Читать книгу The Best Of The Year - Medical Romance - Carol Marinelli, Amalie Berlin - Страница 21
ОглавлениеMIRA WAS SHOCKED.
He saw it in her face. But was she shocked at the fact that he’d been married or that his wife had died because of him?
Her fingers touched his. “God, Jack. I had no idea. I’m so sorry.”
Yeah, well, so was he. Sorry he’d been so eager to climb up that career ladder. Sorry he’d dragged Paula with him as he’d gone up one step and then another without any thought as to how it would affect her career or the lives of her patients. Sorry that he never got to hold her and tell her that before she’d slipped away.
“I didn’t tell you to gain your sympathy. I told you so you’d never make a decision you regretted.”
She stared at him for several seconds, a bunch of emotions running over that beautiful face of hers. Then her mouth tipped to the side in a half-smile. “Too late. I’ve done plenty of things I’ve regretted.”
“Like your ski instructor?”
Her brows went up, and her smile grew. “I’m sure you didn’t mean that as in, ‘Do you regret doing your ski instructor?’ That does not sound good, Jack Perry.”
Relief swept over him. She wasn’t going to sit here and make him dissect his every regret or say that he shouldn’t feel guilt over his wife’s death. Or that he shouldn’t take pills to sleep. She’d catalogued what he’d shared and was okay with moving past it. He was just as happy to keep the ball rolling in that direction.
“Well, how about this, then. Do you regret doing me?”
She drew imaginary circles on the wooden surface of the bar with her finger. “I think you have that event reversed, Doctor. I seem to remember you doing me.”
“Is that so?” His body began to show a definite spark of interest in where this conversation was headed. “I think there was a little give-and-take going on there at the end.”
“Your beans are getting cold,” she said innocently, scooping up a bite of her own and popping it into her mouth.
He couldn’t prevent a smile. “That’s about the only thing getting cold.” He’d indulge her. But now that she’d thrown open the door, he had no intention of slamming it shut again, agreement or no agreement.
Why not enjoy each other for the next week or so? There was nothing wrong with that, and as long as they were both okay with it...
So he dug into his own food with gusto. Putting off the inevitable would only make it that much sweeter. “What time do you have to be back?” He wanted to make sure he enjoyed every decadent second of their time together.
“Actually, I’m not due back until tomorrow, unless there’s an emergency.”
“I didn’t pack clothes for an overnight stay.”
Her lips pursed as she looked him over. “Who said you needed clothes?”
Okay, so there was no mistaking those words. “Did you bring me out here just for this?” Not that he’d mind. At all.
“No, but now that we’re here I’m thinking it might not be a bad idea. Unless you’d rather go back to the lodge.”
Oh, sure. He was just going to smile and say, “Thanks but, no, thanks.” Not hardly. Not with this particular woman.
“Going back is not on my agenda. In fact, my schedule just became wide open.”
“Good, because I’m thinking the thick blanket I brought would look pretty darn good in front of the fire.”
He picked up his chicken. “I can think of something else that would look even better.” He took a bite, still staring at her.
“Mmm. So can I.” She blew out a breath. “Wow. I don’t know if Ellory is rubbing off on me or if it’s you. I’m not usually this forward.”
He swallowed his food, chasing it down with a slug of wine. “I like it. It’s a whole lot easier knowing where you stand than having to guess.”
That was one of the things that had bothered him most about Paula’s death. He’d never been entirely sure whether she’d wanted to move to Texas or if she’d been doing it just to please him. The heart of his guilt lay in that uncertainty. If she hadn’t wanted to come and had just spoken up, he would have stayed in California. Gladly. Now he’d never know. He pushed back the thought.
Mira sipped at her own wine. “It’s funny. I’ve always been a good girl. Quiet. Obedient. It’s why I love Ellory so much. She’s spontaneous and fearless. She always goes after what she wants, rarely letting anything stand in her way.”
“And you do?”
“Sometimes.” Her mouth twisted. “I think I work too hard to meet other people’s expectations of me. I forget who I am at times.”
He set his glass down and touched a finger to her cheek. “I think you’re the girl who’s sitting at this bar right now. And the girl who worked so hard to rescue those people after the avalanche. There’s more to you than you realize, Mira Dupris.” His fingertip traveled along her jaw and then down her neck. “And you blow me away. Every time I look at you. Talk to you. I haven’t been with many women since my wife’s death. And never more than once, but with you...”
