Читать книгу A Child Shall Lead Them - Carole Page Gift - Страница 11

Andrew Rowlands hadn’t been on a real date in months. And this wasn’t really a date, either, he reminded himself. On this balmy August evening he and Juliana Pagliarulo were having dinner together at a little Italian bistro in Del Mar. Nothing to it. Longtime friends simply having a pleasant evening together.

Then why was his heart pounding now with excitement as he gazed across the table at her? Why were his palms perspiring? Why did he feel like a teenage boy out on his first date? It wasn’t as if he and Juliana hadn’t had plenty of dinners together before. Hey, they were practically related, now that her son was married to his daughter. Andrew had even kissed Juliana in the moonlight a time or two. They had talked about having a future together, and then they had decided…he had decided…that they should just be friends—no entanglements, no commitments, no romance. Just friends.

The only problem was that since he had made that decision, he couldn’t get Juliana out of his head.

Couldn’t stop remembering those kisses. Couldn’t stop yearning for more.

For six long years he had managed to remain faithful to Mandy, to her memory. He had convinced himself there would never be another woman in his life. He had had the perfect marriage. Okay, not perfect, but as close as two flawed human beings could get. Even after Mandy’s death he had still felt a connection with her. He had done an amazing job of keeping her alive in his head, in his heart. His love for her had never dimmed.

But lately, his emotions were betraying him. He couldn’t summon memories of Mandy the way he used to, couldn’t visualize her face, her eyes, her smile. It was as if she were slowly, inevitably retreating from him, quietly vanishing into the shadows. How could that be? How could he be losing her again?

Whatever it took, he couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t stand to lose Mandy twice in one lifetime. Hadn’t he already grieved enough? Hadn’t he remained stalwart and unshakable in the face of grief? It had taken more strength than he had imagined to reconcile himself to living with mere memories, but he had done it. Had become surprisingly comfortable, in fact.

But now everything was changing. A wellspring of long-suppressed emotions was erupting in his soul, mushrooming up, supplanting his placid memories of Mandy, replacing them with confusing feelings, unexpected yearnings, unsettling desires. And they all focused on one woman—the lovely, loquacious Juliana Pagliarulo.

“Andrew? Andrew, are you still here?”

Startled, he gazed over the flickering candles at Juliana. She was wearing a stylish, red, belted sheath that accentuated her hourglass figure, and her raven-black hair was swept up in an elegant twist. The candlelight danced in her dark, sultry eyes and gave her bronze complexion a breathtaking radiance.

He cleared his throat, trying to compose himself. “I’m sorry, Juliana. What did you say?”

She leaned forward, a smile teasing her red lips. “I said, here I am having dinner with a very handsome man, and he’s a million miles away. Am I losing my touch?”

He grinned, red-faced. “No, not at all. My mind wandered for a moment. I apologize.”

“Dare I ask where it wandered?”

He flinched. He didn’t want Juliana thinking he was still mooning over his dead wife after all these years, especially when he was on a date with her.

Before he could respond, she murmured gently, “Is it Mandy?”

He lowered his gaze. This lady could read him like a book. “Foolish of me, isn’t it? How can I be thinking about the past when the present company is so delightfully enchanting?”

Her smile widened, a slow, mysterious Mona Lisa smile. “How can I take offense when you say such endearing things?”

Their repartee was interrupted when the waitress brought their Caesar salads. Andrew reached across the table for Juliana’s hand and held it as he bowed his head and asked a blessing on the food. They ate in silence for a moment; then, making conversation, Andrew asked, “So how are the newlyweds doing?”

Juliana blotted her lips with her linen napkin. “Oh, Andrew, they are so in love. You should see them together. They have eyes only for each other.”

Andrew nodded, beaming. “I’m glad they’re happy.” He didn’t want to admit it to Juliana, but he had been a little concerned about his daughter moving into the Pagliarulo estate and beginning her marriage with her mother-in-law and sister-in-law already in residence. With two other women there, Cassie could hardly be the woman of the house. Cautiously he ventured, “How is it working out with all of you under one roof?”

