It was blissful.
A bliss Adele never wanted to end, but time was starting to run out and on her last Friday she and Leila lay on their backs in the salty sea water and Adele closed her eyes against the sun and just floated.
Leila was pensive beside her.
‘My husband has to go on a royal visit to Ashla—a neighbouring country—tomorrow,’ Leila said. ‘I am thinking of joining him.’
Adele turned her head in the water. ‘Will there be a lot of formal duties?’
‘Not for me,’ Leila said. ‘Just one dinner on the Sunday night. I like visiting Ashla, we always have a nice time when we go there. We would return on Monday morning.’
That was when Adele flew home.
Her time here had raced by but now it was ending. Oh, it would be wonderful to see another country, but she loved her mornings in the healing baths and the occasional time spent with Zahir.
It was dawning on Adele that she might not see him after today and nothing had been solved.
Not a thing.
There was no solution.
‘When would we leave?’ Adele asked.
‘Oh, no.’ Leila shook her head. ‘I do not need you to come with me. You can have the holiday you so deserve. I think a couple of days away with Fatiq are in order. Things are very strained between us.’
It was a huge admission and when Leila finally made it Adele gave it the attention it deserved and stood up in the water.
‘Leila?’
‘I love him very much. Today, though, is a difficult day and the build-up to it has been harder than usual.’
Adele remembered what had been said the afternoon Leila had collapsed. ‘Is today Aafaq’s birthday?’ she checked, and Leila nodded, and then she too stood in the water and told Adele something that perhaps she should not.
Yet she could no longer hold it in.
‘Things are very tense between Fatiq and me, Adele.’
‘Birthdays and anniversaries are the worst. Well, I haven’t lost a child and my mother’s still alive but I know how much they hurt,’ Adele said.
Indeed they did.
‘Separate rooms aren’t helping matters,’ the Queen admitted.
‘Does that have to be adhered to?’ Adele gently enquired.
‘I don’t know.’ Leila gave a helpless shake of her head.
‘What about when you go away?’
‘Oh, it will be separate apartments there,’ Leila said. ‘I cry every night.’
Adele was worried, not just for Leila but for Fatiq too.
They were grieving for their son but not together, and the rules kept them apart at a time when they needed to hold each other most.
And Leila spoke then about her tiny son, and how his little feet and toes had been just the same as his brothers. How hard he had fought to live. ‘He wanted to live, just as much as I wanted him to live,’ she said. ‘I want his life to have meant something wonderful—instead, year by year, it is proving to be the death of our marriage.’
Adele didn’t know what to say.
‘Oh, we would never break up but we are growing further apart and this operation hasn’t helped. Maybe I should have carried on with the healer.’
‘Leila,’ Adele said, ‘you collapsed. And am I right in guessing that it wasn’t the first time?’
‘You are right.’
‘You needed the surgery. I am so sorry you are hurting so badly today.’
‘I will miss Aafaq for ever,’ Leila told her.
‘Of course you will.’
‘It has helped to speak of him on his birthday. Usually I just deal with it alone and so does Fatiq. One day I hope we can speak of him but I can’t see it happening. This evening Zahir is taking me to the desert so that I can visit Aafaq’s grave. Usually I go by myself.’
‘What about Fatiq?’ Adele asked, and then corrected herself. ‘I mean, the King. Does he go and visit the grave?’
‘He went this morning.’ Leila said. ‘Alone. He’s so...’ Her face twisted in suppressed anger and Adele watched as she fought to check it.
‘He’s grieving,’ Adele said. ‘It manifests in different ways.’
There was a sad atmosphere back at the palace and, late afternoon, as Adele lay by the pool, she looked up and saw a helicopter. She guessed it was the Queen and Zahir.
* * *
It was.
He held his mother’s hand as they were taken deep into the desert and he held her shoulders as she stood dry-eyed and pale at her son’s grave.
Zahir looked at the small stone his father must have placed there earlier today.
‘I wish we could celebrate his life,’ Leila said. ‘Yet all it does is tear us apart.’
Zahir knew his mother was referring to her marriage.
‘Adele says that he is grieving,’ Leila continued. ‘That it manifests in different ways. I just thought he was angry with me.’
‘He is grieving,’ Zahir said, and he was glad that his mother had had Adele to talk to.
But soon she would be gone.
Now that he had seen a photo of Aafaq, now that he had spoken with his mother, it hurt even more to be here, and yet he would work through it.
Zahir prayed for his brother, for the tiny Prince who had never had a chance to serve his people.
He himself, on the other hand, did have a chance, yet it was being denied to him.
Still there was no hint of solutions.
He knelt in prayer and every fibre in his body strained for a sign, for a glimpse as to what he should do.
Be patient.
Do what is essential.
In time the answers will unfold.
Yet still they hadn’t.
He picked up sand from his brother’s grave and pocketed it.
And then he put his arm around his mother and walked her back to the helicopter.
She was drained and tired and Zahir was again glad that Adele was at the palace because she greeted the Queen with a gentle smile and he knew that his mother was in good hands.
Adele walked up the many stairs with Leila and on the way she saw Fatiq and lowered her head as she had been instructed to.
‘Fatiq,’ Leila called to her husband, and there was a plea in her voice. Adele would happily melt away if only these two would talk, would embrace, but then the King spoke.
‘Layla sa y da.’
Goodnight.
Adele checked Leila’s wounds and they had all healed. She gave her her potion and Leila lay in the vast bed and looked so alone.
‘You’re going to cry when I go, aren’t you?’ Adele said.
Leila nodded.
‘Would you like to cry with me?’
And she did. She cried for her tiny son who should be a man and her husband who seemed to be moving further away from her every day.
And Zahir heard it.
Walking in the grounds, he heard his mother weeping and he wanted to go upstairs and shake his father.
There must be change.
He was no longer patient.