Taking a deep breath, he decided to go for broke. “But with you I find myself wanting a next time. And a next.”
And maybe that revelation was where the healing finally began in earnest.
She gave a visible swallow then said, “I feel the same way. You were supposed to be just one more guy. But you’re not.”
He planted his hands on either side of her stool, gripping it tight and turning it toward him. Then he hauled it closer and leaned in. “I’m glad.”
His mouth met hers and that familiar rush of heat washed over him, undiminished, just as strong as it had been the first time they’d kissed. That combination of sweet and sexy that went straight to his gut.
Hands touched the back of his neck and then curled around it as if afraid he was going to back away. Not likely. All he wanted was more.
Beneath her winter coat she’d worn a creamy turtleneck that, when he reached up to touch her, met his fingers with a buttery softness he wanted to lose himself in. Just like he wanted to lose himself in her. Skimming up her sides, he laid his palms on her back, luxuriating in the feel of her.
God, she just did it for him.
He didn’t want to examine the whys right now, just wanted to enjoy being with her, absorb a little bit of that joie de vivre she had, just like a vampire.
Mira made a little sound in her throat, the kind that slid over a man like silk...that made him want to draw more of those sexy gasps and capture them inside his mouth.
“Hey,” he whispered. “Let’s break out that blanket.”
She blinked at him with glazed eyes for a second before nodding and getting off the stool. She walked over to the sofa, and hell if his gaze didn’t stick right to her ass, admiring every little twitch and jiggle it made as she moved.
Yeah, he had it bad.
He joined her, taking an edge of the blanket and spreading it in front of the fire. He couldn’t wait to see the warm glow worship every inch of her skin. Because he planned to kneel at that particular altar himself for most of the night.
When he moved toward her, she shook her head, making him frown. Then he realized why, when she pulled the turtleneck over her head, revealing a peach bra that was so thin he could see the buds of her nipples pressed tight against the satiny fabric. Jack’s mouth watered.
Her hands went to her back.
“Don’t take it off,” he murmured.
She bit her lip but did as he asked, leaving the garment in place. Her fingers toyed with the button on her jeans, glancing at him in question.
“Definitely.”
His body hardened, a thumping going through his head as she undid her pants and slowly pushed them down her hips.
Her panties matched her bra, just like they had the last time they’d been together, but there were no ties on the sides this time. That was okay. There were plenty of ways to get those off her. Or not. Depending on how he felt when the time actually came.
Right now, his brain was tapping out Hurry in some kind of weird Morse code. He ignored it. No hurrying. Not tonight.
She stepped out of the jeans and kicked them to the side, before getting on her knees on the blanket. Crooking a finger at him, she motioned him closer. When he went to kneel in front of her, she gripped the knees of his jeans and hauled him closer, keeping him on his feet.
Did she know how close she was? How suggestive her position was?
“Your turn,” she said. With that, she used both hands to open his button and then unzip his fly.
His turn to what? Get undressed?
He had his answer soon enough when she tugged his pants and briefs down to his knees, freeing him. He gave an internal curse. He was right. He was in line with a very warm and wet area, and his body was sending out all kinds of messages. But he wasn’t going that route. Not without a clear sign from her.
Her hands went around him, and she glanced up at him. “Like I said, it’s your turn. Come here.”
It suddenly dawned on him. She was referring to their last encounter when he’d put her up on that bar and had his way with her.
She was about to turn the tables.
Sinking his fingers in her hair, he slowly closed his fist around the silky strands and edged her closer. That gorgeous mouth opened right on cue. So very, very close.
Hell.
“Do it.” His muttered words were rough, surprising even him.
Mira closed the gap, the heat of her mouth engulfing him in a slow glide that had him shuddering with need. Hot flames licked at his body as her hands left his erection and went to the backs of his thighs, curling around them, hauling him even closer.
His vision went white, all sensation pooling at the points of contact between them, her tongue sliding over his length in a single smooth stroke that made him wonder if he was going to lose it right here. Right now.
No. That’s not what he wanted.
When he went to step away, though, she followed him, forcing him to reach back and grip her wrists, tugging them away so he could put some space between them. The popping sound of lost suction created an agonizing mixture of triumph and despair inside him that he was in no hurry to erase. But he was in a hurry for something else.