Juliana waved her hand gracefully in the air. “Oh, there is no trouble. We all get along very well. Sometimes I cook, sometimes Cassie cooks, sometimes we cook together. But if you ask me, I think she is just as happy when I take charge.”

“Cassie never was one to cultivate her culinary skills. She was always glad Frannie did the cooking in our house.”

“Well, she and Antonio live such busy lives, I don’t mind taking care of the household chores.”

“Just the same,” warned Andrew, “don’t let her take advantage of your kindness. One of these days she has to learn what being a homemaker is all about.”

“Oh, I’m sure she will learn in time. But for now my son and your daughter feel as if they are still on their honeymoon.”

Andrew finished his salad and set down his fork. “How is your daughter adjusting to the new living arrangements?”

“Belina is very happy to have Cassie living with us now. The two have become good friends. Now that Belina is out of her wheelchair and walking again, she spends little time in her room. She’s discovering a whole new world outside the walls of our home. Cassie and Belina go shopping and take walks together. Cassie has even convinced Belina to enroll at the university.”

“Really? I’m amazed.”

“So was I. It’s hard to believe my daughter who refused to leave her room a year ago is taking classes and meeting people.”

“I know how much that means to you,” said Andrew. “And I’m glad Cassie could have a part in helping her.”

“A very large part, Andrew. I am so grateful to her.”

They paused as the waitress brought Juliana’s manicotti and his veal parmigiana and replenished their basket of garlic bread.

Juliana helped herself to the bread and broke off a crust. “Andrew, the doctors have set a date for Belina’s surgery.”

“Surgery?”

“The side of her face where she was burned in the accident…they have a new technique to remove scar tissue and replace it with skin from another part of her body. So, if all goes well, she will no longer have to live with her disfigurement.”

“Wonderful,” said Andrew. He had liked Belina from the first time they met; he had seen her potential and felt her pain over her scars and physical handicap. Now she was walking again and soon would be as beautiful outside as she was inside.

“Will you come with me to the hospital?” asked Juliana softly. “When Belina goes to surgery?”

Andrew reached across the table for Juliana’s hand and squeezed it firmly. “Of course I will. You know I’ll be there.”

Tears welled in Juliana’s eyes, but she smiled brightly in spite of them. “I had hoped that’s what you would say.”

He sat forward with a confidential air, as if he were about to impart a secret. “You know, Juliana, that I will be there for you whenever you need me. Just say the word.” He felt a sudden impulse to say more, to confess how much he cared for her, how much he needed her, how he was wrong to let their blossoming relationship slip away, but he caught himself and nearly bit his lower lip to keep the words back. Juliana had enough to deal with, without him getting unduly sentimental and burdening her with impossible expectations.

How could he suggest they resume a romantic relationship when it couldn’t possibly lead anywhere? It wasn’t as if they were two lovesick teenagers who could run off and get married and forge a single destiny for themselves. He and Juliana had lived very different lives; they both had obligations, responsibilities that neither could ask the other to surrender. They each had a well-established household to run. Juliana had her daughter to care for, and Andrew had two of his still at home.

He couldn’t imagine asking Juliana to give up her glamorous, independent life in her fancy Del Mar estate to marry him and move into his comfortable but admittedly provincial home. And the idea of the feisty, flamboyant Juliana Pagliarulo performing the humble duties of a minister’s wife was preposterous, prompting him to laugh aloud.

“What’s so funny, Andrew?” asked Juliana with a quizzical smile on her lovely face.

He cleared his throat self-consciously. “Funny?”

“You just laughed, as if someone had told you a joke. What were you thinking about?”

He rubbed his jaw awkwardly, his face warming with embarrassment. Juliana had caught him. There was no way he could tell her the truth—I was laughing at the idea of you being a minister’s wife—and no way he could lie. All he could do was stall or divert the conversation. “How is your manicotti?” he enquired.

She smiled knowingly. “Delicious. But you are avoiding my question. Why did you laugh suddenly?”

He shook his head. “It was nothing…a silly thought. Okay, you asked for it. The truth is, I was thinking about us…how different we are.”

“Is that so bad?” she asked in her most alluring voice.

“I suppose not. Opposites attract, as they say.”

“Is that true for us, Andrew? The attraction part, I mean.”

He poked absently at his food. “You know the answer to that one, Juliana.”

“I thought I did,” she murmured, lowering her gaze. He couldn’t miss the disappointment in her voice.

They both slipped into an unsettling silence that made Andrew’s stomach churn. He had intended this to be a casual, uncomplicated evening, some good food and pleasant conversation between friends, nothing more; surely nothing heavy or awkward. And now they were both precariously close to dredging up unresolved emotions and unfulfilled expectations. Neither had ever admitted it, but he knew they both wanted more from this relationship.

And they both knew it was impossible.

Try as he might, Andrew couldn’t think of a thing to say to neutralize the tension-filled moment.

Thankfully, Juliana recovered quickly and flashed a brilliant smile. “Andrew, you haven’t told me how things are at your house.”

“My house?”

“Yes. With Brianna and your new houseguest. What’s her name?”

“Marnie. Marnie Smith…if that’s her real name.”

“Why would she mislead you?”

“Her family doesn’t know she’s pregnant.”

“I see.” Juliana took another slice of garlic bread. “The girl is working for you, isn’t she? Or did I hear wrong?”

“You heard right. She’s doing secretarial work for me at home. Letters, filing, research. A good worker and a genuinely nice girl. Pleasant. Kind. Caring. Plays a mean game of Monopoly. To tell you the truth, I’ll miss her when she goes.”

“And when is that?”

“After the baby comes. It’s due early in September. From what Bree tells me, Marnie will give the baby up for adoption and then return home, supposedly with no one the wiser.”

Juliana shook her head, her eyes clouding. “What a painful thing to do. She must be a very brave girl to carry a baby for nine months and then be willing to let it go.”

“She feels she has no choice. Meanwhile, both she and Brianna are caught up in the pregnancy. Bree is even taking Lamaze classes. She plans to be Marnie’s coach.”

“Oh, Andrew, I can’t imagine it. Childbirth is so different these days. Girls have such modern ideas.”

“Actually, I find it a little disconcerting. Brianna is so excited, you’d think she’s the one having the baby.”

“From what you’ve told me, she’s always been the little mother, bringing home lost and needy animals…and people.”

“That’s my daughter,” said Andrew. “Trying to mend the hurts of the whole world. But this is different.”

“How so?”

“I’m not sure.” He drummed his fingers on the table. “I haven’t said this to anyone, but I’m worried about Brianna.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. It’s just…well, she’s become so emotionally involved with Marnie and her baby. I’m afraid Bree is going to feel a real loss when they leave.”

“She’ll handle it, Andrew. Look how strong she’s been all these years since her mother died.”

“You’re right. So why do I have this nagging fear that one more significant loss might send her over the edge?”

“You don’t really believe that, do you?”

“Not that she would be a basket case. But another loss could make her erect more fences. She’s thrown herself heart and soul into helping others, but she has no personal life. She rarely dates. How is she going to find a suitable husband if she keeps a lock on her heart?”

Juliana laughed lightly. “Oh, Andrew, you’re playing matchmaker again, just like you did with Cassie and Antonio. Haven’t you learned your lesson? It doesn’t work. We are fortunate that our children found each other in spite of our fussing and scheming. You must trust your daughter to do what’s right for her, and trust God to bring the right young man into her life at the proper time.”

“In other words, you’re saying I should be patient? I should just sit back and let whatever happens, happen?”

“Yes. You are a man of faith. Have faith in your daughter.”

“I’m trying.” Andrew lapsed into silence. What he didn’t want to tell Juliana was that his misgivings were growing every day. He couldn’t even say why. He just had an uneasy feeling about Marnie and her baby. He sensed there was trouble ahead, and that somehow his caring, unsuspecting Brianna was going to be in the thick of it.

Now, if he could just figure out a way to protect his darling daughter before it was too late.