Still holding her wrists, he hauled her to her feet, insides steaming with heat when she gazed up at him and licked her lips. “Not fair,” she murmured. “I wasn’t done yet.”
“You were done all right.” In another few seconds he would have been as well. He moved her wrists behind her back and held them there with one hand, while he palmed the back of her head with the other, holding her still so he could capture her mouth. His tongue plunged inside, a demonstration of what he had in store for her, and he used his hold on her wrists to press her abdomen against him, trapping himself between their bodies. It wasn’t nearly enough, but he had to somehow slow this train wreck down.
He let go of her hands, sliding up to find the clasp on her bra and releasing it. Then he stepped back yet again, taking the straps with him, allowing the silky garment to drop onto the blanket. Then he tugged his shirt over his head and finished losing the rest of his clothes.
Allowing his gaze to slide over her, he reveled in the toned limbs that came with skiing and working in the snow and ice, and the pale creamy skin that went so perfectly with a chilly climate. No tanning beds for this ice princess.
Only she wasn’t made of ice. She was hot and smooth and made him ache like no one ever had before. He held out his arms, and she came into them willingly, her nipples pressing against him, her silk panties welcoming his hands as he slid beneath the back of them and cupped her bottom. Hell, he wanted to be inside her. Wanted to thrust and grunt all the way to completion, but part of his pleasure was watching her come apart beneath his hands. So he set about making that happen, allowing his lips and teeth to trail from her face to her neck and finally to the tips of her breasts until her low moan washed over him.
Yes.
This was what he wanted more than anything: to be what brought her to life and led her down that sensual path until she could no longer resist its pull.
His tongue scrubbed over her nipple, letting the sounds she made guide how long he visited, how much pressure he used. And the woman could take a lot, fingers thrust into his hair pressing him closer and urging him to be just a little rougher.
Jack’s body let him know in no uncertain terms that it wanted in on the action, the ache ramping up to almost painful proportions. When she moaned again, his flesh jerked in a silent plea.
Soon.
Still beneath her panties, his hand slid from her butt around to the front and edged deeper, his fingers finding a familiar sweet heat...and damp readiness. He stroked over her, moving to kiss her mouth as those delectable little sounds increased in frequency.
Making his decision, he pulled free, wrapped one arm around her thighs and slid the other beneath her shoulders. He swept her off her feet and onto the blanket, following her down.
He kissed her hard and wet and long, feeling her arch against him.
Off came the panties. One knee went between her legs.
Anticipation roared through him as he slid a finger deep inside her, thumb going to that sensitive nub of flesh and stroking over it in gentle flicks that had him quivering with need.
“Jack.” Her back arched again.
That was all the encouragement it took for him to slide his body into the gap between her thighs and surge forward. He found her, just as he’d expected. Hot and tight and slick with her own need.
He swallowed, knowing he’d waited too long. His body was tightly wound, full, ready to burst open at the slightest move.
“Hold on, sweetheart, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.”
Struggling to keep himself in check, he thrust again and again, concentrating on hitting that one vital spot at the top of her legs. Legs that wrapped around him, pulling him deeper and harder as she lifted her hips and plastered herself against him the second they made contact again. She ground and gasped and wiggled, eyes closing tight as that final wave of sensation swept toward them. It crashed over her first, the sudden tightening of her flesh around his unleashing a torrent inside him. He rode the crest a second or two longer before finally succumbing and tumbling headlong into the surf, allowing it to carry him all the way back to shore.
He lay there for several seconds, not sure if he was stunned into immobility or if he’d died and rocketed straight into heaven. All he knew was that there was no place he’d rather be than right here in this woman’s arms.
And that fact terrified him. Paralyzed him.
Because one act had just cost him everything.
In rushing to the finish line, Jack had lost much more than the fight with his body. He’d also lost the battle with his heart.
* * *
Jack had been quiet the whole ride back to the lodge the next day. They’d gone to bed the previous night, where he’d held her, looping his arm around her as they’d slept. But he hadn’t tried to make love to her again, unlike the previous time they’d been together.
She wasn’t sure if she’d done something wrong or if it was just him.
Part of her was afraid she’d appeared too desperate and needy, grabbing at him and giving herself that last burst of pleasure. But it had been too late to stop by that point. And he’d seemed to like it at the time, groaning encouragement into her ear and increasing his pace.
But afterwards he’d seemed strange, rolling off her and staring at the ceiling for several long seconds. He’d recovered and pulled her to her feet, giving her a quick kiss on the mouth before offering to let her use the shower first.
First. Not together.
They’d eaten a canned dinner of stuff they’d found in the pantry, but the mood had been somber as they’d sat on the couch later, facing the fire, Jack’s arm around her.
What had he been thinking?
If she’d said something, he’d responded, but emotionally he’d seemed to have withdrawn.
Today she’d treated a couple of patients, giving one teenager a lecture on helmet usage when he’d appeared with a lump on his forehead after falling on the slopes, and hugging a child who’d had a boo-boo on her finger—courtesy of a sharp pinch from a door. Neither were serious injuries.
Unlike the weird volley of emotions that soared through her chest one second and fell into the pit of her stomach the next, only to bounce up and start the cycle all over. It was exhausting.
She slumped in a chair in the dining room, picking at her salad. Ellory was off hiking by herself for the day. She’d left a note at the front desk that she’d check in with Mira later and that she hoped her outing with Number Five had been productive—and hot. She had a “feeling” about this one.
So did Mira. And it wasn’t a good feeling.
In fact, it was as ominous as the weather forecast for the coming week. There was the threat of the first big storm of the season. Moisture was gathering to the southwest and there was a high-pressure system in the northeast that was preparing to send a frigid blast of air their way. When those two forces combined, things could get dicey over the next five days. At just over twelve thousand feet elevation, Silver Pass was almost sure to get a large portion of that snowfall, if it arrived. Already the resort was busy preparing behind the scenes while trying not to worry any of their guests. The storm could very well peter out. She’d met with her dad this morning for breakfast, but he’d been distracted about the preparations.
If only she could be just as diligent to prepare for any eventuality with Jack. But without even a vague forecast to go by, there was nothing she could do. Oh, she could tell him she was reneging on their deal, that she didn’t want to see him any more for the duration of his stay. But what if she was overreacting?
A man’s shoes came into view beside her table. Her heart leap-frogged over itself as she jerked her head up, only to land with a clunk when she realized it was Robert. Great, just what she needed.
“Mind if I join you?” he asked.
She motioned to the chair across from hers. “Help yourself.”
He set his coffee on the table and then dropped into the seat. “We never did get a chance to talk.”
“About what?” Lord, she really didn’t want to rehash their whole breakup.
“Your dad came out to see me a few hours ago,” he said. “Did you tell him about us?”
“Yes. Why? Did he say something?”
He shook his head, lips pursing. “No. He really just talked about how long to keep the slopes open, if this storm hits.”
Leaning back, he ran a hand through wavy blond locks that had always reminded her of a Norse god. She could see why women were attracted to him. But he no longer did anything for her.
“Okay, I’m not sure I understand, then. Are you worried?”
“I just want to know exactly what you told him. Do I need to look for another job?”
Ah, so that’s what he was worried about. With his snarky comments of late, maybe she should let him sweat for a while. But since she was finding out first hand how it felt to be kept in the dark about someone’s intentions, she didn’t wish that on anyone. Not even Robert.
“Whether or not you look for another job is up to you. If he asks for specifics, I just plan on telling him the truth, that we both realized it wasn’t going to work and decided to break our engagement.” She shrugged. “So as long as you keep doing your job, you should have nothing to worry about.”
“Thank you.” In a move that was not in character for the self-assured cocky man she knew, he covered her hand with his and gave it a squeeze before tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “I know it doesn’t mean anything, but I want you to know I’m sorry for how things went down. I should have had the courage to tell you up front that I wasn’t ready to settle down.”
You mean before you made out with that bimbo and several others? Yeah, you could have saved us both a whole lot of grief—and saved me from a clunker of a resolution.
One she no longer wanted to keep.
She didn’t say any of that, though. “What’s done is done. I recommend honesty the next time you get involved with someone.”
His lips gave a rueful twist. “Understood.” He hesitated. “If later on down the line—”
“If you’re going to say what I think you are, then no. You’re right. It wouldn’t have worked.”
“Is it because of that guy you’ve been hanging around?”
Mira swallowed, trying to divert her thoughts to something else. It didn’t work. Jack’s face popped into her mind—the way his eyes had darkened as he’d settled over her last night.
Lord. Robert was right. It was because of Jack. That’s why she was so sure it could never work with him, even if she found out he hadn’t been cheating.
She was in love with Number Five. Someone she knew beyond the shadow of a doubt would never cheat on the person he loved. He’d shown that in how he talked about his wife...the guilt he carried about how she died.
Mira just...knew.
Maybe she really could tell the good guys from the bad.
And she loved him—for that reason and so many more.
The knowledge was both exhilarating and devastating. He’d made it clear he wasn’t looking for anything serious.
But with you, I find myself wanting a next time. And a next.
Jack’s words from last night whispered through her mind, then rewound and played back all over again.
It certainly wasn’t something she was going to admit to Robert, though.
“I’m not involved with anyone. Nor am I planning to be. I’m just not interested in giving us another chance.”
He gazed at her for a second before giving a slow nod. “Okay. Let me know if you change your mind. I’ll be around.”
With that, he picked up his insulated drink carrier and walked away.
Right past Number Five, who was standing not three feet away, his own coffee cup in hand. His eyes were on them.
Oh, God. How much of their conversation had he just heard?
Enough, evidently, since he veered away and chose a table twenty feet away.
Oh, no, he didn’t. If he wanted nothing to do with her, he was going to have to tell her flat out.
Leaving the remainder of her salad uneaten, she got up and went over to his table and pulled out a chair. Unlike Robert, though, she didn’t ask if she could sit. She just did.
“Hi,” she said. For all her bravado, her heart was slipping around in her chest like a skier who’d just realized the run he was on was way above his skill level.
Jack’s fingers tightened on his mug. “Hey. Hope I didn’t run him off.”
“You didn’t.” She licked her lips. “How are you?”
“That’s the question of the year, isn’t it?”
“I’m sorry?”
He blew out a rough breath. “Nothing.”
After several beats went by, she decided to test the waters. “About yesterday—”
“Yeah, I was just coming to talk to you about that.” Another pause. “You love it here, Mira, don’t you?”
“Silver Pass? Yes, of course I do. I grew up here. Why?”
“No reason. Just curious.”
That was a strange thing to be curious about. Besides, what did it have to do with yesterday?
Before she could turn back to that particular subject, Jack started in again.
“I don’t know if you’ve seen the weather forecast, but I’m due back in Texas in a little over a week, just after that storm is supposed to hit. I don’t want to take the chance on my flight being canceled if it’s worse than predicted, so...”
He was leaving. Not in a week. But soon. Maybe even today.
“When are you going?”
“They’re trying to book me on any flight they can get, so I figured I wouldn’t have time to track you down and say goodbye. The reception desk told me you were in here, so I thought...” his jaw tightened “...now was as good a time as any.”
As good a time as any? As if she were no more important than any other business acquaintance. She guessed that put her in her place. If he wanted to tell her exactly where she stood, he couldn’t have chosen a better way to let her down easy.
Only it wasn’t easy. But she wasn’t going to drop to her knees and beg him not to go. He had a job back in Texas. She’d known that from the very beginning.
That was one thing living at a ski resort taught you, that people were not permanent fixtures. They came and they went. An endless cycle that could bring heartache, if you let it. Isn’t that what she’d been trying to teach herself with her resolution? That she needed to let them wander through while keeping her heart away from those high-traffic areas?
God. And look how successful she’d been at that.
“Well, it’s been fun. Thank you.” She swallowed. “Have a good flight.”
When she stood to go, he grabbed her wrist, fingers tight against her skin. “It was more than fun, and you know it. I just can’t do...this.”
This. This? What the hell “this” was he talking about?
She had no idea. But whatever it was, he didn’t want it. Didn’t want her.
Her chin went up. “I don’t remember anyone asking you to.”
There. Way to lob it right back at him, Mira.
Instead of pride, though, all she felt was sadness...and that same weird desperation she’d felt in his arms last night.
Number Five was leaving, and she hadn’t even had to tell him to go.
She could try to convince him not to. Tell him how she felt. But did she really want to grasp at someone who...what was it that Robert had said? Oh, yes, who just “wasn’t ready to settle down”—with her or with anyone.
Jack released her and the fingers of her other hand rubbed at the spot, trying to erase the memory of his touch. It didn’t work, though. He’d branded himself on her. Not last night. Not that time in his hotel room. But that very first time their hands had gripped each other’s in the snow.
And now she had to find a way—like he had—to uncurl her fingers and let him go.
